BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Oct 08 - 06:48 PM

Helluva good idea, Rap. I'm for it. Let's "hold his feet to the fire" as the saying goes...

We'll soon know if it is the real Amos or not, because he will have to reach the dizzying heights of bafflegab, bilgeroar, and sesquipedalian blathertwaddle which only Amos is the true master of. If he can't do it...well, then we'll know the score.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Oct 08 - 06:28 PM

I'm not sure that Amos will return from "Getaway" if he made it there at all. It's not just all of those accidents, either. I have a feeling that he will be kidnapped by a gang of crazed "biker chicks" who will hold him in durance vile as the object of their perverted lusts and Someone Else will be posting as Amos to allay our suspicions. Eventually the Amos we know will be lost to us, another victim of young women in spandex shorts, fingertipless gloves and weird, brightly colored helmets.

So if anyone posts as "Amos" I suggest that we have them prove that they are the REAL Amos and not an impostor. Maybe the poster should show us "his" belly-button scar or birthmark or something.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Oct 08 - 01:22 PM

Laura Otter and Laura Bush are also LOTS better looking than their spouses.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Oct 08 - 12:09 PM

There may be something to that template. I think Laura is a lot smarter than George. Probably would have done a lot less of a bad job.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Oct 08 - 11:16 AM

Read "Homecoming" by Marilynn Robinson.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Oct 08 - 01:03 AM

And I know that she's much better looking.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Oct 08 - 12:54 AM

The Gov came with his wife. Having spoken to both I think she's a LOT smarter than he is.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Oct 08 - 11:44 PM

Big Read?

Big Read?

Big Read?!

I'm trying to finish the seventh Harry Potter book. Now that's a "big read." Lots and lots of pages!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Oct 08 - 07:00 PM

I just talk that way now and then to make Amos jealous. ;-) I am invoking his spirit as a form of parody when I do so.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Oct 08 - 06:09 PM

It has to do with this event.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Oct 08 - 06:00 PM

Ya keep talkin' like that and you'll find yerself under the same sort of proscription as Amos, pilgrim.

But right now I gotta go git purtied up fer a gala eve'ng with the Gov'
nur's wife and a Poo-litzer Prize winnin' author an' some dude from the Nashunal EN-dowment fer the Arts an' folks like those. Hell's bells, I even gotta leave ma shootin' iron at home. Ah asks ya, what's this here world a-comin' ta?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Oct 08 - 05:57 PM

That's a non-starter. Unless you turn it into some goofy game that Facebook subscribers can sign up for.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Oct 08 - 05:49 PM

Persiflaginous maunderers must be proscribed!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Oct 08 - 10:06 AM

Who? Amos?

By the way, under my gentle proposal he would not be able to use his name because it is four letters long. I've been thinking on this, and I propose this list be used for a start.

Me
I
am
is
bad
guy
man
not
tea
eat
poo
pee
hi
yes
no
go
a
the
him
her
eh?
you
now
yet
up
eye
ear
toe
bag
boo
who
how
now
mow
moo
goo

These should take care of all his needs until we can approve a larger vocabulary. While I admit that some of the words (toe, for instance) could be construed as "terms of art" we really should allow him such sentences as "Toe boo boo" if he hurts his foot. And the list is really quite complex: for instance, if he wants to cut the lawn he could say, "I go mow the moo goo now" or if he disapproves of the drink he is served he could say, "Is bad tea. Is pee!"

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Oct 08 - 09:54 AM

He's now raisin a fuss about numbers, not fruit.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Oct 08 - 09:52 AM

THE palindrome, at last. It's MINE! MINE, you hear?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Oct 08 - 09:52 AM

I think it was the Red Flag of revolution. Those guys were ANNOYED!!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: maeve
Date: 04 Oct 08 - 09:00 AM

Which flag were they raisin' at the time of their departure?

Hmmm. This may explain some of my kinfolk in Pensacola.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Oct 08 - 08:53 AM

Just last week the Mississippi riverboat "Stillman's Run" was carrying a cargo of raisins to the Union troops outside of Pensacola when the cargo shifted. The raisins (which had been donated by the good people of California to raise troop morale and hence why they were and are called "raisin's") shifted in their cargo bins and cause the boat to flip right over. This, of course, caused the boilers to explode downwards, which liberated the raisins. Propelled by the shock waves of the explosion they all ended up in a slough off of Ed McCurdy's shack on the Rat River, where they fermented and, by the relentless action of the evaporating the "mash", cooling and condensing the fumes on underside of leaves which re-directed the "run" into a formerly dry creekbed, provided the troops around Pensacola with the liquid courage to confront their officers and break the news to them that the Civil War had been over for better than 140 years and they were going home.

