BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Dec 14 - 08:13 AM

Break that into two sentences for better grammar, logic, and comprehension.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Dec 14 - 10:28 PM

Best of luck, you fatuous aeolist I do not fear your sententious bravado!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Dec 14 - 09:49 PM

Narcissistic? Moi? Heavens to Betsy, you defame me! I would no more be self-centered than I'd be a Republican living with the rest of them in San Diego!

I'd file a tort action for defamation, but it's probably too much trouble. Instead I'll just hack Santa Claus' computers and put your name on the 'naughty' list.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Dec 14 - 10:37 AM

Well, no one ever said delusory narcissism was going to be EASY, Rapp. There's a price to pay for such extremes of self-indulgence. Just ask Chongo, if you can reach him before he takes off for Cape Kennedy.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Dec 14 - 08:55 AM

51800.

Geez, I gotta do EVERYTHING around here! Slop the hogs, plow the back forty, clean the house, harvest the hops, grow the grain, distill Amos' "medicine", mend the clothes, clean the chimney for Santa, bake his cookies, and milk the cow. And all the while I have to sleep in the cinders with Little Orphant Annie -- at least HER cinders are cold!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Dec 14 - 08:49 PM

Is it going to be anyone we might know? You know, volunteering for the good of humanity and all that?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Dec 14 - 01:43 PM

You do the math.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Dec 14 - 12:06 AM

Our Coast--the Western one--is never quite all clear, I'm afraid. When the south end of it is dazzlingly pellucid, the hills in the North are swamped with low lying fog banks. When the Los Angeles Basin is mysteriously glass-like, the eastern borders of the coastal region are battered with drizzle or downpour. In between times the forest fires send mountainous threads of smoke into the arroyos leading tot he sea, and clutter the view up something wicked. Thus we are never quite in the clear. Whoever posed the question originally must have been thinking of the East coast.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Dec 14 - 04:03 PM

Is the Costa Rica clear yet?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 21 Dec 14 - 11:40 AM

Bacon is most likely cheaper, so I'll stick with the real product.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Dec 14 - 09:24 AM

You know that you can use Beggin Strips instead of "real bacon" and no one will know the difference, don't you?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 20 Dec 14 - 09:29 PM

I'm down to a couple of bowls of tomatoes from the garden that are still ripening on the kitchen counter. Come xmas day I will be able to offer my lovely daughter Moonglow a BLT from homegrown tomatoes. There are enough for both of us. Her father may come over also, but he eschews bacon and might at best eat a tomato with a little salt.

Tonight I simmered the already ripe tomatoes and made a fine concoction - homemade tomato sauce. It will go in the freezer because it's too much work to set up the canning apparatus and process. And I have to start making cookies. Spritz, anyone?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Dec 14 - 02:56 PM

The really evil kind.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Dec 14 - 01:37 PM

Well, maybe I'm wrong; maybe you're some other kind.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Dec 14 - 09:55 AM

Nooooooooooooooooo!

I know what they did with my teeth and why, but the tooth fairy put money under my pillow and I never had any money!!

So I can't be my own tooth fairy!

Res ipsos loquitor, as we used to say when I was growing up.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Dec 14 - 12:43 AM

Rapp, you should be told the truth: you are your own tooth fairy.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Dec 14 - 11:20 PM

And teeth! I never bought that tooth fairy thing. I knew the government just wanted my DNA for its secret store of only the finest DNA!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Dec 14 - 11:17 AM

Did I mention the leprosy and the necrotizing fasciitis and the gangrene? Also, I am FORCED to cut off parts like nails and hair!!!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 18 Dec 14 - 10:18 PM

Rap, you exaggerate. Nothing is actually falling off and they'll repair that knee in situ.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Dec 14 - 09:59 PM

Well, on the 30th I go see an orthopedic surgeon about repairing my RIGHT knee. Medial meniscus tear. If all goes well the surgery will be the week of January 11. This should be arthroscopic surgery, but I'm getting sick and tired of slowly falling to pieces.

Of course, I did this while Pat was in the hospital and I was rushing around Doing Things.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 18 Dec 14 - 02:17 PM

Sounds like a lovely sofa, Amos. I had a futon that was comfortable and the dogs loved it (with many layers on it to keep the dog smell from lodging in the mattress) but it took up too much space so I donated it to the Salvation Army. I still miss it, but I do enjoy being able to walk into the room and move around easily. The kids now have more or less abandoned their bedrooms so those beds are used for guests.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Dec 14 - 08:58 AM

Wow, GUEST. You seem to know Amos' housing condition. But since only very wealthy Republicans can live in the Marine-Corps-protected gated community of Sandy Ego I suspect you're right. I was there, once, to see my nephew graduate from (or into?) the Marines. He was handed a rubber truncheon and a pistol and told to "break the *&$%!! heads of any **@@##!!!$% who tries to disturb the peace of those who live here and whom we are sworn to protect." "Protecting" meant beating senseless, dumping into a boat, and tossing overboard beyond the three-mile limit, all the riff-raff, hippies, and ne'er-do-wells.

