BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 11:21 AM

That's right, MMario - rub it in :-(

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 11:35 AM

It looks like Jenny got 15751.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 11:36 AM

Never mind, I was looking at a page that loaded earlier.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 12:30 PM

By the way, just because somebody has to insert something "educational" into this thread from time to time, the term "bug" is often misused to mean any type of insect. "True bugs" are insects which have a triangular-shaped plate on their backs, as does the stinkbug JennyO posted a pic of earlier (Here it is again.), or these assassin bugs. A ladybug doesn't have that traingular plate, so it's not really a bug. It's a beetle.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 12:35 PM

bug -- from the middle english bugge, akin to the low german bogge - meaning goblin

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 02:45 PM

The British scientist, Haldane, when asked what he thought about The Creator, said he had "an inordinate fondness for beetles."

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 02:46 PM

Ain't met nobody, but I've talked to Deckman.

My lapton won't work with hotel's "fast wireless Internet" and the support company accused me of changing the machine address! I wouldn't know how to do that if I wanted to!

I've gotten onto MC a couple times, very briefly, but can't post and the thing times out before it does anything. This is the first time I've had Internet access since Friday -- I blew away 249 spam!

...the sky is always clear in Seattle
Even though it rains all year in Seattle...

Oh well, I'd better get off this and let someone else use it. It's ALA's public "Internet Cafe."

Say hi to Mom for me....

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 03:03 PM

His head gurgles back beneath the gray cold waters of Puget Sound. . .

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 03:19 PM

ALas, poor Rapaire...
I knew him, Horatio,
Before the vast and feckless
Swamp of mediocrity
Did coldly bear him off,
Under its endless vapors.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 05:20 PM

He'd be much more creative if the Internet connection in his hotel, for which he lugged a laptop along, worked. Instead he's only creative in his swearing at a support guy who suggested that he somehow changed the machine address of his wireless card.

Otherwise, how is everyone? I probably won't be back until I get home on Wednesday evening.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 06:07 PM

The MAC address is hard wired into the card you use to plug into the network with, AFAIK. Don't see how you could spoof that. He must be a dull young man.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Jan 07 - 11:31 PM

I think so, too. I bet he'd shape up if he knew he was trying to bluff a LIBRARIAN! Do you have any old card catalog cards you can stick in your shirt pocket behind your glasses case and pencil? That ought to help give it away.

What, Mom? He won't know what a card catalog is?

Oh. I suppose a stack of BOOKS won't be enough of a clue either?

Then whack him upside the head with the date due stamp from the circulation desk. They're big enough, that'll get his attention.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 23 Jan 07 - 02:37 AM

And a few well placed "OOK OOK"s wouldn't hurt either.

So it's a new day, and it's that time again! What sort of special holiday are we having today? Or are we all in bed now?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Jan 07 - 10:02 AM

What's the holiday? I have to work, but I'd love to go back to bed!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Jan 07 - 10:55 AM

Hey, Amos, you might want to look here. And Rap, you might want to link the library here:

Scholarpedia

I sent this to the I Read it in the Newspaper thread even though I actually read it in my email BUT reading this online will be like what so much of us post anyway--stuff we usually read in online newspapers. (Though I often see things in the print version then shift to the computer to find the web version and that's what I post. Getting the clipping to stick and in such a way so you can each read it just doesn't work very well.)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Jan 07 - 12:30 PM

Sorry, Mom et al. I've had a busy morn and hadn't had time to announce the daily holiday until now.

Welcome to...

International Day After the Most Depressing Day of the Year!!!

Yes, I heard on NPR yesterday that, according to the calculations of some Welsh guy, yesterday was the most depressing day of the year. Looks like most of us survived it.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 23 Jan 07 - 12:33 PM

Are you sure? some of us could be the "ghost in the machine"

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jan 07 - 12:48 PM

Them scholars sure get fussy; an' they are get wrapped up in so much signification, too. Can't figger it. They tryin' to kuhmoonicayt, er whut?

