BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Aug 11 - 07:24 PM

Took a while to find Jimmie from those links, but, yeah, cool voice.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Aug 11 - 07:05 PM

I've been working in the yard, mowing the grass and such. Eiseley's in jail -- something about the SCA and re-enacting Lady Godiva and I don't know what all, just a few lines in what passes for our local newspaper.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 Aug 11 - 06:27 PM

MOM, the boy musta gone on a toot up in a mountain meadow with the gang from the Legion Hovel. I heard rumor someone wanted to reenact a Rendezvous campout up there. In which case, they'll roll in when the booze runs out.

That doesn't explain why Eiseley hasn't been here, except that I know she's employed and has young 'uns to tend to. She's probably out slaughtering a steer to feed the boys this winter.

I've been shopping a little this afternoon myself, nothing exciting. Too bad I live so far away from real mountains, an escape to a high pasture would be nice about now! (or, for some of you, escaping to get high in a pasture, back in the old days?)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 Aug 11 - 09:52 AM

And here.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 Aug 11 - 09:51 AM

I've been feeding some Jimmie Dale Gilmore into my mp3 player. I love his voice.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Aug 11 - 11:48 PM

gnu, you'll be pleased to know that unlike Bruce, Brandon, Peggy, Anthony Dwain, and Anna, Brenda Lee is still alive. She'll turn 67 on December 11. I'm sorry, so sorry....

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Aug 11 - 08:12 PM

You are allllways on my mind... GET OFF! Brenda. Lee me alone!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Aug 11 - 08:02 PM

You are soooo welcome, Amos! That is what I toil for here, to make you a better person, and I am delighted that my earnest efforts are bearing fruit.

Anything else I can help you with?

By the way, that is pretty close to the way Chongo charmed his way into the graces of some great White Hunters back in the 20s in "the old country". Only a few years later he was landing in New York Harbour, and the rest is history.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Aug 11 - 06:31 PM

Nice stuff, Gnuzer. Who's on yer mind?

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Aug 11 - 05:09 PM

John is a Quebecer and a nice guy.

Yes, I am bored. Why do you ask?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Aug 11 - 02:30 PM

Piss poor shot... or not? Maybe he got all the bananas?

Cute idea for a film clip.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Aug 11 - 02:23 PM

How CHongo Got His Groove Back and Escaped the Dark Continent

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Aug 11 - 01:56 PM

AFter considering Booque Manne's rejoinder I withdraw my testimonial. The allergy seems to have returned.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Aug 11 - 01:35 PM

Me an my big mouth... it's over 30C and the sun would fry my bald head in 15 minutes. Still not SRS weather but I just ain't used to it. Great weather fer killin weeds with vinegar and dish soap though.


Whaddya use on yer weeds Rap? Shotgun?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Aug 11 - 12:44 PM

That's why I created him.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Aug 11 - 11:33 AM

I owe LH a vote of thanks. Because of him I have completely overcome my allergic reaction to jejeune condescension and patronizing metaphysics!! THanks, LH!! You've made me a better person!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 06 Aug 11 - 10:59 AM

You guys were masticating the words so brilliantly, expectorating so clearly onto the paving stones of our virtual world that I thought I pissing contest might come next that it might be almost as good as an illustrated talk.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Aug 11 - 08:19 AM

"Why are all the most colorful Almighties subject to arrested development at a fourth grade level, and a fixation on body parts?"

Actually, they aren't. It just seems that way, because the immature ones make more noise. The quieter deities are equally colorful when you get to know them, in fact even moreso, but they aren't pushy about it.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Aug 11 - 11:26 PM

Why are all the most colorful Almighties subject to arrested development at a fourth grade level, and a fixation on body parts? Maybe they feel guilty about shoddy workmanship, bad design, no QA processes in place, failure to test or sloppy system integration?
A good course in comparative religions can leave you feeling like a day-camp counselor for immature Cub Scouts.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Aug 11 - 11:07 PM

Yes, but there are ladies present so I prefer not to mention how you roasted a wiener and no longer make "s'mores".

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Aug 11 - 10:41 PM

As the Author of Everything, oh, Infinite One, you are surely capable of better mediocre second-hand drivel than that, eh? EH???

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Aug 11 - 10:07 PM

Yeah, you did. Amos was out kayaking...well, there was this electric fence, you see, and he needed to answer nature's call, so rather than sink his kayak he put into a secluded beach...and as I said, there was this electric fence...anyway, he now depends on Depends.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Aug 11 - 10:02 PM

"Next you two will be in a pissing match."

"Next"?

