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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 16 Nov 17 - 09:14 PM
gnu 17 Nov 17 - 04:49 PM
Stilly River Sage 18 Nov 17 - 11:35 AM
Rapparee 18 Nov 17 - 11:54 AM
keberoxu 18 Nov 17 - 05:12 PM
Rapparee 18 Nov 17 - 08:34 PM
Stilly River Sage 18 Nov 17 - 10:22 PM
Amos 19 Nov 17 - 09:31 AM
Amos 19 Nov 17 - 09:32 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 19 Nov 17 - 05:18 PM
Donuel 20 Nov 17 - 07:03 AM
Rapparee 20 Nov 17 - 10:56 AM
gnu 20 Nov 17 - 06:19 PM
Amos 21 Nov 17 - 01:07 PM
Rapparee 22 Nov 17 - 04:04 PM
Stilly River Sage 22 Nov 17 - 05:09 PM
gnu 22 Nov 17 - 05:18 PM
Rapparee 22 Nov 17 - 07:49 PM
keberoxu 22 Nov 17 - 10:34 PM
Stilly River Sage 23 Nov 17 - 09:26 AM
Amos 23 Nov 17 - 01:51 PM
Amos 24 Nov 17 - 09:25 AM
keberoxu 24 Nov 17 - 02:08 PM
Amos 25 Nov 17 - 01:48 PM
khandu 25 Nov 17 - 08:37 PM
khandu 25 Nov 17 - 08:58 PM
Rapparee 25 Nov 17 - 09:55 PM
Amos 26 Nov 17 - 08:53 AM
Stilly River Sage 26 Nov 17 - 10:27 AM
khandu 26 Nov 17 - 11:23 AM
Rapparee 26 Nov 17 - 10:09 PM
Rapparee 28 Nov 17 - 10:01 AM
Vashta Nerada 28 Nov 17 - 10:50 AM
Rapparee 28 Nov 17 - 10:08 PM
Amos 28 Nov 17 - 10:51 PM
Rapparee 29 Nov 17 - 09:12 AM
keberoxu 29 Nov 17 - 03:45 PM
Donuel 29 Nov 17 - 04:00 PM
Rapparee 29 Nov 17 - 09:16 PM
Donuel 29 Nov 17 - 09:21 PM
Rapparee 30 Nov 17 - 04:22 PM
Rapparee 30 Nov 17 - 04:24 PM
Amos 01 Dec 17 - 01:26 AM
Rapparee 01 Dec 17 - 09:08 AM
Stilly River Sage 02 Dec 17 - 12:53 AM
Rapparee 02 Dec 17 - 05:10 PM
Stilly River Sage 03 Dec 17 - 12:19 PM
Donuel 03 Dec 17 - 02:33 PM
MMario 03 Dec 17 - 03:26 PM
Donuel 03 Dec 17 - 03:37 PM

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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Nov 17 - 09:14 PM

SOMEBODY SAID THAT IT COULDN'T BE DONE

Somebody said that it couldn't be done--
But he, with a grin, replied,
He'd never be one to say it couldn't be done--
Leastways, not 'til he'd tried.
So he buckled right in, with a trace of a grin,
By golly, he went right to it!
He tackled The Thing That Couldn't Be Done!
And he couldn't do it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Nov 17 - 04:49 PM

Haven't be able to hunt for about 8 years. I hunt vicariously through others in the NB hunting forums. Got some buddies that hunt and they share when they are successful.

So, last night, fried onions on the go and then a moose steak. DEEEEElicious! Thanks again, Eric. You're one of the good guys.
Tonight? More onions! Elk steak from AB! I was talking to a teller (lovely young lady) at my bank a while back about the weather and said I wished I could still get up to the Kent County woods. She asked me if I hunted. Long story but she loves to get out in the woods and her close relatives got an elk in AB so I will be peeling onions soon.

Moose last night. Elk tonight. Don't get no better than that!
First time for elk for me. The steaks look really nice.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 18 Nov 17 - 11:35 AM

I've had all three, they're all delicious. One of the perks of having friends who hunt.

MOM, they're making a huge mess and a lot of noise in the front yard today. The guy who built this house had some peculiar ideas about landscaping and they're having to break through a chunk of concrete foundation that once held up a butt-ugly stone planter box. The sewer line being replaced runs under the corner of it. They're pretty self-contained, I'm in the way if I'm out there much. The best thing I can do is stay out from underfoot, and I'll watch the equipment when they go take lunch.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Nov 17 - 11:54 AM

Explosives, I tell you!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 18 Nov 17 - 05:12 PM

Hang in there, Acme.

