BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Oct 17 - 09:32 AM

I stand, or rather sit, corrected, Amos. I believe now that you have indeed crawled the ratlines up to the foretop rear mizzen sprit.

No, Bee-Dub, I didn't bring any ice home. You see, the glaciers are flat dab-smack on to of volcanoes! I tried, but I nearly burned my little pinkies off and then I couldn't play the liar Amos had made for me. (I thought it was spelled "lyre" but he said it was "liar.")

And Amos is not alone in suffering minor medical mishaps. December 4 I will have surgery (again!) for both cubital and carpal tunnel syndromes. Fortunately, it's my left hand so I'll still be able to swing a swath with my sword.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 02 Oct 17 - 11:02 PM

OJ was released from a Nevada prison yesterday. Today, murder and mayhem in Los Vegas. Coincidence or Brietbart fact. You be the judge.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Oct 17 - 05:02 PM

In elementary school, I was told that the Vikings had a very hard time recruiting willing settlers for colonies in Iceland because the place's name, "Iceland", gave the impression that it might be a bit uninviting.

So, when a later bunch of Vikings discovered another large island that was just as cold, desolate, and uninviting as Iceland, they named it "Greenland". Settlers signed up by the droves.

The same principle has been followed by Florida land developers for decades. Would you rather live in "Holly By the Sea" or "Holly a Few Miles Inland From the Sea"? Guess which is the more accurate description of the place?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Oct 17 - 01:57 PM

Hark! New voices ring in the dusty corners of Mom's shadowy manse!

Again, I must make amends for absence, but it is so time consuming being alive and well. Actually, I have been intermittently unwell in minor ways, and will certainly post requests for sympathy should anything serious develop. Sympathy is SO useful and healing, isn't it? But today's a good day and I send my spriteliest vibrations out to all those ever touched by Mom's gracious halo of influence.

Rapparree, all is forgiven. Go ye home, start anew!

As for sailing, I can only beg to differ with your uninformed, uncharitable, uneducated, mean-spirited and curmudgeonly remarks.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Vashta Nerada
Date: 02 Oct 17 - 01:36 PM

He won't need to go out for ice soon - It's October in Idaho.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Oct 17 - 12:13 PM

Rap, are you bringing any ice back with you?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Oct 17 - 08:58 AM

Going home now.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Oct 17 - 08:54 AM

I've decided to get a tattoo that says, "I thought this tattoo was a great idea at the time."

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Oct 17 - 08:40 PM

A day without Internet isn't like a day without sunshine - because when you have no Internet you might as well go outside and enjoy the sunshine. I dug more sweet potatoes today. MOM, we need marshmallows. It's time for pumpkin pie spices in the sweet potatoes. Mmmmm!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Oct 17 - 06:37 AM

Of course. Them naughty-call hats belong on sailors. Amos ain't no sailor. He ain't climbed no ratlines up to the foretop rear mizzen sprit!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Sep 17 - 01:04 PM

I like Amos's hat better than Heff's yachtsman's cap.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 30 Sep 17 - 11:48 AM

Trump calls it a dump

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Sep 17 - 11:41 AM

Amos probably left California so he wouldn't be the one stuck clearing out the mess at the old Playboy manse. I hear it's long in the tooth and needing much attention.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Sep 17 - 10:09 AM

Of course you ain't dead yet! You've just killed off the Hugh Heffner persona so you can get back to your roots in the Cult of Yog-Sothoth, patron of North Carolina! Heff would never do that, so he had to go, and as Amos you "find" the millions and millions you put in various places around the state.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 29 Sep 17 - 09:32 AM

So Amos is the half brother.
If its not one thing its another
With Hugh's brother Keith deceased
This makes Amos famous
Lets get plastered
You lucky bastard.

Maybe you'll inherit a car

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Sep 17 - 11:58 PM

I am pleased to report that I ain't dead yet, unlike the Heff. When he was alive I harbored an ambition to wlk into the Chicago Mansion and demand the checkbook, but that dream has been OBE. Lo, how the mighty have fallen!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Sep 17 - 03:07 PM

Hugh probably has children named Nug and Yeb but doesn't know it... ahhh... knew it.

RIP Hugh and thanks for all the orgasms. Ahhhh, I mean, great articles... like the in depth interviews with Jimmy Carter, Fidel Castro, Gary Gilmore and hundreds of others. Hugh moved the consciousness of a generation (or three+) of many selling tits and ass and intelligence and compassion. What a business model! Pun definitely intended.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Sep 17 - 02:05 PM

Conclusively proven! Amos. Hugh Hefner.

All these Years, hiding his real identity. Now, he fakes his own death so that he can live in obscurity in an obscure town in North Carolina for some obscure reason (actually, he's in the Obscure Witness Protection Program [OWPP, pronounced "OW Pee-Pee"] but using his real name). His motives for this are obscure, but he may have joined a right-wing political cult involving Yog-Sothoth.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 28 Sep 17 - 12:39 PM

consult the book 'The Asshole in the Castle Beyond the Lagoon'

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Sep 17 - 09:26 AM

I am investigating the REMARKABLE resemblance between Amos and Hugh Hefner. Will post results today, I hope.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 27 Sep 17 - 11:24 AM

Hey Mom! I'm home from my extended GETAWAY trip - spent the week going to yarn stores and a dyeshop; then the 23rd and 24rth at Maryland Renaissance festival. Drove home monday and collapsed yesterday.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 27 Sep 17 - 10:10 AM

Up and at 'em, MOM.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Sep 17 - 07:04 PM

This evening I gave my next door neighbor a lesson in using a packing tape dispenser. Tip your hand down at the end, don't twist. I should have also tipped her off to the fact that it's a really great weapon. MOM knows about that, chasing off door-to-door salesman by waving the dispenser at them as they approach the front porch.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 26 Sep 17 - 09:26 AM

Hey Rap you have the spleen of a poet and a rectum full of wisdom.

