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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

keberoxu 09 Sep 18 - 06:13 PM
Donuel 09 Sep 18 - 10:53 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Sep 18 - 08:19 PM
Donuel 08 Sep 18 - 08:34 AM
Rapparee 07 Sep 18 - 10:41 PM
Rapparee 07 Sep 18 - 10:28 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 07 Sep 18 - 08:45 PM
gnu 07 Sep 18 - 01:59 PM
Rapparee 06 Sep 18 - 10:17 PM
Stilly River Sage 06 Sep 18 - 10:08 PM
Donuel 06 Sep 18 - 07:32 PM
Little Hawk 06 Sep 18 - 05:37 PM
Donuel 06 Sep 18 - 03:41 PM
Donuel 05 Sep 18 - 06:05 PM
gnu 05 Sep 18 - 01:37 PM
gnu 05 Sep 18 - 01:17 PM
Little Hawk 04 Sep 18 - 04:04 PM
Rapparee 04 Sep 18 - 03:48 PM
Rapparee 03 Sep 18 - 09:06 PM
Little Hawk 03 Sep 18 - 08:37 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Sep 18 - 08:20 PM
Little Hawk 03 Sep 18 - 07:28 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Sep 18 - 06:31 PM
gnu 03 Sep 18 - 05:52 PM
gnu 03 Sep 18 - 05:28 PM
gnu 03 Sep 18 - 05:21 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Sep 18 - 04:03 PM
Little Hawk 03 Sep 18 - 01:22 PM
Rapparee 02 Sep 18 - 09:01 PM
Little Hawk 01 Sep 18 - 02:19 PM
Stilly River Sage 01 Sep 18 - 02:05 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 31 Aug 18 - 11:46 PM
Little Hawk 31 Aug 18 - 10:59 PM
Donuel 31 Aug 18 - 10:07 PM
Rapparee 31 Aug 18 - 10:00 PM
gnu 31 Aug 18 - 09:56 PM
Little Hawk 31 Aug 18 - 11:13 AM
Rapparee 30 Aug 18 - 09:59 PM
Little Hawk 30 Aug 18 - 03:10 PM
Little Hawk 30 Aug 18 - 11:12 AM
Rapparee 29 Aug 18 - 09:02 PM
Rapparee 28 Aug 18 - 09:42 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 28 Aug 18 - 09:14 PM
Little Hawk 28 Aug 18 - 08:47 PM
Donuel 28 Aug 18 - 05:58 PM
Donuel 28 Aug 18 - 05:39 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 28 Aug 18 - 01:41 PM
Amos 28 Aug 18 - 12:22 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 27 Aug 18 - 11:40 PM
Rapparee 27 Aug 18 - 10:04 PM

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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 09 Sep 18 - 06:13 PM

But Rapparee,
what about the infarct in a part of your heart?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 09 Sep 18 - 10:53 AM

I am Gru


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Sep 18 - 08:19 PM

The USAF's MOAB is a bomb, but our MOAB is da bomb.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 08 Sep 18 - 08:34 AM

And now something completely different

I suspect elephants not aliens.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Sep 18 - 10:41 PM

Well, it has been a fun couple of days.

Back in '62 or so my brother and I were plagued with chronic infections of our individual big toes -- mine left, his right. Eventually our respective toenails were removed, and that solved it.

However, the doctor left a tiny bit of something so that a nail of sorts would grow and protect the nailbed. The night before last my "nail" tore loose and was hanging by about hang of what should be there. Ouch, ouch, ouchy!

Today the podiatrist cut it off. The nail thingy, not my left great toe. Now the ouchy is different, and don't step on or otherwise annoy my toe if you wish not to become vitality-challenged.

Apparently this isn't too unusual because the doctor had a pre-made handout about toenail removal.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Sep 18 - 10:28 PM

Yes, there's a Moab, Utah. Nice place, good brewpub. There's also
a MOAB.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 Sep 18 - 08:45 PM

Yes, there is a city in Utah called Moab. There was also an ancient kingdom in part of what is now Jordan called Moab. In fact, given that there are billions of galaxies in the universe, each consisting of billions of stars, there is probably an entire planet somewhere called Moab. Just don't ask me exactly where it is.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Sep 18 - 01:59 PM

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moab,_Utah


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Sep 18 - 10:17 PM

If I lost 30 pounds I'd disappear entirely. And I was talking about the size of American bottles, REAL beer bottles. Bottles like Coors Light and Budweiser comes in. Never touch either of them, mind you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 06 Sep 18 - 10:08 PM

I'm almost off of the Prednisone, so should be able to start losing weight finally. Aiming at losing about 30 pounds.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 06 Sep 18 - 07:32 PM

double take


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Sep 18 - 05:37 PM

Rabbits prefer using hops.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 06 Sep 18 - 03:41 PM

A bottle of beer that uses cannabis flowers rather than its cousin hops, is longer lasting and more refreshing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 05 Sep 18 - 06:05 PM

I hope that is not a carcinoma caused weight loss. I'm in the dark here. I thought the slice and dice was for comfort reasons.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Sep 18 - 01:37 PM

BTW. Not that anyone cares, but, I tipped, today, the scales at 120# lighter than I was on 2005.06.13... the day of the infamous Slice & Dice of my right parotid gland.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Sep 18 - 01:17 PM

"... 403,170 bottles of of beer of 355 milliliters each..."

