BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Jul 08 - 11:52 AM

I remember those days on the changing table--a free spirit, chained to a very limited body. But the freedom to pee over your head just when the Big Person was approaching was a complete delight!


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 11 Jul 08 - 11:39 AM

The software Garage Band sounds pretty good.

I'm going to call my band Red Oozing Pustuels.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 08 - 09:13 AM

I dunno, Amos. Wherewhen Gluon travels you can never tell -- strings, wormholes, cats, spacial-temporal anomalies, and who knows what else?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Jul 08 - 12:26 AM

Don't know much about dachshunds but I got a nice cool down today when I gave my dogs each a bath. It consisted of standing in the yard with the hose and a bottle of shampoo. I also had two towels. In 95 degree weather they don't NEED to be towel dried, but it is always their favorite part of a bath, so I "dry them off" even if they're outside and will air dry in no time at all. I hold the towel and they dive in head first for that whole head and neck rub that they adore.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 11:51 PM

He has better taste than some of us. He wouldn't touch a bandy-legged hot dog no matter how hot.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 10:46 PM

Dachshunds think EVERYONE is shouting encouragement and cheering them on. If Gluon HAS reproduced I hope that the pups aren't part dachshund.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 09:41 PM

"Hey diddle diddle, the dachshund made a piddle..."

That's why I call them "diddlers". They're out in the yard yelling at the neighborhood and I yell out the window at them, "Shut up, you diddlers!" to amuse myself. It only spurs them on to greater vocal efforts. They probably think that I am yelling encouragement.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 08:35 PM

Oh puddiddle
A pox on all your piddle!
Get thee in dry underwear
Wash your hands and comb your hair
Before you touch that fiddle.

.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 07:21 PM

Well I, for one, have NEVER piddled! I've urinated, micturated, peed, pissed, passed water, took a leak, drained the lizard, and pointed Percy at the porcelain. When I was young I pee-peed, tee-teed or wee-weed, depending on whose house I happened to be in at the time. I've also fired a few rounds from the heat-seaking moisture missile, though I'm not sure that's the same thing. But piddled? Nope.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 06:39 PM

You can piddle as you pedal through a puddle to peddle.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 01:17 PM

The MOABites take to a huddle,
To sort out a terrible muddle!
It's easy to see,
The need to CP.
And its difference from piddle and puddle."

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 12:55 PM

You're confusing "piddle" and "puddle." Neither should be confused with "piddling."

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 09:21 AM

With some of the little boys (and girls, for that matter) I've known it more like a fire hose or a geyser.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 03:09 AM

If it goes over one's head, it's pee, not piddle. Piddle just sort of dribbles out. If it comes out in a continuous stream, it's pee.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 12:19 AM

"reversed and upside down" piddle is what little boys do over the top of their own heads when they're lying on the changing table before you've had a chance to get the new diaper in place.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 10:39 PM

Right, that. Nothing less charming than piddle, at least to most people.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 10:14 PM

Apparently it's something like charm, only reversed and upside down.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 08:26 PM

But it does relate to newborns

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 07:31 PM

Piddle is not related to reproduction, according to the information I received on the subject, somewhere in 1st grade....




A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 05:35 PM

I qualified my statement because I'm not sure. But there have been certain anomalies found lately by the Accelerator Lab at Idaho State University that tend to lead me to the possibility that perhaps Gluon has maybe reproduced her/his self. On of those is the footprints of tiny quarks with a quality the A-Lab folks are calling "piddle."

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 04:13 PM

He's a matrix, of the genus Improbabilis. His reproductive process is by Either-Or translocation.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 03:47 PM

Is Gluon a mammel? Or avian? or monotreme? Or possibly live-bearing but not mammalian?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 03:35 PM

Whelp, I'll be! Really?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 03:29 PM

Speaking of puppies, I have a sneaking suspicion that Gluon has pupped.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 11:31 AM

His feathers, by the way, tend to vaporize when encountering normal matter. THis is why the old wives' expression "rare as a duckdog's feathers" came into wide use.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 11:20 AM

Why they call 'em eggplants.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 11:16 AM

back to a previous question, regarding Gluon and shedding and molting.

