BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 28 Feb 05 - 01:27 PM

Mom? Can we talk a sec?

I got a confession to make.

You know all those copycat threads that pop up? You know how you've always said spread the BS here and not air it in public?

Mom, I...

oh, god, this is embarressing!

well - I keep reading THIS thread title as 'Dehumidification as a Political Tool'

and Mom, I have to admit - a REALLY REALLY REALLY want t start a thread with that as the actual title.

Does this mean I need therapy? Please, Mom, tell me I won't end up like , uh - well, y'know, those guys?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MOAB
Date: 28 Feb 05 - 02:01 PM

Dear MMario,

Go ahead and do it if it'll make you feel better. But you know it probably won't. You just think it will.   

Face it, hon, a couple of your siblings are idiots. Do you really want to pattern your behavior after dunderheads? Don't get me wrong, they're my children and I love them. But they're morons.

And, anyway, if you do start a moronic derivative thread you will probably be abused by others. You will be called stupid. Do you really want to subject yourself to such humiliation? Some of your siblings seem to be too imbecilic to recognize an insult when it's thrown at them, but you aren't that way, are you?

Love,

Mom

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Feb 05 - 02:22 PM

Now that was real nice--reminds me of some of the notes my mother left for us after she went back to work, when we'd get home from school to an empty house. And she signed them "MaMa."

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 05 - 03:31 PM

Mom? I gotta confess too. I keep reading this thread as something else. Please forgive me.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 05 - 03:32 PM

Mom? I keep misreading a lot of threads.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 05 - 03:32 PM

And wanting to snag palindromic numbers, Mom.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 28 Feb 05 - 03:46 PM

I've heard that snagging palindromical numbers can make you go blind Rapaire! Or grow hair on your palms. Or BOTH!

And it makes golf balls appear in your back yard.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 05 - 03:49 PM

Dang! I thought those things were just really hard mushrooms. If they're really golf balls it explains why the take so darned long to cook.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Feb 05 - 04:01 PM

You just don't know how to slice them.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 05 - 04:05 PM

I thought I was being "green" by collecting them. The hook had been set when I went mushroom hunting as a child, but I guess I was just puttering around. Now I take a drive and get them at the store down at the tee junction -- Eagle, I think it's called.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Feb 05 - 04:42 PM

A little birdy has now informed me someone is throughly off their tee. I think it must have been the ninth hole that did it. Most folks can't manage 6 of 'em!!


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 05 - 05:13 PM

Not the ninth, but the nineteenth.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Feb 05 - 11:06 PM

You beat me to it, Rapaire. It's that 19th hole that gets a lot of people into trouble. It's as bad as shearing sheep in the bar (if you know that song). Never call for tar.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 05 - 06:46 AM

Hey M-O-O-O-M!!!

Jump up!!!!

Can't have this sort of lackadaisical descent going on in this house, no-siree-bob.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 05 - 07:00 AM

4UI live
4UI strive
Hey, Mom guess what!?
6565


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 01 Mar 05 - 09:49 AM

'mornin' Mom.

Today I want to discuss my work ethic. How come I got stuck with one? Most of the people I work with don't have one, or a very weak one. No, I get stuck with this work ethic thingie. I blame it on New England upbringing, combined with the Old World Italian family connections.

It's a real pain in the patootie, Mom. I could really use a couple of "Mental Health" days if you know what I mean.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 05 - 10:00 AM

I'm collecting the palindromic numbers, because if you get enough of them Bill Gates sends you money. I got an email that told me that.

Also, I got an email about this little boy who wanted get-well cards because he wants to get into the Guinness Book. So I think a quasi-normal MOABite should get in The Book as well:

Bee-Dubya-Ell is a little boy who lives in Florida. He's called that because he parents abandoned him when they found out he had Prethanatopic Monoxygenate Syndrome (PMS). Bee-Dubya, as he's called by those who know him, is a cute kid. He lives in a swamp, where there are copperhead snakes and alligators. Poor little Bee-Dubya would like to be in the Guinness Book of World Records for having the most cards. He doesn't care what suit the card is or anything, but he'd like to have the most cards. A complete deck is not necessary, as he's used to that, playing without a full deck. Won't you help him fulfill his dream by sending him your old, scummy, rat-eaten, moldy decks of cards? If you do he won't have long to live.

