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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 11 May 18 - 08:30 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 May 18 - 07:02 PM
Rapparee 11 May 18 - 10:16 AM
gnu 09 May 18 - 12:08 PM
Rapparee 09 May 18 - 09:33 AM
Stilly River Sage 08 May 18 - 11:03 PM
Rapparee 08 May 18 - 09:43 PM
Rapparee 08 May 18 - 09:01 PM
keberoxu 08 May 18 - 04:27 PM
Rapparee 07 May 18 - 11:32 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 07 May 18 - 04:24 AM
Stilly River Sage 06 May 18 - 09:32 PM
Rapparee 06 May 18 - 09:18 PM
Amos 06 May 18 - 05:33 PM
Rapparee 05 May 18 - 10:35 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 May 18 - 12:25 PM
gnu 04 May 18 - 11:14 AM
Rapparee 03 May 18 - 10:48 PM
Stilly River Sage 03 May 18 - 07:50 PM
keberoxu 03 May 18 - 07:39 PM
Donuel 02 May 18 - 06:06 PM
Donuel 02 May 18 - 05:46 PM
Amos 02 May 18 - 04:41 PM
Donuel 02 May 18 - 02:19 PM
keberoxu 01 May 18 - 07:48 PM
Stilly River Sage 01 May 18 - 07:24 PM
Rapparee 01 May 18 - 06:32 PM
Donuel 01 May 18 - 02:58 PM
keberoxu 01 May 18 - 02:38 PM
Rapparee 30 Apr 18 - 10:00 PM
Donuel 30 Apr 18 - 03:39 PM
Donuel 30 Apr 18 - 02:26 PM
Rapparee 30 Apr 18 - 02:08 PM
keberoxu 30 Apr 18 - 02:05 PM
Rapparee 29 Apr 18 - 05:17 PM
Stilly River Sage 28 Apr 18 - 10:24 PM
Rapparee 28 Apr 18 - 08:36 PM
Rapparee 27 Apr 18 - 08:54 PM
keberoxu 27 Apr 18 - 12:02 PM
Donuel 26 Apr 18 - 03:31 PM
Rapparee 26 Apr 18 - 09:39 AM
Stilly River Sage 25 Apr 18 - 10:52 PM
Rapparee 25 Apr 18 - 08:51 PM
Stilly River Sage 25 Apr 18 - 04:00 PM
Stilly River Sage 25 Apr 18 - 11:46 AM
Rapparee 24 Apr 18 - 09:29 AM
Donuel 23 Apr 18 - 07:08 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 23 Apr 18 - 12:52 PM
Rapparee 23 Apr 18 - 10:24 AM
Stilly River Sage 22 Apr 18 - 10:54 PM

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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 May 18 - 08:30 PM

Bee-Dub, I thought it was the employees who were hand battered.

From AMOS!!!

IT's not the same place I left a few days ago, but I am home. The dog recognized me. I got through all the hoops in some record short time, I think, but I am burdened with more instructions and gadgets than I would have believed possible. USing the urostomy bag is a major learning experience at first. There are seven kinds of doohicky you can use for night sleeps, hiking, etc. Not to mention the barrage of prescriptions they fired at me as I was leaving the hospital. Sweet Mother of Gawd! Poor Daly has her hands so full trying to just handle message and phone calls and the like, not to mention laundry and (now) giving me injections of some kind of blood thinner.

I have to get to work puzzling the schedule out. But I wanted you to know I have survived surgery and am home in one piece.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 May 18 - 07:02 PM

Hi, Mom!

My wife and I stopped at a Captain D's restaurant for a late lunch/early supper.   All the employees were wearing tee-shirts that said "Hand Battered Since 1969!" Can you imagine that? Some poor schmuck has been battering the same piece of fish for 49 years! Once he gets through battering the thing, he'll probably fry it until 2067.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 May 18 - 10:16 AM

If Amos doesn't post somewhere sometime soon I shall assume that he's been bladder than usual and Mom has again confined him to his room, where he is shelling pees.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 May 18 - 12:08 PM

Acme... "Our bodies may be falling apart but our minds are sharp."

Speak for yourself.

My thoughts are of Amos and I await word with bated breath.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 May 18 - 09:33 AM

While does "infarct" sound like a word not to use in polite society?

"Psst! Joe!!! Zip up!! Your infarct is showing!"

