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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Donuel 08 Jul 17 - 11:41 PM
Rapparee 08 Jul 17 - 10:42 PM
Rapparee 08 Jul 17 - 10:34 PM
Donuel 08 Jul 17 - 08:03 PM
Acme 08 Jul 17 - 09:15 AM
Rapparee 07 Jul 17 - 09:37 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 07 Jul 17 - 08:31 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 07 Jul 17 - 12:58 PM
Donuel 07 Jul 17 - 11:56 AM
Acme 07 Jul 17 - 11:36 AM
Donuel 07 Jul 17 - 11:29 AM
Rapparee 07 Jul 17 - 09:37 AM
Rapparee 06 Jul 17 - 09:14 AM
Donuel 06 Jul 17 - 08:17 AM
Rapparee 05 Jul 17 - 08:57 PM
Acme 05 Jul 17 - 08:39 PM
Rapparee 05 Jul 17 - 07:40 PM
Rapparee 04 Jul 17 - 08:06 PM
Amos 04 Jul 17 - 06:14 PM
Acme 04 Jul 17 - 03:51 PM
Rapparee 04 Jul 17 - 10:09 AM
Donuel 03 Jul 17 - 09:35 PM
Rapparee 03 Jul 17 - 09:02 PM
keberoxu 03 Jul 17 - 11:11 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Jul 17 - 10:48 AM
Donuel 03 Jul 17 - 09:41 AM
Rapparee 02 Jul 17 - 08:52 PM
Acme 02 Jul 17 - 01:31 PM
gnu 02 Jul 17 - 11:33 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Jul 17 - 10:22 AM
Rapparee 01 Jul 17 - 05:28 PM
gnu 01 Jul 17 - 10:33 AM
Donuel 30 Jun 17 - 10:00 PM
Rapparee 30 Jun 17 - 09:34 PM
Donuel 30 Jun 17 - 06:33 PM
Amos 30 Jun 17 - 10:38 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 30 Jun 17 - 10:30 AM
Donuel 30 Jun 17 - 09:09 AM
Rapparee 29 Jun 17 - 09:53 PM
Rapparee 29 Jun 17 - 09:41 AM
Rapparee 29 Jun 17 - 09:28 AM
Amos 29 Jun 17 - 12:19 AM
Rapparee 28 Jun 17 - 06:40 PM
Donuel 28 Jun 17 - 05:39 PM
Rapparee 28 Jun 17 - 09:10 AM
Donuel 27 Jun 17 - 02:25 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 27 Jun 17 - 12:29 PM
Donuel 27 Jun 17 - 11:57 AM
Rapparee 27 Jun 17 - 09:31 AM
keberoxu 26 Jun 17 - 11:26 PM

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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 08 Jul 17 - 11:41 PM

1776 In the revolutionary war John Adams' wife wrote that she led a women's piss brigade for gunpowder.
I had no idea it took so long to make back then.

I don't know if librarians have proprietary secrets but how did you find that poem? I believe you may have raised search skills to a performance art of virtuosity, or at least the illusion, which is of course the same thing to an audience.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jul 17 - 10:42 PM

Real song from the CSA. Haralson was designated to collect chamber lye from the ladies of Selma, Alabama to use in making KNO3 for the Confederate troops. Sung to the tune of "O Tannenbaum" or "Maryland, My Maryland" (your choice).

John Haralson! John Haralson!
You are a funny creature;
You've given to this cruel war
A new and curious feature.
You'd have us think, while every man
Was born to be a fighter,
The women, bless the pretty dears
Should save their pee for nitre.

John Haralson! John Haralson!
Where did you get the notion
To send barrels around our street
To fill them with that lotion?
We thought the girls work enough
With making shirts and kissing:
But now you put the lovely dears
To patriotic pissing.

John Haralson! John Haralson!
Pray do invent neater
And a somewhat less immodest way
Of making your saltpetre.
The thing is so very odd,
Gunpowder like and cranky,
That when a woman lifts her skirt
She shoots another Yankee!

