 muddy |
||
|
||
BS: The Mother of all BS threads
|
|
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 16 Nov 04 - 11:58 AM Mario, you can amend that to include "in analysis" as well. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: MMario Date: 16 Nov 04 - 11:55 AM and the corallary - BS that is sufficiently subtle or advanced is indistinguishable from analysis. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: GUEST,Amos Date: 16 Nov 04 - 11:48 AM Aww, Maggie, that's analytical, not BS!!! One of the truisms emerging from my recent researches into "Pan-dimensional Facets of Horse Manure in Human Ideation (PFHMHI) is the following: "Any analysis that is sufficiently advanced or subtle will gradually become indistinguishable from BS -- even when from a reputable source!" That little gem took YEARS of research. A |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Stilly River Sage Date: 16 Nov 04 - 11:44 AM |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Stilly River Sage Date: 16 Nov 04 - 11:43 AM It's the size of the browser window vs the length of the text. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: MMario Date: 16 Nov 04 - 09:57 AM MOABITES all -!!! I would like to point out to you a classic example of BS - (and of 'Spaw ) Did You Ever Consider... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 16 Nov 04 - 09:53 AM True, Bee-Dubya, but if you watch long enough entropy again increases and the order-disorder-order again becomes disordered. She has actually created cyclic entropy, right here in our own MOAB. I think that there is great potential for this. Perpetual motion, for instance. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 16 Nov 04 - 09:48 AM Wow! JennyO has created a message that exhibits both positive and negative entropy! It starts out in a state of order (the words all lined up in a nice diagonal) but it inevitably winds its way toward disorder. That's entropy in a nutshell. But, then, if you watch the screen long enough it eventually rebuilds itself into an ordered state. That's negative entropy. Now, as we all know, negative entropy is a contradiction and cannot exist. Order can only be imposed upon a system by using energy borrowed from someplace else and the amount of disorder created by that borrowing is always greater than the amount of order imposed. The old "There's no such thing as a free lunch." bit. But JennyO's message first craetes disorder from order and then turns around and creates order from disorder with no borrowing of energy from someplace else. She has reversed entropy! And it happened right here on the Mother of All BS Threads! Astounding! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 16 Nov 04 - 09:30 AM That, JennyO, is because Mother is in control. Mother doesn't like order. Mother doesn't like things to be nice and neat. Mother doesn't like anal retention. Mother does, however, love the Second Law of Thermodynamics and, of course, entropy. In fact, Mother has the Second Law of MOAB: BS will always flow from states of higher to lesser density. Expressed mathematically, this would be S1>S2=S3=S1+S2/2 or, in words If BS state 1 is greater than BS state 2, then BS State 3 results, which is equal to the total of S1 plus S2 divided by 2. Since, by definition, you can't in this Universe have more than a state of greater BS and a state of lesser BS, no more than two states are possible or even desirable (some would argue that one state is too many). Amos's recent work in multi-dimensional BS entropy, however, is quite exciting (if you're into that sort of thing), showing as it does the probability that alternate states of greater and lesser BS can and most likely do exist, but in places where we can't see them. Sort of like a transdimensional game of hide-and-seek, only you can't see either the other players or where they are hiding. I'm certain that he'd be as happy as a pig in mudtime to post his work here if you were to ask him to do so. Be sure to ask him sweetly and nicely, because he's usually a surly old burp. You won't understand it -- heck, not even Amos understands it, having done most of it when he was drunk -- but it certainly is interesting to see all them mathematical squiggles and stuff. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: JennyO Date: 16 Nov 04 - 08:34 AM Hey my special effects have changed! Those four words were sort of diagonal before and now they are all over the place - some of them must be travelling faster than others - SPOOKY!!!!! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Ima Gittin' Date: 15 Nov 04 - 11:33 AM No dumber than mos' ,ah reckon.Altho' ahm shur ah had mah moments. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Stilly River Sage Date: 15 Nov 04 - 11:03 AM Or if that doesn't work, plant when the winds aren't blowing straight-line at 100 miles per hour. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rustic Rebel Date: 15 Nov 04 - 05:24 AM I'ma relatin' to any story told I'ma not normal. Glad to see you live Bee-Dubya. Sad that your trees didn't. Plant in the morning when the moon can still be seen with the rising sun. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 14 Nov 04 - 06:04 PM Dear Ima Gittin', I remember someone named Ima Dumbass posting to one of the Dr. Guitar threads. Are you related? Of course, if you were related it would also mean that you are Chinese since it is the first names that match and Chinese folks put their surnames first. Obviously, Gittin' and Dumbass are not the same name, so you cannot be related unless you are Chinese, even though Ima Dumbass may be gittin' some and Ima Gittin' may be a dumbass, though I am in no way qualified to make that judgement and only mention it as a hypothetical possibility. In fact, the only MOABite to whom the term Dumbass could be applied with absolutely no room for error or uncertainty is Tweed. Tweed's total lack of anything resembling mental acuity is a universally accepted fact throughout the entire realm of MOAB. And now that Tweed is not merely Tweed, but Tweed Who is Aslo khandu, the situation seems to be even worse. We had hoped that by combining Tweed's cashew-sized brain and khandu's acorn-sized brain a small glimmer of intelligence might somehow penetrate the dense fog known to occupy Tweed's cranial cavity. But, alas, in complete violation of common sense, the boy has actually gotten dumber since becoming the King of Mizzippi as well as the Mayor of Tweedsburg. It's as if Tweed's brain and khandu's brain had a knock-down drag-out fight over who was going to get to lay claim to all the empty space within Tweed's head and they both lost. Yore's, Bee-dubya-ell, The King's Royal Knower of Things |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: JennyO Date: 14 Nov 04 - 08:49 AM |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Ima Gittin' Date: 13 Nov 04 - 05:42 PM Ima communikatin'.............ain't I? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 13 Nov 04 - 05:25 PM MOAB! See? Fancy aren't needed on MOAB. Just good, old fashioned communication skills. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Ima Gittin' Date: 13 Nov 04 - 04:35 PM SRS....you truly are wise in the ways of work...or the lack thereof... I bow to your Sageness. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Ima Gittin' Date: 13 Nov 04 - 04:18 PM Tho' HTML and CSS have their place, where better than here... in the expanse of cyberspace?. Why tho really.?
|
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 13 Nov 04 - 11:36 AM I, myself, always read what others have written. Good writing doesn't need gussying up, it doesn't need tricks and gimmicks to get its point across. Would Shakespeare be more if he had had his works flashing in lights? Would Pope or Cervantes, Twain or McGonagle, be greater if their works bounced around the page? No! These tricks, these trappings are used only to distract us from the Real Message of MOAB. Do not be fooled by these attractive wrappings, for inside the message is mere dust in the wind. Keep focused upon the Real Message of MOAB and let yourself be borne away by it to the realms of infinite glory. No, and no, and no! I say it again and again and again, do not be taken in by HTML tricks! Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what path others may take, but as for me, Give me.... Sorry. Got quite carried away there. Sorry. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 13 Nov 04 - 11:21 AM This message doesn't bounce around. This message just sits on the ground. Its colors are not red or green, Just dull old black, a bit boring. No fonts larger or smaller than Whatever comes out of the can. No creepy letters dripping bile. No blinky words to make you smile. HTML it does eschew. You read it just the same, didn't you? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 13 Nov 04 - 11:10 AM |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 12 Nov 04 - 10:33 PM One |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Stilly River Sage Date: 12 Nov 04 - 09:57 PM Playing with the html here at Mudcat when you're supposed to be working always heightens the effect! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Ima Gittin' Date: 12 Nov 04 - 05:33 PM Mooooooooootherrrrrrrrrrrrrr...I'm home! Thought I'd pop in t' see who's aroun'. SRS....that was cool! or rather....
|
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 12 Nov 04 - 04:37 PM Last time I saw that post, SRS, it said "o p" and I thought you were commenting on something. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Stilly River Sage Date: 12 Nov 04 - 03:01 PM |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Stilly River Sage Date: 12 Nov 04 - 10:16 AM Mix a little .10 cortisone cream with some stardust and see if that helps. . . |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 12 Nov 04 - 09:42 AM Snuffy and Sodie and the Cowboy Code by Wallace Mcrae "Now I ain't scared a' grizzly bears," old Snuffy says one day, "'N wolverines 'n catamounts to me is pure child's play. Them trantulas and scorpions? I'll prance around 'em bold! But partner, them dang rattlesnakes, they make my blood run cold. I lariats my bed each night. My boots is tall bullhide. I don't like be in' on the ground, shoot yes! That's why I ride. Despite these nifty safety steps, I knows that I'll git bit. I cogitates on remedies to use if I git hit. My old Case knife is razor sharp to slash acrost each hole Where that bugger's fangs went, still, it chills me to the soul To plan self-mutilation, although it's necessary. 'N suckin' that there pizen out to me is awful scary. I reckon I could do it, if my life was on the line. 'Cause I 'member when that critter bit my hoss, sweet Adeline. Now that pony was a kicker of that there's paltry doubt. No man on earth could suck his leg to git the pizen out. So his eyes they glassied over 'n sweat jist drenched his hide. He shuddered, then he staggered, 'n I stood there as he died.' Sometimes I lays awake at night a-ponderin' on this. 