"Come, Scarlett. Let us infarct together."
"You, sir, are a cad! A poltroon! Get off my plantation!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 08 May 18 - 11:03 PM

Our bodies may be falling apart but our minds are sharp.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 May 18 - 09:43 PM

From the Conclusion of my Nukleer Stress Test Report:

"Perfusion imaging is abnormal. There is evidence of prior infarction in the territory of the right coronary artery. The left ventricle is dilated. Left ventribular systolic function is moderately reduced."

So I had a heart attack I didn't know about. It also says my left ventricle is plumb flabby and the pressure it exerts is reduced.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 May 18 - 09:01 PM

Written by Amos, 12 hours ago:

"I am about to leave for the hospital, to deliver my weary bod into the hands of the Boojums and the medicos for a few days. I am particularly intrigued by the prospect of 4-6 hours under anaesthesia while my plumbing gets reconfigured. I would prefer to sit on the ceiling watching every move, but my spiritual powers may not be up to such prowess as an act of will. So I may just slip into darkness and (I would hope) slip back out again into wakefulness at the turn of a valve by some kind anaesthesiologist who (one hopes) is paying close attention."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 08 May 18 - 04:27 PM

Jed Marum's membership posts, when I tested them,
lined up to over five thousand,
so he was busy enough here, in his day. RIP.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 May 18 - 11:32 AM

It may start as an adventure or a sight-seeing trip, but either can quickly and unexpectedly degenerate into something Beyond Chaos.

I remember one time some friends and I started off on an adventure. Wives and sweethearts gathered at the dock to see us off, weeping and waving hankies and small children wondering what was going on. We pushed off, heading for Hannibal, when a violent storm came up. We were tossed about like corks in a blender, lightning striking the water all around us, claps of thunder shaking our frail craft, waves washing over the larboards and ripping the sails from their valance rods. We took in the mizzenhead, backed her, and were breasting a tsunami when a sperm whale stove our good ship in with a fluke slap of a fluke and we were all flung into the raging. white-capped, mountainous, waves. All hands were lost or eaten by ravenous salt-sea sharks save I myself, and I am the only one left to tell the tale.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 May 18 - 04:24 AM

Uncharted adventure? All adventures are uncharted. If they're charted, they aren't adventures. They're just sightseeing trips.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 06 May 18 - 09:32 PM

Darn, I didn't see the note about your performance until it was past.

Just concentrate on getting well.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 May 18 - 09:18 PM

Amos, I shan't suggest you do as I do before a surgery and check You Tube. Yes, the worst could happen and you would have to sit to pee or empty a bag. I have a good friend who does that and he still runs his business and investments quite handily. Being from Thailand, he also plays the khim, which is a sort of hammered dulcimer. He is also a PhD in civil engineering and holds a law degree from Thailand, where he was a cop. Sanji hasn't let it interfere with living and you won't either. If you do, I'll send Sanji to North Carolina to whap you upside the head.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 May 18 - 05:33 PM

IT's moment like that that make certain platitudes ("It's all good." and "You do your thing and I'll do mine" kind of meaningless.

Anyway, howdy-do to Mom and the subs. I am playing a radio gig tonight here in Hillsborough, our local radio station WHUP fm which also does streaming if you Google it. I think out segment starts at 8 EST, under the handle "Agapo".

Monday I spend thw day preparing and shaking in trepidation. Tuesday is surgery. After that it is all uncharted adventure!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 18 - 10:35 PM

"So, Mr. Jones, how are the suppositories I prescribed for your hemorrhoids working?"

"Well Doc, I don't think they're doing much, and they taste terrible."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 May 18 - 12:25 PM

Hi Mom and sibs!

Just in case you may be inclined toward an optimistic view of the intelligence of the average human, always remember this:

Pharmacies are required to print instructions like "Take twice daily by mouth" on pill bottle labels so customers won't stick the pills up their asses instead.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 May 18 - 11:14 AM

I reckon we'll get some frost next week.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 May 18 - 10:48 PM

I doubt that I shall be coming, although I would like to.

The stress test was stressful, and I eventually went to sleep on one or both of the tables that were used. However, as they do not yet know the results of the test I couldn't sleep, so I am back at home and awaiting the results. Nothing so far, so I guess nothing of great import was found.

I am, however, currently radioactive. I was injected with 99mTc, which decays into Pu-239. I was given enough for the decay element to become a critical mass and I expect to either start supplying electricity or exploding any minute now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 03 May 18 - 07:50 PM

MOM is heartbroken today to learn of the passing of Jed Marum. I don't know if he ever actually paid us much attention, but I seem to recall his dropping in a time or two. Someone read the whole thread and let us know (or check Jed's posts, that would probably be faster.)