I reckon it's whut.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jan 07 - 12:54 PM

YEsterday was not especially depressing for me. But maybe SOuthern California isn't included in the median rate-of-depression statistical "day" as we tend to get moony in the early morning and stay bright until all hours.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 23 Jan 07 - 12:54 PM

hey! they define LEGION

LEGION: Locally Exitable Globally Inhibited Oscillating Numbskulls

I'd say they really *must* have experts!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Jan 07 - 01:17 PM

Yeah, the guy's calculations were based upon factors like typical weather patterns for the time of year, "holiday cheer" having run its course, Christmas bills coming due, lack of any substantial cheering holidays on the horizon, etc. Personally, I expect January to suck so it doesn't bother me.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Jan 07 - 01:20 PM

I heard that story also. I made a note but I can't find it. The day I'll look forward to is his other calculation--the Happiest day of the year. He said that is, if I remember correctly, Friday June 22. Yes. I wondered why that day and have concluded that 1-it is a Friday 2- the kids are out of school so we don't have to tow the school district line 3-it isn't the hottest, most miserable part of summer yet 4-it's not the end of the month yet so I might actually still have a little money left.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jan 07 - 02:25 PM

Well, I pay as I go for Xmas, so no depression there. I don't mind my job much, so no great burden. The weather is actually kind of pleasant int hese parts just now, a gentle sunlight bathing the hills. No worries there.

I must be blessed to live among the priveleged few or something, huh? Now, Pocatello...that's a whole other kettle of, um, fish.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 23 Jan 07 - 02:28 PM

This my last post to Mudcat.*






























































*Until I get home tomorrow evening. Farewell, Seattle! I start walking to Idaho in 10 minutes! Adieu, adieu my friends adieu! I can no longer stay with you! So I'll hand my something or other on a weeping willow tree and do something or other. Heck, I don't remember all the words. Oh, by the way...the Legion hovel had a fire last night, according a phone call I received this morning. They didn't clean the grease trap for a week, and you know how fast THAT would fill up. I'll let you know more when I get home, but I understand that it caused the beer barrels stored in the basement to explode and the result was similar, but not identical, to the Great Boston Molasses Flood.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 23 Jan 07 - 02:29 PM

so - you are still in the denial phase?

There are none so blind as they who will not see

I sdspect it was no coincedence that your post was number 15777 since seven-seventy-seven is the dread Number of the MOAB

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jan 07 - 02:39 PM

Adieu, my friemds adieu, adieu
I can no longer stay with you.
I will hang my harp on the weepign willow tree
And may the world go well with thee!
Faretheewelll, for I must leave thee
Do not let this parting grieve thee,
And remember that the best of friends must part!
I will hang my harp
On the weeping willow tree,
And may the world go well with thee!

---

There will be a quiz, oh, yes a quiz! (What, a quiz?)
As to lyrics here both hers and his (her or his!)
You will all be asked to recite each line intact!
And may your days go clicky-clack!

Farethewell, and be not grieving
On a choochoo I am leaving
I can here the bold conductor call "Aboard! All Aboard!"

Farewell, as I move down the line (Long line!)
And watch the crossings mark the time (Mark the time!)
I will spend my days rolling down the railroad track,
And may your days go clicky-clack!

Red "Bobo" Johnson, Itinerant PO8
Western Wandering Before My Time

Pocatello Chapbooks and Verity Press
1962

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jan 07 - 08:11 PM

What a wasted opportunity. Sigh. Someday my timing will become impeccable, and so will my typing.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Jan 07 - 09:07 PM

But you'll be dead, where typing and timing don't matter. So don't worry about it!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jan 07 - 10:51 PM

Oh. Huh....

Hadn't quite looked at it like that.

Mom I am tired. I had to go look up who Pitot was.

I aim to retire for the night, early.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jan 07 - 10:14 AM

Well I did that, and it worked.