They say there is a subtle smell
That lingers in the powder;
That when the smoke grows thicker,
And the din of the battle louder
That there is found to this compound
One serious objection;
A soldier can not sniff it
Without having an erection.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jul 17 - 10:34 PM

Wickedpedia sayeth:

The earliest known complete purification process for potassium nitrate was outlined in 1270 by the chemist and engineer Hasan al-Rammah of Syria in his book al-Furusiyya wa al-Manasib al-Harbiyya (The Book of Military Horsemanship and Ingenious War Devices). In this book, al-Rammah describes first the purification of barud (crude saltpeter mineral) by boiling it with minimal water and using only the hot solution, then the use of potassium carbonate (in the form of wood ashes) to remove calcium and magnesium by precipitation of their carbonates from this solution, leaving a solution of purified potassium nitrate, which could then be dried.[15] This was used for the manufacture of gunpowder and explosive devices. The terminology used by al-Rammah indicated a Chinese origin for the gunpowder weapons about which he wrote.[16]

At least as far back as 1845, Chilean saltpeter deposits were exploited in Chile and California, USA.

A major natural source of potassium nitrate was the deposits crystallizing from cave walls and the accumulations of bat guano in caves.[17] Extraction is accomplished by immersing the guano in water for a day, filtering, and harvesting the crystals in the filtered water. Traditionally, guano was the source used in Laos for the manufacture of gunpowder for Bang Fai rockets...

In the process of food preservation, potassium nitrate has been a common ingredient of salted meat since the Middle Ages,[22] but its use has been mostly discontinued because of inconsistent results compared to more modern nitrate and nitrite compounds. Even so, saltpeter is still used in some food applications, such as charcuterie and the brine used to make corned beef.[23] When used as a food additive in the European Union,[24] the compound is referred to as E252; it is also approved for use as a food additive in the USA[25] and Australia and New Zealand[26] (where it is listed under its INS number 252).[3] Although nitrate salts have been suspected of producing the carcinogen nitrosamine, both sodium and potassium nitrates and nitrites have been added to meats in the US since 1925, and nitrates and nitrites have not been removed from preserved meat products because nitrite and nitrate inhibits the germination of C. botulinum endospores, and thus prevents botulism form bacterial toxin that may otherwise be produced in certain preserved meat products.[27][28]

In West African cuisine, potassium nitrate (saltpetre) is widely used as a thickening agent in soups and stews such as okra soup[29] and isi ewu. It is also used to soften food and reduce cooking time when boiling beans and tough meat. Saltpetre is also an essential ingredient in making special porridges, such as kunun kanwa[30] literally translated from the Hausa language as 'saltpetre porridge'. In the Shetland Islands (UK) it is used in the curing of mutton to make "reestit" mutton, a local delicacy.


Which, when my brothers found out that sodium and/or potassium nitrate were in the hot dogs we ate gave rise to the idea of taking a raw hot dog and sticking fuse in it. "Stand back, I'm gonna light the hot dog now!"


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Subject: RE: Smother all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 08 Jul 17 - 08:03 PM

The French recipe for the manufacture of salt peter and niter may have been featured #1 because the French palette was already gourmet trained and cultured for shit and piss tasting purposes. It seems to me it has to be an acquired taste. The rest of the story may even include using unwashed French Prostitutes for taste training purposes.
More historical research may prove quite interesting, such as the trials and tribulations of the very first guy to make salt peter and exactly how he discovered its volatile nature. Like I said it could be interesting shit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Jul 17 - 09:15 AM

That's not chicken shit, that's bat shit, and bat shit is a whole lot crazier than chicken shit. Just typing the words affirms that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jul 17 - 09:37 PM

Bee-Dubya-Ell, read this. It will tell you what to do with your chicken shit!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 Jul 17 - 08:31 PM

Hi, Mom!

I'm sure you've heard someone exclaim, "I really don't need this shit!" Maybe you've even done so yourself.

Well, is there someone somewhere who really does need this shit? Can you let me know who he is so that next time I really don't need this shit I can call him and he can come take it off my hands?