If there is a celebration of life or funeral and anyone is coming to town to attend, let me know. I have a couple of guest rooms. Well, a guest room and a craft room where I can move stuff off of the bed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 03 May 18 - 07:39 PM

MOM, Rapparee is busy being stressed, I mean being tested, by the physicians.
So I will hoick you back up out of the sub-basement today.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 02 May 18 - 06:06 PM

For fun virtually visit the National Inventors Hall of Fame

click history and see the icons of inventions

http://www.invent.org/


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 02 May 18 - 05:46 PM

tsuris - a magically healing ancient Yiddish word. It gets an express connection to god's ear.

well done


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 May 18 - 04:41 PM

I have to trust anything named da Vinci. It's in my blood or something. Thanks to Rapp for echoing my immortal prose here from there. It's not that I don't care about Mom, it's just I get addlepated and don't realize how long its been since I visited her sacred temple. Imagine! A whole page of Mom posts without my name on it. It's disgraceful, as The Orange One would say. Also, "No collusion!". Don't get me started.

Seriously, I have been on a clinical trial routine of chemotherapy combining cisplatin and gemcitabine (something like that) with a an immune system stimulant designed to make the body's own immune system recognize cancer cells and take them out. Anything to help move science forward, especially when so many are trying to move it backwards. Spare me from idiocy. So now, with the chemo behind me, they want to take the bladder out altogether to ensure no sneaky cancer cells pop back into play. Such tsuris. Surgery is on the 8th instant. Will advise.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 02 May 18 - 02:19 PM

self cloned bladders were the first organs developed by the NIH that people could use anew. I don't know how all the sphincters work.

The robot surgeon is named Leonardo d'Vinci and doesn't get hangovers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 01 May 18 - 07:48 PM

Thanks for asking.
No, keberoxu is not on Facebook.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 May 18 - 07:24 PM

MOM wants to know if Keberoxu is on Facebook. *Asking for a friend.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 May 18 - 06:32 PM

Amos saith, in part, 22 hours before this post:

I have just returned from a loverly weekend in the wilding hills of West Virginia where a clan of song-loving folkies gather to spend the days and evenings swapping songs at a rustic inn called The Brazen Head. A long long drive. But well worth it for the chance to get my fix of people in song. :D

On the 8th of May I will be delving into the unknown as the amazing technology of modern medicine again converges on my mortal shell to tweak and remodel it. This time it will be a robotic surgeon with six arms which will be moving in through six very small incisions to remove my trusty bladder and some auxiliary bits including the seminal vesicles and prostate gland, so that when I awake I will have to re-learn the rare art of urination all anew, but this time en plastique. As far as I can recall I was an average student of micturition in my first training on the course back in the 1940's, and improved steadily to the point where I could write my name in the snow. I am not sure how well that will work with this new system, but the nurse who was trying to coach me on what to expect reassured me cheerfully that I would still be able to point the stream. Preserve the small pleasures, that's what I say.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 01 May 18 - 02:58 PM

I'm glad you didn't hack of the top of the storm picture to fit in an 8ft. ceiling room. Umbrellas do cheer it up.

I knew the guy who planned the job in Boston. (Al Munday)
Double crossing the Russians was easier than I thought.
Small world you were the high bidder/ That was ~ 10 years before Mudcat


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 01 May 18 - 02:38 PM

Up we go, Mom.
Rapparee is accounted for,
and gnu has let us know he is lurking.

Now we need Amos to check in.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 18 - 10:00 PM

Ralphy's and Mikey's painting, especially that ceiling, are going to be given to the Society for the Preservation and Continuation of Absurd and Silly Uses of Paint (SPCASUP). That one part, of Adam getting the finger from Big Daddy, has been painted over. But you mentioned the storm one in particular -- you'll be pleased to know that trench coats, rubber boots, and umbrellas were painted onto is a few years ago so that children wouldn't worry that the subjects were going to catch cold.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 30 Apr 18 - 03:39 PM

To be on the safe side Rap, have you made arrangements for the lost portrait of Raphael and Rembrandts Christ in a Storm?

