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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 05 Nov 18 - 07:40 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 04 Nov 18 - 11:54 PM
Rapparee 04 Nov 18 - 10:09 PM
Stilly River Sage 04 Nov 18 - 10:22 AM
Donuel 04 Nov 18 - 08:16 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Nov 18 - 11:01 PM
Donuel 03 Nov 18 - 09:51 PM
Rapparee 03 Nov 18 - 04:30 PM
Stilly River Sage 03 Nov 18 - 02:28 PM
Amos 03 Nov 18 - 11:27 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Nov 18 - 10:40 AM
Donuel 03 Nov 18 - 09:51 AM
Little Hawk 03 Nov 18 - 09:36 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Nov 18 - 10:43 PM
Rapparee 02 Nov 18 - 09:39 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Nov 18 - 06:06 PM
Stilly River Sage 02 Nov 18 - 05:20 PM
Amos 02 Nov 18 - 05:17 PM
gnu 02 Nov 18 - 01:30 PM
Donuel 02 Nov 18 - 10:27 AM
Stilly River Sage 02 Nov 18 - 09:46 AM
Donuel 01 Nov 18 - 09:43 PM
Little Hawk 01 Nov 18 - 09:27 PM
Rapparee 01 Nov 18 - 07:44 PM
Donuel 01 Nov 18 - 06:31 PM
gnu 01 Nov 18 - 05:02 PM
Amos 01 Nov 18 - 11:50 AM
Little Hawk 01 Nov 18 - 11:34 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 01 Nov 18 - 10:19 AM
Little Hawk 31 Oct 18 - 09:09 PM
Rapparee 31 Oct 18 - 07:37 PM
Donuel 31 Oct 18 - 07:08 PM
keberoxu 31 Oct 18 - 06:41 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 31 Oct 18 - 06:07 PM
Amos 31 Oct 18 - 05:16 PM
Little Hawk 30 Oct 18 - 10:18 PM
Rapparee 30 Oct 18 - 09:31 PM
Rapparee 30 Oct 18 - 09:01 AM
Stilly River Sage 29 Oct 18 - 06:47 PM
Amos 29 Oct 18 - 03:41 PM
keberoxu 29 Oct 18 - 01:15 PM
Donuel 28 Oct 18 - 08:11 AM
gnu 27 Oct 18 - 05:59 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 27 Oct 18 - 03:20 PM
Donuel 27 Oct 18 - 12:52 PM
keberoxu 27 Oct 18 - 12:17 PM
Amos 26 Oct 18 - 10:34 PM
keberoxu 26 Oct 18 - 07:23 PM
keberoxu 24 Oct 18 - 06:22 PM
Amos 23 Oct 18 - 10:43 PM

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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Nov 18 - 07:40 PM

I've known some drunken hemorrhoids in my life. Alcohol sodden pains in the south end when you go north. True piles, but discretion forbids me to say of what.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 Nov 18 - 11:54 PM

So Amazon seems to have discovered a link between hemorrhoids and drunk driving. Does law enforcement know about this? Instead of tailing drunks leaving bars at closing time, the cops could just stake out proctologists' offices.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Nov 18 - 10:09 PM

Okaaaay...I was searching for a sitz batch on Amazon and ended up here, the ultimate of the sort, I guess: sitz bath. (No, it was not for me.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 Nov 18 - 10:22 AM

In this part of Texas, planting a trumpet vine is considered as insane as planting kudzu in your neck of the woods. And planting wisteria isn't far behind that. Lovely as they both are, they grow so big, so fast, they tear stuff down under their weight.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 04 Nov 18 - 08:16 AM

In the hierarchy of invasive species
Many starving homes fell to bankrupcies
Our house pumping heat into the sky
A House so lucky neighbors ask why
A big House divided against itself
Small house thats cute as an elf.
Some Houses were never fact based
House producing lots of waste
House hiding flaws under paint
like lies of a legend Saint
House with a problem that could return.
House in the shade with lots of fern

But a house in the sun has more fun

Even when its doused by rain
Some houses feel no pain
Others are betrayed by a louse
But the house to protect a loving spouse

The family lives lifetimes from nest to rest.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Nov 18 - 11:01 PM

I am eternally grateful that our one misguided attempt to grow a patch of bamboo failed. At the time, I didn't know how easily some bamboo varieties can become uncontrollable pests.