Also, is the problem just with this shit, or with shit in general? Is there some other sort of shit that may be more acceptable than this shit? Maybe even a type of shit that someone really does need?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 Jul 17 - 12:58 PM

I have never read poetry on an NPR station, though I have performed a few times as part of a couple of bands. I once agreed to play some mellow improvised hammer dulcimer stuff while some guy read his poetry, but I was drunk when I struck the agreement and, when I sobered up, I remembered that I don't do mellow improvised hammer dulcimer stuff, only fast fiddle tunes. Somehow, playing "Liberty" or "Forked Deer" while someone read a poem about death and destruction didn't seem like a really good idea, so I called in sick and the station recruited a flute player from the university's music department.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 07 Jul 17 - 11:56 AM

Not to brag but my page is longer than yours and she never fell off.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Jul 17 - 11:36 AM

I thought I caught her yesterday evening - the post must not have taken. And it the 'cat was offline for a little while. Perhaps the intention was trumped by the lack of connectivity.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 07 Jul 17 - 11:29 AM

Lyrical overwhelming laugh (Lol) Pat. Trains girls AND gags. Better than petticoat junction but dark.

however

A turn of phrase by Amos can be just two words long but I remember them forever in a colored context. He sure knows how to naturally connect with dyslexic synthetes. &^}
Example: tendril of consciousness
synthesisia translation - (deep blue light greeny green)

Thomas Wolfe once wrote 'living tendril' - not as good as Amos'.

There was another who had a similar talent but with four letter words and name. He specialized in reds and yellows.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jul 17 - 09:37 AM

MOM FELL OFF THE PAGE! FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER (AS FAR AS I KNOW) MOM FELL OFF THE PAGE!

I administered first aid, and the EMTs* took her to the horsespittle in an ambulance. She is in the ICU, but can receive visitors. A bottle of bourbon hidden in a gift of chocolates would not be unappreciated, she told me.



*Emergency Markup Technicians.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 17 - 09:14 AM

Here's one, Donuel!

Through the mighty Sawtooth Mountains
Came an UP passenger train
The hoboes tried to ride her
But alas! 'twas all in vain!

The conductor took the tickets
And he counted every soul;
The engineer looked straight ahead
And the fireman shoveled coal.

Now, the fireman was a cowboy
But do not think it strange:
He could make more money shoveling coal
Than riding on the range.

And though he was a fireman
And although he had to sweat
He still remained a western guy
And he kept his lariat.

The train was way behind time
And the passengers all were wild,
When on that track a-sudden
There strolled a little child.

Her golden hair in ringlets
Was a-streamin' down her back.
She little knew of her danger great
As she strolled along the track.

"My God!" the hog head shouted
As he slammed on all the brakes
"I'll never stop this train in time
'Cause I ain't got what it takes"

"O Heaven help that wee tot!"
He cried in accents wild.
"Can nothing stop this UP train
And save that little child?"

Then up sprang the cowboy fireman,
And a gallant lad was he,
"Now I will save that baby
If I wreck the whole UP"

He climbed upon the running board
With tears his eyes were wet
And in his hand, our hero brave
Had his trusty lariat.

He dropped his loop around a pole
That stood beside the track
And tied the other end of it
Around the big smokestack.

He jerked the train right off the rails
And caused an awful wreck
And our hero lay there in a ditch
With the engine on his neck.

Oh we will all remember
That forty-fifth of May
For many brave and gallant hearts
Were filled with fear that day.

They buried that brave fireman
Where the prairie winds blow wild.
He killed two hundred passengers
But, Thank God, he saved the child!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 06 Jul 17 - 08:17 AM

Amos if there is an epic poem of yours you would like to reprise today would it possibly be about the horse, the train, the lady?

Your expression of the beautiful struggle is exciting, suspenseful and up lifting.

The villainous forces of nature, man or machine have a well deserved enemy named Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jul 17 - 08:57 PM

But it's farthest away!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Jul 17 - 08:39 PM

The angle.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jul 17 - 07:40 PM

If the sun is at aphelion, why is it so hot?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jul 17 - 08:06 PM

...as good as anything they'd ever had in their spoken word series.