It ruined him. Now he's studying to be an electrical engineer instead of reading and writing the poetry he loved.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Dec 14 - 09:30 PM

You COULD put your guests up in that six bedroom, 5 bath guesthouse you have attached to the Big House and near, but upwind, from your stables. Of course, then your guests might see the servants' quarters under your stables.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Dec 14 - 05:04 PM

We have a beautiful new sofa arriving this afternoon. It has a magic bed inside it. We can stop putting people up on air mattresses! Won't that be uptown??

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Dec 14 - 11:07 AM

A British warplane?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Dec 14 - 08:54 PM

The squirrels won. The hawk wanted dinner, but dinner kept above her and among the branches so she couldn't get them. Then the squirrels broke off branches and dropped them on her. She put up with it for a while but moved on to an easier meal.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Dec 14 - 03:58 PM

Just spent 20 minutes or so watching a Northern Harrier (female) try to catch some squirrels in the trees just outside my backyard fence.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 16 Dec 14 - 11:40 AM

Considering the length of the thread it may be extreme nit-picking, but I removed Rap's duplicate post. We don't want to be accused of repeating ourselves in this grand endeavor.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Dec 14 - 09:33 AM

Assuming, Amos, that the speed was instantly reached with the pitch, you wouldn't have to worry about the mass because the atoms in front of the object would be fused together by it (assuming it didn't instantly ignite). These would set off further fusion events.

Do you know what energy is released by a fusion event? HINT: Fusion powers the stars.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 16 Dec 14 - 02:05 AM

My rolls are well-shaped and tasty. Not as dense as any ol' galaxy.

Okay, that was the straight line . . .

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Dec 14 - 11:49 PM

AT .9c the roll would have more mass than the Milky Way. Who'd want to bite into that?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Dec 14 - 08:56 PM

Today I received a book called "What if?" by Randall Munroe. One of the questions in it deals with the effects a baseball (or a roll) thrown at 0.9c. The results are interesting, to say the least, and would give a fresh look to food fights.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 15 Dec 14 - 01:08 PM

Okay, it's going to be soup and rolls. Things that either you can't throw easily, or that can be cleaned up quickly.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Dec 14 - 12:32 PM

Yeah, man--are you an onanist or an oenophile!?? SUck it up and lend a hand!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Dec 14 - 08:46 AM

Oh, come on, LH! You know that Chongo's just pulling his own leg, given how old he is and all. I'm sure he won't act like a jerk. Sure, he's developed a taste for some things but he won't let that interfere with his beat, man.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Dec 14 - 10:24 PM

Chongo is busy dealing with attempts by someone to steal Kendall's identity on Facebook. He says he's going to "annihilate the creep". He'll deal with you two later, okay?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Dec 14 - 10:12 PM

Come come, gentlemen; you will never get to the root of the matter quibbling like this. We need to stand strong on middle ground here, or we shall all deflate separately.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Dec 14 - 08:06 PM

Why should you care about your mother, Chongo? You sold her and your sister Chinga into A Life Of Shame to get money for your passage to America. In First Class, no less.

Regarding circumcisions, I guess he'd take a little off the top but you'd have to tip him or he'd throw you over the prepuce.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 14 Dec 14 - 01:01 PM

MOM wants to know if you guys are all sticking around for dinner. She sees a food fight coming on.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 14 Dec 14 - 11:53 AM

Leave my mother outta this, Amos...you damn dirty human!

Rap...I would be willin' to do one in yer case...with a rusty steak knife or a can opener.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Dec 14 - 11:08 PM

His mother WAS one!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 14 - 09:51 PM

Chongo, do you do circumcisions?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 13 Dec 14 - 08:42 PM

I understand the difference between a smart Chimp and a dumb human. Maybe you don't understand me. I am askin' exactly WHERE you want me to bite you, see? I mean on what part of yer anatomy?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Dec 14 - 08:25 PM

You don't understand.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 13 Dec 14 - 08:20 PM

Just tell me where.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Dec 14 - 07:13 PM

BITEME.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 13 Dec 14 - 12:37 PM

QA, NMJ.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 14 - 12:01 PM

HB, NG.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 14 - 10:16 PM

I ...let's just assume I'm right...

December 13, 2014, is the 378th birthday of the National Guard.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Dec 14 - 09:25 PM

Long live the bright! And, glad to hear about rain in the drought stricken. Now... stop fracking and conserve water.