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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Bee-dubya-ell 21 Sep 18 - 08:12 PM
Little Hawk 21 Sep 18 - 01:18 PM
Donuel 21 Sep 18 - 05:38 AM
Little Hawk 20 Sep 18 - 10:38 PM
Rapparee 20 Sep 18 - 09:15 PM
Stilly River Sage 20 Sep 18 - 06:06 PM
Donuel 20 Sep 18 - 08:16 AM
Amos 19 Sep 18 - 11:12 PM
Stilly River Sage 19 Sep 18 - 11:00 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 19 Sep 18 - 06:58 PM
Amos 19 Sep 18 - 12:59 PM
Rapparee 18 Sep 18 - 10:38 PM
keberoxu 18 Sep 18 - 06:58 PM
Donuel 18 Sep 18 - 06:47 AM
Rapparee 17 Sep 18 - 09:17 PM
Stilly River Sage 17 Sep 18 - 01:02 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 16 Sep 18 - 11:32 PM
Donuel 16 Sep 18 - 10:08 PM
Rapparee 16 Sep 18 - 10:00 PM
keberoxu 16 Sep 18 - 06:53 PM
Little Hawk 15 Sep 18 - 10:37 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 Sep 18 - 12:57 PM
Rapparee 14 Sep 18 - 10:54 PM
Little Hawk 14 Sep 18 - 10:21 PM
keberoxu 14 Sep 18 - 09:32 PM
Little Hawk 14 Sep 18 - 01:16 AM
Rapparee 13 Sep 18 - 08:57 PM
Rapparee 13 Sep 18 - 01:34 PM
keberoxu 12 Sep 18 - 09:16 PM
Rapparee 11 Sep 18 - 09:25 PM
gnu 11 Sep 18 - 11:47 AM
Donuel 11 Sep 18 - 06:03 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Sep 18 - 11:39 PM
Little Hawk 10 Sep 18 - 09:56 PM
Rapparee 10 Sep 18 - 09:23 PM
Stilly River Sage 10 Sep 18 - 08:42 PM
Donuel 10 Sep 18 - 06:21 PM
Little Hawk 10 Sep 18 - 06:00 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Sep 18 - 10:39 PM
Rapparee 09 Sep 18 - 07:26 PM
keberoxu 09 Sep 18 - 07:16 PM
Rapparee 09 Sep 18 - 07:03 PM
keberoxu 09 Sep 18 - 06:13 PM
Donuel 09 Sep 18 - 10:53 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Sep 18 - 08:19 PM
Donuel 08 Sep 18 - 08:34 AM
Rapparee 07 Sep 18 - 10:41 PM
Rapparee 07 Sep 18 - 10:28 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 07 Sep 18 - 08:45 PM
gnu 07 Sep 18 - 01:59 PM

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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Sep 18 - 08:12 PM

I'm having a hard time imagining a region in which Shane would be a hero.

The nearest thing I can come up with is a vast area where human potential is expressed in negative numbers. Sort of like a run-down trailer park the size of Rhode Island.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Sep 18 - 01:18 PM

Once again, the hero of his entire region.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 21 Sep 18 - 05:38 AM

Way up on blind river it began to rain
where no one could see.
Down in the lowlands the roads of water
rose to an inland sea.
Shane didn't mind the rain until utterly drunk
he fell in a gutter
He floated half drowned for miles and
slammed into the dam with a shudder.
She was about to break when Shane called
the tavern in town
"if ya could dump some bottles in the gutter
she'll make a damn good
trip all the way down to the damn dam"
They put 2 & 2 together
and that's how Shane saved the town


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Sep 18 - 10:38 PM

An inspired piece of writing, Rap!

We need a similar song for Shane McBride to help raise him out of a deadly hangover after another lost weekend of feckless partying and debauchery. It happens pretty regularly. There isn't a lot to do in Blind River.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 18 - 09:15 PM

He went down one September in a pourin' drivin' rain
Mom she had been drinkin' and Amos felt no pain,
Too close to mighty Florence when he felt the awful blow
And poor old Amos Jessup settled low.

There were just his sibs about him when he finally was a-slosh,
We worked like hell to save him, and never mind the cost!
But the moan he gave as he fell down it caused us to proclaim
That the mighty Amos Jessup'd stand again!

CH.: Stand again! Stand again!
So his name it won't be sullied in the mem'ry of [wo]men
All those who cared a lot and saw him land on his end
Will help the mighty Amos Jessup rise again!

