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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 04 Jun 09 - 01:58 PM
Amos 04 Jun 09 - 12:07 PM
Amos 04 Jun 09 - 11:33 AM
Rapparee 04 Jun 09 - 11:30 AM
Amos 04 Jun 09 - 10:47 AM
Amos 04 Jun 09 - 10:22 AM
Acme 04 Jun 09 - 10:21 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 04 Jun 09 - 09:45 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 04 Jun 09 - 09:44 AM
Rapparee 04 Jun 09 - 09:23 AM
Rapparee 04 Jun 09 - 09:16 AM
Little Hawk 04 Jun 09 - 01:05 AM
Janie 04 Jun 09 - 12:47 AM
Little Hawk 04 Jun 09 - 12:38 AM
Amos 04 Jun 09 - 12:17 AM
Janie 03 Jun 09 - 11:08 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Jun 09 - 09:57 PM
Rapparee 03 Jun 09 - 09:38 PM
Rapparee 03 Jun 09 - 08:19 PM
Amos 03 Jun 09 - 07:43 PM
Acme 03 Jun 09 - 07:00 PM
Rapparee 03 Jun 09 - 05:12 PM
Amos 03 Jun 09 - 03:39 PM
Amos 03 Jun 09 - 02:23 PM
Rapparee 03 Jun 09 - 02:19 PM
Amos 03 Jun 09 - 01:38 PM
Rapparee 03 Jun 09 - 01:30 PM
Amos 03 Jun 09 - 01:23 PM
Amos 03 Jun 09 - 01:02 PM
Little Hawk 03 Jun 09 - 12:36 PM
Amos 03 Jun 09 - 11:48 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Jun 09 - 10:44 AM
Amos 03 Jun 09 - 09:29 AM
MMario 03 Jun 09 - 08:42 AM
Amos 03 Jun 09 - 01:50 AM
Acme 02 Jun 09 - 11:31 PM
Rapparee 02 Jun 09 - 10:47 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Jun 09 - 07:34 PM
Acme 02 Jun 09 - 06:36 PM
Rapparee 02 Jun 09 - 06:29 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Jun 09 - 06:06 PM
Little Hawk 02 Jun 09 - 05:37 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Jun 09 - 05:14 PM
Acme 02 Jun 09 - 05:07 PM
Acme 02 Jun 09 - 04:46 PM
Amos 02 Jun 09 - 04:20 PM
Rapparee 02 Jun 09 - 04:13 PM
Acme 02 Jun 09 - 01:16 PM
Little Hawk 02 Jun 09 - 01:03 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Jun 09 - 12:09 PM

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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jun 09 - 01:58 PM

Those Phillipine Tarsiers have got to be about the cutest thing going. They look much too gentle to be useful in accomplishing Amos's demise.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jun 09 - 12:07 PM

IF you insist, sir, on being dumbfounded by simple typographical errors, perhaps you should find other employment. I understand Walmart is looking for Senior Greeters in your area...

Or, if you are feeling more adventurous, there are a number of Nigerian banks, princes, widows of millionaires, and mega-wealthy heirs who seem to be at loose ends figuring out how to dsipose of large numbers of millions of dollars. You may just be the right person at the right time...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jun 09 - 11:33 AM

Oh Thirty K, I hear you calling!
Away, you thirty thousand!
Where Little Hawk and Rapaire are squalling,
Away, we're bound away
Along to the thirty thousand.

The old MOAB, she's a mighty mother!
Away, you thirty thousand!
Where posters bother one another,
Away, we're bound away
I'm bound for thirty thousand.

Oh MOAB, discipline your daughters!
Away, you thirty thousand!
They never mind you as they oughter!
Away, we're bound away
We are bound for thirty thousand.

Oh, MOAB, put your sons to working!
Away, you thirty thousand!
They're as uselss as a broke-down gherkin!
Away, we're bound away
We are bound for thirty thousand.

Oh, MOAB, put away your hulas!
Away, you thirty thousand!
Your remote controls, and your old spaTUlas,
Away, we're bound away
We are bound for thirty thousand.

Oh, MOAB, sure I love your daughters!
Away, you thirty thousand!
They heat my brain like fire-water!
Away, we're bound away
We are bound for thirty thousand.


