BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 11:10 AM

As we get closer and closer to M2K, I'm impressed by the restraint shown by the MOAB community. Any other bunch of yo-yos heading toward a landmark as important as M2K would be stumbling all over themselves and filling the thread with totally gratuitous posts in their egotistical attempts to be the one to actually make the landmark post. But not this bunch of yo-yos! No sir! We know all about delayed gratification. We're in no rush to get someplace that probably won't live up to our expectations anyway. We're adults. We know how to enjoy the journey as well as the destination. And, yes, when the destination has been reached we'll probably experience a slight tinge of regret that the journey has ended.

Ah, bullshit, you old fart! You're as fulla shit as a constipated Christmas goose. You wanna be the one to make that 2000th post! Go on. Admit it. This post is just as gratuitous as it can be. What've you actually said here? Nothing. Tryin' to sound like you've got somethin' to say when all you're really doin' is pushin' the thread one post closer to 2000. You're gettin' worse, Buddy. Just keep pushin' and we'll get you one of these days, you old sumbitch!

Oh, yeah? Fuck off you little purple-talkin' prick!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 22 Jan 04 - 09:26 AM

Lhord Khancre sez...See , we are "passengers" on this "train". The "train" (MOAB)is rushing headlong to the "depot" (M2K). But we will all arrive AT THE SAME TIME because the rear is traveling faster than the head!!!!


I am confhazed and excommunicated by this utterance yore Headness! Could you escalate this degree so thet a common numbnutz like myself an' the obvthers here may excrete the true meaning obv that Royal Missile? I am sartin that there iz great portents obv somethin constrained within it but am habving trouble wif putting it into fhocus somehow.
Thanks for enny help or delightenment you may choose to shed.

Yerz,
Tweed
K.O.T.R.Obv.T.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 11:09 PM

1992-RIP GJW!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 10:55 PM

It was 1991,
We set out to have some fun
I remember well, or so it seems today,
I was only forty-six
Still too young to cross the Styx
I was sure I'd get my kicks (if I drank enough) that day

But I woke up with my hands around the aspirin bottle
Drinking water like a desert on the double
Middle age is such a bitch! Drink a lottle
And you'll end up losing Monday for your trouble

(Repeat for the rest of the 90's in order).

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 10:48 PM

1990. I remember 1990. I think I remember 1990, I think.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 09:36 PM

The correct term is "M2K"!
Bear with me & I shall calm your skewed nerves!
Why does the rear end of a looooong train travel faster than the engine?
Because it has farther to go to reach the depot!
Now apply that to M2K & you will see that we Moabites have nothing to fear! Nada!Zilch! Nil!

See , we are "passengers" on this "train". The "train" (MOAB)is rushing headlong to the "depot" (M2K). But we will all arrive AT THE SAME TIME because the rear is traveling faster than the head!!!!

I'll sit quietly a moment as this revelation hits you!



Am I hearing sighs of relief??

SEE! By arriving at the SAME TIME, we have made time stand still!!!!
& since time stands still....


WE WILL NEVER GET THERE!!!!!

"Rest your weary souls,
The King wears no new clothes" (H.L. Wigley c:1916)

Kk

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 07:55 PM

Man, the day that Leedle Hack is reduced to sputtering grade-school dactyls (especially one so far out on the fringe it deserves to be called a peri-dactyl) and is otherwise at a loss for words -- that is a day woth seeing!! I am deeply stirred to thnk such a day has finally come, brothers and sisters. Lo how the MOAB shineth!

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 06:25 PM

I am so overwhelmed at the thought of the impending disaster on MP2K that all I can do is paste this in from the Popeye thread:

I'm Donald the Disney duck
I pilot a garbage truck
I almost go crazy
When thinking of Daisy
6 decades and STILL NO F------!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 06:19 PM

I have a pencil on my desk from The Salvador Dali Museum in St. Petersburg, Florida. I have no idea how it got here. I've never been to The Salvador Dali Museum. In fact, I've only been to St. Peterburg once and all I did then was play for a contra dance and drive back to my friend's house across the Bay in Tampa.

