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BS: The Mother of all BS threads
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Janie Date: 22 Mar 09 - 03:38 PM Hey Mom, the oven is all clean now, and so are the kitchen and living room windows. If you don't mind, I'll save the rest of the windows for another day and head outside to pot up some plants while there is still plenty of warmth and sunshine left. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 22 Mar 09 - 02:44 PM Ya know, I always did feel like a drifter, about this time of day. And when the moonlight touches the water, Surely something touches me, And I go reaching for the river, Like it,s reaching for the sea. I hate to see, Our mom go driftin' down. Because it makes me feel, Were on our last time round, Oh, yeah.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 22 Mar 09 - 03:35 AM And to you both, salutes for courage, earnestness and stoutness of heart. We scrubbed all the dishes and dried them. The Ocenaographer, the Retied Physicist and the Choreographer werre joined by new friends, the Education Executive and his wife. A lovely time and a successful experiment in sweet and sour chicken and brown rice. Good talk, good wine, and a good evening. The kitchen is back to battery and our heads are full. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Acme Date: 22 Mar 09 - 02:30 AM Janie, take it easy on yourself. Keep that recognition of the date modest (and PM if you want to talk. Been there, done that. 10 years ago this year.) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 22 Mar 09 - 01:35 AM Dang, Janie, we should make this happenmoe often.... A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Janie Date: 21 Mar 09 - 10:29 PM Mmario, The freds have all headed to Wallstreet, to nibble on the tender and unbruised dna of the unrepentant who sleep dreamlessly, undisturbed by the the consequences of their actions. Pure as the driven snow, they are, by their own lights. Come on out. It's safe. Let's play Deer and Hounds! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Janie Date: 21 Mar 09 - 10:24 PM I'm just a little bit drunk, though not on gin-and-tonic. It don't happen very often. Were those curse words, Rap, or a German blessing intended to keep the germies away from the finger? Lilacs are best pruned immediately after bloom as they do not bloom on new wood. The exception is when they need severe pruning. They generally do not require blood sacrifice, but maybe your's did. Atonement, and all that. You know? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 21 Mar 09 - 10:03 PM Spitzen Zeigen Vörwarts (As we say around here.) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Acme Date: 21 Mar 09 - 07:57 PM Those kinds of cuts do smart, that's for sure. I'm putting out soaker hoses this afternoon. MOM doesn't want the chard to dry out, the colors are so pretty and it tastes so good. And it's free. :) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 21 Mar 09 - 07:14 PM Jist clearin' out some over-thick lilac canes -- like three inches across over-thick -- and the little pruning saw slipped a bit. Good clean cuts, healed right up after we put a band-aid on good and tight. Then we replaced it with a looser band-aid after a bit. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 21 Mar 09 - 07:09 PM Saw...you can't saw very well? Or you weren't really trying? ANyway, I suggest taking up smoking--the high nicotine level in theblood does wonders for your healing of nicks and cuts. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 21 Mar 09 - 06:40 PM And I'm glad, too, because it's my trigger finger. Would've been harder to shoot them that needs shootin' and runnin' a blade into those who need a little bleedin' to restore their Humours. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 21 Mar 09 - 06:15 PM I just tried to saw my finger off. Fortunately for Mom's pocketbook bandaids seem to have taken care of it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 21 Mar 09 - 05:17 PM What a relief--here I thought she was slumming!! Dang, why do those two activities look so similar??? A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Acme Date: 21 Mar 09 - 05:07 PM Don't worry, Amos. MOM was just down on her hands and knees putting in bedding plants for the garden. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 21 Mar 09 - 04:21 PM Stet! ANyway, you guys have gotten so intimidated between Freds and Bettys this place looks like five minutes after the Flintstones. Mom is drifting in the blood-hungry clutches of insane entropy. You want insanity? There's insanity for you!! By definition!! Uniform distribution!! Reduction of order!!! Negative order!!! Why, it's downright socialist. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 21 Mar 09 - 10:09 AM I'm going to go out in the yard and So there. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: MMario Date: 21 Mar 09 - 08:57 AM I can't see you so you can't see me! I'm not coming out. You just want me to come out so the freds can eat me. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 21 Mar 09 - 01:27 AM Hey, the bath-with-Gin and Tonic idea sounds pretty good. All hands on deck... A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Janie Date: 21 Mar 09 - 12:15 AM Which reminds me of my first "date" with my ex. (Thinking about this because I just received notice that the divorce is final. Both sad and liberating.) A walk in the woods, off the beaten trail, with many stops to poke a stick into assorted wild animal turds to determine 1. what animal; and 2. what were they eating at that time of year. "Doctor of Turdology", is what he called himself. In truth, he is a gifted teacher who empowers people to step off the track and be in nature, afraid or not. To recognize we are no different from, and very much a part of, the natural world. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I run and give my chivalrous brother Amos a hug as I spit in the freds eye and stick my tongue out at Rapaire. MMario? MMario? Come on out now. Let's play. MOM is in the the bath with bubbles and a gin-and-tonic. She ain't in the mood to whap anybody else. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Acme Date: 20 Mar 09 - 11:57 PM Aw, Janie, isn't that cute? He's being chivalrous. He doesn't know the Freds can do us no harm. We'd just spit in their eyes (compound eyes, like on a fly). Shoo them away. Scrape them off our shoes like a chunk of dog poop. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 20 Mar 09 - 11:28 PM Ahem...Ladies...don't open that screen door. BEing of soft tissue and delicate inclination, you lot are especially flavorfl from a freds point of view. Or, so I have been told. I'm a bit on the wiry side, in most places, so they take one look and veer off to the other side of the galaxy. Lemme see if I can scare them off. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 20 Mar 09 - 11:00 PM But before I go, Janie might get some information of use here, here, and here. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 20 Mar 09 - 10:43 PM Nope, if you save a life you are responsible for it. If you don't bad, bad, bad kharma will getcha because you have interfered in the eternal cycle of ying and yang. Gonna go get drunk, beat up a coupla cops, and let Janie take the blame.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Janie Date: 20 Mar 09 - 10:12 PM We interrupt this program for a special disclaimer - Just because I can't do HTML except for italics, doesn't mean I have milktoast passions. We now return to our regularly scheduled programming. I am truly emphatic when I say - NO I'M NOT!!!! I CALL "GIRLS RULES." So Mote It Be!!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 20 Mar 09 - 10:07 PM You saved my life! Therefore, you are responsible for me from here on. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Janie Date: 20 Mar 09 - 08:31 PM ( Standing inside the front door, with the screen door safely latched, and ready to run upstairs to lock self in bathroom if need be) ....pssst....Rap....wake up. Wake up, hear me? I gotta tell you sumthin'. You owe me a great big thank you. I just saved your life. Iff'n I hadn't managed to git you in enough trouble fer MOM to knock you clear to Kingdom Come, you'd a done been et by one of them freds. Just think. You owe me your life. Boy, am I good, or what! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: GUEST,the freds Date: 20 Mar 09 - 08:16 PM That had to hurt. We don't eat bruised DNA, we'll pass by this specimen, as convenient as it is, because that kind of hematoma gives the meat a bad flavor. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Janie Date: 20 Mar 09 - 07:35 PM (**nyah-nyah-nyah-nyahnyahnah - giggle**) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Acme Date: 20 Mar 09 - 07:26 PM Whapppp! Look at Rap, laid out on the porch. MOM didn't even stick around to see if he's still breathing. He shoulda crept off like the rest of the boys, not stuck around gabbing on the porch like nothing was going to happen. MOM was pissed by that earlier nonsense, no doubt about it. Looks like he's stirring a little. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 20 Mar 09 - 06:55 PM Aw,man, you have no idea what yer askin'!!! It would be a jolly thing, but I have a stack of things on my imaginary plate that need attention first if I can get out from this work-a-day schedule! :D A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 20 Mar 09 - 05:58 PM Do agin! Do agin! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 20 Mar 09 - 05:43 PM Man, ya know, I wuz lissening to those Mudcat CDs today, after a long absence, and I was delighted with how nice they sound. They were a good thing. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 20 Mar 09 - 04:58 PM IF SHane is the last word on anything, it's only on account of him passing out when he noticed everyone he was talking at slipped away on various excuses. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 20 Mar 09 - 04:08 PM Have they put him on a plane back to Canada yet? If not I'll have to remember to tell the Gardai that he led the movement to brew Guinness in Labrador instead of Dublin. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Little Hawk Date: 20 Mar 09 - 03:35 PM You want the last word on girls? Ask Shane. He claims to be the master when it comes to that. The voice of experience. The one who knows all there is to know. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 20 Mar 09 - 12:12 PM **Slips out bedroom window on third floor and shinnies down nearby pine to go visit the woodshed for a while** Man, wimminz is hard to unnerstan' sometimes. Yer supposed to write them nice poems, and when you do they get all mad!! I mean, whazzup with THAT? A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: MMario Date: 20 Mar 09 - 11:49 AM *quietly sneaks out of the house, hoping to go unnoticed* |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Acme Date: 20 Mar 09 - 11:32 AM Jane, Mom said she's gonna slap those two upside the head next time they come near enough. She's not going to warn them by "whining" first. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 20 Mar 09 - 11:00 AM I think we should get Rapaire to expound on the question of the degree to which the body controls the soul, and vice-versa. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 19 Mar 09 - 08:53 PM SHOW ME A PRETTY LITTLE NUMBER (Tom Paxton) All over this great big city Can't find a woman who's nice and pretty They all look like a page in a magazine Legs are long and they eat like a sparrow Figures stick to the straight and narrow Top and bottom are the same as in between Show me a pretty little number When she walks, she rolls like thunder Eyes as deep and dark as the deep blue sea Round right here and round right there Pretty red lips and her very own hair Wrap her up, she's the natural girl for me Went down in a coffeehouse palace Met a little lady and her name was Alice She had friends and her friends had her it seems Face was dirty and her sweater was baggy Pants were tight and her hair was shaggy I've seen her like on college football teams Way up in a penthouse pretty Thirteen miles above the city I met a lady from a wealthy family She could cuss like a real longshoreman She was making eyes at the doorman She made a most unusual offer to me Way up at a Broadway party Met a little lady who was very arty She took me home to see her studio She took out her paints and she whispered to me She said she wanted to do me Some of that paint will never come off I know |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 19 Mar 09 - 08:13 PM The thing about it is, to be honest, that although we Neanderthals may make jesting remarks about the intricacies of girls and their punctilious attention to the many delicate arts of appearance, the truth is we are awful glad they are so successful at it!! As the song said, "There ain't nothing in the world like a big-eyed girl...". A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Janie Date: 19 Mar 09 - 08:02 PM Oh crap! Now look what I've started.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 19 Mar 09 - 07:09 PM I YAM GURL!!!! HEar me ROAR! In the silk lingerie store! Hear me holler, stomp and wail! At Victoria's Secret's Sale!! Hear, oh hear me, carry on About Nan at the Nail Salon! Flinch and tremble, duck and quail, If you see me break a nail! I YAM GURL!! I shall throw FITS Seeing one with larger t**ts! Dare not question Gurly Law!! Mention not Avoirdupois!! I am She who Rules the World!! Suck it up, boys-- I AM GURLLL!!! Bellisima Preciosa Translations from Croatian Love Songs Anthracite, PA, 1913 |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 19 Mar 09 - 06:07 PM I am girl, give me wine, Give me viands oh so fine, Rubies bigger'n the eggs of rocs of old! 'Cause without you just ain't You wouldn't even be quite faint Your nonexistence bell would have been tolled. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 19 Mar 09 - 05:26 PM I am GIRL, give me wine.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Acme Date: 19 Mar 09 - 02:38 PM Amos, cellar! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 19 Mar 09 - 02:36 PM "I AM GUURRRRRRL!!! HEAR ME WHINE!!!!!!" A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 19 Mar 09 - 02:31 PM And I won't pick on her in front of Mom and everyone anymore. Nope, I won't pick on her in front of anyone. Not me, nossir! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 19 Mar 09 - 02:23 PM Gurlz rool, dudette!! :D A |
