BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: mousethief
Date: 24 Jan 10 - 08:32 PM

That was probably my boorish paisley onanist. They are very rare (I had it appraised) but I needed to unload it fast. I really wanted a despondent houndstooth egoist.

O..O
=o=

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Jan 10 - 08:24 PM

I once received a striped callow fetishist as a gift, but it didn't match my decor so I had to return it. I swapped it for boorish paisley onanist.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jan 10 - 07:05 PM

SoCal is absolutely awash in them. That may be why Amos is so concerned about being protected.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 10 - 06:58 PM

I've never met a striped callow fetishist, but then I don't live in SoCal but amongst real people.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jan 10 - 06:42 PM

Amos - "Mom is protecting me from dweebs and callow fetishists of all stripes."

Ah...now if only she could protect you from yourself!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 24 Jan 10 - 03:43 PM

purty potree Amos

Gis wut?
I jus heered that Corpoorashuns are now offishully human beans
Wuts good fer the goose is good fer the gander.
Nother wurds, Iffn Copoorashuns are people, then I am a Corpoorashun 2 !!
That means iffn I git drug to court I kin tie people up in court 2.
That means I kin git welfare an be proud ofit.
That means I kin now be tax free with a post office box in ma headqarters in Barbados.
That means I git propurty tax breaks fer providin jobs, hey Missy slop them hogs.
That means I git to go to Vegas and gamble with other peepoles muney,
an iffn I lose the gubmint pays me back!
That means Sinators are gonna hafta do whut I say.
I git to lie cheat an steel an iffn I git caught I git a slap on the rist.


Key Riist ona craker!! That means Me & God are like stink on sheeit.
That means I kin never die, I am a immortal.

but hmmm, it mite also mean, I got no soul

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jan 10 - 02:10 PM

When toe dawn broke out we hitched them up
Each dog in his special style,
And we started on that long trail up,
Full one hundred and sixty miles.
It was cold as sin as we started to climb
Into the teeth of the day
And the trail grew rough, but we had the stuff,
And were bound to make that Kay.

There were cracking whips and cracking ice
As we broke through the frozen glow,
And the lead dogs glared through the flying frost
And leapt into the blinding snow.
As the winds crept up to a serious force,
We bent to the cold wind's sway
Twenty huskies hard, and a Saint Bernard
All bound for the next of Kay.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jan 10 - 01:06 PM

Obviously she was driven to the basement by bad versifiction.


It's enough to make a puir old lady tear her hair, I swan.



A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 24 Jan 10 - 02:20 AM

MOM, what are you doing down here in the basement? Let's brush the crumbs off and get you up to bed.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jan 10 - 05:57 PM

SO westarted out, and the dogs behaved
For the first ten or twenty miles.
The sun was bright on the tundra ice
And the huskies even smiled.
Fer there's nothing a husky loves as well
As loping an open plain
When the ice is bright and the sun is right
And his paws still free of pain.

And as the sun began declinin', we felt all in control,
And the country opened wide as wide
And each of us felt his soul
Grow out to the furthest frozen pine
Past the edge of that frozen day.
And the air was hushed while the huskies mushed
Toward that Thirty Four of Kay.

We camped for the night on a high bluff bright
As silver in a setting sun.
And the dogs stepped out of their traces
And we fed them, every one.
Then they turned their tired heads away,
Each to a corner lone,
And turned around a time or two
And settled with a moan.

"It eight and forty now", said Ma,
And we're grateful for our luck!
No bad breaks on the trail this far,
Nor not a sled's been stuck!
And as the moon was coming up
A cold far cry did play
Against the face of the rising moon
Far short of the next of Kay.

It was lonesome as a midnight prayer
And icy, bold, and wild,
Like the call of the maddened wolverine
Or the scream of the man-wolf child.
And it cut our bones and it pierced our souls
And did every man dismay,
For an evil will was boding ill
That we'd never make that Kay.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jan 10 - 03:36 PM

Neener! Mom is protecting me from dweebs and callow fetishists of all stripes.



A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jan 10 - 03:34 PM

Only to those of immediate simian heritage.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: mousethief
Date: 23 Jan 10 - 02:16 PM

What are you talking about "navigate back"? Aren't all the trains, planes, boats, floats, canoes and shoes cancelled?

O..O
=o=

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 23 Jan 10 - 12:51 PM

Open a new browser window, navigate back, then paste it in and send.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Jan 10 - 12:30 PM

How about that? It did. But naturally it won't accept the post I really want to send, will it! AAARGH!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Jan 10 - 12:29 PM

I have tried about 18 times to post a reply to Amos's last annoying post, but with no success. This forum is fucked, in my opinion.

I wonder if this post will go through?

Well, here goes...