So, we don't have bamboo. Instead, we have a bumper crop of Japanese climbing fern, which is only surpassed by kudzu in the hierarchy of invasive nastiness.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 03 Nov 18 - 09:51 PM

That might work on bamboo.

(they're Chinese berries)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Nov 18 - 04:30 PM

Neighbor and I once dug, cut, chemically, and probably salted a vine (name: GODDAMNED VINE). Finally, we dropped a lit highway flare on the and watched it burn -- it didn't come back after that. I guess it felt unwelcome.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 03 Nov 18 - 02:28 PM

BWL - I prodded at the roots with my spade fork and have concluded that I need to put on my steel-toed boots, sharpen the adze side of the mattock, and chop out those suckers. As you say, extreme prejudice. I headed them, but they're not dead yet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Nov 18 - 11:27 AM

I'm all for Musketeers of any stamp. Bathos, not so much, but at least it can sometimes be blamed on some catastrophe or the disruption caused by one misguided Republican individual. Anyway, my personal distaste for the emotional swamps presented by others is not really very important. Making something good happen is a lot more important.

That's why Mom keeps going. Sooner or later her >58,000 bits of flawless literary production will be released on the world and cause an intellectual revolution not seen on Earth since the Enlightenment, or Luther's Ninety-five Theses, or the day Llewellyn W. Thudpucker left his native home.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Nov 18 - 10:40 AM

Don, if the berries are magenta, they're American Beautyberry. If they're blue, they're Chinese Sapphire Berry.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 03 Nov 18 - 09:51 AM

Hey I've got beauty berries but they are more vine like than shrubs.
I was told they are Chinese sapphire berries.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Nov 18 - 09:36 AM

What is the point?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Nov 18 - 10:43 PM

Or of Athos, Aramis, or Porthos, for that matter?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Nov 18 - 09:39 PM

Amos, what is your opinion on bathos?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Nov 18 - 06:06 PM

I'm not sure it's possible to execute a lantana short of totally uprooting it. I call what I do to my lantanas and American Beautyberries "dead-heading with extreme prejudice".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 02 Nov 18 - 05:20 PM

The book went into a new printing after that video went viral.

I executed a lantana hedge in my back yard this afternoon. This is a suitable activity for a fall day. What isn't suitable are the xmas commercials that are turning up NOW on television. And the ornaments and holiday music-playing displays in the stores.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Nov 18 - 05:17 PM

Pathos is NOT funny. No, it's not! Of all the things that are funny in the world, pathos comes in a begrudging last. Apathy and pathos, man. They oughta be taken out and shot, or at least trained.

I've spent too much time fielding raucous noises on FB, and the pathetic inability to see, think, communicate or understand that infests those rivers of babble are just NOT funny. No, they are NOT. I am telling Mom. She'll tell 'em what for.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 Nov 18 - 01:30 PM

You Facebook? Don't miss this.

https://www.facebook.com/TRNDVideos/videos/307939949756278/


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 02 Nov 18 - 10:27 AM

I attended the Rap Seminar on advanced bullshitting. Did you know he was behind the whole Beanie Baby craze?


A good leg will fall; a straight back will stoop; a
black beard will turn white; a full scalp will grow
bald; a fair face will wither; a full eye will wax
hollow: but a good Bull Shit is the sun and the earth.
'his credo'


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 02 Nov 18 - 09:46 AM

That's a show stopper!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 01 Nov 18 - 09:43 PM

My wife who quilts discovered a stain proof fabric so sensually smooth it has inspired a new xmas product. After a few versions I call it the grab bag pussy purse. It is way better than the pussy hats. Many women love idea of leaving their pussy at home while they go about their business and if they have any need of their pussy they just go home and take it out of the drawer. It comes in numerous sizes; camel toe (large) vertical smile (medium) and cutie pie (small). They come in 4 colors and a selection of optional trim or just go naked - for that shaved look. They can be thrown in the wash or for very old ones can be dry cleaned.
Its a delight to hear them snap open and shut.