First, employment for the adult children.
Next, straighten out kinky plumbing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Nov 17 - 08:34 PM

Explosives can clean out your drains!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 18 Nov 17 - 10:22 PM

True, but they mess up the yard even more than an excavator.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Nov 17 - 09:31 AM

I woke up this morning in North Carolina. I had no idea! What a lovely state of affairs. :D

The iatrogenic suffering has now subsided. I can pee standing up without cursing and moaning, and in normal colors, too! Meanwhile, while I am sure I have excellent doctors, it is strange for me to be on such foreign soil, listening to well-informed dissertations on such things as metastasis and the side-effects of chemotherapy compounds.

I have concluded that being diagnosed with this condition of "cancer" is a little bit like being Jewish. It's something you don't just forget, and even when you put your mind on other things, it always pops up in remindment, a continuous subcurrent and psychic nagging presence.

In any case we are forging ahead; new PET scans and MRI have been requested to determine the boundary conditions.

It's kinda boring, actually, and I think in the future I will talk about something else.

Oy, vey! :D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Nov 17 - 09:32 AM

The iatrogenic suffering has now subsided. I can pee standing up without cursing and moaning, and in normal colors, too! Meanwhile, while I am sure I have excellent doctors, it is strange for me to be on such foreign soil, listening to well-informed dissertations on such things as metastasis and the side-effects of chemotherapy compounds.

I have concluded that being diagnosed with this condition of "cancer" is a little bit like being Jewish. It's something you don't just forget, and even when you put your mind on other things, it always pops up in remindment, a continuous subcurrent and psychic nagging presence.

In any case we are forging ahead; new PET scans and MRI have been requested to determine the boundary conditions.

It's kinda boring, actually, and I think in the future I will talk about something else.

Oy, vey! :D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Nov 17 - 05:18 PM

Hi, Mom!

Why do people say someone is "naked as a jaybird"? Aren't all birds naked? How is a jaybird more naked than a mockingbird or a ruffed grouse?

I think I shall say "naked as a pileated woodpecker" from now on. Pileated woodpeckers are no more or less naked than jaybirds, but I like them a whole lot more.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 20 Nov 17 - 07:03 AM

The first entirely self cloned organ is the human bladder
The Sphinx like secret is still the sphincter


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Nov 17 - 10:56 AM

Congratulations, Amos! You're a big boy now!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 20 Nov 17 - 06:19 PM

A... Keep your stick on the ice, keep your laces tight, and keep your head up coming across the blue line. We're all in this together.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Nov 17 - 01:07 PM

Oh, thanks, thanks, I am sure. This is not my bullet, just a raving pain-in-th-ass distraction from more important things. Here I was, wandering through the forest minding my own beeswax, and suddenly I am jumped by a gang of polysyllabic medicine men with incantations and sparkly masks. Where's Rama of the Jungle when you need him? As I said, them as is born to hang ain't gonna drown.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Nov 17 - 04:04 PM

You'll get through it, Amos. Then you too can be singing this song.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 22 Nov 17 - 05:09 PM

Coming up - the annual full-body workout, accomplished in the kitchen, at the end up which every part of me aches from walking around, standing, shifting, lifting, clearing, and cleaning. Otherwise known as the Thanksgiving dinner.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Nov 17 - 05:18 PM

FOUR lobsters. 1.53kg in total. Fresh cooked by my guy Marc. $78!!! He didn't even charge me the extra $1 a pound ta cook 'em with little salt. I HATE the Japanese and the Chinese and the Europeans! Sweet gentle sufferin' Jaysus. $14/# for ****ing lobster? Big jets fly out of Moncton every night carrying lobsters to foreign countries... the bastards!

But, Mum turns 91 tomorrow so I would have paid twice the price for a good feed. Cooked a big 'special' dinner on Sunday. Got her two dozen roses on Monday. Lobster today. Nana's Bakery coconut cream pie tomorrow after a seafood platter from Skipper Jack's tomorrow. And, not only a Bday card from me but one from our MP. I might not show her the one from our MP... might upset her to see how the MP is wasting tax dollars... I ordered it so I could post this waste of time and money on social media.

Hope all is okay with with you all. gnightgnu


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Nov 17 - 07:49 PM

None but the brave! La garde meurt et ne se rend pas !


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 22 Nov 17 - 10:34 PM

Wishing all of you a safe and healthy Thanksgiving.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 23 Nov 17 - 09:26 AM

The chocolate Lab Zeke was the handy cleanup crew when I dropped the yogurt container. I think that inoculated the day from further food disasters. Getting it over with early.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Nov 17 - 01:51 PM

I am very grateful for the energy and skill that others expend on my behalf, both directly and indirectly.