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jan 10 - 12:23 PM

All the passes are closed by avalanches and the airport runway is torn up. The railroad isn't running right now due to an outbreak of rails. Could be hard to get here.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jan 10 - 11:12 AM

Actually, send Chongo to Pocatello. I'm going to see Winona that weekend myself.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Jan 10 - 10:28 AM

Chongo would probably go for that, but I'm not sure Winona would. I'm not sure I would either...not that I don't trust my little simian pal, but...

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 23 Jan 10 - 10:08 AM

Why don't you pack Chongo off to spend the weekend with Winona? Do you think she'd mind?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Jan 10 - 10:03 AM

It's really you he should be visiting, not Amos. He has a lot more in common with you, I think...at least when it comes to guns and stuff like that.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jan 10 - 10:56 PM

Just tell him I have a new S&W Sigma .40 and he won't shut up long enough to eat.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Jan 10 - 08:48 PM

What I would suggest in order to avoid (ahem) trouble is the following:

Plenty of hard liquor on hand at all times.

A TV for watching sports and a computer for surfing.

LARGE breakfast, eggs over easy and bacon "soft". Coffee.

Italian food delivered hot twice a day.

A sofa.

Ashtrays.

Victoria's Secret catalogs or something along that line in easy reach.

An up to date racing form.

That oughta do it. A little casual conversation can't hurt either. Do you know much about guns and/or baseball?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jan 10 - 08:34 PM

I have agreed to tend and feed and walk Chongo for Little Hawk while he goes off and does a men's retreat thing, with drums and loincloths in the woods or some such. I am look for tips and suggestions on caring for an imaginary chimpanzee with a bad attitude, who smokes.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jan 10 - 08:27 PM

Greater love hath no surge protector. I am really moved by your story.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Jan 10 - 07:01 PM

Hi, Mom! We had a lightning strike on Wednesday night just seconds after I posted my last message. At first, I thought the lightning had fried my computer, but it only got the powerstrip into which the computer was plugged. That brave little powerstrip sacrificed itself to save my computer! I'm petitioning President Obama to have it given whatever sort of medal they give surge protectors who've given their lives in performance of their duties.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 22 Jan 10 - 06:44 PM

It's a gorgeous sunset, MOM. Come on out on the porch.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jan 10 - 06:29 PM

The immediate single thing I can tell you it that it is a set including pi. But aside from that I have no interest in playing your silly "hide the secret" game. Who appointed you the Riddler?



A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: mousethief
Date: 22 Jan 10 - 06:29 PM

It's a Bible code read from the side of a rifle scope.

O..O
=o=

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jan 10 - 04:29 PM

True...note the "<".

I will tell you this: it is close to, but is not, Shame McBride's IQ (which is actually an imaginary negative number).

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 22 Jan 10 - 04:24 PM

RAp - that ain't no sequence, it's a single number.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 22 Jan 10 - 04:16 PM

Think I'm stoopid, dont'cha? I got yer number too, eh? It is ZEROE. That means yer nette total worth don't add up to nothin', eh? Flip off.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jan 10 - 03:28 PM

Oh, good-o Amos! Excellent job, old man! would you now like to try the numerical sequence <3.8 9 1 3 9 9 8?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jan 10 - 03:20 PM

Well, at least I got the "obscure and foolish" part right. Dear old WIkipedia defeats Rapaire's obsessive obscurantism again. :

"3-7-77 was the infamous symbol of the Vigilance Committee in Virginia City, Montana. People who had the mysterious set of numbers '3-7-77' painted on their tent or cabin knew that they had better leave the area or be on the receiving end of vigilante justice. To this day the numbers appear on the shoulder patch of the Montana Highway Patrol, who say they do not know the original meaning of the symbol. It also appears on the flight suits of pilots of the Montana Air National Guard. Further, it appears under the bottle cap of certain varieties of Big Sky Brewing Company beer [1]. Various theories have been put forth about its origin, among them:

    * The oldest interpretation is that it meant that the criminal had 3 hours 7 minutes and 77 seconds to leave town.

    * Another common interpretation is that the numbers represent the dimensions of a grave, 3 feet by 7 feet by 77 inches.

    * The sum of the number 3+7+7+7 total 24, representing the criminal had 24 hours to leave town.

    * That it was borrowed from California or Colorado vigilance organizations where member number #3 and #77 were authorized to carry out executions.

    * Frederick Allen, in his book A Decent Orderly Lynching, claims the number means one had to buy a $3 ticket on the next 7:00 a.m. Stagecoach to take the 77-mile trip from Helena to Butte. [2]

    * Recently it has been suggested that the numbers have Masonic origins in that they represent the history of the Masonic vigilantes. The numeral "3" represents the three founding members of the Bannack Masons, the "77" represents the number of original Bannack Masons, and the "7" represents the number of the original vigilantes.[3]
"

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jan 10 - 02:13 PM

That would be Mark Twain's birthday, I suppose, or some other obscure and foolish mysterioso signification.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jan 10 - 01:58 PM

Actually, Shame, Jack Slade was a courteous gentleman most of the time. Mark Twain met him and you could read about it in the book "Roughing It" if you knew how to read. I will however leave you with this message: 3-7-77.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jan 10 - 10:21 AM

ANd if you get kilt, I'll pour your sorry-assed remains into the bottom just before they backfill.