NPR station, I assume.

When you are filthy rich and filthy famous can I say "I knew him when..."?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jul 17 - 06:14 PM

Keep them fingers crossed, brothers and sisters of Mom's hallowed halls. Remember--anything is possible. And this too shall pass. And ya never know. And different day, S.O.S. And caetera.

I was on the radio here the other day for half an hour--a brief dissertation on poetry and a couple of poems and a song. The producer was really delighted with it. Tole me later it was as good as anything they'd ever had in their spoken word series. So, way kewl.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Jul 17 - 03:51 PM

I'm hoping that putz in the White House doesn't decide to send nuclear fireworks in the general director of North Korea today. Hopefully someone in the chain of command would stop him in his tracks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jul 17 - 10:09 AM

Lordy! Mom's been playing with fireworks again! This time she put them on You Tube and fibbed about where she did it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 03 Jul 17 - 09:35 PM

Mars is simply the industry code word for Bangkok. Alex Jones is probably doing a preposterous Mars child sex distraction story to minimize and confuse the long standing story of Trump reportedly attending a pedophilia flight with an associate famous for bringing kids on board for immoral purposes. Madness has a method.

The actual Mars is not just unbreathable, it stinks to high heaven. The Hydrogen sulfide in the thin near pressureless atmosphere seeps into any airlock system and renders a horrible fart stench. They don't advertise the fact that the whole planet stinks really bad. Space Febreze comes in tiny squares that attach to air vents and really does work - in simulations.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jul 17 - 09:02 PM

My little weather station here in my lair has a future forecast feature. Right now it's predicting rain. Well, yes, it probably will rain sometime in the future. It's kinda like my "Might snow today" -- either it will or it won't. I can pree-dick weather! I'm a prophet!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 03 Jul 17 - 11:11 AM

Amos, good thing you got back home safe,
before Maine got all those tornadoes in a single day.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Jul 17 - 10:48 AM

NASA has publicly announced that, contrary to the opinion expressed by some yo-yo on Alex Jones' Infowars program, there are no child sex slaves on Mars.

This is good news and bad news.

Good news because there are no child sex slaves on Mars.

Bad news because, if one is destined to be a child sex slave, Mars would be a pretty good place to do it. Since there are no adult humans on Mars, there'd be nobody to be a sex slave for! Martian child sex slaves wouldn't have to ply their trade at all, but would be free to grow up to be normal well-adjusted human beings. Well, as well-adjusted as one could be living on a planet with no breathable air, no liquid water, and an atmosphere that does almost zilch to filter out deadly radiation. Still, it probably beats Bangkok.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 03 Jul 17 - 09:41 AM

We are well underway to make that offending mosquito species extinct via gene replacement weapons. It didn't take long for CRISPR to go from healing discovery to weapon.

Coming soon: The Trump Truth Vaccine.
It will make all objective facts fake and advance the clenched fist of Trump Tweet Truth.

free gifts with every oral vaccine !
coupon for 10% off ammunition and bonus booklet, Who When and How to attack 'Swamp Monsters' vol. 1.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jul 17 - 08:52 PM

Okay, how about your Prez for your PM? I'll toss in a genuine Barlow knife.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Jul 17 - 01:31 PM

Pretty puleeeze . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 Jul 17 - 11:33 AM

Rap... no.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Jul 17 - 10:22 AM

Hi, Mom!