Next thing I knew, it was 5:10.

Another day, another peso, as they say in the old country. Really though, I think it is time khandu and Tweed came back to MOAB and took some responsibililty.



A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Jan 07 - 10:41 AM

Hi, Mom! Guess, what, today, is! Why, it's,

International, Talk, Like, William, Shatner, Day!!!

Anyone, who, doesn't, have, a, sufficient, stockpile, of, commas, to, be, able, to, talk, like, The, Shat, can, order, some, from, www.commas_r_us.com.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 24 Jan 07 - 10:45 AM

MOM!

Did you hear what he said? He should have his mouth washed out with lye soap. Better yet, LYE!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jan 07 - 12:03 PM

That would teach him to play the lyre with us!!

But why would he want, like, to, umm, lye?

BWL is, many um, things, to....many, like, people...but...he is not..a lyre. And, I would, add, he, is not... ... a sleeping, dog.. so.. we should not let him lye.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Jan 07 - 12:24 PM

My boss just got back from Seattle at the ALA meeting. I wonder if he ran into Rapaire? Probably just as well I didn't tell them to look for each other. Who knows what might have occurred if news of this thread got out and someone I know here actually started reading the MOAB? Scary thought. . .

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jan 07 - 01:04 PM

"Miss, D., may I have a word with you in my office, please?"..."Ummm..perhaps you could enlighten me as to what this "MOAB" is to which you seem to have been contributing of late?"


Wooooooeeee!! Momma!! Much too late to be so roundly busted!


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Jan 07 - 01:13 PM

Espcially since I am so roundly busted! I'm too old to start looking for a new career, one in which they have never heard of Mudcat or MOAB. . .

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 24 Jan 07 - 02:16 PM

Well, if you have to explain what MOAB is, you simply have them read through it, from the beginning. When they get to the discontinuity, their brains are sure to have died, and so you get out of whatever it was they were wondering about.

If that doesn't work, the confused numbering system will stick them into an endless loop.

There's nothing to worry about, except possibly that you're part of it...

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jan 07 - 07:17 PM

"Jezebel does not accept Ahab's God, Yahweh. Rather, she leads Ahab to tolerate Baal. This is why she is vilified by the Deuteronomist, whose goal is to stamp out polytheism. She represents a view of womanhood that is the opposite of the one extolled in characters such as Ruth the Moabite, who is also a foreigner. Ruth surrenders her identity and submerges herself in Israelite ways; she adopts the religious and social norms of the Israelites and is universally praised for her conversion to God. Jezebel steadfastly remains true to her own beliefs."


Therefore, mark ye, and learn: as ye emulate the MOABite, so shall ye be blesséd.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 07 - 09:41 PM

Beer
(With apologies to Tom Rowe)

Idaho Man grows the barley-o,
Oh the barley
He works in the sun, he works in the snow.
Oh the barley beer
Then he loads it up in a big old truck,
Sends it to Anheuser for lots of bucks.
Oh the barley, oh the barley-0.

        Oh the barley, Ole Anheuser tea.
        You killed my Grampa, killed my Pa.
        And you sure as hell are a killin' me.
        Oh the barley, oh the barley-o.

When they fought the war against the tax on cheer;
They fought it over Anheuser beer.
Old Boise put a tax on it,
All of Idaho nearly took a fit.

In the time of the two-thousand-seven bar;
Beer sitting in the Legion store.
They pumped it in it at minus twelve degrees,
A long cold night in a Idaho freeze.

Then the grease trap combusted 'cause it wasn't clean
Beer barrels done split clean in twain.
Two million gallons spilled that night
People suckin' from the gutters caused a terrible sight.

Grampa, he died a quick good way, sir.
Pa went down in the pool of pilsner.
But I won't go in a pool of blood,
I won't drown in an amber flood;
But still I'll go down to the barley, Oh the barley beer.