(More to come? and apologies to Stan Rogers)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 20 Sep 18 - 06:06 PM

Sounds like you landed in an excellent place, Amos!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 20 Sep 18 - 08:16 AM

A song of thanks for your good fortune on your birthday saxophone and medieval choir


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Sep 18 - 11:12 PM

I doubt that he would have been granted admission past the town line. This town is full of retired civil rights marchers and flower children now wilted. Still spirited though. :D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 19 Sep 18 - 11:00 PM

Thank you for checking in, Mr. A. It's good to know that The Donald won't be there to fling Bounty paper towel rolls in your direction.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Sep 18 - 06:58 PM

It's good to hear Amos is okay. But if things had gone otherwise, "The Drowning of Amos Jessup" would have made a catchy title for a folk song.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Sep 18 - 12:59 PM

We got a little bit wet, but no great shakes. A huge oak a block from here went down in a light wind--rotten to the core--and took out all the town's power for hours. Must've been a Republican tree. Even claimed to be a Red Oak. Wasn't wearing one of them red hats, though. But we are well and weather now balmy. Florence the Giraffe is firmly installed looking over the roadway just in front, unnerving the passersby by sticking out her little sheet-metal tongue at them, forever.

There was flooding in the lower areas of town but no huge harm. Further out the Interstate looked like the Missississippi River. That's what real gennulmen from down here in the South call it, anyway.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Sep 18 - 10:38 PM

Mom doesn't mind. She is used to being pounded. Then, like Jörmungandr, she will rise up and devour the others. Like Yggdrasil she stands, suffering more than anyone can know, but Mom will prevail! All other threads will fall before her!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 18 Sep 18 - 06:58 PM

Ach, Mom,
you are taking a pounding from
all the other BS thread on top of yours.
Let's defy gravity one more time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 18 Sep 18 - 06:47 AM

Iwin & Yousefer Personal Injury Lawyers


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Sep 18 - 09:17 PM

How about the firm of Tak, Damuny, and Runne? Or Billum and Bigge?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 17 Sep 18 - 01:02 PM

Dewey, Cheetum and Howe. I wonder if any of the old radio shows are still out there now that Garrison has apparently joined the #MeToo list. Some of the folks who were fingered seem to be resisting the accusations, and I think he's one. He might want to switch law firms.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Sep 18 - 11:32 PM

Isn't Ask Long & Foster a corporate law firm? Or am I thinking of Live Long & Prosper?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 16 Sep 18 - 10:08 PM

Ask Long & Foster


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Sep 18 - 10:00 PM

If I go back to fencing do you think I will have to go electronic or will there be some old fogeys to steam fence with?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 16 Sep 18 - 06:53 PM

Gnu, thanks for telling us of your recent weight measurement.
My only question is,
is the weight reduction an improvement?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Sep 18 - 10:37 PM

Heh! I can see that you both have great know ledge of what I am talking about.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Sep 18 - 12:57 PM

I would attribute the decline in use of "twice" and "thrice" to the fact that they sound too much like imaginary diseases.

"Oh, my God! I went to the doctor and he said I have thrice! What am I gonna do?"

"Well, I've never had thrice, but I had a bad dose of twice a few years back. Penicillin cleared it right up."

"But thrice is 150% worse than twice. And, anyway, I'm allergic to penicillin. I can not take it."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Sep 18 - 10:54 PM

My self, I can not think that it is, for all intensive purposes, that it is even all most a problem. I say that two times, even three times! I can not say it over enough: it is not even all most a problem! Would you have me say that it is true for like a fail safe computer I tell you thrice? What do you expect, people to have put word lists or some thing in their mind?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Sep 18 - 10:21 PM

I also see people writing the word "myself" as "my self". Maybe it's texting that is causing these changes in the language. "ICU" now means "I see you". WTF? :D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 14 Sep 18 - 09:32 PM

Once more
into the breach, dear MOM,
once more ...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Sep 18 - 01:16 AM

Why are so many people online writing the word "intact" as two words ("in tact") these days? Then too, nobody seems to know the word "twice" any longer. They say "two times", but they never say "twice". Will "once" soon be altered to "one time" in order to simplify things and avoid confusing millennials? (rolling my eyes) I don't see people writing "cannot" any more either. Instead they write it as two words ("can not"). Are we merely witnessing the death of compound words or is it the end of literacy? What do you think, Rap?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Sep 18 - 08:57 PM

Of course, Mom was always great.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Sep 18 - 01:34 PM

Hoist Mom? Back up?

Make MOM Great Again!!!

MMGA!!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 12 Sep 18 - 09:16 PM

Let's hoist MOM up again.
Glad to see gnu posting, hope you're all right.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Sep 18 - 09:25 PM

That place in Salt Lake City has long been air conditioned. So are all the rest of them all over the world (and soon in Pocatello, Idaho!).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 11 Sep 18 - 11:47 AM

Cool temple.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 11 Sep 18 - 06:03 AM

A monsterous despicable twice flipped counter intellegence agent, yeah thats the ticket. That is a good character to develop as an unlikely anti hero.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Sep 18 - 11:39 PM

Felonious Gru is the lead character in the "Despicable Me" film series.

GRU is a Russian intelligence agency, successor to the KGB.

