BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 31 Jul 15 - 03:34 PM

Rap?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 31 Jul 15 - 03:03 PM

"discretely", Rap?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jul 15 - 12:21 PM

Leave George alone! He's obviously a practitioner of mowing meditation, a mindfulness discipline founded by Guru Bubba Shindawa. It's like walking meditation but the noise of the lawnmower drowns out distracting sounds and engine vibrations transmitted through the handle cause one's fingers to tingle with connectedness to the universe. Guru Bubba Shindawa spreads his teachings through the numerous lawn care product dealerships he and his brother-in-law Swami Jim-Bob Husqvarna, founder of the chainsaw meditation discipline, own throughout the US and Canada.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jul 15 - 10:24 AM

I get the idea, somehow, that yon Rapp was a Molotov Mixologist in a past life...

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 15 - 09:20 AM

Or surreptitiously spray a nifty message into his front law with Roundup. Something like "Go Back To Bed!" or "Shut UP!!". You could think up your own even.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jul 15 - 10:03 PM

Sneak over and dig a small hole in his lawn. Make the hole about a foot deep. In it place sharpened stakes of fire-hardened wood. Camouflage the top. Don't leave fingerprints or footprints and discretely splashing a little gasoline around will help prevent a police dog from following your scent.

Better yet, if you can get to his lawnmower you could use superglue or epoxy in some strategic places -- the gas line is good, as is the carburetor or the control cables. Best of all is using that stuff in the ignition lock of a riding mower...or motorcycle, or....

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 30 Jul 15 - 03:48 PM

It's official. George mowed his lawn again this AM. Five days in a row. It won't be long, I expect.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jul 15 - 03:02 PM

"Soapy's power grew to the point that he admitted to the press that he was a con man and saw nothing wrong with it. In 1896, he told a newspaper reporter, "I consider bunco steering more honorable than the life led by the average politician."

My kinda guy...

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Jul 15 - 01:44 PM

That bullshit detector is defective. It does a pretty good job of detecting surreptitious, insincere, college sophomore trying to sound like he knows what he's talking about in a research paper bullshit, but it doesn't detect true and blatant MOABic bullshit. I have subjected several of my own posts to its analysis and received BS scores of zero or very near zero even though there was not a word of genuine true fact in any of them. As long as you don't use words like "paradigm" or phrases like "complex intermodal relationships" you can pile on bullshit by the bucketful and it won't even notice.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jul 15 - 09:24 AM

Excuse me, that previous post was about Randolf Jefferson "Soapy" Smith. I should have made that clearer.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jul 15 - 09:53 PM

Amos, your acceptance of my apologies is humbly accepted. I shall continue to try to enhance my self-abasement so that I can someday be no longer worthy of self-abasing behavior.

A little known fact:

On Friday, August 30, 1889, Jeff's train made a scheduled stop at the Pocatello depot. During the wait, a man in railroad switchman clothes came up to the window of the railroad car where Jeff sat and fired at him five times, point blank. All but one bullet missed injuring him. It came so close that it mutilated half Jeff's mustache as it whizzed by. Jeff drew pistol and returned three shots, all striking their targets, two in one fleeing assailant and one in another. Next, railroad personnel "tried to mob" him, as Jeff put it, but "we stood them off," and Jeff and his party, with the aid of "a few good citizens," left Pocatello on a hasty, twenty-five-mile horseback ride north to Blackfoot (at that time the county seat).

With him was famed Earp gunman, "Texas Jack" Vermillion. Also with Soapy were Soap Gang members "Fatty Gray, " G. E. "Auctioneer" Roberts, J. W. Allen, and Soapy's younger, hot headed brother, Bascomb.

It's not the OK Corral, but it will do. Smith was acquitted on September 1,1889 and went on to be shot to death on a wharf in Skagway in 1898.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jul 15 - 11:02 AM

Your gracious humility comes as a grand and welcome surprise, sir. I accept your apologies whole-heartedly and return them in kind, regretting my past incivilities toward your august person.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jul 15 - 09:59 AM

Mora dhuit! Conas atha dhui? Té mé go maith, mé.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jul 15 - 10:39 PM

Now I lay me down to sleep
With fork and saucer at my feet,
If I should die before I wake
Bury me with the chocolate cake.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Jul 15 - 10:11 PM

And now I lay me down to sleep
With a bag of peanuts at my feet
If I should die before I wake
Give them to my brother Jake.

gnightgnuit

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Jul 15 - 10:59 AM

Did you know?

