BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 29 Mar 05 - 02:22 PM

That explains it, then.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 29 Mar 05 - 12:32 PM

on top of all that (or at the bottom of the matter) is that if you don't get the BS out - it *WILL* effect your health!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 29 Mar 05 - 12:14 PM

COme gather 'round, folkies, leave trial and leave stress
And take up the torch in defense of BS
For there's nothing as grim or as sorry to see
As a girl singing lonely from up in a tree.

Come singers and poets, and spinners of tales
Who tell of the Gryffins, and Monsters and Whales,
Who weave wondrous stories of the heathen Chinee,
And Leave not poor Rustic alone in her tree!

And you who write poetry, narrow and long,
Step forth to assist her as she sings in her song,
How the world must be freed of all pain and duress
By making it safe for the best of BS!

How dark, like a dungeon, and dank as a mire
Would our world be deprived of its pure BS fire!
It would be such a bore, nevermore to soar free
So come stand forth boldly, just under her tree!

BS it is wholesome, it is good for the soul,
It raiseth the heart, makes the time sweetly roll
And there's nothing on earth or elsewhere I confess
That passeth the hours like a load of BS!!

Aloysius Whittaker Cummerbund IV
Songs to a Bird in a Tree
Limpwrist and Flaming, New York, 1967

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Layah
Date: 29 Mar 05 - 12:09 PM

Noooooo, that was post 7063 (1B6B) and this is now 7064 (1B7C). That is all.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Layah
Date: 29 Mar 05 - 12:06 PM

Did you know that in hexadecimal 7062 is 1B6A? Wasn't that interesting? Do you know how long it takes me to figure that out? Too long. I have to hope no one will post the 7062nd post while I'm figuring it out. Yes, I have an essay to write that I'm avoiding.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,ode to bullshit
Date: 29 Mar 05 - 11:55 AM

Hell, that was me in the last post. (rustic)

If ever there could be
a song about bullshit and thee
I'd learn it well, and pass it on
and sing from the highest tree.


fin

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 29 Mar 05 - 11:52 AM

With BS it isn't that you get what you pay for (politicians hand it out in bushels and rarely charge for it - though we end up paying for it anyway) just that the individually crafted BS has so much higher quality!

As an aside - do you realize how much really successful fiction started as bedtime stories for the children of the authors? Even some mystery and horror writers admit they run plot lines past their kids.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Mar 05 - 11:50 AM

I am on the level! Yes siree. I walk the straight line of bullshit, Bunnhabhain! You are the prophetic one aren't you?
Bullshit is preferred 10 to 1 on the richter scale of life.

I said that.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Layah
Date: 29 Mar 05 - 11:42 AM

I admit it. I feel guilty every time I get some corporate BS, but it's just cheaper than that Mom and Pop BS. I'm sorry, I just can't afford to spend the extra money.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 29 Mar 05 - 11:15 AM

America was built by quality BS -

Paul Bunyan; Pecos Bill; Babe the Blue Ox (he conttributed a LOT of BS); Joe wasshisface that got melted down in a pittsburgh steel mill; Mike Fink, etc.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 29 Mar 05 - 10:44 AM

Parity for BS!! Parity for BS!!

There thousands of small-scale and family BSers going to broke because of corporate and government BS! Many have had BS in their families for generations, even millenia, and yet they are being driven to give up their heritage because politics and the greed of plutocrats! And this is while there is a veritable plethora, a staggering surplus, of BS in this country! We can't even export it fast enough! BS is being destroyed every day for Federal Agencies.

This is an intolerable situation! Picture the early pioneers, trekking across the vast, uncharted, prairies. Fighting bandits and wildfires, coping with loneliness and heartbreak, seeing those they love perish to disease and danger, laying the track and building the bridges. Fighting to protect their dream at such places as Stillman's Run; picture brave Fetterman and bold St. Clair, their wounds flowing with gore, still fighting on in spite of it all. And why? Because of their dream!