No, cans are 355ml each. Bottles are 343ml each. You get a 10p return on bottles and a 5p return on cans. I don't care which costs less as I prefer the convenience of cans.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Sep 18 - 04:04 PM

My, that was sensitive! And so tastefully done.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Sep 18 - 03:48 PM

Poor Mom! Abandoned and alone! Mother, Dear Mother!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Sep 18 - 09:06 PM

To put it another way, it works out to 403,170 bottles of of beer of 355 milliliters each, or 143,125,350 milliliters. The average swimming pool that is 25 meters x 10 meters x (and average depth of) 1.5 meter holds 375,000,000 milliliters, so you couldn't by enough beer to fill a swimming pool. BUT a railroad tank car is limited by law to 130,597,000 milliliters, so you could buy 1.1 tank cars of beer. Mind you, the Idaho Legion goes through that much in a weekend.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Sep 18 - 08:37 PM

Perfect.

That would keep Shane going for, well, a couple of years, anyway.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Sep 18 - 08:20 PM

750,000 Euros will buy 67,175 six-packs of Molson pale lager, with enough left over for a tin of breath mints.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Sep 18 - 07:28 PM

Well, actually, Shane doesn't know how many six-packs of Molson's 750,000 Euros will buy...but he does know it's "a flippin' SHITLOAD worth!!!" And if he did have the money he'd be waiting outside the beer store at opening time, that is for sure. He'd probably try to buy their entire stock and get it delivered to his and Don's doorstep!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Sep 18 - 06:31 PM

Hi, Mom!

My wife got a phone call advising her that her Windows license is about to expire and that it is very important that she call a certain phone number immediately! I'm a bit curious as to how Windows got on her Apple iPad. Also a bit curious about what the person on the other end of that phone number would buy with the credit card info my wife would be asked to provide to renew her non-existent Windows license. Probably a snowmobile. Winter's just around the corner in Moscow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 03 Sep 18 - 05:52 PM

Facebook was down... now it's back up. I tried to "undo' the emails in a second mailing but the damn thing won't work when I try to delete names from a list.

Can't win!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 03 Sep 18 - 05:28 PM

Is Facebook down?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 03 Sep 18 - 05:21 PM

Congratulations SRS!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Sep 18 - 04:03 PM

Boy, that Jelliel Wintherbottom III must be a dumbass of truly heroic proportions! Who in their right mind would entrust Shane McBride with any amount of money, much less 750,000 Euros? Does Mr. Wintherbottom III know how many six-packs of Molson's that will buy? Shane does!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Sep 18 - 01:22 PM

Yeah, right! Shane can't even come up with $7.50 Canadian in used bills and change.

So sod off, Jellelielle Witherbottom or whatever the hell your name is.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Sep 18 - 09:01 PM

My dear Little Hawk,

There are Certain Photographs that have come into my possession of a Ms Rutledge and a hamster named Corridus. These photographs are, shall we say, of a rather shocking nature. Indeed, they might upend the Rutledge family entirely by demonstrating just what "goes on" in such Ancient Families. I am certain you would not desire that the name of the Rutledge family and that of Ms Rutledge in particular be dragged through the open sewers of public discussion. Therefore, if you will have Mr. Shame McBride deliver €750,000 in small denomination, used, banknotes to a location to be named upon your agreement, we shall deliver the photographs and the negatives to your abode.

Sincerely yours,
Jelliel Wintherbottom III


--LH: I do not know why I received this nor where it came from. It showed up in my mailbox yesterday and I pass a true and exact copy on to you as you are obviously the intended recipient.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Sep 18 - 02:19 PM

Well, that sounds like an improvement.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 Sep 18 - 02:05 PM

Hey, MOM! I'm retired. I picked up my tea mug and phone charger and walked away from a job that had become pretty darned awful (though most of the people were very nice). Now I need to do something else to make a living, but with less stress, I'll have the health to actually do another job.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Aug 18 - 11:46 PM

Osibili, si ergo.
Fortibusis en ero.
Nobili, demis trux.
Si wats enim, kowz indux.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Aug 18 - 10:59 PM

Et moneo ut semper Abstinentia intrant in vitam, ita ipsum eripere e sub peccato. Sed pariter animi necessaria cessatione fabulas de iniusta tibi Chongo, Lucius pia Penelope lustris Rutledge et Corridus.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 31 Aug 18 - 10:07 PM

Rap as the tale is retold over the years it may be called the great Jake fire. It is a classic VFW tale if I ever heard one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Aug 18 - 10:00 PM