"keep your mind full and your bowels empty"
Robin Williams.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 25 Sep 17 - 10:32 PM

That is some real repetitive redundancy fer sure dude

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Sep 17 - 08:59 PM

Mom!

Why do people say something is an "added bonus"?

Of course it's added! If it were subtracted, it wouldn't be a bonus, would it?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 25 Sep 17 - 12:32 PM

we call it a dishwasher.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Sep 17 - 12:10 PM

My plates are together all of the time. What's wrong with yours, Rap?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Sep 17 - 02:35 PM

Today I was where the plates come together--or more accurately, part. Thingvellir.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 24 Sep 17 - 01:11 PM

That ain't no poem. Its a parody with a limp.

Poems are disembodied outstretched souls
racing in a jet stream so quick
it takes strong legs and fast hands
to jump up and grab one out of thin air
and most importantly, write it down.
Hearts and minds play their part
but that is not where poems start.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Sep 17 - 12:11 PM

Ah, Donuel, you've the soul of a poet.

I apologize for calling Rapaire a shriveled knackwurst. It is just that he specialoizes in being so rude and offensive. It's part of his silly "superior over-inflated pseudo-solipsistic gasconade, his pretended outrecuidance, if you will. Or, in his case, even if you won't!!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 24 Sep 17 - 09:02 AM

I dreamed I heard Ali last night
alive as you or me
How is this you're 1 year dead?
"stand for war and be dumb or take a knee for freedom"
said Ali.

The old white racists hated you, they hated you said I
It takes cold silence to kill a Man, I never died said he.
"Peace is hard. War is failure. Speak a word, Lift a finger".
said Ali.

The racists are in charge again
They're in charge again said I
If you take a knee for freedoms sake We'll never be victims
Don't be silent victims.

I dreamed I heard Ali last night
alive as you or me , he said
Sometimes it takes all your strength, just to be free
Float like a cloud , sting like a bee
said Ali

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 23 Sep 17 - 07:01 PM

I can't say anything to top "shriveled knackwurst." so:

Come on, MOM, let's get you out of the basement and back upstairs.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Sep 17 - 01:08 AM

It was a grand Getaway and BBW enjoyed it (her first!) immensely. She deserves me, you shriveled knackwurst, as much as I her!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Sep 17 - 11:29 PM

It's in the low 90s here during the day. Hard to convince me that Autumn has begun.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Sep 17 - 05:32 PM

I'm still around. Just kinda 'busy' with stuff. The autumnal equinox happened about 15 minutes ago. Happy fall y'all!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Sep 17 - 06:53 AM

WHERE WAS MOM ON THE 20TH?????? In some dive, drunk and propositioning sailors again? Or worse? Are Acme and I the only ones trying to keep here out of the, ah, houses again? Well???

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Sep 17 - 08:48 PM

I met her also this year. Good thing they made that cross country trip just so we could all be introduced. :)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Sep 17 - 08:59 AM

I've met her and I wonder how Amos deserves someone as nice she is.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 18 Sep 17 - 03:18 PM

Mom, Getaway was fantastic, as usual. Met Mrs.Amos. She actually exists!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 18 Sep 17 - 03:05 PM

Glad to hear you're still alive, gnu.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Sep 17 - 10:13 PM

Sometimes that's all we can manage in a day, gnu. Congratulations!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Sep 17 - 08:41 PM

I am still alive.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 17 Sep 17 - 03:03 PM

That's brilliant knowing wonk backwards is know. A wonk knows a lot about a narrow field and knows little in general. Its like a dog that knows a lot compared to god.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Sep 17 - 01:18 PM

There are people in the world who can take old usable tech stuff from computers and use them now. eBay is where they shop. Today I'm listing old funky stuff that I used years ago, that still works, but that I can't be bothered to figure out how to put it to good use now. That's why I list on eBay.

If I was from the UK I think I'd be saying "I can't be arsed" to figure out how to use this stuff. The Mudcat influence.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Sep 17 - 12:07 PM

Hi, Mom!

Dictionary.com says the word "wonk" is of unknown origin. But have you ever noticed that "wonk" is "know" spelled backwards? And that wonks are people who know a lot? This simply cannot be a coincidence! I seem to have either solved a perplexing mystery or indulged in a meaningless exercise in folk etymology. Choose one.

By the way, the most often cited example of folk etymology is "strawberry". Most people assume the word has something to do with straw. Wrong! "Straw" is an archaic form of "strewn". They're called strawberries because they grow on vines that are strewn along the ground instead of being supported by an arbor like grapes.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Sep 17 - 10:22 PM

Often.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Sep 17 - 10:14 PM

And have you ever had the medical condition of PITA?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Sep 17 - 11:26 AM

Yeah, Bee-Dub and Acme, I've been all of those places more often than I care to admit. I've also been to FTA and FTS.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Sep 17 - 10:40 AM

And if you have difficulties traveling between those places, you're SOL. Had that happen a few times myself. (O being "outof" or "outta" - a single word in this particular usage.)