Hi Mom. I'm back from Seattle.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 07 - 10:32 PM

Blue skies are never seen in Seattle
And the hills're pretty hilly in Seattle
Like a wayward child growing up but pretty mild
Full of overcast and grays
Full of rain that lasts for days
Full of drizzle lasting years in Seattle
In Seattle...
In Seattle....

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 09:30 AM

Oh Mom, poor Mom, I come back and everyone except me is ignoring you and I'm feeling so glum.

Ya know, Mom, contrary to what my postings were I found Seattle to be a nice city. One that I could actually live in, if I could afford it, which I can't because I give all my money away to the poor like you taught me to. I'd better get going because I have to go to work today so that I have money to give to that poor young widow lady who has to take in lots of boarders every night and who can't even afford any more clothes than a corset or a thin tee shirt.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 10:25 AM

Did you run into any historians who are now Dean of Library in a conspicuous Texas university? Just wondering. . .

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 10:47 AM

Hi, Mom! Today is

National Purple Day!!!

Yes, it's that peculiar day when we applaud the color purple! It's the day when we express our appreciation for people who proudly proclaim their proclivity for purple apparel. It's a day to be impulsive and, perhaps, impetuous, not prudent or pusillanimous! Purchase a pair of purple pants and prance about like a prissy poppinjay! Not pink! Not puce! Not even pumpkin! Proper people prefer purple!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 11:19 AM

I think BWL is making these days up. The real national/international xyw awareness/activity days are very rarely interesting. There's talk like a pirate day, and there's always a wind up the neighbors day, often disguised as the national holiday, celebrating a time you beat them up particularly*.
    It would explain why we're trying our best to come up with some better ones, but even so, they're just not going to hold their meaning without a critical mass of people to do so, and I don't think we're both a mass and critical at the same time all that often..


* Note to any US presidents reading this. It's just one day a year you're supposed to annoy the neighbors and/or former rulers. Given July 4 is connected with the British empire, that's us. You know, that quaint little place surrounding London. Actually, on second thoughts, Canada might be a better option....

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 11:56 AM

I'm a happy purple wearer. It's my favourite colour - I LOVE it!

Of course, now we must have this poem.

Warning - When I Am an Old Woman I Shall Wear Purple

By Jenny Joseph

When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple
with a red hat that doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
and satin candles, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I am tired
and gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
and run my stick along the public railings
and make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
and pick the flowers in other people's gardens
and learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
and eat three pounds of sausages at a go
or only bread and pickles for a week
and hoard pens and pencils and beer nuts and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
and pay our rent and not swear in the street
and set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.
But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 12:24 PM

Yes, Bunn, I have to admit to making up those holidays, though I've recently discovered that there really is an "iNTERNATIONAL tYPE wITH yOUR cAPS lOCK oN dAY", but its actual date of observance is July 1. But who cares? To paraphrasae Dick Van Dyke, "Every day's a 'oliday with MOAB, 'cos MOAB makes ya feel so grand!"

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 12:31 PM

less then 200 posts to 16 thousand! Whodathunk those many moons and hundreds of thousands of words ago that the glory that is MOAB would arise?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 12:36 PM

I think we ought to have a "National Be Ten Yards Above Your Head " day, for those who don't get out often enough. And maybe a "ESP At Home Day" -- for those who ...well, you know who you are. And how about "Act Out a Past Life Day" for people like Little Hawk whose past lives are more interesting than their current ones? And "Learn a New Word in Chaucerian" for those with nothing better to do.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 01:07 PM

Hell, back in the long-ago university days, I was so proficient at speaking in Chaucerian Middle English it was scary. I was voted "Most Likely Recite the Prologue to Canterbury Tales on His Deathbed". Would it be okay if I learned a new word in Old Norse instead?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 01:15 PM

Swyve thee, Amos! Thou knowst that others use measures that differ from ours! Should it not be "Ten Yards (Meters) Above Your Head"?

And thou hast also learned a new Chaucerian word!