I've heard that the Aedes aegypti mosquito which carries the Zika virus can lay its eggs in as little water as what's contained in a bottle cap. Well then, it seems pretty obvious to me that the key to defeating the Zika virus is to eliminate bottle caps! So, next time you shoplift a bottle of booze, make sure it has a cork instead of a screw-cap. Do your part for public health!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jul 17 - 05:28 PM

Swap your PM for our Prez, gnu.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 Jul 17 - 10:33 AM

Well, it's Dominion Day. I saw our Prime Asshole chatting with Bonnie Prince Chuck on the TV at Mum's after I finished some window washing, scrubbing, vacuuming, and such. Similar chaps. Both born with a silver spoon up their ass. But, at least Chuck can't fuck up an entire country with lies and broken promises. I'd write a poem about Mini-Me Harper but I can't think of anything to rhyme with &*@$#%^*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Big celebrations are planned in NB.ca for July 4th. Well, for close to 4000 NBers. OTOH, about 55,000 NBers will be cryin' in their beer. Moose draw results will be available IF the gubmint doesn't screw up the draw somehow. I am sure they have someone working on it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 30 Jun 17 - 10:00 PM

everybody knows


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jun 17 - 09:34 PM

Cúnaigh deirim libh, beir air, tóg é,        
A Úna gairim thú is faigh dom córda;        
Cá bhfuil tú a Áine, ná bí ar iarraidh!        
Ceangailse, a Mháire, a lámha ar dtaobh thiar de!        
A Mhuirinn, a Mheadhbh, a Shadhbh is a Shíle,        
Cuirigí i bhfeidhm le daigheartha díograis        
Barr gach scólta d'ordaigh an tsíbhean,        
Báigí sa bhfeol gach córda snaidhmeach,        
Tomhais go fial na pianta is cruatan        
Le tóin is le tiarpa Amos, gan trua ar bith;        
Tóg na lámha is ardaigh an sciúirse,        
Is sampla sámh é a mhná na muirne!        
Gearraigí domhain, níor thuill sé fábhar!        
Bainigí an leadhb ó rinn go sáil de!


       -- Aoibheal O'Sidhe, Breitheanna críochnaithe (An Daingean: Merry Man Press, 1937).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 30 Jun 17 - 06:33 PM

superior ,


funny how bodily fluids rhyme with ripping off words by plagiarism. I dare not copy, but shoplifting words of wealth or stealing them by stealth seems fair to me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jun 17 - 10:38 AM

Some things never change....

I had a friend, upon a time, and a mighty friend was he.
His tongue went loop-de-loop-de-loop, and his blade went "Snicker! Snee!".
His fingers typed words of delight
Dancing like light gone mad,
But he disappeared quite late, one night,
And the story turned out bad.

It seems his door was knocked upon,
When most folks were in bed,
By two large gents in wrinkled suits
And large, and wrinkled, heads.
They said he had been singled out,
That someone Big was pissed,
Berated him as a useless lout,
And a goddamned plagiarist.

They listed tomes and poems and works
He'd borrowed for a while,
And touted up and frilled out
In inimitable style.
The said he'd never paid a dime
To those whose works he'd borrow,
And all of this was coming back,
To visit him with sorrow.

They told him he was going away,
Into the darkling deeps
Where bad men worry through the day,
And fret too much to sleep.
Where hard men break, and life is hard,
And you scramble for what you get,
And there's no such thing as e-mail,
OR a high-speed Internet.

My friend, he blanched, he paled, he flinched,
He knew that he'd done wrong,
He knew that even then his screen
Held a half-baked stolen song.
He realized then -- too late, too late --
He should have listened, way back when,
To his dear Mom; too late, too late,
He was heard from ne'er again.

And so I come to this Cafe,
To write, and to forget,
But something still recalls to me
This friend I think on yet.
I never learned if he had ever
re-crossed that chilling schism
That split him from the world he loved,
On account of plagiarism.

So good folks all, pray heed this call,
Think of this man, cast doon,
And make your good works all your own,
From your own hand, alone.
Steal not the works of other men,
Or lines of other poets;
For if you do, they'll come for you,
And everyone will know it.

Seamus Sanmerci O'Toole
Lilting the Right -- Poems from the Lexington Express
Dublin Upp Press, New York, 1937


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Jun 17 - 10:30 AM

I was going to write a poem about plagiarism, but I don't know how to spell "jizm". (Spell-checker says the way I just spelled it is not a valid word.)