It takes six City of Moncton employees and six waste collection vehicles to collect the solid waste for the entire city, which equals more than 17,000 metric tons each year. This is an average of 65 metric tons per collection night, and 10 metric tons—the equivalent of two elephants— per collection employee!

African, Bornean or Indian? Share when you know the answer... no spoilers.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jul 15 - 09:55 AM

You are correct, Amos, and I accept your criticism wholeheartedly. For even though my old friend Sam Clemens wrote

Who write the dramatic critiques for the second-rate papers? Why, a parcel of promoted shoemakers and apprentice apothecaries, who know just as much about good acting as I do about good farming and no more. Who review the books? People who never wrote one. Who do up the heavy leaders on finance? Parties who have had the largest opportunities for knowing nothing about it. Who criticise the Indian campaigns? Gentlemen who do not know a war-whoop from a wigwam, and who never have had to run a foot race with a tomahawk, or pluck arrows out of the several members of their families to build the evening camp-fire with. Who write the temperance appeals, and clamor about the flowing bowl? Folks who will never draw another sober breath till they do it in the grave.

I cannot fault what you said. Sam also wrote "Humor is the great thing, the saving thing after all. The minute it crops up, all our hardnesses yield, all our irritations, and resentments flit away, and a sunny spirit takes their place" because "Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand."

But I shall in the future endeavor to live by your wise precepts. Nuanced shall I be, nuances upon nuances shall flounder about in my writings. For though I admit to being the scion of a long tradition in American writing I shall eschew ad Califoriem remarks and limit myself to (probably vain) attempts to copy such wit as that of Pope, Swift, and Dryden.

Please forgive me for my past peccadilloes. I shall make whatever penance seems appropriate, tho' it be sackcloth and hot ashes.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jul 15 - 02:13 AM

Rapp:

If you have an ambition to be humorous, keep plugging. It is not accomplished by taking what someone said and just pretending they said the opposite--that's just, well, juvenile. You need to outgrow jejune contrarianism and discover the subtlety of genuine nuance if you ever expect to be, someday, genuinely funny.

A.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST, ^*^
Date: 27 Jul 15 - 11:35 PM

Shhhhh! There are some animal lovers, even wild animal rescuers in the mudcat family. They don't want to hear about your thinning the herd and green bags.

I have concluded the activities of my long weekend and though it might sound like I'm proud to have cleaned the kitchen and taken out the trash, what I have really done is dog-proofed the house for the rest of my work week. Labrador retriever-proofed the house. This dog has no shame, is a counter-surfer extraordinaire. I won't enumerate all of the odd things as well as tasty things he has snatched and eaten, take my word for it that it is his nature to do so. It's so hot right now that I've rigged a dog door into the house so they don't have to move from shady spot to shady spot with frequent dips in their stock tank to stay cool. (No way I'm leaving this pack in the house all day long without a way out into the yard as needed. They're outside dogs, not record-holders in the bladder and bowel competition.) As soon as I put in that dog door they became instant couch potatoes. Except when they're out in the back yard barking at the black vulture that has been hanging out on the next door ham radio antenna.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 Jul 15 - 08:39 PM

Hot ashes? Have I got a job for you! Salary, benefits and all you can eat! Acourse, ya might have ta fight off the odd seagull or crow or stray cat fer yer snacks. Now, I know coons can be nasty critters but we don't got no coons in our garbage... and we won't because if them bandits get in my garbage, the City will take care of them or *I* will. And I don't relocate further than a green bag at roadside on garbage day.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 15 - 04:52 PM

Don't put in hot ashes. Simple.

Amos, we keep the windows open to allow fresh mountain air to permeate our house. I can understand why in your polluted, smog-smothered, Southern California environment you do not. But please, we wouldn't want to lose you so if you start coughing up blood and fragments of lung tissue (common in your area, I understand) please see a doctor right away.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 Jul 15 - 03:57 PM

Soooo... I went out to meet the garbage truck driver. I told him I had a large bag of wood stove ashes and wondered how it should be bagged/disposed. He told me they can't take wood stove ashes because they could start a fire in the truck. I said, "Thanks, bud." and gave him a thumbs up. I shall put small amounts in the green bags (wet) over the next several weeks. No sense trying to explain to someone that ashes cannot burn.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jul 15 - 10:33 AM

I'm not sure I understand this whole thing about having the windows open. Why is that unusual? Mine are open by default, except in the office where the balmy breezes tend to disrupt the stacks of papers. Every month of the year. What's the BFD? How about your toilet lids. Are they normally open? Normally closed?
Oh, and your kitchen cabinets? Chimney flus? SIlverware drawers? Working peanut butter jars?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 15 - 09:50 AM

What!!!??? You don't have a 3-D food printer? It's basic to every modern household! Are you living in a cave or what? If it's the cost, I'll give you the twenty bucks or so you need to get a real top-of-line one.