Other things for which gratitude wells up: the love of good companions, of family, and of kind souls in small towns. The wealth provided by long experience and a sense of humor. A life free of entangling bureaucracies and multi-tiered administrative gobbledygook (except, of course, when dealing with gummint agencies, health care organizations, insurance, taxes, and large corporate help desks.) A long life in good health, more or less, and a head full of wonderful songs and the will to sing 'em (regardless of ability). A wife I could not live without, a son in whom I am right proud, and a dog who seems to adore me, when hungry. For a lovely home and family with whom to share it, for the silence of the woods and the soft whisper of history that surrounds the colonial town where I live, and the lonesome whistle of the North Carolina RR as it rattles through town. And the stark bright blue of the North Carolina skies, and the thrill of belonging to a country in which I can still invest my affection and pride despite all the strange challenges of the last decade.

And for all of you, good Mudcat souls hither and yon!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Nov 17 - 09:25 AM

The day's gone by, the dead birds are now chilled, the pies and potatos mere memories or left-overs. Mom is still snoozing on her chaise, having stuffed herself to the gills with pecan pie, candied yams, cranberries sucrés, and seet post-prandial liqueurs. The rest of the world has awoken and has embraced the business of the Friday morning after.

Happy Friday, Mom. Here's some black coffee for you to kickstart the circulation!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 24 Nov 17 - 02:08 PM

For Thanksgiving I had an entrée salad with chicken breast
instead of turkey-with-all-the-fixin's.

And slept better that night than I have
after many an overstuffed Thanksgiving. Lesson learned?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Nov 17 - 01:48 PM

ALas, daily duties go on, just when everything is supposed to turn magical. Never you mind, Mom. We still care and will see you through to another K.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 25 Nov 17 - 08:37 PM

Hello Mom! A Happy Holiday season to you and all those who have faithfully filled you with undefiled BS! You have done her proud!
I thank ye for being such good children.

My best to all of you in the this land of MOAB. Amos, press on, Buddy! We rooting for ye! Attitude makes a big difference and you have one!(Insert smiley face at this point),

Speaking of points, I want to remind all of you of Words of Prophetic Utterance, uh, uttered by that wise sage of the Land of BS, Little Hawk;
words of which I, my Royal Self, was reminded as Hortense C. Durp read to my Royal Self a mere 17 moments ago, as she renewed my memories of the genesis of Mom. Indeed, it was a return to the days of yore as I listened to the voice of Durp recite the Joyous Angst of those worrisome and wearisome days, when we were much younger and full of the stuff of which this wondrous Thread has been built.

Read Now, the Utterance of Little Hawk, a man of my ilk.


Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk - PM
Date: 07 May 03 - 01:24 PM

The situation will definitely get worse. Solipsism will increase exponentially. The lowly fart joke will be buried under an avalanche of less predictable drivel. People's intelligence will be insulted. Their tolerance will be put to the test. William Shatner references will pop up in all kinds of places where they patently do not belong.

Those who were not alive to witness this exciting time will envy those of us who lived through it. These are the days of legend, the best of times and the worst of times. Thesa are the salad days. This is the cherry on the cake, the turd in the crapper.

Cherish it, ye heathen! (While yet ye may...)

- LH



I am muzzled, stricken with Awe. Hail to Thee, Hawk of Little.

King knardazz, uh,(that damned Tweed!) khandu of the Ethereal Kingdom of Mississippi...He who still proclaims, "Joe Offer is no Igmo"!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 25 Nov 17 - 08:58 PM

The Queen Cheryl came in aghast and angry. I left out another wondrous Utterance...
Behold for yourselves;


Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel - PM
Date: 07 May 03 - 09:44 PM

The mother of all threads, that's what King K. said,
trying hard to perpetuate a scene.
To behave, is simply a jesterly thing, and the situation close to obscene.
King K. proclaimed that the thread will be, nothing less than purlieu.
Start it and they will come, and leave as quickly when they read it through.
To come here with anything less than bullshit, would be a subject of a different matter,
This would be an outrage, an act of defiance, the King will have your head on a platter.
So listen to your head, and this bullshit thread,
and let the words flow from your hearts
King K's thread is here stay , and for ever a place for Spaws farts.
The End.
Rustic



I am ashamed and agog at my misstep. And I am in Royal Tears as I read such Beautiful Poetry coming from the bowels of MOM!

Is not Life Grand!

Kk, KOTEKOM


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Nov 17 - 09:55 PM

We find the usurper, yclept "King Khandu", is visiting in this, Our realm. This will be tolerated, but it is strictly forbidden to eulogize or praise him.

We have spoken.