If not just post here that you will them to my safe hands.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 30 Apr 18 - 02:26 PM

nitro for low blood pressure and caffeine for high is a hard way to maintain a medium BP


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 18 - 02:08 PM

Oh, Mom!!! Mere minutes from oblivion! Yes, oblivion. O-B-L-I-V-I-O-N. Here, let me save you from that. That's nice, now give me the other bottle. And the one you have hidden. There now! You've avoided the oblivion and false haven the alcohol provides! Here's a nice, huge, espresso. Drink it all down, now. GOOOOOD GIRL!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 30 Apr 18 - 02:05 PM

Here comes Kalenda Maya ...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 18 - 05:17 PM

Oh, I'm okay now. It was touch-and-go for a few hours, me hovering just outside Death's Door with one foot inside, the hearse waiting outside with the black plumed horses, but all the tests and EKGs came back normal so I decided to go home instead. It shows what an indomitable will can do!

NB: Don't fool around with the non-medical, oily, nitroglycerine. It is not something for make at home or even in your high school's chemistry lab. Trust me on this.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 28 Apr 18 - 10:24 PM

What were you and MOM doing that set you off? And I hope Pat made sure the car shock absorbers were in good shape for the drive home. I remember an episode of Death Valley Days or maybe Rawhide when they had to transport nitro glycerin. It was a real nail-biter.

Stay healthy, Mike. Get well soon!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Apr 18 - 08:36 PM

Fun! I spent the afternoon in the ER. Chest pains (mine). All tests and EKGs negative, but they are going to tell my regular doctor on me. I am also supposed to get a stress test.

No problems, but they gave me nitroglycerin four times and now when I spit the spitoon explodes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Apr 18 - 08:54 PM

Mom gave up giving any other thread a run for its money about 40,000 posts back. I distinctly remember her saying, "Screw it. Life's too short. I ain't racin' anybody. I'll whomp their (posterior parts) just by ambling along."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 27 Apr 18 - 12:02 PM

Well, Mom, better mosey back up from the basement here.
After all, the Mudcat Tavern is prepping for Kalenda Maya
and you have to give it a run for its money.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 26 Apr 18 - 03:31 PM

Window blinds that have one blind rise and take a peek exposing menacing eyes at various intervals is as effective as the sound of a shot gun being cocked from the signal of a motion detector on the porch.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Apr 18 - 09:39 AM

Bricks. Handy for breaking windows. Saves a B&E artist time and the effort of finding a big rock.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 25 Apr 18 - 10:52 PM

My porch is fine, and there is a stack of bricks to conceal things left on the porch (if the delivery person has the sense to conceal the parcel).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Apr 18 - 08:51 PM

They are not delivering inside my house or in my car.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 25 Apr 18 - 04:00 PM

Hey, MOM! Amazon delivers. It would be easier on the dogs if they didn't deliver directly into the house.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 25 Apr 18 - 11:46 AM

There's a place (chain) called Five Guys that has pretty good burgers - the standard size is difficult to fit into a normal human mouth. There are some local one-off hamburger joints that I prefer if I haven't had my monthly supply of beef fat. One in particular has wonderful fried onion rings on the side.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Apr 18 - 09:29 AM

Nothing Burgers. What a great name for a new franchise! You order a nothing burger and you get a bun with special sauce, cheese, pickles, lettuce, mustard, catsup, and onion. Your burger is nothing.

BTW, today is Max's birthday. Go above the line and wish him well.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 23 Apr 18 - 07:08 PM

I've never heard the quarking of the duckdog but I have eaten plenty of quarks in my day. My favorite flavor is lucky charm. Neutrinos also come in different flavors. Technicolor bosons taste just like a nothing burger.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Apr 18 - 12:52 PM

Ol' Sam would've fit right in on the MOAB. We're all a bunch of cock-a-doodle-doodle-doodlists.

Except Gluon. Hyperspatial duckdogs don't do cock-a-doodle-doodle-doo. They do

QUARK!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Apr 18 - 10:24 AM

Others are better. I have the others I've done: Steamboats and the Opening of the American West, Printing and the Reformation, the Second Korean War, and this one, Samuel Clemens: More Than Mark Twain.

I do not have degrees in History. I do not have a PhD; my MS is in Library and Information Science. There are too many people out there spewing "information." I don't want to join them. Besides, would you know what I meant if I called someone "k?okkinomallistic"? Clemens was a ?kokkinomallist and never once denied it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 22 Apr 18 - 10:54 PM

Mike, you need to turn that talk into a YouTube video and put it out there for posterity. School children will discover it when they have to do reports on Mark Twain.

The monotone microwave beep bird may just be imitating an appliance.
I have heard the local mockingbirds mimic car alarms. Seriously. They used to go off so frequently that the birds picked up the "call." Not so much lately because 1) car alarms work better and 2) more neighbors park their cars inside garages.


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