Last night I slept with the windows open and the ceiling fan on -- it got down to 58F (14.44C) and it was great, all snuggled up in blankets. I think I'll do it until I leave for France and Germany on the 3rd.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jul 15 - 01:26 AM

Acme, you can't download pizza! Just get used to it...

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 27 Jul 15 - 12:45 AM

I've ad me windaws open fer tree days b'y!

Geez. I thought at first you meant you hadn't turned your computer off for three days. I need to get out more

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 15 - 11:59 PM

Did yer granny know old man Wittgenstein?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 Jul 15 - 10:53 PM

I had eggs over easy on cracked wheat toast for supper at 6PM. It's 23:45 and my farts already smell like eggs. I know this is not erudite or literary but it is the human condition and we share that fate... that fart. It's the fart that binds. Gramma was a Pascal... maybe I got my digestion from her?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 15 - 10:34 PM

I am scarcely surprised the ability to discern truth depends on not being confined in one's being by cumulative falsity.

AHJ

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 15 - 09:01 PM

"[Fania] Pascal's Wittgenstein intends to accuse her of not of lying but of misrepresentation of another sort. She characterizes her feeling as the feeling of a run over dog. She is not really acquainted, however, with the feeling to which this phrase refers. Of course, the p0hrase is far from being complete nonsense to here; she is hardly speaking gibberish. What she says has an intelligible connotation, which she certainly understands. Moreover, she does know something about the quality of the feeling to which the phrase refers: she knows at least that it is an undesirable and unenjoyable feeling. The trouble with her statement is that it purports to convey something more than simply that she feels bad. Her characterization of her feeling is too specific; it is excessively particular. Hers is not just any bad feeling but, according to her account, the distinctive kind of bad feeling that a dog has when it is run over. To the Wittgenstein in Pascal's story, judging from his response, this is just bullshit."
            --Harry G. Frankfort, On Bullshit (Princeton: Princeton University Press, 2005), pp. 28-29.

Based upon this passage by Frankfort I hardly think it plausible to assume that the last post by Amos enjoys any plausibility or veracity whatsoever.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 15 - 10:38 AM

I dropped a couple of Rapparree's posts into that thing and the needle didn't even quiver. This demonstrates to a certainty that his BS is surreptitious, covert, BS of the stealth variety, the kind that inserts itself into your mental landscape so underhandedly that you don't notice it corroding your thought patterns and undermining your ratiocinative processes. Polished, seemingly normal prose with a quiet, deadly, secret payload.

I think our Mom prefers the explicit, open-hearted sort.

So there ya go.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 15 - 10:24 PM

One here. I checked out a couple of Amos' posts and they blew up the meter at the far end.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jul 15 - 09:45 PM

The bullshit detector in not retroactive, my dear. If it does not appear you may have to apply a home made variant.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 25 Jul 15 - 09:40 PM

Beedubyaell, I am wounded. I did not receive the 'official MOAB membership packet'. Please send it forthwisht.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 Jul 15 - 08:39 PM

I've ad me windaws open fer tree days b'y! Never ad da AC on once an she's July 25! Some shockin good me zon, me zon! Down ta yer 12C tanoight! Buddy... she don't get no better'n dis eh wha? I jus fear sumpin's gotta give come yer moon phase eh wha? I mean, wit all da heat out west an yer L Neenyo what dey say is gonna fry da fuck outta tings even worse, be da lard tunderin Jaysus, we might be in fer a big shit down in the Merrytimes too eh wha? So, I am enjoyin every single minute of dis grand wedder while she's ona go. When I can sleep with da windaws open an have ta use a BLANKET in July? Why, dat's heaven buddy.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 Jul 15 - 04:50 PM

"An official MOAB bullshit detector..."? I'm fucked.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Jul 15 - 09:06 AM

Congratulations, David, for having posted to the Mother of All BS Threads! Your official MOAB membership packet is in the mail.