Fortunately no one was hurt in all this.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Oct 08 - 12:17 AM

that AWFUL Sultana disaster

A Raisin in the Sun? The Sun Also Raisin?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Oct 08 - 10:55 PM

That would certainly be a good start. It takes strong medicine to deal with serious pathology.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Oct 08 - 10:39 PM

Well, gastroentreol...gastropods...stomach doctors use the word "jejeune" because it's part of the stomach or someplace. But then they are not normal human beings. Amos does not, at least yet, have a medical degree. So he really should avoid using what the lawyers call "terms of art." In addition to "jejeune" these include (but are in no way limited to) specialty words such as "semiconductor" "paintbrush" "dryer" "pentode" "detonating cord" "beaten zone" "screw" "camera" "guitar" "food" and "clothes." I'm sure you can think of others. For a while I think he should limit himself to words of three or fewer letters and submit other words he might want to use which contain more than three letter to Little Hawk for approval. Even some three letter words like "cam" or "yaw" should be submitted.

This should not in any way restrict his postings or the ideas he can express.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Oct 08 - 10:00 PM

I've been warning him for years about the slippery slope of intellectual foppery and where it leads. It starts with using odd French words that no one else in the English-speaking world uses, like...jejeune. And it just goes downhill from there. Soon you are talking in language so abstruse and divorced from reality that not even your dog will listen anymore. Then you take to writing interminable gasbag letters to the editor which never get printed because the paper hasn't the space for them and can't understand what point the writer is trying to make. The babblegab and bilgeroar become so awful that houseplants wither and cats flee the area.

Then it's time for the men in the mauve suits to move in...

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Oct 08 - 07:55 PM

Why, oh why, didn't he stay home? Why did he go off to that terrible Washington DC area? He'll be sucked into the maelstrom of politics, you just mark my words, and before you know it he'll be just another greasy hand dipping into the government pork barrel and then he'll be ruined, yes RUINED, as a guitar player or even a banjo picker.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Oct 08 - 07:34 PM

There was that HORRIBLE tunnel collapse in Richmond and that AWFUL Sultana disaster and then that bridge collapse over the river Tay and I just don't know that Amos should be traveling ANYWHERE unless he walks and even then he'd probably trip and hurt himself.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Oct 08 - 05:27 PM

He's not taking Old 97 is he?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Oct 08 - 05:12 PM

And steamboats exploding all over the place! I'm worried about him, I really am.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Stilly River Sage
Date: 03 Oct 08 - 04:45 PM

There's my old childhood library, the Everett Public. Great children's librarians in there--opened a world of reading for me, even as a child from a librarian's family. It was/is in an old Carnegie library building. And the B'ham library--didn't go there often when I was in college, but I used it a few times.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Oct 08 - 04:30 PM

I'm really worried about Amos, what with the recent train wrecks and all. I'd really had to see Amos go to Getaway and get wrecked.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Oct 08 - 08:56 AM

Mom, you need a lift. You'll be glad to know that we've got some GOOD pictures of the woman who stole the purse at the Library yesterday.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Oct 08 - 08:26 PM

Seems like the stuff that was posted yesterday was the old data, not the new. The previous is the new data, comparing us (Marshall Public) with others around the region in the same population group.

It's still good.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Oct 08 - 08:07 PM

Corrected data:

Corvallis-Benton Conty Public Library                Corvallis        OR        50k        853        97.00
Bellingham Public Library        Bellingham        WA        50k        819        94.00
Provo City Library        Provo        UT        50k        786        91.00
Orem Public Library        Orem        UT        50k        770        90.00
Tigard Public Library        Tigard        OR        50k        747        87.00
North Olympic Library System        Port Angeles        WA        50k        717        83.00
Everett Public Library        Everett        WA        50k        711        83.00
Renton Public Library        Renton        WA        50k        669        77.00
Marshall Public Library        Pocatello        ID        50k        643        74.00
Oregon City Public Library        Oregon City        OR        50k        643        73.00
Longview Public Library        Longview        OR        50k        632        72.00
Clackamas County Library        Oak Grove        OR        50k        624        71.00
Idaho Falls Public Library        Idaho Falls        ID        50k        628        71.00
Meridian District        Meridian        ID        50k        605        66.00
Nampa Public Library        Nampa        ID        50k        587        63.00
Kootenai-Shoshone District        Hayden        ID        50k        512        53.00
Springfield Public Library        Springfield        OR        50k        473        48.00
KlamathCounty Library Service District        Klamath Falls        OR        50k        454        43.00
Josephine County Library System        Grants Pass        OR        50k        449        42.00