Emperor Rapparee, Imperious Rex         ®    His Mark


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Nov 17 - 08:53 AM

I knew Rapp would go too far one day. Messing with Mom's breakfast cereal was bad enough. Now he wants to go mano-a-mano with our Founding King. The man is clearly a public disgrace for this wild-eyed act of lese-majeste, and should be contained. I think the bad boys in that mad-ass club of his should round him up. The very idea of out-deigning the King hisself is disgustipatin', is what.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 26 Nov 17 - 10:27 AM

I miss Spaw. Thanks for the reminder. Rustic still drops in occasionally.

MOM, do you want me to plant Brussels Sprouts in the winter garden this year? They look gnarly but I'm not fond of eating them. #VegetablesAsYardArt


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 26 Nov 17 - 11:23 AM

Rap...when I read nothing worthy of note, I do not make note of it! I am certain Amos and his ilk will handle you. Posthaste!

Amos, Spaw's farts still waft through the hall of MOAB. Or perhaps that is the essence of his spirit we occasionally get a whiff of.

Give all my best until next time!

ken


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Nov 17 - 10:09 PM

That last message was from some imposter imposting as me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Nov 17 - 10:01 AM

Gracious me! Mom's sliding down the BS again. Now she has to go change clothes so we can burn those she was wearing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Vashta Nerada
Date: 28 Nov 17 - 10:50 AM

Such histrionics, but MOM is accustomed to that from her unusual Double I (Indiana/Idaho) child.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Nov 17 - 10:08 PM

Should you be talking about me, make it Triple-I: Illinois, Indiana, and Idaho. I've lived in all three for more than a few years. (I mean, South Bend, IN? I lived there, in the shadow of the Golden Dome, for 16 years.) I've also been alive in Iowa, but I was only passin' through.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Nov 17 - 10:51 PM

Remains to be determined as to who was passing what through which, but let history be the judge, if the evidence in the air lasts that long. When, by the way, does history do judging? After a year? A decade? What's the rule here?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Nov 17 - 09:12 AM

Amos, History sits like Jabba the Hutt, huge and gross and reeking of both ancient evil and ancient good, with Reason and Thought chained to its throne like Princess Leia. History uses Reason and Thought for unspeakable acts, but at other times they pull a fast one and perform an unspeakable act on History.

You ask when it is that History starts judging. It depends upon how long it takes History to stop licking its fingers after picking its nose.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 29 Nov 17 - 03:45 PM

Thanks for bringing a smile to my face, khandu.

It's easier, oddly enough, to let MOM slide
with the three-day limit
than it was with the twenty-four-hour limit on current threads.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 29 Nov 17 - 04:00 PM

Rap judging by the minerals missing in Ill. and Ind., how are your teeth?

Changing the representative symbols and characters in movies to fit a new scenario is fun. Got more?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Nov 17 - 09:16 PM

Donuel, it depends upon the topic. I'm not hipster, referencing every new pop culture icon. If I were, I'd have references to the Hillsborough Hit in every sentence; as it is I'm usually glad to know Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 29 Nov 17 - 09:21 PM

"History sits like Jabba..." is comedy platinum for Irwin Corey or Robin Wright or Bodhi Sativa or even better, you Rap.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Nov 17 - 04:22 PM

Donuel just copped 56789.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Nov 17 - 04:24 PM

That was me! I did it! (Math has never been my strong point.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Dec 17 - 01:26 AM

Oh,chilluns, chilluns, why you got to act this a-way? Ain't I allus taught y'all to go for the K? That's what matters. You=all gots to keep yo' eye on da prize, is all!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Dec 17 - 09:08 AM

That number I got was certainly nice but just as certainly not prime.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 02 Dec 17 - 12:53 AM

A whole lot of frowny faces are scrolling from right to left across the Facebook screen of the current voting in the Senate on what they euphemistically call "tax reform." MOM threw her beer at the TV. It didn't even splash on the set because she just tossed the contents, didn't throw the mug as well. The carpet cleaner should be able to take care of the puddle.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Dec 17 - 05:10 PM

She was drinking beer??? That's unusual. For her, that is. The proof is way,way, too low. Or did she dump schnapps in it to make a "depth charge" as she usually does with beer?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 03 Dec 17 - 12:19 PM

It was one of those Texas beers, the Shiner Bock black lager. Really makes a stain on the carpet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 03 Dec 17 - 02:33 PM

What I love about MOM's thread
is she goes over my head
under my bed
around all the dread
and remains well bred


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 03 Dec 17 - 03:26 PM

"William Shatner references will pop up in all kinds of places where they patently do not belong."

Is there any place they do belong?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 03 Dec 17 - 03:37 PM

ICBM launch facilities?


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