Yes! All for their dream that their children would have a Better Place For BS. And today we are ripping that dream to shreds, selling the souls of our foreparents to corporate greed and governmental interference.

Rise up! Strike now! Restore the American Dream! Free BS from the chains that bind it!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Layah
Date: 29 Mar 05 - 10:43 AM

Slander! I am not dying. I plan to live forever. So far, so good. I've done it this long, I think I'm getting the hang of being alive. Don't see why I can't keep this up forever now that I've gotten this far. =)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 29 Mar 05 - 10:39 AM

Unfortunately if you consider the number of actual messages, the equilibrium staggers, reels, and shatters.

Although there is an occasional reference to music among BS threads, there is a far greater incidence of BS to be found on threads nestled above the salt.

And in any case the BS threads count much higher than the music threads, in number of messages per thread, even if each was pure unto its class.

But that's alright Ma -- we're only dying. Since that is a universal condition of the life-cycle, as its inverse (anyone dying is progressing toward birth) we have no alternative, in the final analysis, but to celebrate eternal oscillation. An energetic, dramatic, harmonious, musical and communicating oscillation of forms in time and space, greater than which no mind has seen.

Amen.

Rev. A.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Stilly River Sage
Date: 29 Mar 05 - 10:10 AM

Isostatic Equilibrium might be useful--no more earthquakes, for example. It's a little scarey to think that there are as many BS threads as music threads--ignore it and maybe the phenomenon will go away.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 29 Mar 05 - 09:52 AM

We have achieved BS-equilibrium!

At the moment of this posting, the number of music threads and BS threads is equal! Unfortunately, I'm too tired to attach any significance to this observed phemomenon. Ya'll have at it.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 29 Mar 05 - 09:49 AM

Only in the mind, son...reality seems so very far away -- wodda trip...far out!


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 29 Mar 05 - 08:31 AM

if you're going to drop of the page stilly - mind the first step - it's a doozy!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Stilly River Sage
Date: 28 Mar 05 - 08:58 PM

Here's wishing Chuckles fine dining in D.C. Hesheit should aim for the second floor of that building, or the ovoid room in the wing in the back. Don't spit it out even if it wiggles and tastes real bad.

I just dropped a gig of RAM memory into my new computer! Whooo hoooo!

(I wonder why we're getting the Google ad "Help Brain Tumor Patients" when we haven't been discussing brain health on this particular Mudcat thread?)

Stilly--working hard not to fall off the page

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Layah
Date: 28 Mar 05 - 08:35 PM

Did you know that 7049 in binary is 1101110001001. This useless piece of info brought to you by Layah.

Layah

PS see look! I posted, and I didn't even make fun of Bunn's rhyming! Unless that counts as making fun of it right now. Dang. Well, I just couldn't resist.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 28 Mar 05 - 08:00 PM

Just for the record the word you want is cojones, meaning ouevos or testicles.

"Cajones" means half-breeds from Louisiana who speak French, in Spanish. A rare feat.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 28 Mar 05 - 07:29 PM

Georgie-Porgie Gordon rhymed "ruin" and "Don Juan," and I doubt that I could follow a better lead than that of the Peer of the Realm.

In rhyming, I mean. Georgie had Other Ways that I don't want to follow.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bunnhabhain
Date: 28 Mar 05 - 05:53 PM

Amos used flattery to to shame us,
GUEST was stirring and nameless,
Khandu thought this won't do,
Idaho said "I don't know..."
But Rustic rebel was on the level.

Rapiere waited 'til later,
and went off to bake a potato
Stilly River Sage fell off the page,
as the cat was down for days,
Tweed was in need,
of rhyming couplets,
Little Hawk gawked,
at pure doggeral,
And Bunnahabhain,
cannot rhyme again
As MMario, Layah, Bobert and Chuckles
Are names to give me much trouble.


Well, you do better then!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 28 Mar 05 - 04:31 PM

ROFLMAO. Rapaire, I have done called off the dogs. You are too good to be true!!