Ita, quod est verum. Propterea ortor te ad vitam contemplativam tendatur, ita orationis et poenitentiae, forsitan aget anno uno mundo procul ac perturbationibus suis et supra, de columna in desertum.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 Aug 18 - 09:56 PM

Oh... knock that shit off eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Aug 18 - 11:13 AM

Stultus omnia inutilis ratiocinari quid cui non loquitur. Tales homines relinquendus. Et digna tamen nihil minatur.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Aug 18 - 09:59 PM

Heavens! Penelope Rutledge and Corridus broke up yesterday! She took her Silver Cloud and went home, Corridus just ran around in his wheel. Hector Worthballsy, the local reporter for the London Morning Whitesheet (know as the London Morning Wipesheet, of course) broke the story. As we all know, when Bad Penny took up with Corridus her family disinherited her -- shall they take her back into their circle? And does she, as they say around there, "have a muffin in the oven"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Aug 18 - 03:10 PM

But fear not! After a brief time set aside for recovery from reading Rap's last 2 posts, I shall return to regale you all with further brilliant commentary and incisive criticism.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Aug 18 - 11:12 AM

I am just shaking my head here. Words fail me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Aug 18 - 09:02 PM

It happened that last night a wildfire came into town (without even knocking!) and threatened the Legion Hovel. First the place filled with smoke but since it's always filled with smoke (bad flue, bad kitchen practices) nobody noticed. When the bottles behind the bar started to explode people DID notice. Fats Slim was so impressed that he ordered "a pitcher of whatever's in them there bottles". The door suddenly flew open and Jake ran in yelling, "Fire! It's all around us!" and some of the boys and girls ran for marshmallows. Most, however, glanced out the door and windows and saw the flames. They immediately sprang into action, throwing their drinks on the fire and that, of course, only caused more fire. Then the fire extinguishers were used to no avail. Finally someone remembered the old cistern under the building and they started dropping hoses down the access hatch and hooking them up to hand pumps. The nozzles were played over the base of the flames and they roared higher that ever! It seems like back during what is called "The Terrible Awful Time" in the Legion and Prohibition by everyone else the 12,500 gallon underground tank had be filled with high proof "stuff" and it was feeding the fire rather than quelling it! The Hovel was in danger, as the sprinkler system is fed from the cistern! But the Luck of the Legion held, as the liquor being sprayed created a zone of no fuel and the fire burned itself out with only very minor damage to the Hovel and its grounds.

The same cannot be said of the Legionnaires, most of whom were found sucking up the runoff in the gutters with straws. As a side note, the Legion Hovel is doing away with plastic straws on September 1 -- not only will the supply be exhausted by then, but also they will be replaced with what has been called by the Council of Elders and Suchlike "a nice surprise." Speculation is rampant.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Aug 18 - 09:42 PM

Yes, most sanctuaries fatten them up for political banquets. Chongx should do something about that, but it won't happen. Old Man Pliny best described Chongx when he said of him, "Disputatio nihil nisi vana" and "Nusquam mentionem memoriamque omnem actionem." Old Man Pliny, if you don't know, was the organ grinder Chongx worked for when first arrived in the US. C. embezzled all the poor old man's money AND stole the music box so s/he could enslave a rhesus monkey to abase himself for C.'s enrichment. Old Man Pliny and his wife developed consumption because they had to move into a drafty tenement after the theft and their bodies were found, malnourished and frozen, one freezing day. A note left by Old Man Pliny read, "Ci fidavamo di Chongx, nutrivamo il piccolo mascalzone e lo rimettevamo in salute dopo che si era intrufolato sulla nave. Questo è il modo in cui siamo ripagati!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Aug 18 - 09:14 PM

More Chimps are now in sanctuaries than research labs.

And the number of chimps in sanctuaries pales in comparison with the number in bars, bordellos, and bookie joints.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Aug 18 - 08:47 PM

Yes! Chongo's efforts to end specism in America are bearing fruit, you might say. It's quite encouraging. Still, the forces marshaled against him cannot be taken lightly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 28 Aug 18 - 05:58 PM

LH thought you'd like to know we have reached a tipping point in the US. More Chimps are now in sanctuaries than research labs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 28 Aug 18 - 05:39 PM

Spoken english is far more abbreviated and contracted than we realize. We just don't choose to hear it. I hear it. 'imga' means "I am going to..."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Aug 18 - 01:41 PM

Non a circuitu hic, agis?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Aug 18 - 12:22 PM

And being from "around here" is the South's summum bonum and sine qua non to boot.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Aug 18 - 11:40 PM

Over the last 50 years or so, "you guys" has gradually worked its way into the southern vernacular. It's as common as "y'all" in many areas. But "youse" or "youse guys" still elicits the dreaded "Ya ain't from around here, are ya?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Aug 18 - 10:04 PM

57775.

What you mean, "no youse"? I grew up using "youse" and "y'all" and "dis" and "dat" and "dem" and "dese" and "doze". We'd say something like, "Hey, youse guys! Don't go throwin' dem apples at Miz Hogue's house! Y'all'll git yer tails kicked up tween yer shoulder blades!"


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