Where have you been for the last X,000 posts? It's been oneupmanship since I arrivedin this thread. Did I miss sommat BEFORE I arrived?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Aug 11 - 09:47 PM

There are some things I do not even reveal to His Holiness. It would undermine his self-confidence.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 05 Aug 11 - 08:33 PM

Next you two will be in a pissing match. I want to see that.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Aug 11 - 07:05 PM

Ptui! Ptui! I spit upon your expectations with my superior expectoration.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Aug 11 - 06:57 PM

I expect more detail and superior expectoration next time.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Aug 11 - 03:42 PM

Go to, fellow-illusion of the Great and Sickening Mind of the One. I take orders only from our DIvine All-Powerful All-Humble Creator against whose slightest whim there is no withstanding. Nor any standing, either, come to think of it.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Aug 11 - 01:47 AM

Amos, I feel that your post of 04 Aug 11 - 09:32 PM passed your usual point of brilliant loquacity and veered sickeningly off course, ending up mired in a swamp of opaque and incomprehensible verbosity and balderdash. In short, it became a travesty. This does not do you justice!

My earnest wish is that you re-express all the thoughts therein in a less opaque and more user-friendly fashion, and it far greater length, run the result up the flagpole, and see who salutes. ;-)

I expect more detail and superior exposition next time. About 5,000 words should be enough to make fully clear what you had in mind.

Get to it. ;-D

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 Aug 11 - 10:02 PM

Amos, it obviously isn't hot enough where you are, or you wouldn't be wasting all of this energy being eloquent. It's Too Darn Hot!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Aug 11 - 09:48 PM

Only St. Eiseley has read and understood the entire thing. It is not for Mere Mortals to comprehend Mom in her fullness.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 Aug 11 - 09:47 PM

One more notch in the belt at best I guess.

The youth these days eh? No commitment.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Aug 11 - 09:45 PM

I'm supposed to have self-esteem and self-doubt problems?

Nah. If I had them things I'd have to have y'all worship and praise me, which ain't the case at all. Shucks, I don't even ask for a tithe or your first-born or anything like that. Of course, if you do feel like sending money I won't refuse it, but it's not required.

More Verses:

Trained to fly the wide world o'er
To knock down roofs and kick in doors
Leaving presents on the ground
Santa's hay gives scours all around.

Knee-deep in poop a young child stands
Searching for presents with its hands
An unneeded job, if Claus would spend
Some hoarded cash on reindeer Depends.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: DrugCrazed
Date: 04 Aug 11 - 09:42 PM

I wrote a story for you all!

There once was a student called Patrick who went by the name DrugCrazed on a folk forum called Mudcat. One day, Drug saw the famous Mother Of All BS thread but ignored it, since it wasn't bothering him. Then, after a few months, the famous thread appeared again and again. Drug was fascinated by such a thread title, but decided to leave it be again. Finally, in the 8th month of the year 2011 the naive Drug gave in and started to read the whole thread.

"Wow", said Drug "This is an interesting idea, surely one thread for all the BS on Mudcat would be very useful". He then continued reading. After a while, he glanced at the URL and nearly fell over. "Hang on, 41600 messages? Sweet Mary of Joseph, no wonder it took so long to get". Such a large number scared the young Drug and he ran to the hills, and decided to avoid the thread in future.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Aug 11 - 09:35 PM

ANd just to torment those inclined to tricks
Here is the might Forty one and Six.
And when the season shall be through
Our Kays shall mount to 42!!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Aug 11 - 09:32 PM

No, it is clear, given the rampant scathing skepticism around here, that not everyone buys into Rapparree's assertion that it was he who Authored Us All. Just look, for example, and the long chain of scathing condescension, criticism, and derogation some of us have levied on his weary person in our fathomless ingratitude. One is forced to wonder, once the first avalanche of guilt and self-abnegation clears away, why a Cosmic Author suh as Himself would author such a furbelow as a carping critic from California, a gaunt and gumptionless granola gummer with the sand of a seaturtle's spineless spittle? Why would He, the all and powerful One, generate such fractious feeble-minded febrile frivolity in his Flawless Space, and have such minor minions behave in such jackanapes manner, tossing sarcasm, scurrilous and scrofulous condemnation and barbarian barbs at his very Raiment of Perfection?

And yet it cannot be question that such is the case.

One can only conclude that He, the One, the All-Powerful, the Author of Us All, is himself tormented by a self-esteem worn a bit ragged along its very seams with self-doubt, a worrisome deep streak of abnegation of self-worth, a smidgen of Self Shaming Sneers and Snarkery riddling the gigantic hollows of his vast Mentallity, like a flock of vipers nested in the basement underpinnings of a giant Temple.

In my temporary and capriciously disingenuous pose as an independent voice, I invite your thoughts on this most profound and cosmic paradox, to know if anyone sees how it might, itself, be paradoctored.

A, humble and humiliated mock-up of the Mighty Rapparee

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Aug 11 - 05:50 PM

Just as I LOVE it when you wax all poetical and lyrical, Amos! I bet you could charm the toga right off a Greek Goddess when you do that.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Aug 11 - 05:15 PM

I jes' LUBS it when Mistah Hawk explains to us how life works. I larn SO much from his talkin'. Yes, inDEED I do!!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Aug 11 - 04:30 PM

Ha! How do you know we didn't dream you up, just to amuse ourselves? You wouldn't have any way of knowing, because we have endowed you with a fairly basic form of artificial intelligence and self-awareness, just a created character in a computer game. You appear to have free will...in fact you DO have free will within the limited parameters OF your character and of the game, because when we wrote you into the program called "Life" we gave you free will within those parameters.