There. That's heart-string-jerking enough.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 05 - 11:01 AM

(Sniff)


...


(Sniff. Sniff.)

...


...

Shucks, Rapaire. I yam touched in mah heart by yore genteel civility and decency.

(Sniff.)

....


Say, MM, if yore metal health is suffering, whynchew jes' say so! Tell 'em you've been dreaming about double-barreled recreation devices and cain't take it no more.... Tell 'em you are thinking of having your fingers coated in platinum to prevent viruses from reaching you from the keyboard. Or having your skull plated in stainless. As part of an intensive metal health program.

A




A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Mar 05 - 11:35 AM

There are almost no copperheads in Florida, Rapaire. There are a handful over in the Tallahassee area in the Appalachicola/Chattahoochee River drainage, but none here in northwestern Florida. There is a Florida subspecies of cottonmouth water moccasin whose juvenile coloring is similar to a copperhead which leads to a lot of misidentification among those who don't have the same fetish for Peterson's Field Guides that I have.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 05 - 11:40 AM

Truth doesn't matter on the Internet.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 05 - 12:02 PM

Rapaire, you take that back!!!! I'm gonna tell.

Of course Truth matters wherever it is found. It just is found less on the Internet.

I betcha there was a significant increase of untruthery when the phone network was established as well.

You could hyPOTHecate that the human impulse to pass false communications rises directly proportionally to the total speed and volume of communication made available to the population of interest.

This means that a certain proportion of people are being forced into communication when their integrity isn't up to it and they would be better off left alone.

Ya think?

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Mar 05 - 12:05 PM

We have these sweet little Western Earth snakes (Virginia valeriae) and stoopid people kill them then announce "I killed a water moccasin."

I typically dig these guys up when I turn over the veggie garden and the beds out front. That's when I dig in them at all, because I have regular bunny nests in the front beds, and tarantula colonies that I don't want to disturb. Using a spade fork has probably saves the population much grief, instead of using a shovel, since they burrow in the dirt and I see them when they slither out of the bed I'm weeding.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 01 Mar 05 - 12:08 PM

did you find that out at the hyPOTHecary?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 05 - 12:12 PM

Okay, Amos, I take it back. Everything on the Internet is Truth.

SRS, why do you have beds in the front yard? Don't you get wet if it rains?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 05 - 12:29 PM

Rapaire, take that back too.   

Those are fair weather beds, anyway.

They get a lot of that in Texas.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 05 - 01:37 PM

Okay, I take that back too. There is nothing on the Internet.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Layah
Date: 01 Mar 05 - 02:05 PM

There is no internet.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 01 Mar 05 - 02:30 PM

existance is futile. MOAB will assimilate.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Mar 05 - 03:25 PM

All Your Base Are Belong To Us

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 05 - 03:34 PM

That Raspaire -- always on the ball with the quick comeback!! Dang, I yam glad he's on our side... ... ...


but then, what do I really know?


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 05 - 03:56 PM

Of course I am. You are all my creations. Were I not on your side you wouldn't exist.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 05 - 04:03 PM

One thing about solipsism -- it does wonders for your confidence.

Not to mention your T index!!


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 05 - 04:54 PM

Why are the ads currently at the bottom of the page for "Snow Scoop" and "Shovel"? Are the computers trying to tell us something?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Mar 05 - 06:08 PM

Let me ratchet the conversation back a few hundred posts: I was reading the Library=Trash thread (good ol' jOhn!) and found Don Firth's link to an article about a Seattle Librarian. Here is a paragraph from said article:

P.F. Kluge's "Biggest Elvis" is one of those friend-defining novels that come along every so often. If you meet someone and discover in the first 10 minutes of conversation that you've both read and loved Kluge's quirky first novel, why then you've probably made a friend for life.

Am I the only one who notices THAT WORD? And that it appears to be a NAME? (Or is there a "D" in it?)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 05 - 06:32 PM

And you cannot budge, even with a nudge, that it rhymes with "fudge."