Oops! Not knowing how to spell "jizm" is a rip-off of an idea from an old Kurt Vonnegut short story. So, I have committed plagiarism by not writing a poem about plagiarism.

Perhaps I should rhyme "plagiarism" with "onanism" instead. I know how to spell that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 30 Jun 17 - 09:09 AM

A scar is a star that shines a faint light
Forever long ago that's only now in sight
The story it tells is of help or fate
The extreme scars are the marks left by hate.

They all have a story of minor cuts or gory burn.
Invisible scars can be the absolute worst of all.
The scars that are invisible we are slow to learn.
You're a brilliant star that smiles despite a fall.


We all judge not by achievement
but by intent
it is the mean spirit to inflict
we all resent


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jun 17 - 09:53 PM

Wake! For the Sun, who scatter'd into flight
The Stars before him from the Field of Night,
Drives Night along with them from Heav'n, and strikes,
The Sultan's Turret with a Shaft of Light.

Before the phantom of False morning died,
Methought a Voice within the Tavern cried,
"When all the Temple is prepared within,
Why nods the drowsy Worshipper outside?"

And as the Cock crew, those who stood before
The Tavern shouted-"Open then the Door!
You know how little while we have to stay,
And once departed, may return no more."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jun 17 - 09:41 AM

I believe Amos wrote this one.

I love you just the way you are
(after they buff that awful scar)
and laser the tattoos over your heart
I'm sure we're destined never to part
    Remember to tuck up that cute
double chin
    and put those buttocks back where
they'd been
    Do ask about Lypo and
wax that moustache
and while you are at it get those teeth
that flash
    A beautiful smile in no time they say
it Looks great and it seems such a small
price to pay
    For love such as ours that
withstands any crisis
    so while you are there just look
into the prices
    of permanent lashes and
green contacts honey
    and buy some new clothes
for it's well worth the money
a wig or a dye job will top
off the look
    and get those new nails that
we saw in that book
    I love you for you
but it's so plain to see
There's really a much better you
you can be
    So call me next year
after all transformations
(I'm sure you'll exceed all of
my expectations)
    Just fax me a photo
I'll show it with pride
But remember I love you
for the you that's inside!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jun 17 - 09:28 AM

Here's one from a few years ago on what was then a current topic

When spring, to woods and wastes around,
Brought bloom and joy again,
The murdered traveller's bones were found,
Far down a narrow glen.

The fragrant birch, above him, hung
Her tassels in the sky;
And many a vernal blossom sprung,
And nodded careless by.

The red-bird warbled, as he wrought
His hanging nest o'erhead,
And fearless, near the fatal spot,
Her young the partridge led.

But there was weeping far away,
And gentle eyes, for him,
With watching many an anxious day,
Were sorrowful and dim.

They little knew, who loved him so,
The fearful death he met,
When shouting o'er the desert snow,
Unarmed, and hard beset;--

Nor how, when round the frosty pole
The northern dawn was red,
The mountain wolf and wild-cat stole
To banquet on the dead;

Nor how, when strangers found his bones,
They dressed the hasty bier,
And marked his grave with nameless stones,
Unmoistened by a tear.

But long they looked, and feared, and wept,
Within his distant home;
And dreamed, and started as they slept,
For joy that he was come.

So long they looked--but never spied
His welcome step again,
Nor knew the fearful death he died
Far down that narrow glen.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jun 17 - 12:19 AM

Much as I have tried to correct him, I can sympathize with the compulsive plagiarizer stealing from Willy the Shake, John Donne, or even John Kenneth Galbraith, far from his native subject matter if kindred in rhetoric.