A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 22 Jan 10 - 09:42 AM

If Rapaire gets kilt put him in their before ya fill it up again and save his fambly the cost of the fyuneril.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jan 10 - 09:26 AM

When I came into work at 545 this morning the thirty foot trench was wide open straight across the once intact floor of the shipping area, and laid bare down to about six feet, with large piles of reddish earth alongside it and a shiny new six inch pipe laid down neatly in the bottom. I must say when we get it in our minds to do something (under the powerful incentive of more rain and more flooding) we get 'er done in short order.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 22 Jan 10 - 09:19 AM

You are so lame, man. What a flippin' waste of space you are, eh?

Now lookee here...I went and read up on that fella Jack Slade. And his wife Virginia. And the other guy Jules that he kilt and cut the flippin' ears off of. The guy was a flippin' frog so no wonder he kilt him, eh?

HOLY FLIP!!! One majorly tuff motherflipper that guy Jack Slade was! He took 6 flippin' bullets and 2 shotgun blasts and still come back fer more. Geez! I figger he might give my brother Don and me a tough flippin' go if we was ever to get in a argiment with him over dope or somethin'. But that ain't gonna happen on account of he got hung a long time ago.

Well, it was a good story. I like readin' about them kind of stories of blood and revenge and stuff. Better than Steven King if ya ask me, cos it's real history.

I hope you run inta some guy just like Jack Slade real soon, Rapaire. And I hope he don't like you one bit. Know'm sayin'?

- Shane

p.s. Amos? Get STUFFED!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jan 10 - 09:06 AM

So Shame is tatty. We knew that. Anyone over the age of one year who sucks their own toes (especially considering Shame's hygienic condition) can, yes, be described as "tatty." Among other things.

It does, however, demonstrate a certain suppleness, somewhat akin to a snake or an eel.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Jan 10 - 07:40 AM

"See, this what happens when you put yourself above the law. You get disoriented and forget where you have been."

That sounds a lot like Shane, Amos. He frequently gets "disorienTATed" (as he mistakenly calls it) and seemingly forgets where he has been, specially when being questioned by the police, the judge, etc....

But he doesn't put himself above the law. Perish the thought! He puts himself considerably below the law. ;-) That is, he has trouble relating coherently to any form of law at all, kind of like a snake would have trouble relating to cloud patterns and other stuff like that which happens at higher altitudes. His attention is elsewhere. Shane's attention is usually on something he wants, and that's about as far as his attention extends. Thus he gets "disorienTATed" (sic) and forgets where he's been.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jan 10 - 11:15 PM

Folks hate to have the voices inside their heads interrupted by objective dialogue. It really rattles their cell bars.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 21 Jan 10 - 07:39 PM

I've been poking around at a kind of goofy social media site called mahalo. It's like a poor man's wikipedia, except they pay with pocket change for popular answers, and I am not convinced that it is worth more than a good blog essay, then I'll move on.

I answered a question today about how to cook a chicken, because the first person who answered it was so non-specific. She said 20 to 40 minutes to cook a chicken. What kind of chicken, a baby chick? You can't do a big bird in that short a time. Anyway, I answered with more information on size, time, type of container, type of oven, etc. She answered back that "in 30 years of cooking" blah blah blah. I still don't want to eat at her house if she's undercooking her birds that way.

I'm maintaining the high moral ground on all answers, not picking fights, not offering the coups de grace (or however it is spelled) when someone else fucks up and is just waiting to be knocked off. It's not a place to spend much time if you actually want to earn any real dollars (they pay off in their own dollars, and they scalp 25% off the top for their share).

MOM would be so proud of me. Finally earning a little pocket change. Maybe.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jan 10 - 07:27 PM

See, this what happens when you put yourself above the law. You get disoriented and forget where you have been.



A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jan 10 - 04:58 PM

Hmmm..maybe it was Mobile. Had to be one or t'other.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 21 Jan 10 - 03:49 PM

Thanks for clearing that up, Amos. I knew there was an "i" in there somewhere.

well, there isn't an "i" in "there", but there is one in "plagairism"

Not that plagairism is spelt with a numeral one, but that there is the letter "I" used.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 21 Jan 10 - 03:37 PM

Oh yeh, Biloxi. That's the stuff they inject into your butt to cure the sagging, right?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jan 10 - 03:28 PM

Biloxi. It was in Biloxi!! Now I remember, when it's too late. Damn.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jan 10 - 02:13 PM

It was just a grammatical slip, MM. He meant he fixes plagiarism up when folks don't do it slyly enough. He should have probably said, "I improve plagiarism."



A