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Oct 08 - 06:16 PM

Well, he also has to be vewwy caweful that the squirrels don't see him and try to store him away for the winter.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Oct 08 - 01:49 PM

Yeah, don't miss the plane. Your kayak trips aren't enough to condition your arm muscles to fly that far.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Oct 08 - 01:23 PM

Amos! Don't miss your plane!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Oct 08 - 01:21 PM

Welcome to Wonderland, Wonderful Wonderland
Everythings wonderful here, you can see.
Nothing gets hairy
When your protected by fairies
Wonderland's Wonderful, just right for me!!

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Oct 08 - 12:55 PM

"he attributed it to the faeries at the bottom of his garden"

Finally some honesty! Rapaire is a forthright man with the courage to state it like it is and let the buffalo chips fall where they may. That is why Chongo picked him for his VP. No wonder Katie Couric was a bit flummoxed. After all, it's very unusual for politicians to tell the unvarnished truth about anything when they are being interviewed. She probably needed a stiff drink and some deep breathing to recover from the shock.

But is the American public ready to hear the Truth?

Chongo is betting that they are.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Oct 08 - 12:49 PM

AMOS!! For gods sake man, remember to take the grenades out of your carry on bags! TSA is dumb, yeah, but not THAT stupid...at least I don't think they are...maybe....

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Oct 08 - 10:26 AM

"In a recent interview with CBS' Katie Couric, the suddenly famous library director was asked the secret of his success. Much to the surprise of listeners in every walk of American life, he attributed it to the faeries at the bottom of his garden. Ms. Couric, for perhaps the first time in her professional career, was completely non-plussed and was forced to take an unscheduled commercial break to recover herself."


Adieu, friends and MOABites. I leave in a few hours for the trials and tribulations of air travel in Bush's America. It is slightly better than traveling by schooner to the Hawaiian islands to start a missionary career in 1871, but not by much.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Oct 08 - 10:15 AM

It couldn't have been done without all of the Little People: Peaseblossom, Cobweb, Puck, King Rory and the Ballyfungus leprechauns...they know who they are.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Oct 08 - 01:07 AM

Bravo, Rapaire. For all my liberties with your name, honor, repute, and character, I have to say, "Well done!! Good works in a good cause!!".


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Oct 08 - 11:30 PM

Good for you.

If you want to improve the library even more, feel free to print out the entire MOAB thread (remember to use the "printer friendly" feature) and place at least one bound copy in the collection for your patrons to enjoy.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Oct 08 - 09:35 PM

WHOOPEE!!! YAY!!!

Hurray for us! Hennen's American Public Library Ratings has come out for 2008 (based on 2005 date that the Feds released late) and my Library is ranked, once again, tops in Idaho for cities of 50-99K population!

Marshall Public Library: score 665, 76.6%
Meridan Public: 627, 70.5%
Idaho Falls: 621, 69.6%
Nampa: 592, 64.4%
Kootenai-Shoshone District: 524, 53.4%

I am somewhat pleased. Perhaps you can tell.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Oct 08 - 08:35 PM

So Amos -- the next time you go out in that kayak, make sure you pour some pee all over yourself and rub it in good. We don't want you drowning.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Oct 08 - 07:32 PM

Parniflagration!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Oct 08 - 06:10 PM

I dunno--dog-rollers? I have no idea where people got these ideas....



A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Oct 08 - 04:54 PM

How about the fresh cow flop on the face to cure freckles? Or rubbing pee all over your body before swimming?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Oct 08 - 12:23 PM

Good thought, MM! That may be it.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 01 Oct 08 - 10:48 AM

It may have been the result of observing copraphagia in animals...

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Oct 08 - 10:29 AM

I wonder why anyone thought the whites of chicken dung were suited to remedy the fits or hysterics. It is so bizarre!! Is there any practical experience behind this? Aside from the person being so disgusted they stop having fits long enough to throw a frying pan at you for feeding them chicken shit?


A