A grue is a monster. When something is described as gruesome, it's usually a grue's handiwork.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Sep 18 - 09:56 PM

Ah, yes, you are right. It is indeed "Groo the Wanderer" I was speaking of, and Rufferto, of course.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Sep 18 - 09:23 PM

LH, if you look closely that is "Groo."

K, if you receive such notify the postal inspectors. If it's actually threatening, notify the cops.

Donuel, this is Groot. Gru is "Gainseville Regional Utilities," a regional electric company in Florida. GRU also refers to the military intelligence arm of the Russian Army.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 10 Sep 18 - 08:42 PM

keberoxu, do what any good movie actor in the trenches would do - lob that stink bomb back in the direction from which it came, marked "Refused. Return To Sender."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 10 Sep 18 - 06:21 PM

You mean Groot LH. I am GRU.

I hope Amos lives atop a tall hill. He could be seeing 40 inches of rain.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Sep 18 - 06:00 PM

Rap - Gru is a character in a wonderfully funny series of comic magazines drawn by Sergio Aragones. He is what Conan would be like if Conan had an inspector Clouseau style tendency to misunderstand and screw up everything, causing mayhem and disaster wherever he goes. Gru is very good at ONE thing: killing vast numbers of people with his two swords. He employs only one of them in a standard fight, but if facing a really large number of hapless foes, he will use both swords, hacking down literally hundreds of poor wretches until the survivors scatter in all directions. Groo lives in an ancient time of swords and sorcery and makes his living wandering about looking for "a fray" (meaning another chance to kill people). He has a faithful canine companion named Rufferto. Rufferto is a lot smarter than Gru, although one could say that about almost any sentient life form. Next to Gru, Shane would appear almost intelligent. This is Gru, accompanied by Rufferto. Gru and Rufferto


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Sep 18 - 10:39 PM

Well, Star Trek's planet Moab IV is fictitious, but my planet Moab is real.

In a truly infinite universe with an infinite number of planetary names, it's inevitable that at least one will be named Moab. It's also inevitable that one will be named Planet, because in the solar system in which it's located, they don't call planets planets. They call them barcaloungers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Sep 18 - 07:26 PM

For informational purposes only:

The Moab system was an inhabited planetary system in the Moab sector. This system consisted of the primary Alpha Moab and six planets. In the mid-22nd century, a Human colony was established on Moab IV. See the Star Trek series.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 09 Sep 18 - 07:16 PM

Thanks, Rap. What is it about dental health and hearts? Veterinary doctors get really wound up about canine dental health regarding canine heart trouble.

My fellow BS Mothercatters,

-- !! I didn't mean it to sound like a euphemism,
but it sure does --

what would you all do,
if you expected someone to send you a passive-aggressive stinkbomb to your home address in the post?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Sep 18 - 07:03 PM

K, I'm going to cardiac rehabilitation, which is an attempt to make exercise feel good enough to become a regular part of my life. The infarct itself is irreversible, so I have to live with it. Right now it's kinda like the diabetes Type II I have (also courtesy of Agent Orange) -- well controlled and it scares the heck out of doctors and suchlike folks when I mention it (Dentist: "What's new?" Me: "Besides the heart attack?" Dentist: "WHAT!!!???").

Donuel, your spelling and grammar are atrocious in your last post. You might say, "I grew" or "I am grown" but "I am gru" is quite incorrect.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 09 Sep 18 - 06:13 PM

But Rapparee,
what about the infarct in a part of your heart?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 09 Sep 18 - 10:53 AM

I am Gru


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Sep 18 - 08:19 PM

The USAF's MOAB is a bomb, but our MOAB is da bomb.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 08 Sep 18 - 08:34 AM

And now something completely different

I suspect elephants not aliens.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Sep 18 - 10:41 PM

Well, it has been a fun couple of days.

Back in '62 or so my brother and I were plagued with chronic infections of our individual big toes -- mine left, his right. Eventually our respective toenails were removed, and that solved it.

However, the doctor left a tiny bit of something so that a nail of sorts would grow and protect the nailbed. The night before last my "nail" tore loose and was hanging by about hang of what should be there. Ouch, ouch, ouchy!

Today the podiatrist cut it off. The nail thingy, not my left great toe. Now the ouchy is different, and don't step on or otherwise annoy my toe if you wish not to become vitality-challenged.

Apparently this isn't too unusual because the doctor had a pre-made handout about toenail removal.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Sep 18 - 10:28 PM

Yes, there's a Moab, Utah. Nice place, good brewpub. There's also
a MOAB.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 Sep 18 - 08:45 PM

Yes, there is a city in Utah called Moab. There was also an ancient kingdom in part of what is now Jordan called Moab. In fact, given that there are billions of galaxies in the universe, each consisting of billions of stars, there is probably an entire planet somewhere called Moab. Just don't ask me exactly where it is.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Sep 18 - 01:59 PM

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moab,_Utah


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