In fact, I have no idea how any of the pencils in my house got here. I haven't bought a pencil since 1970, yet I never run out of them. Perhaps my house is a locus to which other people's lost pencils are drawn.

If you are missing any pencils, please PM me with descriptions and I'll see if I have them. Honest, I didn't take them on purpose.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 03:00 PM

No, my eyes are bloodshot blue.

Amos posted 1984!!! Hail, Big Brother!!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 01:38 PM

Right, Rap. You're one of those brown-eyed guys, aren't ya??


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 01:31 PM

It has to do with the Titius-Bode Law, Amos, and that "Natura vaccuumae abhorret."

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 12:43 PM

Hah!!! I have been preparing for M2K, P2K or whatever you wanna call it for ten days already! I'm a country boy and "A Country Boy will Survive"!

Excerpt from post of Date: 11 Jan 04 - 07:33 PM

"In anticipation of M2K I have examined the five-gallon bucket of dried soybeans and the five-gallon bucket of dried lentils that my friend Trish's in-laws bought in anticipation of starving to death after Y2K. When it became apparent that the supply of Big Macs would remain uninterrupted they decided they really don't like soybeans and lentils anyway and, somehow, the damned things wound up in my toolshed. They appear to be edible, and if M2K shuts the world down I won't starve, though I must admit that I have sampled the soybeans and would rather just go right to the source and eat the dirt they were grown in instead."

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 12:16 PM

I'm so exhausted from laughter from reading those last 7 posts, I too fear what is to come.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 12:02 PM

I've herad there may be a Post2000 bug.

because of the way that Mudcat has been programmed, if there are 2000 posts to this thread, the whole program for this site will break down. and as this site is linked into so many other sites, it will trigger a Post2000bug which will cause every computer in the owrld to break down, electricty systems to short, and acid rain to fall.

I suggest storing canned food, bottled water, a can opener, and a modem.

best wishes

freda

ps I will be living in a rainforest in the top end of Australia until it all blows over...

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 11:48 AM

Oh, I get it...lesssee -- the disappearance of Earth reduces the mass in the total of orbits 1, 2 and 3 and therefore the outerplanets arer inclined to accelerate outward, but they ar elimited by the order-of-magnitude-difference of the star Sol's attractive force so they then begin acceleratin inward; although their outward acceleration was insifficient to escape the attraction of Sol, their inward acceleration is AIDED by Sol so they are more than able to slip inward in spite of their continuing outer-bound acceleration from centripetal momentum, and thus find their way heading for the Sun in spite of the fact that there is less total attraction in the neighborhood than there uised to be. Right?? But there is still a vector of deflection left over fromt heir iearlier orbit which just happens to find its own natural harmonic balance at the next orbit inward, a point at which the deflection establishes outward force exactly balanced by the attractive force combinations of Sol and planets nearer to it than (x), the planet under consideration. PLanet X therefore established a new rotational path and a new orbital path and a new series of adventures begins. Tune in next week for the latest installment in "Adventures of Carb O'Hydrate in Space: Chapter XXXCCCIX: The Carbon Oxygen Engine Reborn", as Mars relocates and finds itself once again a hotbed of moisture, sunlight, growth and inexplicable life-forms!"

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 11:26 AM

First, let's have some agreement on terminology here. Shall we call the 2000th post P2K for "Post 2000" or M2K for "MOAB 2000"? I had been calling it M2K, but if P2K is more to everyone else's liking, that's fine. Or if everyone wants to call it something different I guess that's okay too. Actually, calling it "Shrimp with Lobster Sauce" or "The Third Law of Thermodynamics" is all right if that's what you really want to do. Nobody else would be able to understand what the fuck you're talking about but, hey, whatever floats your boat.

As for who actually makes the 2000th post, anybody but William Shatner or Gargoyle is fine with me.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 11:17 AM

The gravity isn't reduced; the Sun will pull them in and they will find stable orbits one slot in (so to speak). Amos, you're still fettered with Newtonian ideas of gravity, that it's tied to mass. Mass only creates a "gravity well", much like a rock dropped on a rubber sheet. Try to grasp gravity and mass as individual entities, seperate from each other, ying and yang, eternally circling, eternally seperate and distinct. Sit on the floor wearing only a loincloth, your legs crossed, your eyes closed, your thumbs touching your middle fingers. Now clear you mind of all the Newtonian crap, like mass and gravity being mutually dependent. Are you doing all this? If so, how are you reading this?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 10:23 AM

The planets outward from where Earth used to be will slowly, slowly spiral in

Explain how reducing the mass near the center of a balanced system will increase the attraction in the outer reaches of that system, would you? I must have missed it...