Collected from the singing of "Uncertain Angel" Harridan of Antimaya, Wisconsin, in the field surveys of "High Max" Alain O'Dale
Deeper Truth Recordings, Knoxville, 1949


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jun 09 - 11:30 AM

Sod oing? Is that like the guy who yelled to his friend, "Watcha doin'?" and the friend replied "Laying sod" to which the first guy said, "She got a sister?" Or is it a comment similar to "Sod off!"? Perhaps if I know who oing was....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jun 09 - 10:47 AM

Mawmag don't allow no banana peeling round here!
Mawmag don't allow no banana peeling round here!
We don't care what Mawmag don't allow
We'll peel our bananas anyhow.
Mawmag don't allow no banana peeling round here!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jun 09 - 10:22 AM

Oh, Rapaire, you are so fatuous and glib. The synchrony of cellular/morphological and molecular signaling events is interesting enough, but has nothing to do with the subject of this thread.

I suggest you start a new thread entitled "The synchrony of cellular/morphological and molecular signaling events and its IMpact on Folk Music"; you will surely get all the attention you yearn for by sod oing.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Jun 09 - 10:21 AM

I believe, LH, that those creatures peering up at Amos are the Tarsius syrichta.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 Jun 09 - 09:45 AM

until Mom hits the BIG Three-Oh!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 Jun 09 - 09:44 AM

A mere 500 posts to go...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jun 09 - 09:23 AM

(By the way, Amos -- there's a nice discussion of stochastic event synchrony here.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jun 09 - 09:16 AM

Those with cognitive impairment need all the sleepy-time they can get. Otherwise they're grouchy and over-tired the next day. My studies allow me to state this without fear of any reasonable or intelligent contradiction.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jun 09 - 01:05 AM

Not to worry! I am just engaging in the usual silly banter that goes back and forth between me and Amos and Rapaire. I envision Amos's ultimate fate involving a plunge from a high wire into a pit filled with ravenous rodents of some kind. Rats? Shrews? Hamsters? I can't quite make them out but there are a lot of beady little eyes gazing upward in anticipation, that's for sure.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 04 Jun 09 - 12:47 AM

Now LH, "Don't lie, it's not nice...."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jun 09 - 12:38 AM

Actually, your fate and karma are considerably worse than that, Amos, but I shan't elaborate. It might cause you some sleepless nights, and I wouldn't want that to happen.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jun 09 - 12:17 AM

I suppose it is my fate and karma to inherit such a rambunctious flood of unctuous condescension cloaked in rambling irrelevancy disguised as a proposition, sirrah!! For this I take full responsibility. But to blithely scrabble the works of others' labour and splice and parse them as mere ammunition in such a garrulous perfidy is scarcely respectable, and lends no credence to your imaginary aspirations to excellence in any dimension.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 03 Jun 09 - 11:08 PM

If Rapaire is the point, then we can say with absolute certainty that there is no point.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Jun 09 - 09:57 PM

I had one of them gognitive impairment things for a while. Had some cogs that was meant to mesh in pairs, but I couldn't get 'em to do it to save my life. Took that sucker back to Sears and got my money back.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jun 09 - 09:38 PM

I may have slightly misled Amos a little bit. I was using him to test a technique best explained by its abstract:

Stochastic event synchrony is a technique to quantify the similarity of pairs of signals. First, events are extracted from the two given time series. Next, one tries to align events from one time series with events from the other. The better the alignment, the more similar the two time series are considered to be. In Part I, the companion article in this issue, one-dimensional events are considered; this article concerns multidimensional events. Although the basic idea is similar, the extension to multidimensional point processes involves a significantly more difficult combinatorial problem and therefore is nontrivial.

Also, in the multidimensional process, the problem of jointly computing the pairwise alignment and SES parameters is cast as a statistical inference problem. This problem is solved by coordinate descent, more specifically, by alternating the following two steps: (1) estimate the SES parameters from a given pairwise alignment; (2) with the resulting estimates, refine the pairwise alignment. The SES parameters are computed by maximum a posteriori (MAP) estimation (step 1), in analogy to the one-dimensional case. The pairwise alignment (step 2) can no longer be obtained through dynamic programming, since the state space becomes too large. Instead it is determined by applying the max-product algorithm on a cyclic graphical model.

In order to test the robustness and reliability of the SES method, it is first applied to surrogate data. Next, it is applied to detect anomalies in EEG synchrony of mild cognitive impairment (MCI) patients. Numerical results suggest that SES is significantly more sensitive to perturbations in EEG synchrony than a large variety of classical synchrony measures.


