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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 19 Aug 18 - 12:57 AM
Rapparee 18 Aug 18 - 10:26 PM
Donuel 17 Aug 18 - 10:13 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 17 Aug 18 - 06:29 PM
keberoxu 17 Aug 18 - 06:06 PM
Amos 17 Aug 18 - 05:53 PM
Little Hawk 17 Aug 18 - 04:56 PM
Donuel 17 Aug 18 - 02:17 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 17 Aug 18 - 02:08 PM
Little Hawk 17 Aug 18 - 12:26 PM
Rapparee 16 Aug 18 - 08:48 PM
Little Hawk 16 Aug 18 - 12:39 AM
Rapparee 15 Aug 18 - 10:41 PM
Little Hawk 15 Aug 18 - 10:35 PM
Rapparee 15 Aug 18 - 09:56 PM
Donuel 15 Aug 18 - 08:33 PM
Stilly River Sage 15 Aug 18 - 03:20 PM
Rapparee 15 Aug 18 - 01:22 PM
Little Hawk 15 Aug 18 - 09:35 AM
Rapparee 14 Aug 18 - 10:54 PM
Donuel 14 Aug 18 - 04:24 PM
keberoxu 14 Aug 18 - 01:22 PM
Little Hawk 13 Aug 18 - 11:58 PM
Amos 13 Aug 18 - 10:02 PM
Rapparee 13 Aug 18 - 09:10 PM
keberoxu 13 Aug 18 - 04:50 PM
Little Hawk 12 Aug 18 - 05:14 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 Aug 18 - 03:44 PM
Stilly River Sage 12 Aug 18 - 02:06 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 Aug 18 - 11:54 AM
Stilly River Sage 12 Aug 18 - 09:38 AM
Donuel 12 Aug 18 - 09:22 AM
Rapparee 11 Aug 18 - 09:39 PM
Little Hawk 11 Aug 18 - 03:31 PM
Amos 11 Aug 18 - 03:21 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Aug 18 - 02:00 PM
wysiwyg 11 Aug 18 - 12:00 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Aug 18 - 11:44 AM
Rapparee 10 Aug 18 - 09:25 PM
keberoxu 10 Aug 18 - 06:14 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Aug 18 - 05:42 PM
Little Hawk 10 Aug 18 - 05:20 PM
Donuel 10 Aug 18 - 02:57 PM
Little Hawk 10 Aug 18 - 02:54 PM
Donuel 10 Aug 18 - 10:22 AM
Donuel 10 Aug 18 - 08:27 AM
Rapparee 09 Aug 18 - 11:02 PM
gnu 09 Aug 18 - 02:03 PM
Donuel 09 Aug 18 - 07:13 AM
Stilly River Sage 08 Aug 18 - 10:10 PM

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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Aug 18 - 12:57 AM

Ah, yes...good point there. It's not a good idea to let Hector Ballsworthy know about anything at all if you don't want it splashed all over the very worst of the British press.

I think you have shown good judgement in this case.

He, by the way, accuses others of being "reptilians", but you are implying that he is one himself! That is most intriguing. You might be onto something there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Aug 18 - 10:26 PM

Amos, I fail to see why my "claim" is problematic. I don't even know what "claim" you are talking about. If it's the one up in the Bitterroots you should know that it's panning out pretty darn good -- gold and silver both assay out in very minable quantities. The one down in the Uintas does pretty well for copper, and the one down in the Mongolon Rim runs okay (but not great) for uranium. I've got another up near the Montana border I'm hoping will work out for diamonds, but since it's not ready for announcement yet I'm keeping a lid on where it is exactly. But all the claims are properly registered and if I catch any claim jumpers, well, half-inch hemp or 405 grains of lead are pretty good problem solvers. But drop around when you're feeling up to it and I'll even let you, you old hard rock miner, blow a few charges.

