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BS: The Mother of all BS threads
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 19 Jun 09 - 04:41 PM WE HAVE A BOX OF OATMEAL!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 19 Jun 09 - 04:29 PM T And therto he was sleigh and ful privee, A chambre hadde he in that hostelrye Ful fetisly ydight with herbes swoote; And he hymself as sweete as is the roote His Almageste, and bookes grete and smale, His astrelabie, longynge for his art, His augrym stones layen faire apart, On shelves couched at his beddes heed; And al above ther lay a gay sautrie, On which he made a-nyghtes melodie So swetely that all the chambre rong; And Angelus ad virginem he song; And after that he song the Kynges Noote. Ful often blessed was his myrie throte. And thus this sweete clerk his tyme spente |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Little Hawk Date: 19 Jun 09 - 04:25 PM When I think of your BOOKMOBILE, Rapaire, I am eaten up with envy so badly that I can hardly go on living! You are so far up there in my estimation that it's just...just...well, it's ineffable. How I wish I had a BOOKMOBILE of my own! (sob!) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 19 Jun 09 - 04:02 PM ♫♫ Rapaire has a bookmobile! It has some doors and a steering wheel! My God! How good it makes us feel! Rapaire has a bookmobile! ♫♫ There! Feel all better now, do we? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 19 Jun 09 - 03:22 PM Either you guys congratulate me on the Bookmobile or my postings about it are going to get more and more and more obnoxious..... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: VirginiaTam Date: 19 Jun 09 - 03:14 PM twentynine thousand eight hundred and fifteen jes becuz |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 19 Jun 09 - 03:10 PM (All the way home). |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 19 Jun 09 - 01:41 PM It's one of the operational side-defects of solipsism, BWL--anyone right near the "I" is considered a "We", to compensate for the wee weewee. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 19 Jun 09 - 01:25 PM Who's this "We" person? I don't have a bookmobile. I have a GMC van, a Toyota Corolla, a canoe, a paddleboat, and a wheelbarrow. No bookmobile. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Janie Date: 19 Jun 09 - 12:44 PM We do? Can I drive? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 19 Jun 09 - 12:32 PM And the proof, as always in such matters, is on the registration papers, clearly signed by an agent for the Pocatello Library by the name of John Hancock.... A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 19 Jun 09 - 09:21 AM |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Little Hawk Date: 19 Jun 09 - 07:54 AM LOL! Lovely solstice gift. Boy, that Conan O'Brien is a bit of a wild man, isn't he? Very histrionic. Downright rude. Bill should have put the Vulcan death grip on him... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Janie Date: 19 Jun 09 - 03:22 AM My solstice gift to Little Hawk. http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/showbiz/2009/06/18/dcl.shatner.flips.conan.cnn |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Janie Date: 19 Jun 09 - 02:01 AM Hi moM. Sorry to have been neglecting you, but it appears that the others have been keeping you well entertained. Up late trying to get IE on my son's laptop to work right after installing Spybot (and then trying to uninstall it and getting error messages. If I had gone to bed when I was supposed to I would have missed the grey fox still prowling around the front yard to the music of the screech owls calling back and forth. Headed up to Ma & Pa's in the green rolling hills of West-by-God-Virginia after work tomorrow to see my great aunt, in from Florida, and my great-neice, age 1, in from Long Island. Will also miss most of the blistering hot weather here in doing so. We will be 5 generations together. Neat! Will be on a real coffee jag to stay awake until we get there about midnight, being as how it looks like I'm gonna be lucky to get more than 3 hours sleep tonight. Sum Yung Sun now has his learners permit so he can do some of the driving. Unfortunately, I will need to be awake for it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 19 Jun 09 - 12:01 AM Good night, sweet Prynce of books! May Heaven bless your slumber! And bring you dreams of books galore, ANd readers without number. A million minds fed by your work! Rich on your hallowed stores! Who bring back every book on time, And politely ask for more. And Bookmobiles of marv'lous size, Many, and large, and Great. But please take care, when this comes true, You do not forge their plates! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 18 Jun 09 - 11:50 PM But when we've practiced for a while How vastly we improve out style. --Dorothy Parker, I think. WE HAVE A BOOKMOBILE!!! The City Council approved the MOU that will permit us to accept a 31 foot Winnebago (with wheelchair lift) from the United Way. Mom, I've had a 12+ hour work day. I'm going to bed now. Nighty-night. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 18 Jun 09 - 10:31 PM Oh what a tangled web we weave When first we practice to deceive. Rapaire |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 18 Jun 09 - 10:17 PM Where elephantine steps go, elephant shit follows. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Little Hawk Date: 18 Jun 09 - 09:55 PM This is good, Rapaire. Amos is now getting so engrossed in tracking down your plagiarising of him and exposing it that he won't have time to get anything useful done. ;-) He may even crack under the strain. He may get too distracted to notice the tunnel we're digging under his foundations....or the truck that's bringing in the plastic explosives. Meanwhile this thread rapidly approaches the awesome benchmark of 30,000 posts! Do I hear the faint sounds of elephantine yet suave footsteps approaching from Hollywood? Does the name "William Shatner" come to mind? It does. Truly, we live in momentous times! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 18 Jun 09 - 07:38 PM Most unusual. Obviously I have single-handedly proven able to do what a hundred monkeys could not. Rapaire, give o'er--don't make me go track down chapter and verse of my posts, word for word identical to the ones about which you explicitly wrote, "I did 'em, Amos. Would I do else? And if you think so, you still gotta prove it...". There are, for example, only two posts in the Forum containing the expression "ostrich wel". One is you rplagiarized one, and the other is my 2007 original: 0.8169 - Thread - Message - RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads - Jun 17 2009 6:53PM - Rapaire 0.8169 - Thread - Message - RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads - Mar 5 2007 12:34PM - Amos Similarly, there are three posts which mention a "poor ne'er-do-well": my original, the posting of my original to the anthologizing thread, and your plagiarized copy: 0.8351 - Thread - Message - RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads - Jun 17 2009 10:11PM - Rapaire 0.8351 - Thread - Message - RE: BS: Poetry about Mudcat - Apr 4 2007 11:39AM - Amos 0.8351 - Thread - Message - RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads - Mar 22 2007 11:04AM - Amos Now there are SEVEN posts in which the phrase "Absinthe made thee" appears. The first six are my own tiresome repetition of the tale, one of which is exactly copied in your single use of it: 0.7742 - Thread - Message - RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads - Jun 17 2009 8:36PM - Rapaire 0.7742 - Thread - Message - RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads - Feb 18 2009 5:27PM - Amos 0.7742 - Thread - Message - RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads - Jan 3 2009 10:20PM - Amos 0.7742 - Thread - Message - RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads - Mar 17 2008 11:44AM - Amos 0.7742 - Thread - Message - RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads - Sep 7 2007 10:44PM - Amos 0.7742 - Thread - Message - RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads - Mar 28 2006 5:46PM - Amos 0.7742 - Thread - Message - RE: BS: New Sayings - Mar 29 2001 11:09PM - Amos Any questions? A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Little Hawk Date: 18 Jun 09 - 07:18 PM I have such a program here as well, Rapaire. It is set to match the keyboard efforts of a room full of drunken monkeys and spew out vast amounts of what equates, basically, to verbal diarrhea (?), devoid of useful content, yet impressive in its sheer volume... The odd thing is, though, it keeps coming up with stuff that reproduces almost word for word things that Amos has posted at one time or another on this forum. Strange, isn't it? ;-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 18 Jun 09 - 06:15 PM ON THE BLOODY CONTRARY!!! I never asserted authorship, not once. What I posted came from a program on my computer at home which generates random words in a random order, similar to the hypothetical monkeys typing the works of Shakespeare. And because I post what the program spewed forth I am castigated! Woe is me! When I return home I shall uninstall that fickle, feckless program. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Little Hawk Date: 18 Jun 09 - 05:46 PM Well, Amos, I feel that your implication that Rapaire's frequent use of plagiarism is a willful behavior rather than a born and immutable condition beyond his conscious control is the keystone of your ignorance. From false premises all things--including bizarre tangential zig-zags--are possible. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 18 Jun 09 - 05:21 PM Oh, Little Hawk, I am so sorry I was not making myself clear. 1. Rapaire has a long history of posting other people's work and not indicating whose it was, leaving the less acute to surmise he was generating it himself. 2. Of late he (for reasons I cannot imagine) dug up three such original works from pasts posts I had written, and in a fit of the most imitative flattery, posted them here over his own name without reference. When I called him on it, he asserted most brazenly that he had done the owrks in question. 3. I saw fit, therefore, to chastise him by reposting my own piece on the Fate of the Plagiarizer, to remind him of his sins, plus one or two other things. Now, what about that is unclear, unspecific, or inexact in your fevered view? A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Little Hawk Date: 18 Jun 09 - 05:15 PM Amos, it isn't your overloaded prose and your flamboyant verbal pomposity that trouble me...in fact, I find them entertaining on a slow day. Neither am I offended when you veer into pretentious and interminable soliloquies masquerading as humorous "art". No, what troubles me is the bottomless spew of vague generalizations and unanchored negative nabobbery, the clouds of flimsy propositions without coherent referents, the categorical defamations without relevant detail, and the other forms of scurrilous semantic bandaloggery that make you so hard to understand. My impression is that bringing about understanding is really not very high among your priorities which seem more weighted in favor of obdurate rightousness and histrionic venting. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 18 Jun 09 - 04:23 PM Those without wit to create or plagarize Will often turn to anthologize. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 18 Jun 09 - 02:02 PM I had a friend, upon a time, and a mighty friend was he. His tongue went loop-de-loop-de-loop, and his blade went "Snicker! Snee!". His fingers typed words of delight Dancing like light gone mad, But he disappeared quite late, one night, And the story turned out bad. It seems his door was knocked upon, When most folks were in bed, By two large gents in wrinkled suits And large, and wrinkled, heads. They said he had been singled out, That someone Big was pissed, Berated him as a useless lout, And a goddamned plagiarist. They listed tomes and poems and works He'd borrowed for a while, And touted up and frilled out In inimitable style. The said he'd never paid a dime To those whose works he'd borrow, And all of this was coming back, To visit him with sorrow. They told him he was going away, Into the darkling deeps Where bad men worry through the day, And fret too much to sleep. Where hard men break, and life is hard, And you scramble for what you get, And there's no such thing as e-mail, OR a high-speed Internet. My friend, he blanched, he paled, he flinched, He knew that he'd done wrong, He knew that even then his screen Held a half-baked stolen song. He realized then -- too late, too late -- He should have listened, way back when, To his dear Mom; too late, too late, He was heard from ne'er again. And so I come to this Cafe, To write, and to forget, But something still recalls to me This friend I think on yet. I never learned if he had ever re-crossed that chilling schism That split him from the world he loved, On account of plagiarism. So good folks all, pray heed this call, Think of this man, cast doon, And make your good works all your own, From your own hand, alone. Steal not the works of other men, Or lines of other poets; For if you do, they'll come for you, And everyone will know it. Seamus Sanmerci O'Toole Lilting the Right -- Poems from the Lexington Express Dublin Upp Press, New York, 1937 All rights reserved except for Bearded Bruce |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 18 Jun 09 - 02:00 PM The Icons of Mudcat are brave souls and bold, And folks to whom fear is a stranger, They don't flinch at trolls, or at snidety cold, Nor at anger or spam, or at danger. It is not for the words that these honorable birds Continue to say things that matter! They are not just yakkers, but thinkers, not slackers, But hard working friends of Mudcatters. They are strong, but serene -- not just talking machines! Beware how you choose to malign them! For the good that they seek's not the words that they speak! 'T is the noble ideas, sir, behind 'em. B.S. Jelliott Poet Laureate of the Lesser Vowels |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 18 Jun 09 - 01:28 PM Far past the unsheathed range of night, Beyond the plane where mortal beings stress, Struggling to master lesser rights And fearing greater wrongs to e'er confess, Beyond the realm where human turmoil reigns And cruel force reduces all to nil, There is a sphere, free from contriving pain, Where all is whim, and light, and Will. In these high ranges darkness yields to light, And high creative spirit bans duress; Here is the answer to the mortal night, Immortal font of all true, pure, B.S. None here does suffer from confusion's strains Nor stumbles, crushed in flesh and will; Here doth every soul their right regain, And in creative honor shine both bright and still. These are the powerful sources of our Mother's hand, Which do inform her every smile and turn; Then, stranger, follow, to a better land, Where bright B.S. doth every honor earn, And proud BS' torches burn, and burn. Antony Anstyly Where Dwells The Not Murk and Maunder, pubs. New London, 2001 |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 18 Jun 09 - 01:14 PM You braggardly snake-in-the-grass; do you think I do not recognize my own style? For fie, for foo, you trifle with me in a most unbecoming way. Tell your wife your suits are all full of holes. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Acme Date: 18 Jun 09 - 11:51 AM |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Acme Date: 18 Jun 09 - 11:50 AM Hay, Little Hawk, Shatner got himself (or his middle digit of his right hand) pixilated on Conan. Gasp! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 18 Jun 09 - 09:14 AM I did 'em, Amos. Would I do else? And if you think so, you still gotta prove it. And my wife's a LAWYER who taught me all sorts of law stuff about untellectual properties and things. So I just say to you, "Ipso ex post facto, de minimis non regit lex", which was clearly established in U.S. v. Burr, Ariz. Terr. v. Wyatt Earp, et al., Crown v. Louis Riel, and of course, Falwell v. Flynt. And this can all be ultimately decided, as so many cases in the Old West have been, by the precedents set in such cases John Henry Holliday, et al. v. Clanton Family, et al., City of Northfield, Minn. v. Frank and Jesse James, et al., City of Coffeyville, Kans. v. Gratt Dalton, et al., and many others. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 18 Jun 09 - 12:12 AM Um...Rapaire...it is not advisable to revert to your plagiarizing ways, old son. Give signatures where you may and credit where it is due, I allus sez. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Acme Date: 17 Jun 09 - 10:32 PM Has MOM set some kind of record yet? Has anyone inquired? (If so, what happens then?) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 17 Jun 09 - 10:11 PM I left my parents' homestead "Succeed!" they did often me tell. And little did I think I would shame them By the cruel fate, that then me befell. I wandered from city to sity, Endeavouring my talents to sell, But my efforts did fail, and at the end of my trail, I'm only a poor ne'er-do-well. I'm only a poor ne'er-do-well. I'm only a poor ne'er-do-well. At the end of the line, I look 'round me and find, I'm only a poor ne'er-do-well. So I wandered to far distant regions, I hoped to leave shame far behind, 'Neath the Idaho stars, in the cheapest of bars With worry my poor face is lined. I cannot reach Upper CLass Heaven, Not even Middle Class Hell, I'm afraid in my time, I will turn next to crime, As a nefarious ne'er-do-well A nefarious ne'er-do-well! A nefarious ne'er-do-well! I have fallen so low, to my fate I must go, As a nefarious ne'er-do-well! So come, all you lads from the city And may your endeavours be blessed, Take a lesson from me, No ne'er-do-well be! Go become a nefarious success! Become a nefarious success! Become a nefarious success! Take a lesson from me, No ne'er-do-well be! Go become a nefarious success! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 17 Jun 09 - 08:55 PM My lover came to see me; I served him my very best! Cappucino and a Scottish scone Most elegantly pressed He kissed me before eating And in a manly show He shoved that whole scone down his hatch The whole thing in one go. The crumbs they flew like fireflies All across my kitchen floor His shirtfront with them was covered up Sure half a pound, or more! He held me hard when parting It made my heart to throb I could scarcely to speak to tell him he Was a true, God-awful slob. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 17 Jun 09 - 08:36 PM Yeah, look what it did to Henry Fonda! He got so drunk on it one night that he ran off and shacked up with the chambermaid for the night. Of course, he was aghast when he woke up the next morning and hastily beat a retreat, covered with embarassment. He never acknowledged the girl, even though it later turned out she was pregnant as a result of the liaison. She gave birth to a boy, but gave up on trying to get Henry to take responsibility, settling for some payoff or other to forget about it, and she moved up to a small coastal town in Oregon and raised the lad --whonm she had named Hargrove, after her own father--as a single mom for years. Finally when he was about nine, he asked his mother where he had come from, and she had to face the big question of how much to tell him. She looked at him sadly and said, ... .... "Absinthe made thee, Hargrove Fonda." |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 17 Jun 09 - 07:34 PM My, you are rife with tangential rockets today!! Lovely bit of doggerel or birderel. I see you've been reading the thread on rapid erection equipment. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 17 Jun 09 - 06:53 PM I want Big Bird Viagara Oh, Big Bird Viagara, Big Bird Viagara, Fast as light and strong as hell. Gimme Big Bird Viagara! Big Bird Viagara! Big Bird VIagara! To make my ostrich well. Swell, swell, swell! Make my ostrich well. Them idle-handed no-good slackers Settin' off them firecrackers, Blew my emu's self-esteem, Sixteen ways to hell. So I want Big Bird VIagara Big Bird Viagara Gimme Big Bird Viagara, To make my Ostrich well. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 17 Jun 09 - 04:55 PM Your aim of sur-reality is being handsomely fulfilled, Rapaire. IS there any referent to your post about something being an unqualified opinion? Or is it just a bit of free-floating fugue on your part? A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 17 Jun 09 - 04:16 PM Of course it's an unqualified opinion. It was then and it is now. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 17 Jun 09 - 03:41 PM A Brief Walk with Mom DOwn Memory Lane. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 17 Jun 09 - 02:57 PM He certainly has the best CV he could have!! Send us a recording, then! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 17 Jun 09 - 02:21 PM His name is Robert Johnson. Plays a GOOD flamenco guitar -- we're going to put him on the TV show tomorrow and see about getting him on the Library's radio show as well. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 17 Jun 09 - 02:19 PM Is THIS the guy? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 17 Jun 09 - 02:13 PM Wow! Studying with Montoya, Segovia, and John Lennon is no mean feat! Especially for a flamingo! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 17 Jun 09 - 02:03 PM Lousy in the new part, fine here in the old. By the way, he studied with Montoya, Segovia, and John Lennon(!). |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Acme Date: 17 Jun 09 - 01:58 PM Now that sounds great! How are your library acoustics as a music venue? |