LOL


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Mar 05 - 04:23 PM

cajones and trombone as a rhyme?

do you pronounce it trom-bone-ay?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 28 Mar 05 - 04:20 PM

Ever' mornin' at the MOAB you could see him arrive
He stood six-foot six and weighed about ninety-five
Kinda broad at the shoulders and narrow at the hip
Ever'body knew you didn't give no "lip", to Big Amos.

Nobody knew where he'd left his cajones
He just drifted onto MOAB and played his trombone
He didn't say much, 'cause he was loud and famous
And if you spoke at all, you just said hi, to Big Amos;

Somebody said he came from San Dieg'
Where he got in a fight o'er a chicken leg
And an upraised finger from a huge right hand
Nearly sent him off to the promised land, Big Amos;

Then came the day when a hard drive crashed
Data was lost and files were trashed
MOABites were prayin' and hearts beat fast
And ever'body tho't they'd have to work at last, 'cept Amos;

Thru the dust and the tears of this man made hell
Walked a giant of a man the MOABites knew well
Grabbed a sagging sector and gave out with a groan
And like a giant Oak tree just stood there alone, Big Amos;

With all of his strength, he gave a mighty shove
Then Stilly yelled out, there's data above
And twenty MOABites logged in for a data save
And now there's only one left down there to save, Big Amos;

With floppies and jump drives they started back down
Then came that rumble that the drive had ground down
And as smoke and gas belched out of the draw
Ever'body knew that he'd met ol' Spaw, Big Amos;

Now they never tried to reopen that worthless thread,
They just placed a marble urinal in front of it
These few words are written on a plaque:
At the bottom of this pipe greps a big, big man, Big Amos.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Mar 05 - 11:38 AM

Well, Rapaire, it appears you are studying the diplomatic and literary styles espoused by Mister Bush, a sort of cryptic neo-Fascist approach involving steamrollering and invective. We started off so well, too.

You are quite free to write any song you like, of course. Let me just caution you that you will inherit the fruits of your product, so you had best make it sweet.

What Bush and his ilk never realize is the consequences of their own creation.

Sigh.

How I wish you had chosen differently.

MM, they are terrific lawyers. What Troll can't accomplish, Restiulatem always does.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 28 Mar 05 - 11:16 AM

chuckles,chuckles,chuckles.

it isn't we who move. It is the turtle.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chuckles
Date: 28 Mar 05 - 11:11 AM

Iwe do not like this place. No one stays still! How can you put down your mycelium if you are moving all the time? How can your sporophytes generate fruiting bodies? How can the creature Bee-Dubya-Ell fire pots with accuracy if things are moving around all the time? No wonder Bubba Bubba excorporated!

Wei will seek out the Alpha Designer of this place. Iwe have heard that sheithe lives in a place called "The White Horse" in the District of Colombia and is a vegetable. Aklark and we will seek itherhim out and felicitously consume himither.

Thank you.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 28 Mar 05 - 11:03 AM

MY attorneys are Ashcroft, Gonzalez, Mitchell, Meese, and Taney; the Senior Investigator is a Mr. Hoover. Ya call my stuff names and they'll be down on you like an nauseam ad litem, got it?

And I ain't through yet, neither.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 28 Mar 05 - 10:46 AM

Amos - do STWT&R do good work? I've had Slander, Gossip and Inuendo reccomended to me as effective - but not sure SG&I are appropriate for my needs.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 28 Mar 05 - 10:41 AM

Frankly, Rapaire, it is to say the least disappointing. It lacks the creativity and freshness of which there was at least a glimmer of a promise in your earlier beginning work.

I am torn between resorting to similarly scurrilous mediocrity in kind, or simply contacting Stirrup, Trawl, Windup, Troll, and Restimulatem, my attorneys, asking that they write you.

What once promised an artistic fruition has degenerated into mere slander. This is a sorry development, my friend, and I can only hope we can do better in the future.