LH, the reason I haven't mentioned "Bad Penny" Rutledge and Corridus is because I haven't wanted to let whats-his-name, that oily reptilian reporter -- Ballsworthy! that's it -- find out about the happy couple's nuptials.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 17 Aug 18 - 10:13 PM

Todays date, tomorrow's date and the day after on Sunday are all palindromes backwards and forwards. anyone else feel backwards time rushing toward our position rushing into the future? I didn't think so.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Aug 18 - 06:29 PM

It really doesn't matter if a man wears briefs or boxers, but he must make a choice between the two. It is never a good idea to have briefs and boxers in the same drawer. The boxers will get jealous and stage a boxer rebellion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 17 Aug 18 - 06:06 PM

Amos, you must be feeling considerably better today!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Aug 18 - 05:53 PM

Rapparree: If your brand of personality is duplicable by boxers overdue for laundering, well, it just raises serious and grave questions about the legitimacy of your own claim to having one, if you see what I mean...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Aug 18 - 04:56 PM

Oh, my! That is just marvelous. And quite accurate.

I'll be sure to credit you for it when the new TV show about Shane and Blind River gets launched.

Thank you so much. This will definitely be used.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 17 Aug 18 - 02:17 PM

Blasphemous !          and good.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Aug 18 - 02:08 PM

♬♬♬♬♬♬♬♬♬♬♬♬♬♬


(To the tune of "If I Only Had a Brain")

A HOSER BOY NAMED SHANE

Oh, he lives up in Blind River
Where he petrifies his liver
And marinates his brain
His hygiene is not the cleanest
And he has a tiny penis
He's a hoser boy named Shane

He's a doper and a boozer
A moron and a loser
A certified shit-stain
When he last bathed there's no telling
And his feet are awful smelling
He's a hoser boy named Shane

Oh, he can tell you how to get to the liquor store
And where there are some pills that you can score
Or anything
Else you'd care for

He is an abomination
Who porn and masturbation
Have driven quite insane
And we cannot get rid of him
Though nobody seems to love him
He's a hoser boy named Shane


♬♬♬♬♬♬♬♬♬♬♬♬♬♬


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Aug 18 - 12:26 PM

What surprises me is that you have not also dragged Penelope Rutledge and Corridus the Hamster into these puerile, slanderous, utterly imaginary sex stories you tell about Shane and Chongo.

Have you no shame?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Aug 18 - 08:48 PM

Shame is quite fluent in Chimp. He communicates well with Chongx: "Ook, ook, ook" (translation: "Ook, ook, ook"). The hidden meaning is "Oh, you big stud!" and further statement of meaning is prohibited by the Obscene Materials Act.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Aug 18 - 12:39 AM

Shane is proud to have mastered only one language. Well, perhaps "mastered" is not quite the right word for it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Aug 18 - 10:41 PM

Israel. Mexico. And he also taught me how to say it in Russian, but I've forgotten.

Not that I was going to those places. He just wanted to show off his fluency in Hebrew, Russian, and Spanish. Later he also spoke fluent Vietnamese and "street" Japanese (Japanese language professor: "You speak Japanese like a pimp"), some Thai, Korean, Tagalog, and Mandarin.

Me, I only speak English (sort of), a teeny bit of Spanish, French, and German, and I'm really fluent in Profane, Obscene, and Blasphemous.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Aug 18 - 10:35 PM

Where did he think you were going?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Aug 18 - 09:56 PM

Probably shouldn't mention it, but if his underwear stuck to the wall my brother thought he'd had a successful date.

This is the same brother who taught me how to say "I hunger for your body" in both Spanish and Hebrew.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 15 Aug 18 - 08:33 PM

When the puissant BS underwear has a sufficient poo it will indeed stick to the wall when thrown.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 15 Aug 18 - 03:20 PM

Bless his heart!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Aug 18 - 01:22 PM

Well, I'll be!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Aug 18 - 09:35 AM

It is difficult to appear puissant when behaving in a manner that can only be described as jejune, prompting one to say things like "I swan!" as an indication of both surprise and mild disapproval, tempered with a dash of ennui just to give it that special je ne sais qois, to say nothing of a sprinkling of piquant joie de vivre.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Aug 18 - 10:54 PM

You callin' me a puissant, Amos? Huh? Are ya?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Aug 18 - 04:24 PM

LH its only a matter of 'it didn't happen to you'.
It could have happened to me if I were literate at the time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 14 Aug 18 - 01:22 PM

Author Doug Peacock, when he was a Green Beret in Vietnam,
had maps of the American West.
He vowed to go there once he got back home ...
and eventually he did.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Aug 18 - 11:58 PM

There are a number of things about Rap that are a little unsettling.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 18 - 10:02 PM