But to post stuff from Willard Wattles--such as the pathetic Carrie Nation poem -- and take the credit as one's own? In the end, Mister Rapparree, have you no decency?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jun 17 - 06:40 PM

Das ist recht.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 28 Jun 17 - 05:39 PM

Hear that Friedrich? He called you an effete tenderfoot.

he said, "wogegn or gegen was hat er Einwande erhoben?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jun 17 - 09:10 AM

"Lasso" is a verb, not a noun. You can lasso someone or something, but you have to do it with a rope, a lariat, a reata or riata, a running noose, a slip noose, bola, twine, maguey -- but not a lasso. Of course, you can lasso a dogie with a lariat or your old maguey, but never a lasso. Only tenderfeet and effete Easterners think otherwise.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 27 Jun 17 - 02:25 PM

Luck grows tall
for ass holes in castles
Fuck them all
and hang them with lassos

'Friedrich Schlemm' after a night of drinking


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Jun 17 - 12:29 PM

Willard Wattles should be shot, though it would have little real effect since he is, presumably, long dead. He should not be shot for the subject or content of his poem, but for having rhymed "flashing eyes"with "hypocrisies".

As self-appointed president of the Society for the Elimination of Spelling Rhyme, I object! Our motto is "Rhyme is a function of spoken, not written, language!"

"Sleight" does not rhyme with "eight". "Pain" does not rhyme with "again" unless you live someplace where people actually pronounce the latter "uh-gane". "Though" does not rhyme with either "through" or "enough".

Words rhyme when they sound the same, not when they're spelled the same! Understand? Just stop it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 27 Jun 17 - 11:57 AM

The four corner pillars of civilization are said to be Facts, Art, Respect and Truth (FART). The weakest of these is truth.

Truth is to be avoided or we fall silent, overwhelmed by the futility and meaninglessness of changing the singular purpose of the real owners of the world. They want MORE. They do not care about you or defenseless civilians. Yes there are token safety nets and rescues of humanity but everything goes back to the selfish greedy owner normalcy in time. The rich do not care about you or trivial mass murder . They care about more for themselves.

They own the lobbyists who write the laws buy the representatives direct the government, turn the playing field into a funnel into their financial stomach and use stupid leaders to do all their bidding.

Government by corporation is fascism and we the people have endured fascist systems by kings, religions and immortal corporations throughout all of written history. The US was a great experiment but it is gone now replaced by the loop hole, the skim, the workarounds and blatant power grabs by the rich owners, who shall not be named.

There were brief exceptions during and after the FDR years but that is over. Watch and remember the next great super disaster that inspires a call to help all the victims. The laws and rich will be helped but not the poor. The owners do not care about them or you. Only the illusion of saving the masses is needed to insure the devotion of ignorant obedient workers to serve the rigged game of the rich. Owners actually like defenseless citizens who believe that the 2nd amendment gives them a running chance. Its laughable. You are just a fly to be swatted.

Its a rich man's world, just enjoy what you can. If you do not believe this just look, you have Trump and Putin as our greedy rich leaders. The owners are not scared, they are pleased, as reflected in the stock market.

This truth was eloquently spoken in the immortal words of Spaw when he would succinctly say,
Fuck them all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jun 17 - 09:31 AM

A poor bewildered, half-crazed crone
She died, forgotten and alone;
And some there were who stopped to scoff
When the old dame was taken off,
While the busy world went wheeling on
Scarce knowing even she was gone.

Of course she may have done some good,
But then, most any woman could
Who had the muscle and a hatchet,
With Irish wit as keen to match it;
Yet smashing windows so erratic
Soon proved her just a plain fanatic.

A sort of Jezebel crusader,
Like Don Quixote nothing stayed her, -
No wonder people shied eggs at her,
She seemed to like to watch 'em splatter,
And stood like wild things when at bay
So sort of fearless, old and gray.

And then to die so, after all,
Insane and in a hospital,
Good God, suppose she had been sane
And we who had the rotten brain,
I hate to stand on Judgement day
Beside that woman old and gray.

I'd hate to face the those flashing eyes
That scanned a state's hypocrisies
And woke a commonwealth to shame
with crashing axe and words of flame
Until men dare to carry out
The laws they made and lied about.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 26 Jun 17 - 11:26 PM

McGonagall strikes again. Is this what was meant by a wild ruckus?

My introduction to McGonagall was "Pegasus Descending"

with McGonagall writing three poems about "the silv'ry Tay" where the bridge had to be rebuilt.


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