I hope that he doesn't mind, but the phrase "mild cognitive impairment" of course immediately suggested him. My research, however, clearly demonstrates that I was in error, as his cognitive impairment is anything but mild.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jun 09 - 08:19 PM

A point 0-dimensional mathematical object, which can be specified in n-dimensional space using n coordinates. Although the notion of a point is intuitively rather clear, the mathematical machinery used to deal with points and point-like objects can be surprisingly slippery. This difficulty was encountered by none other than Euclid himself who, in his Elements, gave the vague definition of a point as "that which has no part."

The basic geometric structures of higher dimensional geometry--the line, plane, space, and hyperspace--are all built up of infinite numbers of points arranged in particular ways.

These facts lead to the mathematical pun, "without geometry, life is pointless."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jun 09 - 07:43 PM

MWahahahaha!! ALL things? It must be some tiny point indeed. The number of things to be measured in the sub-nanometer range, just for example, exceeds those of normal 1-100 meter scales by several orders of magnitude, even when you count broken guitar strings.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Jun 09 - 07:00 PM

Contrary to the Kubla Khan knockoff, one NEEDS a brain to enter here. Functional levels may vary, however.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jun 09 - 05:12 PM

I'm the point against with all things are measured.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jun 09 - 03:39 PM

THe universe prolly comes crashing in around yer ears...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jun 09 - 02:23 PM

What happens if you decide to move the point?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jun 09 - 02:19 PM

Actually it's non-dimensional. I exist only as a point.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jun 09 - 01:38 PM

That's not a point of view--it's a state of obsessive self-absorption. In your case, however, these two values may approach each other asymptotically.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jun 09 - 01:30 PM

From my point of view everything is one dimensional.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jun 09 - 01:23 PM

The olgs crawl in, the olgs crawl out
They leave their residue all about,
They hide inside the parlor walls,
And fuck up everything.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jun 09 - 01:02 PM

Far in the distant deserts of the Mudcat tribe,
A towering pleasure-dome was made,
With topics higher than the palms are high,
And posts of beauty writ, all unafraid;

Here there was art, and truth, and wit ran free,
Behind a towering golden portal tall,
And nothing writ therein was dull or twee,
And never a post was flat, nor subject, small.

Here there were poets making music in their lines
Here were philosophers who knew not Fear.
And on that portal high, this legend warned each mind:
Abandon All Brains, oh Ye Who Enter Here.

Ozzie Manjus King
Wet Wit in a Dry Place
Corinthians Publications, Oshkosh, 2001


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Jun 09 - 12:36 PM

Oh, don't you read that thread!
That Saggy Baggy Thread!
You know that thread is causing such a pain!
And if you read that thread!
That Saggy Baggy Thread!
It just might make me lose my brain!

Etc....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jun 09 - 11:48 AM

Seriously, folks, flatness is an interesting variation on dimensionality in general and an exception to the archetypal pattern of space generating as far as the "I" can see; this is why theuniverse is expanding--because people keep looking.

But with flatness, your dimensionality bounces back on you, and a series of pointillist rebukes, informing you that you must not see through this plane, comes zooming back at you from every point of the surface. THis can feel very frustrating and unnacheral. Nevertheless, it is just a variation on the ancient theme of having a point of view and deciding, therefore, to have something to view therefrom. The fundamentals still apply, as Space goes by.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Jun 09 - 10:44 AM

Poor ol' Mom, she has a post
That's pale as Casper the Friendly Ghost
But Amos thinks that he's the man
Can turn that post a shade of tan
Just like brown gravy from a can
Poured on an overdone pot roast


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jun 09 - 09:29 AM

Saggy baggy thread!! Git on up witchoo or I'll tan your post!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 03 Jun 09 - 08:42 AM

MOM! Wake UP!

You fell asleep watching TV again, didn't you?

Have a nice warm raspberry muffin. And some tea.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jun 09 - 01:50 AM

This discussion has a flattop. WHich is different from a tin can.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Jun 09 - 11:31 PM

Dimension? I don't know--you're flat out of time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jun 09 - 10:47 PM

But in what dimensionality?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Jun 09 - 07:34 PM

Okay, a wall can be flat, meaning "smooth and even", yet vertical.

But a floor can be flat, meaning "smooth and even", and flat, meaning "horizontally level. So, a floor could be said to be twice as flat as a wall.

But if one were to paint the wall with flat wall paint, the wall would then be just as flat as the floor.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Jun 09 - 06:36 PM

Draw your own bills and send them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jun 09 - 06:29 PM

Zimbabwayan. LH won't know the difference.