Wellll, and he WAS strange, too, but not for the reasons they might have coulda thunk. The idea of Rapp's boxers developing independent personalities is a little unsettling. Is he out of laundry detergent or something? No matter HOW the stains got there, I mean, they shouldn't be THAT puissant!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Aug 18 - 09:10 PM

When my brother was in Vietnam, when everyone else had pictures from Playboy in their lockers, he had a picture of his Irish setter. That was the only picture he had. If they didn't know him the company would have thought he was strange.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 13 Aug 18 - 04:50 PM

I remember living in a time and a place
with a well-trained rescue dog
that would do exactly that.
She had been dumped by the side of the road
and she knew how privileged and fortunate she was.
She was gratitude and grace personified

-- except when she simply had to bark,
and then she was simply a beagle mix.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Aug 18 - 05:14 PM

That is exactly the life every dog wants.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Aug 18 - 03:44 PM

No, I do not walk Gluon. I treat Gluon the same as my own dog: let him/her/it have an unencumbered morning romp, trust that he/she/it will come home in an hour or so, have water hose and soap handy in case he/she/it has an encounter with a particularly ripe pile of deer guts.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 12 Aug 18 - 02:06 PM

Don't YOU walk Gluon?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Aug 18 - 11:54 AM

Wait! You mean Acme adopted a new dog and actually named it Gluon? Stupendous!

Has this information been previously shared on the MOAB? Why was I not aware of it? Perhaps I need to replace my consciousness sieve with one of a finer mesh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 12 Aug 18 - 09:38 AM

MOM, last Friday I turned in a short, curt, and slightly rude if they think about it, resignation. I'm retiring after Aug. 31, and while I'm looking for another job I'll work closer to home (commuting sucks) and I'll have more time to walk Gluon. I need to get a reinforced full-body (for me) leash because when she tugs on the leash she can take your arm off.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 12 Aug 18 - 09:22 AM

Decades ago
When my vocabulary was suffering I would sometimes use a word I was unsure of in a post to Amos and judge its impact by his reaction.
Nowadays half the time I go without any spell check, thesaurus or dictionary. Out living migraine pain has alleviated most dyslexic deficits.
This anecdote opposes the claim that there is no 'cure' for dys, dat or de other lexis out there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Aug 18 - 09:39 PM

Well, playing in shady, smoke-filled dives was always Amos' forte. A poor, broke, folksinger trying to keep body and soul together, cadging drinks, passing the hat, having his chauffeur drive him home in his Rolls Silver Cloud. At least he seems to be getting better.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Aug 18 - 03:31 PM

The prodigal son returns! I'm glad to hear you are on the mend.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Aug 18 - 03:21 PM

Wonderful streams of top-drawer BS, thanks to Mom's loyal sibs! Thanks to all of you for keeping the faith. I drip apology for my absence. I am continuing to regain strength. And play in shady bars in dark corners of Alamance and Orange Counties. Dodging thunderstorms and hurricanes en route, too! Life is much livelier on the weather front than it was in that sleepy Navy town, San Diego. I miss the ocean but am thrilled with the highs and lows of the weather systems that come prancing into our little valley here and ten leave.

Excelsior!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Aug 18 - 02:00 PM

The only one of Mom's children who is actually dimensexual is Gluon the Cosmic Duckdog. He/she/it is perfectly capable of having sex in several dimensions at the same time. With several partners... Of several genders...

His/her/its only stipulation is that partners must be carbon-based life-forms. That one experience with a silicon-based partner (aka a rock) was too traumatic to be attempted a second time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: wysiwyg
Date: 11 Aug 18 - 12:00 PM

Oh dear... I misread a word in Donuel's post as "dimensexual".
Hmmmmmm. ....

~S~


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Aug 18 - 11:44 AM

Hi, Mom!

There's a six-foot gray rat snake who visits our house occasionally. That's about as long as gray rat snakes get. I have named him Henry Wadsworth, because he's such a long fellow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Aug 18 - 09:25 PM

I don't think she tastes the water.

I don't understand why my name should be "Jules Clarke." It would like calling me "Phillip K. Heinlein" or "Isaac Silverberg" or "Hal Van Vogt." My Foundation series, along with my Lensman series, are still read.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 10 Aug 18 - 06:14 PM

. . . . but, Acme,
about the toad in the dogs' water dish:

I understand that the toad is left alone by the dogs.
But the water in the dish --
does the water taste like surly-teenager toad after the toad climbs out?
do the dogs find the water too distasteful to drink afterwards??