Target passed but Walmart likes them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Nov 18 - 09:27 PM

I just listened to it, Gary. Good song.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Nov 18 - 07:44 PM

Why ain't LEJ in MOAB?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 01 Nov 18 - 06:31 PM

The voice is as friendly and familiar as family and the song is tiptop shelf. It brought me back 50 years.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 Nov 18 - 05:02 PM

First inscription was : From the get-go you have been there for me, for us, for the forest, for the earth. All my best, Charles.

The inscription on the numbered copy : Keep fighting the good fight Gary. All my best, Charles.

If you are on Facebook and want to understand what is happening (horribly) in our forests, search "NB Forestry Information". Read the 'about'. Same goes for "Frack".

I wrote this song for Charles about five years ago. LEJ did the honours for me (some of you know I lost my ability to play and sing a while back). Please read the first comment.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aaHWhdfn5zY


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Nov 18 - 11:50 AM

Chief among the "deplorables" of the world, with the Chongo cluster following close second.

BTW, whatever happened to Cletus the Hamster? Or is he the explanation for the stench in the basement, stuck behind the wallboarding and rotting?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Nov 18 - 11:34 AM

You dare to refer to the McBrides as "worthless"???? Oh, "Yer in trouble now, eh?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Nov 18 - 10:19 AM

The Wikipedia page for "McBride" links to pages for seven place names, two business enterprises, and three fictional characters (of whom Shane is NOT one). There are no pages for any living McBrides!

I interpret this as an indication of the overall worthlessness of members of the McBride clan in general.

The towns called "McBride" were probably so named as warnings that travelers passing through should take extra precautions to safeguard their valuables.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Oct 18 - 09:09 PM

Sounds like you spotted signs of the McBride clan on your trip, Rap. I hope you got photos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Oct 18 - 07:37 PM

We were driving through the small town of Myopic River, Oregon when I saw a store called "McBride's Insulation." The sign on the door read, "Shane McBride, Owner/Foundered [sic] 1926." The rust-decorated pickup out front had bumper stickers with such things as "Gas-Grass-Ass/Nobody Rides Free", "CALL ME! 1-800-BIG-STUD", and "We Have No Shame Here" on them. I have no idea what it was all about; the town was only 423 people according to the sign at the town line. I cannot conceive of THE Shame's relatives crossing the plains in a wagon or coming by boat except as stowaways or surviving the vigilantes if they did make it.

In another town there was a historical marker for "Rutledge's Hotel." Apparently it was a rooming house for working women and was run by a woman from England. It closed in 1957.
I think that was in Malchance.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 31 Oct 18 - 07:08 PM

I was startin t'worry. With the caravans of MS 13, Small Pox, Leprosy and all. I've had pre existing renditions.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 31 Oct 18 - 06:41 PM

Talking of Blind River,
I was driving near the Providence Rhode Island airport yesterday,
that would be West Warwick rather than Providence as such,
and went past a storefront
with a big sign that read
SHANE'S AWARDS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Oct 18 - 06:07 PM

Truly, if the need to purchase a new car should arise again during my lifetime, I shall make it a point to consider the sound produced by opening the door with the remote fob as part of my prepurchase evaluation. Randolph Scott would never have owned a car that went "plip" when its door was unlocked.

It harkens back to the complaint I had with telephones back in the landline days. There was no way to hear their ringtones before buying. It was only when the first call came in that you discovered you had purchased something that sounded like an anemic cricket with laryngitis.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Oct 18 - 05:16 PM

And those sodden good for nothings outta Blind River remember you and yearn for their revenge because you won the heart of Officer Cupcake, when they wanted it.