'N I gits to speculatin' on this hypothesis: Say now, Sodie, jist fer instance, we're out hossback some day, 'N old Cookie's beans has grabbed me in a most emphatic way. Now I got no time to tarry, no sir! I'm in a rush. But propriety it dictates that I got to find some brush. Well, I gits there, but jist barely. There's no time to scout around. And say – in this brush's a viper all coiled up on the ground. Now I don't see him, but he sees me 'n he feels crowded some, So he calculates trajectory 'n bites me on the bum. So here I am all wounded but I knows what must be done, So fishin' out my sharp Case knife, I carves X's on my bun. But this I do by braille, you see, I'm operatin' blind, As I carves out love and kisses all over my behind. But I cain't suck the pizen out 'cause folks ain't built for that. Then I thinks about you, Sodie, 'n I yells 'n waves my hat. So you rides up, 'n I tells you the awful fix I'm in. I'm checkin' all my bets to you. Jist you can save my skin. My eyes is glazin' over now. My sun is sinkin' fast. I'm remorseful of my sin-filled life; regret my pintoed past. This nightmare here's well-water clear I pitcher in my mind. I'm dyin' there. The question is, now, Sodie, could you find It in yer heart to help a pal whose friendship is devout 'N save my life by suckin' all that rattler's pizen out? 'Cause the Cowboy Code, it tells the obligations of a friend. It says, I quote, 'A pal must be faithful to the end.'" Well, Sodie rolled and lit a smoke and said, "Yore right about The Cowboy Code, but it don't cover suckin' pizen out. That 'faithful to the end,' you quote I'd say is misdefined. It dang sure don't require of me to tend to yore behind. If you git bit, I'll fan yer face 'n help the time pass by. I'll speak soft words, but pardner, yore damn sure gonna die!" |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: MMario Date: 12 Nov 04 - 09:36 AM at least reports say that the rings around your anus are in a single layer only - What's this about the southern hemishpere being inclined 98 degrees and fully exposed to sunshine though? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 12 Nov 04 - 09:14 AM Dear Amos, We are very sorry to hear about the turbulence surrounding your anus. However, none of the currently participating MOABites possess sufficient expertise in matters of an anal nature to assist you with your difficulty. It is strongly suggested that you contact catspaw49 as he is definitely an expert in all things flatulent and fecal. If Spaw is not available, you may want to contact Martin Gibson. We are not sure that M.G. possesses much knowledge about assholes, but we are certain he is one so it would seem likely. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 12 Nov 04 - 09:01 AM Amos, you're a nice guy and all, but if you don't mind, I'd like to avoid speculating about Uranus. Some things are best left private. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 11 Nov 04 - 11:53 PM Speaking of such matters, the New Scientist has filed a report that conditions at Uranus are much more turbulent than anyone ever suspected. You may have some sort of explanation for this phenomenon, but they aren't sure. A |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 11 Nov 04 - 08:29 PM Yeah, there's toilet paper in there, but it really tastes horrible no matter how much Tabasco ya put on it. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 11 Nov 04 - 08:23 PM What about the toilet paper? Don't they include toilet paper any more? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 11 Nov 04 - 05:54 PM INSTRUCTIONS FOR PREPARING AND EATING "MEAL READY-TO-EAT" ("MRE") Option #1: Open the package containing the MRE. Find the package containing M&Ms, Skittles or Tootsie Rolls. Eat the candy and throw the rest of the shit away. Option #2: Open the package containing the MRE. Find the plastic pouches containing stuff that looks like it should be served hot. If you have access to a stove or microwave oven, throw the MRE crap away and cook something else. If you do not have access to a microwave oven, open the ingenious MRE cooking pouch, stuff whatever you want heated into the pouch (it is not recommended that you heat M&Ms, Skittles or Tootsie Rolls) and fill pouch with water. The water will activate the magic crystals in the cooking pouch which will produce HEAT! After about five minutes the contents of the pouch will be HOT! Remove the pouch. Open it and taste the contents using your olive drab MRE plastic eating spoon. Allow the contents to cool for about ten minutes. Feed contents to your cat or dog. Option #3: Open the package containing the MRE. Find the plastic pouch containing stuff whose description includes the word "bread" or "cake". Imagine that you and your partner are Frodo and Sam on the way to Mount Doom and that the stuff is really Lembas. Taste the stuff and spit it out when you realize it tastes more like Orc bile. Option #4: Open the package containing the MRE. Find the plastic pouch containing stuff that has the word "beverage" associated with it, as in "Cherry Flavored Beverage Base". Pour ten or twelve ounces of potable water into a cup. Throw the "beverage base" away and drink the water. Option #5: If you are absolutely starving to death, McDonald's has been flattened by a tornado, the cats have run off in fear of becoming moo-goo-gai-pan, and you just can't find any earthworms, you may actually have to EAT the MRE. In that case, follow instructions in