However...if you, LH, knew anything about dimensional geometry you'd realize that from a perspective of less than or more than three dimensions your argument regarding horizonality falls flat.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Jun 09 - 06:06 PM

Is that $20 Canadian or US?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jun 09 - 05:37 PM

Flat can be horizontal, Bee-dub, but it doesn't have to be. A wall is flat, yet it is also vertical. A leaning board is flat, yet it is leaning between the horizontal and vertical. Now that I have you wriggling in the grip of irrefutable logic, I think it is time to offer you a chance to purchase a way out of the humiliating spot you are in. ;-) I will accept unmarked bills in denominations over $20 to allow you to slink away without further embarrassment...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Jun 09 - 05:14 PM

Sorry, but neither I nor dictionary.com buy the "'flat' is not synonomous with 'horizontal'" argument.

Here's their definition of "flat"

1.horizontally level: a flat roof.
2.level, even, or without unevenness of surface, as land or tabletops.
3.having a surface that is without marked projections or depressions: a broad, flat face.
4.lying horizontally and at full length, as a person; prostrate: He was flat on the canvas after the knockdown.
5.lying wholly on or against something: The banner was flat against the wall.
6.thrown down, laid low, or level with the ground, as fallen trees or buildings.
7.having a generally level shape or appearance; not deep or thick: a flat plate.
8.(of the heel of a shoe) low and broad.
9.spread out, as an unrolled map or the open hand.
10.deflated; collapsed: a flat tire.
11.absolute, downright, or positive; without qualification: a flat denial.
12.without modification or variation: a flat rate.
13.Informal. lacking money; broke.
14.without vitality or animation; lifeless; dull: flat writing.
15.having lost its flavor, sharpness, or life, as wine or food; stale.
16.(of a beverage) having lost its effervescence.
17.without flavor; not spiced: flat cooking.
18.prosaic, banal, or insipid: a flat style.
19.pointless, as a remark or joke.
20.commercially inactive: a flat day in the stock market.
21.(of a painting) not having the illusion of volume or depth.
22.(of a photograph or painting) lacking contrast or gradations of tone or color.
23.(of paint) without gloss; not shiny; mat.
24.not clear, sharp, or ringing, as sound or a voice.
25.lacking resonance and variation in pitch; monotonous: a flat delivery of the speech.
26.Music.
a.(of a tone) lowered a half step in pitch: B flat.
b.below an intended pitch, as a note; too low (opposed to sharp ).
27.Grammar. derived without change in form, as English to brush from the noun brush and adverbs that do not add -ly to the adjective form as fast, cheap, and slow.
28.Phonetics. lenis; voiced.
29.Nautical. (of a sail)
a.cut with little or no fullness.
b.trimmed as nearly fore-and-aft as possible, for sailing to windward.
30.flat a, the a-sound (a) of glad, bat, or act.



Perhaps the river was named Flat River because it was dull and uninteresting. (Definition #14)

By the way, Lester's name was spelled "Flatt".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Jun 09 - 05:07 PM

gnu started a thread about programming his remote control, and when I was responding I realized that the remote control is a sort of electronic analog to the spatula. How many do you have and where do you keep them? How do they differ from each other?

Another great thread idea is born!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Jun 09 - 04:46 PM

Next you'll be telling us how to pour water on troubled oil.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jun 09 - 04:20 PM

THe Flat that goes with Scruggs is not water, but erl. Erl and water don't mix.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jun 09 - 04:13 PM

No, but Flat goes well with Scruggs.

I presume that none of you have seen a water level or even a glass of water. The water is flat (apart from minor effects on the edge of the container) and level, and REMAINS THAT WAY no matter how you tilt it.

I'll betcha that's a property someone somewhere might even find a use for.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Jun 09 - 01:16 PM

Pow! A perfect "10" for LH!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jun 09 - 01:03 PM

Bee-dub, I am going to have to burst your little bubble here. You have overlooked one very basic thing. "Flat" is not a synonym for "horizontal". ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Jun 09 - 12:09 PM

Animals may feel regret, but a dog who whimpers, slouches and tucks his tail isn't sorry for peeing on the rug. He's sorry he's gonna get his ass kicked.

And no, no, no, no, a thousand times no, a river is NOT flat! It may look flat, but that's just because you don't have a sufficiently sensitive measuring device to measure its slope. Even Florida's St. Johns River, considered by many to be the world's laziest major river, drops thirty feet in elevation between its headwaters in south Florida and its mouth, 310 miles away near Jacksonville. That's almost flat, but still a drop of a foot every ten miles. And most rivers drop at a rate many times greater than that.

Next thing ya know, you guys will be trying to to convince us that the EARTH is flat!


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