As for plipping and chunking, Sir WL, that is entirely too much information. Chunk your own if you have to but keep it to yourself!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Oct 18 - 10:18 PM

Chongo remembers you! Not fondly, perhaps, but he does remember you. Kind of like how I remember that really bad toothache I had back in 1958.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Oct 18 - 09:31 PM

Ignored. Unrecognized. I explore the mighty Columbia River and do many other deeds both thrilling and courageous and am yet ignored.

I'd leap off the bridge and end it all in the Portneuf River except that it ain't all that deep and I might sprain an ankle and could even get my socks wet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Oct 18 - 09:01 AM

Once there was a MOABite famous,
Quite famous for deeds, for singing and rhyme,
Quiet and shy, and quite a bit humble,
He quietly screamed, " I'M BACK!!!!
and about time!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 29 Oct 18 - 06:47 PM

I heard "Gary" and a few words I knew, and recognize "roman." Like he said in the text below, "ce roman est pour vous!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Oct 18 - 03:41 PM

It was the sound hoofbeats,
Hoofbeats on the cobbled street
Ringing ever louder
That made the bold Rapaire retreat.

He'd heard the deaths of bandits
Of bandits drawn and quartered
Often glorified in song
ANd he nearly lost his water.

He put up his sword and pistol
An old pistol,black and long
And he headed for the basement stairs
And dragged his Mom along.

They quailed down in that basement
The moldy basement, dank and cold
Flinching from those hoofbeats
And feeling frail, and old.

So ends the glorious story
Highwayman's story, rich with lies
Hiding in a dingy basement
From hoofbeats which never quite go by.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 29 Oct 18 - 01:15 PM

Come on upstairs, MOM,
the basement is no place for you to hang about in.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 28 Oct 18 - 08:11 AM

My French is utterly weak but I loved hearing him speak


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 Oct 18 - 05:59 PM

Got a second copy of the English version from one of my heroes, Charles Theriault. Unexpected. Numbered. #2. He sent me #2!!! Brought tears to my eyes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8dfBDRzpdI


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Oct 18 - 03:20 PM

Hi, Mom!

I thought of something brilliant and compelling to post here earlier today, but I got busy with other things and totally forgot what it was.

So, I'll just post something else (using Mom's privileged private posting protocol):

"Something Else"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 27 Oct 18 - 12:52 PM

I was last in line when they dispensed smart
So in consolation I was given a talent to see beyond and around corners
Now there is nothing left to warn about and my talent is worn out
The future will be read as history and the warnings are a waste.
All good things must end and the gifts will be swallowed by rifts.
As more move from aspiational to operational friends will be set adrift
It was not the best way to touch lives but it was my way.
The time to go has now arrived I told you so now I must go away.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 27 Oct 18 - 12:17 PM

Glad to see Amos feeling so much more like his old self.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Oct 18 - 10:34 PM

Said Rapparree to his better half
My life is just a constant gaff
Whether I post north or south,
My foot ends up within my mouth!
I post on Facebook, though it's lame
But the result is still the same!
Oh, what will make these posts behave
And bring me the glory that I crave!?

Said his BEtter Half to Rapparree
Dear lad, it's simple as can be
To save your name from posts that fall
'is better not to post at all!
Then none will know, when round they come
If you are wise or you are dumb!
They won't know what to make of you
If you desist from dropping clues.

And so, dear man, I'll tell you what
Just keep your mouth and your keyboard shut!
And everyone will soon agree
"That Rapp's as smart as smart can be".
Just take this wise advice from me
And none with you will disagree!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 26 Oct 18 - 07:23 PM

And again.
Rapparee and his better half need their vacation after all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 24 Oct 18 - 06:22 PM

Easing MOM to the top of the queue again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Oct 18 - 10:43 PM

WHere would Mom be without her Guardian Angel? :D

I just did another well-received Open Mic poetry gig and a song performance. Lo and behold, some old timer in the back asked for "The Golden Vanity", and of course he was immediately obliged.

Now I am going to retire AGAIN, which gets tedious but seems to be a regular requirement of this vie en viand. Life in Meat Alley. An Uber driver for the brain of a seeing-eye dog or something. :D

Blessings on Mom and all her ilk and kith!


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