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 10:18 AM

I am buying canned corn and spam and bottled water in anticlapation obv the big crash...Wo unto us all, where iz the khing? He allus knows what to do.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 09:26 AM

What does it matter who posts P2K? Posting will only work up to post 1999 and the next post will crash not only MOAB, but will bring the entire Internet, e-commerce, nearly ALL businesses, governments around the world, world-wide commerce and transportation, militaries, and 'most everything except the Yaheri-Theesa people of West Umpagug to their knees.

Then, to compound the chaos caused by the MOAB Millenium Bug, either the Galactic Overlord or Moloch or maybe freds or perhaps Big Daddy His Own Self will say "Screw it, this ain't workin' out like I'd hoped" and end the world.

The moon will bobble a bit and eventually crash into the Sun. The planets outward from where Earth used to be will slowly, slowly spiral in. Mars will take up Earth's old orbit, Jupiter will take up Mars', and so on. Harmony and Balance will be restored. And the Solar System will continue along just as if Earth had never existed.

All because of P2K at MOAB.

(sniff!) Does a feller proud to be part of it all....

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 02:14 AM

Post 1973. That means I have lessoned the posts to 2000, to 27 posts.
I think between now and 2000 posts we should, as a community of bullshitters, decide who is going to post the most remembered post- 2000.
Now personally I believe the person who does it, should have some flair, some major ability to really pull a bullshit, and some kind of strange humor that can interact with the majority of the ilk.
I believe it should be the most valuable piece of bullshit that has ever been posted on the mudcat cafe, in it's entire existence!
A piece that will survive deletion!
The piece that will live forever in the minds of MOABITES.
Who will bow down to this honor I ask?
I have no gumption to have such an honor, but... I know deep in my heart that there are many of the MOAB ilk that can hold up to this honor and distinction.
The question is... who will it be and what kind of bullshit are you going to feed us?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Jan 04 - 12:33 AM

Welcome to Post #1972. We hope you have a pleasant stay and will come back and visit us again real soon.

It's always a pleasure to see you here at Post #1972.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jan 04 - 09:08 AM

Monkey on my back.
Don't monkey with that.
Monkey wrench.
Organ grinder's monkey.
You keep monkeyin' around like that and I'll slap you into next week. (Young lady on a date with me.)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 20 Jan 04 - 12:03 AM

It's all in the way that the tree branches, past the wood tree to the monkey. The tree it passes signifies green- therefore leaving you with a wooden green monkey?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Jan 04 - 11:51 PM

Year of the Green Wooden Monkey? Why "Green Wooden"? What's wrong with just a regular old Brown Furry Monkey?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jan 04 - 11:39 PM

May the vibrations of the Universe shine upon you, Sir Tweed,
And bring to you many adoring Chicks.
Thus you will receive the Reward so long Deferred
And they will dig your Blues Soul, man!
And all will be sweet licks upon the world.

Amen

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 19 Jan 04 - 11:35 PM

In celebration of the Chinese New Year, that is fast approaching I would like to say a few words.
The new moon day , also known as The new years day will be on Jan. 22. 2004, and the year 4701 by the Chinese calander. It is the Green Wooden Monkey year. The first day of the green monkey year will be Feb. 4.
To honor this day I will now, without further delay add some inspiring thought and sayings to ... the monkey.

Chinese Sayings-
When the tree falls the monkeys will scatter.
The monkey King pulls out a hair, he says "change", it changes.