Option #2 above but DON'T feed it to the dog. Instead, find the small bottle of Tabasco sauce included in the little hermetically sealed pouch that also includes matches, salt, pepper and the chewing gum that sticks to your fillings. In fact, you've probably been saving the Tabasco from all the other MRE's you've been feeding to the cat or using for target practice, haven't you? We hope so. Anyway, pour at least one full bottle of Tabasco sauce on the contents of whatever kind of crap was in the pouches you heated up, stir, and eat the resulting mass using your olive drab MRE plastic eating spoon. The objective is to apply Tabasco sauce in sufficient strength that the Tabasco is ALL you can taste. If you are able to taste anything other than Tabasco, add more Tabasco. WARNING: Do not, under any circumstances, eat anything found in any pouch contained in an MRE if that item has the word "cheese" associated with it in any way. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Stilly River Sage Date: 11 Nov 04 - 04:16 PM So rustle up some Turkey Oak for ornamental use at the thanskgiving table. And think of all of those downed leaves and woodchips that you can use to make a special fragrant mix of Florida pot pourri for the holiday season! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Stilly River Sage Date: 11 Nov 04 - 11:57 AM BWL I have done a little Mudcat research on your behalf and dragged up from way down in my Personal Links the page for Mudcat Crafters and associated it with the BWL and Ivan thread. Who knows, maybe there will be a steady trickle of visitors rapping, rapping at your chamber door, crying "turkey oak, forever more." Ooops. . .wrong holiday coming up. . . |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rustic Rebel Date: 11 Nov 04 - 12:54 AM Because I have elected myself to be advisor of things that are unadvisable, or not advised, I do not advise that you talk about wood like it is some kind of second class citizen. I would like to advise you all that wood is not only a first class citizen of this world,but without it we would be in dire danger of not being able to have coffee tables. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 10 Nov 04 - 10:09 PM It won't work for a string of consequetive numbers beginning with zero, then, huh? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 10 Nov 04 - 09:39 PM Correction: I should have said "any string of consecutive numbers beginning with one". Won't work otherwise. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 10 Nov 04 - 09:08 PM I do. Winning bar bets, for one. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 10 Nov 04 - 08:07 PM Boy! Talk about some useless friggin' information.... If you take any string of consecutive numbers, add them together, and divide the result by the last number in the string, the result will be one-half of that last number plus one-half. For example: 1+2+3+4+5+6+7+8+9=45 45/9=5 9/2=4.5 So 45/9=(9/2)+1/2 I see absolutely no practical application for this phenomenon. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 10 Nov 04 - 04:43 PM Yeah, BillD said his van is not dependable enough to do a Florida trip. And he's wanting live oak which I don't have any of. There's tons of it around, but not on my spread. I have laurel oak which is live oak's more erect cousin. They both stay green through the winter and drop their leaves in the early spring. By the way, live oaks were once harvested extensively around here for use in making ribs for the hulls of sailing ships. The limbs grow with a natural curvature so they could be made into the desired rib shape with minimal hewing. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 10 Nov 04 - 03:36 PM So would my niece, who could use them for her college sculpture class. She's really into wood as a sculpture medium. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: MMario Date: 10 Nov 04 - 03:02 PM hmmmm- have you communicated with BillD? He is known to appreciate chunks of wood. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 10 Nov 04 - 02:57 PM I hope BWL will chunk a piece of wood on this fire every so often to help out now that he's back. Okay. In fact, here are chunks of all the species of trees growing on my property that Hurricane Ivan uprooted, broke, split, crushed, or knocked over: Slash Pine Loblolly Pine Spruce Pine Longleaf Pine Pond Pine Southern Red Cedar Laurel Oak Turkey Oak Water Oak Post Oak Southern Magnolia Black Tupelo Flowering Dogwood Sweetbay Sweetgum Common Persimmon Chickasaw Plum Tulip Poplar American Holly Southern Bayberry Florida Maple And several others that I haven't identified. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 10 Nov 04 - 01:28 PM It's "bores a-ranting." You can't find it because of the misspelling. You also spelling "bares" wrong, but why you'd want to go fishing in the nude in December escapes me. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: GUEST,MMario Date: 10 Nov 04 - 12:03 PM just popping in to complain - because a few years ago I found se3veral older variants of the twelve days of christmas - filled with things like "boars a ranting" and "Bears a-baiting" - and I can't find any of them now! So MOAB, it's all BS - as you know. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Stilly River Sage Date: 10 Nov 04 - 10:52 AM Here I am, talking to myself, just to boost Mom MOAB back to the top. I hope BWL will chunk a piece of wood on this fire every so often to help out now that he's back. |