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Aug 18 - 05:42 PM

Unlike most of us, Shane doesn't care if his beer is natural or synthetic.

A few freshly brewed toxic polymer chains gives beer a unique flavor and greatly enhances the morning after's headaches and nausea.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Aug 18 - 05:20 PM

Incredible!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 10 Aug 18 - 02:57 PM

What a coincidence the dimensionals sythesized my teeth and fixed my beer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Aug 18 - 02:54 PM

I like it. Shane has those sort of talks with the Greys, and he gets quite puzzled too, but he doesn't mind as long as they synthesize beer for him and fix his teeth.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 10 Aug 18 - 10:22 AM

In the spirit of the phenomenal works by Rap here is an excerpt from my "Psychic Agony"

Don: While agonal breathing, "Where am I?"
What do you see?
I dunno I dunno I ..huff huff, I dunno Am I dead?
Not as you understand it. Do you fear death?
No
Do you fear living?
What are you?
Nothing you can understand
What the fuck do you want?
We are very curious about your kind and your experienc in time.
Thats all this is?
It is a curiosity to us
Huff huff The problem is...
We would like to understand, linear time seems so impractical a state of being. To learn is a tediously slow process, each generation it begins anew. A laborious cycle of empty promise except for writtings. It banishes mankind to the torment of ignorance except for a few. Forever a child in the dark. How curious to punish a creature so malevolently destined to relearn pain for an eternity. How painful it must be to posess self awareness and consciousness as you do, trapped in a lower dimension as you are.
Jesus Christ what do you want from me, why did you choose me!
Choose?
Yeah.
Why did you choose to decrypt our message?
What message?
You decided to study that there are dimensional people and linear people. We do not understand decision, we exist in one single moment we can change forever. One blink. A speck of instantinaity. We understand everything there is in our world so causality, probability and consequence are a mystery to us.
Consequence does not exist in your time?
If mankind experinced time as we do in our dimension would he be mankind? If the cracks of time were filled and mankind had no place left to hide, what then?
Huh huh I dunno I don't even know what the fuck you mean.
You are like a recordimg, we are like the recorder that can add or delete. Your end is fixed. Ther is only one certainty for man, death. It always ends with death. What happens when man can end no more.

Maybe become you?
Is that something you like?
I can't exist here, its making me sick...its killing me.
You hide from your inevitability. The more time man has the more it takes from him, youth energy, power. Your existnce comes from unknown suffering. Time determines all for man. Time for man is a gift and a thief.

What is it like,,,short of breath,,, in your world?
You can not understand.
If you can bridge dimensions you sure the hell can explain it to me. You know things about us and the universe, tell me. You can try

If you are seeking answers to alter your understanding of reality will that not make your world a projection rather than a perception. What is the actuality you look for. Is it something you think you can see and feel. Ir reality is a projection to you hat happens when the source of your consciousness is absent. Man can not tell the difference between actuality and illusion. Every man born creates a new reality , all competing for a sense of actuality. Perhaps this is why man is at odds, perpetually in conflict
, so divided.
Stop Stop
Am I the only one you are doing this to.
WWWWould you feel better if you weren't.
I just don't want to suffer
What if you can return to a moment you consider to be your non suffering past
I...I...I

Reality dissolves into an episode of the reality show Apprentice.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 10 Aug 18 - 08:27 AM

Is your nom d'plume Jules Clarke?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Aug 18 - 11:02 PM

I have several books out there: "From the Earth to the Moon and a Trip Around It," "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea," "Childhood's End," and several others. They sold well and a few have been in print for years.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Aug 18 - 02:03 PM

"dirty magazines"? Like Farming In The Maritimes? Gardeners' Weekly?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 09 Aug 18 - 07:13 AM

Is this the companion book of Bimbos of the Death Sun Rap?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 08 Aug 18 - 10:10 PM

Two hot dogs are panting and chilling on the tile floor beside me in my office after *kindof* taking turns fetching a few times in the back yard. There's a toad at the edge of the dark patio waiting for the dogs to stop drinking out of their dutch oven water pan so it can climb in to chill. This guy has been doing this for about three years and doesn't flee when any of us comes by. Sometimes it just stays put, other times it climbs slowly out with movements resembling those of a surly teenager. The dogs ignore it because they know toads taste bad.


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