Jamacian sayings-
Di higher monkey climb a di more him get exposed
Patience and sweet talk mek di monkey [mate wid] di puss
Falla fashin monkey neva boil a good soup yet

Swami Satyananda Saraswati-
This is how the mind is. It is a monkey mind. The problem is that the monkey is a monkey by nature. If you give a monkey cognac, it becomes a super monkey. Then a scorpion bites the monkey and it becomes a super slurred monkey. Our mind is that monkey

American sayings-
The monkey claw is smelly.
Monkey Miracle: If it was put together by a monkey and it turns out to be good, that's a monkey miracle. It's a familiar dance, monkey nipples, they both know it. (George, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?)
3, 6, 9, the goose drank wine, the monkey chewed tobacco on the street car line. The line broke, the monkey got choked, and the all went to heaven in a little row boat.
What time is it? Half past a monkey's ass, a quarter to his balls.
Nobody's gonna make a monkey outta me I'll do a crooked little dance with my funny little monkey (Marilyn Manson).
Hey, Hey, We're the Monkees, and people say we monkey around.
Monkey Business
Monkey See, Monkey Do (Monkey Get in Trouble, Too)
a 1,000 monkees typing will eventually write a Shakespearean play
do the Monkey
It's so cold out there, it could freeze the balls off a brass monkey
Well I'll be a monkey's uncle
And last but not least... Everybody's got something to hide except for me and my monkey.

Happy Green Monkey New Year, Rustic

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 19 Jan 04 - 10:57 PM

Tweed you will be a chick magnet for sure!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 19 Jan 04 - 08:34 AM

Amos, thet iz my mane motif fore laernin' to play the squeezebox. Perdy girls is allus welcome, shaved or unshabven.

Today I foun a old mandolin on my desk wif the criptic markins "ges.gescht. an'Victory piccolo~mandolin Made in Germany inside. One obv the guys here got it at the flea market fore ten dollors an brung it in. It is dang near messed up beyond repair but I will try to do somefing wif it. Soon I will don me some ear rings an a bandana an become a blues gypsy I reckon and larn to do roofing and driveway repaires to mek my way.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Jan 04 - 08:47 PM

One-two-three-Tweed, one-two-tree-Tweed. If you et half as good on the Zydeco Squeeze as you are on the Electric Blues thanhy, Mayor Tweed, you'll be fending off the pretty girtls with a stick, I rackon!

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 18 Jan 04 - 08:41 PM

iarrrrgggggghhhhhh!! I can't get that noise outta me head!! Somebody shoot me!! IAiaiaiaiack!! polkacircuspolkaciruspolkacircusover&over&overagain!! ggghhhhheeerrrr! NOT THAT!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 18 Jan 04 - 07:42 PM

Well, how about that!

Hey Bee-dubya-ell. How do you embed an image in a post over there?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Jan 04 - 07:18 PM

CarolC,

You will doubtlessly be thrilled to hear that Tweed has joined the polka circus! Yes, that's right! Tweed has done bought hisself a squeezin'box fer th' sum total of $8.50 plus shippin'. Just click here and see fer yerself. A sad state of affairs indeed.

I, fer one, will play accordion when they pry my cold dead fingers from th' guitar strings and weld 'em onto th' accordion keys. I'll back 'em up, but I don' touch 'em.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 18 Jan 04 - 06:13 PM

Bee-Dubya-Ell you have done this Mudcatter and others a great service with your expurgated version of the thread. Too bad I didn't come back in time to snatch the 1954'th post for my year.

Instead of starting another thread, Amos, just bribe Joe to insert an entry at that point in the conversation. I bet he can do it. As to the ethics of it (and the effect of bumping everyone else one place off of their years) that is a matter too weighty to discuss here.

To join the spirit of the thread I will take a hint from your list of highlights and offer this photo.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 18 Jan 04 - 06:06 PM

khandu... you know what the solution is to your fiddle woes. I'm sure I don't have to tell you.

khaaanduuuuu... the polka circus is calling you... learn... to... play... the... accordion....

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 18 Jan 04 - 05:35 PM

Well I'm right on, on 1958. Thank you for saving this one for my year because it would be a long wait until the next thread that comes to 1958.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Jan 04 - 11:03 AM

Well, you old fart, it's your own fault for not being insightful enough to realize that the post number corresponding to your birthyear was coming up. It was no accident that I made post #1951. It was a planned. You should have planned ahead and snagged #1945 while it was available. Now somebody will have to start another never-ending thread so you can have a second chance.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Jan 04 - 10:29 AM

That was a year number, not a post number,Rap...