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 05 - 07:56 PM

...in the original German, I am sure. In this country, as a common noun, it rhymes with "rouge", "stooge" and "louge".


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Layah
Date: 01 Mar 05 - 08:01 PM

I don't know what louge is, but rouge and stooge don't rhyme they way I say them. Stooge has a g that is like j in jump and the rouge is a soft one like they have in french, like in beige or the way some people say garage.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 05 - 08:17 PM

Well, maybe I mis-represented theexample-- rouge is the closest rhyme I can think of but kluge is a little lumpier in the g.

Definitions of kluge on the Web:

1. A ramshackle, barely competent device, whether in hardware or software. 2. A clever programming trick intended to solve a particular nasty case in an expedient, if unclear, manner. Often used to repair bugs. 3. Something that works for the wrong reason. In 1947, the "New York Folklore Quarterly" reported a story Murgatroyd the Kluge Maker then current in the U.S. Armed Forces, in which a kluge was a complex and puzzling artifact with a trivial function. kluge was also Navy slang during World War II for any piece of electronics that worked well on shore but consistently failed at sea. The variant kludge was popularized by Jackson Granholme, [How to Design a Kludge, Datamation, February 1962, 30-31] who defined it as: "An ill-assorted collection of poorly matching parts, forming a distressing whole."
www.astron.nl/aips++/docs/glossary/k.html


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 02 Mar 05 - 07:59 AM

In english, it is spelt with a D. kludge.

Is it German in origin? Yiddish? any other offers?

German origin is presumably 'klug'-clever, intelligent, bright

Google- Rhyming software and translation engines

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Mar 05 - 08:15 AM

Here's a definition in need of a word:

"The tendency of a small, insular group of people to argue incessantly among temselves over the exact meaning, derivation and pronunciation of obscure words with which the majority of the population is largely unfamiliar."

You may adapt an existing word to this new meaning or make up an entirely new word. All entries must be posted by 12 noon MCT, Thursday, March 3rd. The decision of the judges shall be final.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 05 - 08:35 AM

Last time a judge decided something in something I'd entered I barely escaped hanging....

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Layah
Date: 02 Mar 05 - 09:22 AM

I've never before heard kludge, which webster.com says also has alternate spelling kluge. They also kindly pronounce it for you, rhyming it with stooge, or alternate pronounciation is two sylables klug-ee. Etymology unknown, the meaning is a lot more restricted only having to do with computers. There are a lot of sound changes that are regular between German and English, and g to j is not a common one. That doesn't mean it can't be though, lots of fluke sound changes as well as the regular ones.

Bee Dubya, I think what we are doing is commonly known as bickering. Isn't it a fun game?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 05 - 09:22 AM

...and that was just because his defense attorney argued hanging was too good for 'im, and he was very persuasive!

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 05 - 09:31 AM

There yah go!! Definitive and authoritative. Rhymes with STOOGE. All you pudgy fudge lovers can take your sludge elsewhere. Kluge is rouge!

BTW although it became adopted by earlier computer specialists, it goes back to the early 60's among merchant marine engineers tom my certain knowledge. I believe as well it could be found in the Navy.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Mar 05 - 09:33 AM

STOOGE - pron. STOW-GHEE

therefore kludge rhymes with STOOGE = KLOW-GHEE

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 02 Mar 05 - 10:06 AM

sorry - 6595 was me.

it's snowing again today. I think the stupid groundhog fibbed. Spring cannot be only three weeks away.

But it is only 17 weeks and 3 days until my "home" faire opens - which is nice.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 02 Mar 05 - 10:17 AM

BWL:

The phenomenon you refer to is well known as tribal logoneurotic pathology, or verbal cluckfester.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 02 Mar 05 - 10:38 AM

he vessel on which I was serving as first officer had ancient wiring along the back wall of the chart-room just aft of the bridge, and some part of the wiring their must have overheated as it started sending out clouds of smoke and flickering flames one afternoon.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 02 Mar 05 - 10:38 AM

Zero and infinity are the closest of friends imaginable.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 02 Mar 05 - 10:39 AM

6600.

Amos