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BS: The Mother of all BS threads
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Little Hawk Date: 09 Dec 03 - 11:17 AM Exactly. Time doesn't exist for the Divine, except as a device by which to measure change in an illusory world which equates to a sort of ongoing stage play. We are in that play, where illusion is the order of the day, and the boundaries are secured by Trinity. (up, down, and sideways) Now if 4 dimensions turns your crank, then work with the Native American traditions or the old Earth religions (fire, water, air, and earth) or a number of others. It's a perfectly valid approach also. You can also work with divisions of 5, 6, or 7 or more. They ALL work. 7 is particularly interesting, and is found in the Native American traditions as well as 4. According to Native tradition, there are 7 directions: up, down, left, right, in front, behind, and within! (the last is the most mysterious of all, and it is in mastering the last that one finds Truth or enlightenment, timelessness, and Eternity). - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 09 Dec 03 - 09:11 AM No, LH, WE live in a four-dimensional universe, the fourth being Time. Being Eternal, any Trinity must perforce exist in a Universe where Time doesn't exist. There would be the three dimensions we are so familiar with, but not Time. Instead there would be another dimension (or perhaps more), call it Timelessness. Since your Holy Trinity of Billy, Barby, and Britty would exist in this Other Dimensionality, both they are their music would be Timeless, Eternal. Perhaps, when you achieve Nirvana or Valhalla or Heaven or whatever you will find yourself surrounded by their Songs and enfolded into Their cosmic Group. "Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company," as Mark Twain said. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 09 Dec 03 - 08:50 AM Awwww RR, you do say the sweetest unintelligible things! I just hope you took some aspirin last night and got plenty of sleep!! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rustic Rebel Date: 09 Dec 03 - 04:17 AM P.S.- I'm inclined to think I should also have a gravel road named after myself. I bow to the merciful road namer and would like to submit- Rustic Rebel rambling, refreshing,reflecting, relieving,,rendezvousing,repairing,responding, resounding,resting, resurrecting, reassuring,retroflexing,runtricate road. Thank-you for consideration and I will be in your unmost debt, if you take me seriously. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rustic Rebel Date: 09 Dec 03 - 03:52 AM I can't even read this bullshit entirly. All I read is you all are making Brittany Spears somekind of 'figure'into this wonderfully enlightening thread for humankind, and it makes me want to go out to my favorite puking tree and puke. I thought we had more class than that, but in the past I have been known to be corrected, and in the future I am sure someone will try to fuck with my way of thinking and try to correct me again. All I am saying... is you can put class into a spear, but you can't take the spear out of the... No I'm not saying that, that was another self, unfamiliar to me, You can take the spear out of the jar, and then you can eat it with a self indulgent fear that it was too young to have even opened the jar, no.... I think I was once again invaded by a spirit I am not familiar with, What I really want to say is, you boys ought to get yourselves a hobby. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Little Hawk Date: 09 Dec 03 - 12:19 AM No, Amos, a Trinity is essential as the lynchpin to this whole reality, because we LIVE in a 3-dimensional existence! Therefore, a tripartite deity is necessary to stand behind this reality, even including BS. If we lived in a 2 dimensional World, we'd all be flat, and that would cause the complete collapse of several important industries, such as Wonderbra, for example. If we lived in a 1 dimensional World, everything would be compressed into a tiny singularity, and we would have no concept of individual identities whatsoever. Therefore, the Trinity is a very essential aspect of divinity in our cosmos. You don't have to be Catholic or even Christian to understand that. Could Britney be...the Messiah of BS??? The Promised One??? - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 09 Dec 03 - 12:13 AM The Holy Triumvirate... a device for the purposes of spirichool obfuscatoration? Perhaps the one them Catholics been spoutin' about fer hunnerts of years, but not The Holy Trinity of BS! As long as there is BS in the Universe, some BS will be BSier than other BS. The Holy Trinity of BS merely brings together three human individuals whose personal BS is of exceedingly fine quality. Why a Trinity? Because it has long been known that three is a special number. How many sides to a triangle? Three. How many legs on a milking stool? Three. How many tits on a boar hog? Lots more than three! Why? Because they're useless. If they served any function there'd only be three of 'em. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: khandu Date: 09 Dec 03 - 12:03 AM And Brittany is from Mississippi!!!! Home of MOAB!!! Kk |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 08 Dec 03 - 11:52 PM Well as long as it is clearly understood we are talking about bullshit, here....And as for this Holy Triumvirate, what the hell d'you need that for? I allus thought it was a device for the purposes of spirichool obfuscatoration, I did.... A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 08 Dec 03 - 11:32 PM Ach! Little Hawk's post wasn't yet up when I started composing mine. His logic is impeccable. The Father, Mother, Child thing is the capper. Britney it is. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 08 Dec 03 - 11:27 PM Ms Spears is a possibility there, Rapaire. There is definitely a heap of BS around the girl. Unfortunately most of it is not of her own making. It's mostly the product of the music industry publicity machine. Britney has been made into something way beyond her own control by people who've seen an opportunity to make money off of her. Given her own resources she'd probably be making a decent living as a topless dancer. She is not personally responsible for the BS around her. Shatner and Streisand, on the other hand, are 100% responsible for their own BS. Let's call Britney a maybe. If nobody better comes along, she just might have to do. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 08 Dec 03 - 11:26 PM "And deliver us from Rap" Don't drag me into it!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Little Hawk Date: 08 Dec 03 - 11:08 PM The search is over! It is definitely Britney Spears who is the 3rd member of the Holy Trinity of BS!!! Shatner is the Holy Father, Streisand is the Holy Mother, Britney is the Holy Child. This is so utterly cosmic that I am nearly at a loss for words. (If I were though, I would not have posted the above...which is why I said "nearly".) Our Bill who art in Hollywood Hallowed be thy name Thy Kingdom come, Thy Will be done Even in places like Schenectady Give us this day more dramatic pauses And cease not thy recording of unmatchable songs Regardless of what the Philistines may say And deliver us from Rap For thine is the Kingdom, the Power, and the Glory And thy horses are really neat too I leave it to the other members of the New Religion to compose appropriate verses of worship for Streisand and Spears... - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 08 Dec 03 - 09:49 PM Brittany Spears? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: khandu Date: 08 Dec 03 - 09:47 PM bill sables? Brent Spiner? Brett Sommers? Barry Sullivan? Bick Shay? (Tweed) Bamos Sessup? Bittle Sawk? Bats Spaw49? Kk |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 08 Dec 03 - 08:00 PM Bobby Shafto, who has gone to sea, with silver buckles on his knee. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 08 Dec 03 - 07:04 PM george BuSh? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 08 Dec 03 - 06:59 PM Sometime back it was determined that both Bill Shatner and Barbara Streisand are worthy of the title of Now, it is traditional to have holy things occur in threes. To have absolute, total, unquestioned legitimacy, the should exist as a trinity. After all, three is a magic number. I know that 'cause they told me so on "Schoolhouse Rock". Therefore, we MOABites must embark upon yet another quest! Oh boy! We really, really, really like quests! Yippee!!!! The search for the third member of the must begin immediately! The requirements are 1) he or she must have the initials "BS" (though either initial may stand for a given name, nickname, or stage name), and 2) he or she must in some way embody the spirit of BS. In other words, he or she must be full of shit. He or she may be a live person, a dead person, a fictitious person or even a cartoon (though anyone who mentions Bart Simpson may be itchin' for a fight). Please submit your nominations to this thread at your earliest convenience. (It is unfortunate that the governor of California is named "Arnold" instead of "Bertold" or there would be no need for this quest.) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 08 Dec 03 - 05:16 PM Yeah, LH. Here ya go. They've only been used once before, too. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Little Hawk Date: 08 Dec 03 - 03:51 PM Oh...I am so overwhelmed! If I was a smoker, I would need a cigarette right now. Anybody got tissues? - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 08 Dec 03 - 01:23 PM Well, LH, you had to ask.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: GUEST,William Shatner Date: 08 Dec 03 - 11:56 AM Well, hi there, mudcatlings. Got a life yet? Things are going very well indeed, and I am just as pleased as punch. If you need any tips on becoming a legend in your own time, just give me a call... - William Shatner |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Little Hawk Date: 08 Dec 03 - 11:52 AM OH! Oh! Oh! The suspense! Post 1500 could be only seconds away! Who will initiate the moment of truth? - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 08 Dec 03 - 11:18 AM Little Hawk (et Lafayette!)! Je suis retournee! Now let's go whup Kaiser Bill! Over there, over there It's a long way to tip a raree Fairwell Herald Square The Yanks are comin' born on the Fourth of July. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Little Hawk Date: 08 Dec 03 - 09:34 AM What? No one here all night? Shameful! We are nearing 1500 glorious posts. - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Little Hawk Date: 08 Dec 03 - 12:03 AM In Blind River that would be worse than a sentence of death! - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 08 Dec 03 - 12:02 AM I once met a woman from Moab, Utah. She was a fellow artist in a show in which my wife was showing and selling her quilts. She special-ordered a quilt from my wife and we were going to drive to Moab and deliver it when it was ready. Why were we going to drive from Florida to Utah to deliver the thing when UPS could do it for ten bucks? Because the woman was a friend of Edward Abbey and she told me that if we came out to Moab she would introduce us. I was stoked. Ed Abbey - eco-radical - author of Desert Solitaire and The Monkeywrench Gang - a man who hated what they were doing to his beloved desert as much as I hated what they were doing to my beloved beaches. I was gonna go to Moab, Utah and drink beer with Ed Abbey! And then the fucker went and died before I could get out there. And his friends stole his body from the funeral home and took it out into the desert that he loved so much and buried it and nobody knows where it is. And we never got to drink that beer. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 07 Dec 03 - 11:01 PM You mean I gotta go go church and can't buy beer? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: khandu Date: 07 Dec 03 - 10:56 PM HAW!!! Look at the third post to MOAB!: Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Allan C. - PM Date: 05 May 03 - 08:41 PM Not to burst your bubble, Khandu, but this has been tried before with such things as birthdays, welcome-to-new-members, remarks from trolls, and a few others - always with rapidly diminishing results. Just how big was that bubble anyway? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "always with rapidly diminishing results", hahahahah!!! Kk |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: khandu Date: 07 Dec 03 - 10:49 PM Anyone know the record on # of posts to a thread? If so, which thread? Oh, Rapaire, every day is Sunday in MOAB City! Kk |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 07 Dec 03 - 10:41 PM Wow! To get your Royal Headdress on Sunday must have cost 'em a fortune! Of course, I'm certain that it was worth every single penny. (Did you note that this is getting close to fifteen hundred posts? One thousand, five hundred times words of wisdom will have been added. A veritable fount of all knowledge, indeed!) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: khandu Date: 07 Dec 03 - 10:16 PM HAW!!!! There is much celebrating in MOAB City tonight!! Some wonderful soul just Fed-Exed me my Royal Headdress which has been missing since my forced stay at the NYCFTTS!!!!! Bless you, whoever you are! Kk |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: khandu Date: 07 Dec 03 - 09:55 PM BWL has once again excelled and risen to the office of K.O.T.!!! Kk |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Little Hawk Date: 07 Dec 03 - 07:47 PM Hey guys! I need your lyrical skills for a "To All The Girls I've Loved Before" parody...check out the music threads now! - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 07 Dec 03 - 07:41 PM The MOAB Mississippi Blues I'm goin' to MOAB Mississippi Way down in the delta land I'm goin' to MOAB Mississippi Way down in the delta land If you ever been to MOAB I know that you will understand They got turnip greens an' collards Cornbread an' biscuits by the yard They got turnip greens an' collards Cornbread an' biscuits by the yard You know I head on down to MOAB Any time that life gets hard Now the people down in MOAB They don't ever treat you mean Now the people down in MOAB They don't ever treat you mean All the women there are pretty An' khandu he is the king If you ever go to MOAB Be sure to wear your dancin' shoes If you ever go to MOAB Be sure to wear your dancin' shoes 'Cause when you're down in MOAB There ain't no need to sing the blues |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 07 Dec 03 - 07:02 PM Well, while I am honored to be included in your mental map, allow me to offer the caveat that identifying oneself with spaces can lead to great complication! :>) A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Little Hawk Date: 07 Dec 03 - 06:13 PM I am basking in the thought of that glorious stretch of 4-lane blacktop known as "Little Hawkway", snaking its way through the MOAB Metropolis. Off to the right, we see the quaint neighborhoods lining Bee-Dubya-Ell Boulevard, and here comes the exit to Amos Avenue, a street renowned for its cultural centers and towering skyscrapers...far from the noisome haunts of the notorious Tweed Alley, hangout of drunks and panhandlers... - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Tweed Date: 07 Dec 03 - 06:05 PM Yes, yes,...make light of it...Tweed Alley indeed....Mz.Rotlegge is not Tweed, az I am Tweed and thar ain't no more obv me. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Little Hawk Date: 07 Dec 03 - 05:34 PM Better that Shatner should record it himself for full effect. They may throw their underwear at Tom Jones, but they throw themselves at Big Bill! I am trying to picture the intersection of Penelope Rutledge Avenue and Tweed Alley... LOL! - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: khandu Date: 07 Dec 03 - 01:05 PM Let them be, BW. With something as wonderful as MOAB, emulation is inevitable. I would not be surprised at MOAB board games, candy bars, sledge hammers, dog bisquits or anything else. In fact, it has been rumored that Tom Jones is recording a folk song called "I wish I was a Moabite", penned by Shatner! Kk |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 07 Dec 03 - 12:53 PM Yes, even the U.S. gubbament has got into the act. CLICK HERE. Stealing the name for a WMD from this, the holiest of all Mudcat threads! The bastards oughta be ashamed of themselves. We should sue. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: khandu Date: 07 Dec 03 - 11:14 AM LH. . . I am (sniff) moved to tears by your profound, yet sensitive poetry. Truly, you do your fellow Moabites great honor! Such originality!! Rapaire, I am presently afoot in establishing a Moab, MS. All the streets shall be named after my fellow Mudcat Moabites. Rapaire Road shall run parallel with Little Hawkway. P. Rutledge Avenue shall turn into Tweed Alley, since they are one and the same! The Joe Offer Convention Center will be used exclusively for birthday parties! Others are in the planning but I have not yet determined them. Kk |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Little Hawk Date: 07 Dec 03 - 10:36 AM "M" is for his Majesty the Khandu "O" is for the Other fools who gather "T" is for the Times they post here madly "H" is for the Hellish way they blather "E" is for the End which never cometh "R" is for the Rule of Mother's Law PUT THEM ALL TOGETHER!!! THEY SPELL MOABS!!! The only thread more well-endowed than Spaw. - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 07 Dec 03 - 10:22 AM Many people aren't aware of that MOAB has spawned two actual places! The is Moab, Utah, where they have chamber music concerts during the summer in canyons, mountain unicycling, and other such nonsense. And there is some area along the Red Sea, where there are ruins such as that of Wadi Punon. Mother Rules! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: GUEST,freds Date: 04 Dec 03 - 09:30 AM We do not know if any of you live in Labrador, but if you do please note that it is beginning to drift. This is not part of the "Continental Drift" on tectonic plates, but rather due to the fact that the connection between the surface and the subsurface rocks has been severed, mostly likely by mischevious kobolds as a prank. We expect the drift to occur with the next few weeks. Except for some danger to shipping (and the captains should really be able to see Labrador drifting towards them long before it becomes a danger), there should be no problems. Unless, of course, it is suddenly broken loose by a storm, heavy traffic, a breeze, heavy sneezing, or too many people flushing at the same time. In this situation we cannot predict with any accuracy the speed or direction of Labrador. Our best guesses are that it will collide, violently, with one or more of these: Iceland, Nunavit, Ireland, the Shetlands, the Orkneys, Massa..Masach..Cape Cod, or Florida; there are outside chances for collisions with British Columbia, Paraguay, and Aduk. So, if you happen to see Lucy, we'd appreciate knowing where she's gotten to. She a black Labrador Retriever, and large, very, very large. And she likes to be scratched right behind her ears. Thank you for your assistance. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Little Hawk Date: 04 Dec 03 - 12:32 AM Har! Nice to see you back, Freds. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: GUEST,freds Date: 03 Dec 03 - 10:38 PM Hello again! Since it is a season when you celebrate, we thought that we'd take ourselves to a tavern. And behold! we found one here! By the way, if you see Lucy, our Labrador Retriever, please let us know. We'll need her to retrieve Labrador very shortly. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: GUEST,Harry Lee Wigley Date: 03 Dec 03 - 10:29 PM Thespian, the discovery on Ship Island is not the first time this writing has come to light; In 1842, a stone tablet was discovered in Bloomer, Arkansas which contained the same message. It is now on display in the Bloomer Museum & Quick Lube. The discovery caused quite a stir. A church was eventually formed called the Bloomer Stone of Moab Gospel Congregation. The members considered themselves the "Chosen" and all others were the "Philistine dogs". They also believed in chastity and purity to the point of having no sexual relations at all. Needless to mention, they died off. They are still discussed in Bloomer, often referred to as the "Moabites and their ilk". |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 03 Dec 03 - 10:18 PM Amos, have you ever seen ClintonHammond and Little Hawk together? I thought not. Nor have you ever seen Tweed and Penelope Rutledge together at the same time. For that matter, you've never seen me and you together. Ergo, ClintonHammond is LH's secret identity. Tweed and PR are one and the same. I, however, am not you. That would be fallacious reasoning, and I can prove my statement beyond any doubt whatsoever. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 03 Dec 03 - 08:54 PM MIght as well imagine that Superman was a mild mannered reporter!! Little Hawk a double for the rough-edged gem, Clinton Hammond?? Nay, so not!! For surely, if it were, then all the world is but a cloud of bad humor, and nothing shall hold firm!! A |