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jan 04 - 10:04 AM

Grumble, grumble, young knowitall punks, grumble, grumble, whippersnappers, mutter, grumble, mutter, mutter, wetbehindtheears, mutter, stole post 1,945 from me an' Amos, the juvenile blatherskites mutter, grumble, grumble....

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Jan 04 - 12:15 AM

Geeze you guys are Spring Chicken Triplets. No wonder you feel so affluent with time you can spend so much on this MOAB thread!!

A

(September 1945)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 17 Jan 04 - 07:51 PM

And so was I!! HAW,HAW,HAW....Thet makes us TRIPLETS. HAWWWW

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 17 Jan 04 - 05:01 PM

& I was born in '52!!!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Jan 04 - 04:16 PM

This is post #1951, which just happens to be the year in which I was born. I claim it as my own! Hah!

(Less than 50 posts 'til M2K!)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Jan 04 - 04:11 PM

Corrections to MOAB Cliff's Notes:

Amos posted a buncha stuff nobody can understand.
should read
Amos posted a buncha stuff nobody except Amos can understand.

The freds known as "Bubba Bubba" accused BWL, khandu and an unnamed Labrador retriever of being the sires of hisherits latest brood of little himherits. Debbie Earl metamorphasized into a stinkhorn fungus before the issue was resolved to everyone's satisfaction.
should read
The freds known as "Bubba Bubba" accused BWL, khandu and an unnamed Labrador retriever of being the sires of hisherits latest brood of little himherits. Bubba Bubba metamorphasized into a stinkhorn fungus before the issue was resolved to everyone's satisfaction.

Gonna fire my proofreader.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jan 04 - 03:54 PM

Amos posted a buncha stuff nobody can understand.


I resemble your insertion, BWL!! My cacophony has always been congruent and perfectly transcipient to the nth degree, providing only that a recipient on any frequency be willing to following a few elementary Herzian shifts. And I assure you, I have never posted anything I didn't, myself, understand.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 17 Jan 04 - 09:52 AM

When ever I speak of me learning the fiddle, it aint got nuttin to do with music!!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Jan 04 - 08:57 AM

For Stilly River Sage

MOAB - The Cliff's Notes

King khandu started this thread.
A buncha people thought he was crazy.
A buncha other people posted to it anyway because they like to do crazy things.
One thing led to another thing.
Another thing led to yet another thing.
(Most of the people who post to it regularly can safely be classified as "other things".)
MOAB became a pseudo-religion.


Plot-wise, these important events have taken place, though not necessarilly in this order:

Tweed was afflicted by buzzards roosting in his backyard.
CarolC posted lotsa pictures of porta-potties.
Amos posted a buncha stuff nobody can understand.
The alien life forms known as "freds" tried to eat khandu and Tweed but got sick.
Slim Piggins (BWL's pet pig) tried to oust khandu from the Throne of Mississippi but got eaten at a Memorial Day barbecue in Ocean Springs, Mississippi.
The Martian invasion was successfully repelled, but at great cost. The freds known as "Debbie Earl" was kilt.
The freds known as "Bubba Bubba" accused BWL, khandu and an unnamed Labrador retriever of being the sires of hisherits latest brood of little himherits. Debbie Earl metamorphasized into a stinkhorn fungus before the issue was resolved to everyone's satisfaction.
King khandu returned after a three-month absence. At first, some MOABites thought he had been cloned because he was being to nice. He has, since, pretty much returned to being his crotchety old self.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jan 04 - 08:36 AM

Yeah, I once tried to learn french horn. Thought it was something it wasn't, and all the young ladies played it. Thought it would would cool to play in treble AND alto clefs, but then I learned that they meant I had to learn to do it all at once. The final straw came when I found I had to stick my left hand UP THERE.

I went back to trumpet, when all you've got to worry about is emptying the spit valves.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 17 Jan 04 - 02:54 AM

Rapaire-Now you feel completly at peace with yourself and your surroundings. You don't have a care in the world. You are an enlightened being with a purpose. OR NOT.