Shedding results because of a seasonal weakening of the hair, causing it to break off; Molting results from the old feather being pushed out by the growth of the new feather.

Oddly enough - it is believed (hard to sutdy Gluon because of the uncertainty principle) that Gloun actually molts hair and sheds feathers. In other words, Gluon grows 'hair in discrete sections, much as normal feathers grow; but Glouns feathers grow in a continous manner, such as normal hair is produced - or for example the tail feathers of certain rare orieintal roosters.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 11:13 AM

And all along I thought that was just their name. So if they're not called that for nothing, why are they called that?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 10:33 AM

AH...herlpful...yes indeed.

They don't call them eggplant for nothing, you know.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 01:44 AM

Those Japanese eggplants are probably handy for a number of purposes.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 12:08 AM

No way with these Black Beauties, but maybe the dildo-shaped Japanese eggplants.

Just trying to be helpful.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 11:54 PM

But I suspect, veeeeery sloooooowly....



A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 04:32 PM

Just try it, man.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 04:25 PM

Really? I wasn't aware of that. You've had experience, I take it.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 01:06 PM

Aubergine suppositories will really get you moving!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 12:56 PM

I read those Mitford books. Borrowed 'em from a friend. My wife put 'em in her car to return, left the car window open and they all got ruined. Books and water don't mix. We offered to pay for 'em, but our friend insisted that we just give her equal value in pottery and keep our cash. That was nice and Mitfordly of her, wasn't it?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 12:15 PM

Mitford series is good.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 12:14 PM

Go read "At Home in Mitford". Loverly book, now a series, with excellent low-key artistic skill behind it.



A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 11:37 AM

Oh. It's been a long time I've been depressed enough to read that. Or "Jude the Obscure" or anything by a Russian or "Down and Out In Paris and London".

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 10:14 AM

The main character in Farina's "Been Down So Long, It Looks Like Up to Me"

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 09:55 AM

Who he? A gnossostic?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 09:31 AM

Some one posting to this thread is channeling Gnossos Pappadopoulis.

I'm sure of it.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 09:20 AM

And then eat them? I've never had eggplant prepared that way (it's always been cooked) but to each his own.

Or take two slices and spread one with grape jelly and the other with peanut butter and make a sandwich.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 07:11 AM

I've developed a fondness for sandwiches made of fried slices of Aubergine. Dip 'em in egg and bread 'em with a mix of fine cracker crumbs and grated Parmessan.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 11:49 PM

I have a recipe for a pork, tomato, onion, and eggplant casserole that is heavenly. Plus, it knocks off two or three eggplants in one meal that way. Also, I fry up breaded slices and cover them with tomato sauce and mozarella and freeze them for meals later. Very good when you're hungry and in a hurry.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 11:44 PM

Aubergine underwear, however, can be quite fetching.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 09:48 PM

The ceiling of the library is painted aubergine or, as we say, dark purple. That's because about 65% of it is unfinished and the paint hides the ducts, pipes, and stuff. It's unfinished because they ran out of money -- something about investing the donated money in dotcom stocks in the '90s....

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 07:31 PM

That's the great tragedy of plating them, of course.

Aubergine,
Aubergine,
Purplest fruit
I've ever seen,
God must have been
Feeling mean,
When he made Aubergine

Fries like a pancake
Looks like dough,
Makes me feel like
I ain't hungry no mo'
Which there was someplace
Else to go
Away from Aubergine....


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 05:38 PM

Hey, MOM! It's eggplant parmesian for dinner tonight! And tomorrow. And the day after. And the day after that. The eggplant are all coming in now, enough to keep us eating eggplant for a month or more if we eat it every day.

The tomatoes are still green.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 09:40 AM

No, no--it was just a little ice cream...


A