Subject to availability, you will receive:

A framed certificate of MOABicity
Sheet music to the official MOAB fight song
A secret MOAB decoder ring
A genuine MOAB whoopee cushion
A packet of MOAB non-GMO-certified sea monkeys (just add water)
An official MOAB bullshit detector (batteries not included, some assembly required)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jul 15 - 01:11 AM

The sad fate of library specialists--a head crammed with other people's identities and stories, causing suffocation of the central spark. Grim.

Ingerson, a delight to see you here in Mom's netherworld! Pray return often and riddle us with Celtic blarney.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 24 Jul 15 - 10:14 PM

MO-Om! Raparee stole the "Name Game" post I was gonna make. That's not fair!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 15 - 09:59 PM

I was speaking (writing)about David Oglethorpe, notorious do-badder in Butte from 1871 to 1927. HE was also the guy who lit the fuses for the dynamite that blew up the union hall, HE was the guy behind the Frank Little incident, HE was guy who caused at least six of the mine "disasters" in Butte. He was Henry Plummer's boss and was called "The Mastermind of the Mines." Although he worked hand-in-glove with Clark, Daly, Heinze, and Standard Oil. He mysteriously vanished in 1927 while standing under an ore chute.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 24 Jul 15 - 01:17 PM

16C, breezy, isolated showers. >;-D

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: David Ingerson
Date: 24 Jul 15 - 12:58 AM

I can't believe I'm below the line (or is it below the belt?) And I surely can't keep up with you creative funny guys.

I cannot tell a lie. My sirname does not begin with an "O" but rather a lowly and slender "I". And I am taking Irish, and in the so-called advanced class, where we are daily learning how much more complex the Irish language is than we'd ever imagined it could possibly be in our most demented nightmares.

I was embarrassed the other day to discover that I'd been talking to Rapparee for over an hour before he laid down enough clues for me to figure out who he was. And no, I've never worked in the Neversweat. It's all a myth and maybe even a conspiracy out to besmirch my sterling reputation.

Anyway, greetings to all of you out there in Mudland. I'm hoping I can make it to the Getaway this year and see some of you in person.

Cheers,

David

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST, ^*^
Date: 23 Jul 15 - 10:49 PM

As the owner of two polysyllabic pooches, I must defend the practice of giving nice names to dogs, more than just a grunt in their direction. The third dog has a mono-syllable name, and came already named enough so I couldn't start calling him something else (though the name I had in mind is close enough sounding that he might not notice - it doesn't matter what I call him as long as I call him in time for dinner, right?)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jul 15 - 09:04 PM

He's working in the Never Sweat at the 1,235 foot level. Started as a mucker in a stope but worked his way up to mule wrangler in only a couple of weeks. He was a bar tender at the Finlandia but when he was told to "tap 'er light" he underfilled the beer mugs and barely escaped to the Dumas with his life. Leaving the Dumas was a tricky business, but as long as you left all that you owned and more there they let you keep your pants, or so I've heard anyway. So he's here and learning Irish except that he's in the very, very advanced group and he's got his Irish up. He told me to tell you that you owe him USD 1,237 from some mining stock you sold him, saying something about a mine being "a hole in the ground with a liar on top" but I didn't quite catch it all.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 23 Jul 15 - 08:39 PM

The fucker emailed again! He wants to know why I said $20. And he wants to know what kind of rifle the mounts were on. DELETE.

Don't you hate it when people post inane superfluous shit about shit you don't give a shit about and waste your time?

gnightgnu

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Jul 15 - 08:25 PM

I think it's Darth O'Sullivan, the bipolar Irish-American playwright best known for his play "Dark Side of the Farce".

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jul 15 - 07:40 PM

Damien Oglethorpe is in Butte? Why, that old son-of-a-gun! He still owes me 1235 bucks from that real estate project that went sour in 1986!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 23 Jul 15 - 02:59 PM

Kijiji. $10. Buddy sends an email... "Who is the mfg of the see through scope rail mounts. "I dunno but they are a good deal at $20." "Where did you get them? Off a rifle?" DELETE.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jul 15 - 10:04 PM

No, he or she who is in Butte
Is not an octothorpe,
But goeth by the pre- and surnames
Of D**** O*********.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jul 15 - 07:58 PM

Oh, once I had an octothorp
Who was a friend to me
I fed the thing on gruel and gorp
Under the banyan tree
It made him hop and snuff and snort
And whirl and leap around
Until my poor old octothorp
Turned into a lowly pound!
His hash was settled once for all
His hair fell out behind.
I weep that the octothorp should fall
To the status of a sign!