Amos

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 28 Mar 05 - 10:28 AM

BTW - 7035 is significant.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Stilly River Sage
Date: 28 Mar 05 - 10:27 AM

Oops--I see I misspelled one place--it's Coronado. Could make a difference in the rhyme scheme.

I should also say "ouch!" regarding that last verse.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 28 Mar 05 - 10:27 AM

I hate waiting.

anticipation! an-tis-i-pay-ay-tion is bringing me down!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Mar 05 - 08:47 AM

I got it!

Some said he'd lost cajones,
When he'd got in a fight with a Cajun Queen,
And a vicious yank from a huge right hand,
Sent dreams of manhood to the Promised Land,
Big Amos.

There! How's that?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 28 Mar 05 - 08:41 AM

7032? seems it was just last week we were trying toi hit 6000!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Mar 05 - 11:42 PM

SRS, you been peeking over my shoulder while I wuz driving around?

Rapaire, you can use my big toe. It represents the whole town.

I must say I yam quite flattered...noone has ever stuck me in a song before.

I'll have to return the compliment. If I can think of a rhyme scheme including Rapaire and Idaho. Perhaps I will include SRS, Bobert, Khandu and Rustic Rebel in there as well. And Tweed, Leedle Hack, an' Bunnhabain, with which nothing will ever rhyme.

Anyway, thanks, man. Made my night!!


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 27 Mar 05 - 10:54 PM

Perhaps a synecdoche would come in handy to complete your song. What part of San Diego could you use to represent the whole of San Diego? Coronada? La Jolla? La Mesa? Mission Beach? El Cajon? Scripps Institute? The navy yard (there is one, right?)

Just a thought.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Mar 05 - 08:53 PM

Every mornin' at the MOAB you could see him arrive,
He stood six foot six and weighed two forty five
Kinda broad in the shoulder and narrer at the hip
And everybody knew you didn't give no lip ta Big Amos.

Nobody knew where Amos called home,
He just drifted onto MOAB and kept all alone,
He said quite a lot, sort of mouthy and sly,
And if you thought of him at all ya figgered he was high...
Big Amos.

Some said he came from San Diego,
and there ain't nothing to rhyme that with in English, so screw it.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Mar 05 - 05:31 PM

Finally, the Truth Comes Out!

It takes a Big, Big Man to make such an admission, Amos.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Mar 05 - 03:41 PM

OK. Just this once, and only because it was Cyrillic. The language of pinko commie bastards.

Rapaire was right.

There, I SAID it. OK???? FINE!

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Layah
Date: 27 Mar 05 - 03:11 PM

некультурный is the word I believe you are looking for. See, three years of Russian comes in useful...almost never...

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Mar 05 - 01:22 PM

Nyet-kulturny, is what I think it was in Russian.

Translated to English -- non-kulturny! :D

Anyway, very poor form.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Mar 05 - 11:25 AM

I think that's "nyakulturny," Amos. At least in the Roman alphabet. I'm too lazy to look up the Cyrillic.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Mar 05 - 09:18 AM

I think Little Hawk should be ashamed of himself; I assume he put on Guest's clothing and re-opened every Shatner thread he could find. This is very non-kulturny behaviour indeed.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 27 Mar 05 - 02:58 AM

I know I had a point to make, until I came on here and read all this bullshit.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Mar 05 - 11:17 PM

Sesquipedalian terminology designed to obfusate and harass! Vague and puerile slander! Unacceptable!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Mar 05 - 11:15 PM

Sheer meretricious gobbledygook, that's what!! Ineluctably mediocre and base-minded. DEE-sgustin', too!


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 26 Mar 05 - 11:05 PM

Ridem' Space Cowboy!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Mar 05 - 10:02 PM

Bill, of course you are still the greatest. Everybody knows that. When I think of how you battled the Gorn in "Arena" with your harvest gold lycra T-shirt torn half off your sweating torso, I get all short of breath. I was recently viewing your rendition of "Rocket Man". Words fail me. Warp 10? Aye, sir!