You are allowed fully to do anything you decide to, within the range of your programmed capabilities.

And that, my friend is how life works! For everyone. It's just like a gigantic computer game simulation where all the characters get to explore the possibilities of the basic role they've been given...and they can even re-write the role as they go along by using their free will creatively.

That's what everyone does, in one way or another. They ARE fully in charge of their own destiny, but they have to deal with certain limitations, that's all. Generally they behave in rather predictable patterns. Occasionally you get one who really KNOWS how to make use of his or her free will, and then some profound things can happen.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Aug 11 - 04:15 PM

True. I dreamed all of you up, for example.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Aug 11 - 01:00 PM

Well said, Amos! ;-) I think you are absolutely right. We're playing in the 3-D matrix here, and we try to pick the roles that we like better, that's all. The great secret is exactly as you say it is.

Notice how common it is for people to judge other people "evil", according to the roles they have chosen to play? That's part of the delusion too. It's as if we are all dreaming, yet fully believing that the dream is 100% real. (and most people DO believe a dream while it's happening)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Aug 11 - 11:06 AM

There are myriads upon myriads of illusions and delusions available for humans to test themselves or amuse themselves or suffer with. The great secret is that some delusions are preferable to others, and even in a universe full of delusions, it is possible to navigate amongst them. IF you MUST be deluded, at least choose delusions which are preferable.

As to whether we must or not, I suspect it is unavoidable in the human matrix, although it may be optional otherwise.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 04 Aug 11 - 12:28 AM

I just had a wonderful dinner with some friends who came over from Germany. We laughed and talked, and I could hold my own in German! Tomorrow we're going over to Chesterfield and then to see the geyser in Soda Springs and taste the sparkling waters. (Ugh!)

On another subject: it's hard enough to recognize brief glimpses of truth or pure goodness anywhere, but to give genuine service to another seems like a step along the path. So, deluded or not, there must be something good in it.

Eiseley

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Aug 11 - 08:15 PM

Bravery is always to be admired and respected...in either a friend or an enemy.

It saddens me that many show great bravery while serving political causes that are unjust and political policies that are tragically mistaken.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 03 Aug 11 - 08:09 PM

I posted earlier, but see it didn't go through. Heat warping the lines, no doubt.

Too bad there is no attribution to that Hot as Hell Texas poem, just repeated postings of it. People are so lazy!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 03 Aug 11 - 07:41 PM

True of many branches of many armed services of many countries. I very much admire the US Marine Corps for their "Never leave a man behind, dead or alive." committment. True valour and true bravery and true SERVICE to each other. They are indeed to be revered and commended.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Aug 11 - 04:54 PM

I've worked with scores of Marines, and they were the finest human beings you cou8ld want to meet. Not one of them considered himself an "ex"-Marine. The Corps was in their very cells.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 03 Aug 11 - 12:55 PM

"a new ex-Marine to some of the other guys. " since he's visiting, I assume he isn't dead - which means he never made it through boot camp? Those, I am told, are the only conditions under which you have ex-marines.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 03 Aug 11 - 06:19 AM

Found this on the internut...


Ode to Texas

The devil wanted a place on earth
Sort of a summer home
A place to spend his vacation
Whenever he wanted to roam.

So he picked out Texas
A place both wretched and rough
Where the climate was to his liking
And the cowboys hardened and tough.
He dried up the streams in the canyons
And ordered no rain to fall
He dried up the lakes in the valleys
Then baked and scorched it all.
Then over his barren country
He transplanted shrubs from hell.
The cactus, thistle and prickly pear
The climate suited them well.

Now the home was much to his liking
But animal life, he had none.
So he created crawling creatures
That all mankind would shun.
First he made the rattlesnake
With it's forked poisonous tongue.
Taught it to strike and rattle
And how to swallow it's young.

Then he made scorpions and lizards
And the ugly old horned toad.
He placed spiders of every description
Under rocks by the side of the road.
Then he ordered the sun to shine hotter, Hotter and hotter still.
Until even the cactus wilted
And the old horned lizard took ill.

Then he gazed on his earthly kingdom
As any creator would
He chuckled a little up his sleeve
And admitted that it was good.
'Twas summer now and Satan lay
By a prickly pear to rest.
The sweat rolled off his swarthy brow
So he took off his coat and vest.

"By Golly," he finally panted,
"I did my job too well,
I'm going back to where I came from,
Texas is hotter than Hell."



Please Lord, now that he's gone, won't you send rain?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Aug 11 - 02:24 AM

I like cats ... but I can hardly ever eat a whole one !