BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 07 - 06:29 PM

Duct tape is NOT a "standby." Duct tape is actually that which holds the Universe together -- when physicists finally DO solve the problem of GUT they will find...duct tape.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jun 07 - 10:29 AM

Sheet plastic, comes in wide rolls, and often used to create air dams in houses where some demolition is being done, or other sorts of projects where you want to divide space or baffle air. In the world of people who do these things it is as much a standby as duct tape.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 16 Jun 07 - 10:17 AM

The doorway will be hung with clear visqueen to keep the kids out.

I'll bet you the quarter that Bill D is putting up about Paris Hilton getting out of jail early that the kids will get in (early or whatever--that they WILL get in).

What is Visqueen, anyway?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 07 - 09:58 AM

WE have a great under-stairway spot where we've put a door and electricity just this past week. We plan to put a blue-gelled spot above the door, angled downward, onto broken down cot, etc. The walls will be black cloth, and the back half of the closet (for such it actually will be) will be very dark gray scrim. Behind the scrim will be a picture of James and Lilly Potter on one side and Moldyfart (as my nephew once called him) on the other. J&L will be front-lit by a gold-gelled spot, and Ol' Moldy by a green one. A dimmer board will control the lights; J&L will come on slowly and then Moldy's will flash and die away. At that point the whole thing goes dark.

The doorway will be hung with clear visqueen to keep the kids out.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 16 Jun 07 - 12:12 AM

We have a great under-stairway spot where we could insert a temporary door and diorama. Hmmm. . .

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 11:09 PM

Actually, we are just one cog in the festivities. The bookstore and the mall are whooping it up, the District Library "across the street" has Big Plans, and even the University Library is involved.

I'm just a Library Director, so I don't know what's going on. Sometimes I honestly don't WANT to know, either.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 02:01 PM

My home town is doing it up *big*.

Town hall will become the Ministry of Magic, the Chief Selectman witll be Minister of Magic; various stores downtown are being converted to Hogmeade stores, platform 9 and 3/4 and the Hogwarts Exporess will be on hand,(They just happen to have a railroad station and Excursion train handy) etc, etc.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 01:41 PM

On July 16, or maybe July 21 (I'd the Library Director so nobody tells me nothin') we will magically transport Harry Potter's bedroom-under-the-stairs to the Library. Well, actually it will be a view of it through time and space since he has had his own room for a bit now. We will also have Moldy Voldy and James & Lilly Potter appear*.

To do this will cost many galleons (gallons of galleons?) but will be worth it.


























An empty space, a little theatrical scrim, some judicious lighting....

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 01:26 PM

"Librarians can do anything".



Yes, but only in the confines of the library, and only until the local branch of the D.A.R. finds out about it.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 10:28 AM

Hmmm. We tend to (and mind you, I'm not being critical here) keep our electricity in our wiring. And let it dribble out a little at a time by flipping the toggle called a "switch." None of this hoarding it under the stairs business.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 09:40 AM

Harry will be pleased about the electricty under the stair

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 09:35 AM

"Librarians can do anything,"


We knew THAT.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 09:00 AM

By the way, we now have electricity under the stairs. It was put in yesterday.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 08:59 AM

Did you ever replace the chicken wire that was all over your house? (Amos had put it up to ground the Signals which They were beaming into his house to Confuse him so he wouldn't notice the Men In Black in the Black Helicopters landing his back yard. This is all very understandable if you live in Southern California.)

The 2 x 4, by the way, is to replace the "foot" of some shelving we're moving elsewhere in the building. It's old, old shelving and you can't buy parts for it anymore, so we have to fabricate our own. Librarians can do anything, especially the way the budgets are.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 08:57 AM

move some tonnage of dirt before the landscapers arrive

Isn't that sorta like cleaning the house before the cleaning service arrives?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 08:50 AM

Nopthing nicer than a sliding door that really slides. We lived with a cranky one for years, constantly having to re-seat it on its track. Now we have a nice new doublepand, u-v filtering viny-clad replacement -- it is a delight.

Mom, I finished the whole job on the caulking and trim painting, at last.

Now I take down the ancient fence and move some tonnage of dirt before the landscapers arrive.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 02:30 AM

It's nice to be able to open the door so easily when I have to step outside with the million candle-power flashlight to see what the pit bull has found up a tree. Not sure this time, but I expect we'll find something in the yard in the morning. She's going full tilt back there tonight, to the point that she whalloped the blue heeler for getting in her way. Both are fine, but I follow the loud dog conversation as they conduct it. Lots of wags and apologies when I walk out with the light, but message taken: "Stay away from me and my possum while I'm hunting it!"

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 01:36 AM

Hey, Mom! I fixed my back door (sliding glass type) this morning. Darn think wouldn't move on the track to save a life. It has been tough to open for ages. I finally took it down, put on new hardware, and it runs as smooth as can be! Now I can open it regularly (with the lightest touch!) to wave out the flies that came in this morning while it was out in the yard.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 12:30 AM

Way up in Pocatello,
They do things oddly, very;
They sent out for a two by four,
For the City Main Library.
They don't say what they want it for,
Or how they want to use it;
The city fathers are afraid
Rapaire wants to abuse it.
Or maybe he has kinky help
Who'll sleep with it all winter,
And you can tell -- they'll be the ones
Complaining about splinters.
Or maybe its for splitting heads
Who irk the Chief Librarian
They say that in a past life, he
Was a wild disciplinarian.
But still, the mystery stands obscure,
And folks are all resigning
To never know the reason dark
Behind Rapaire's strange pining.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jun 07 - 06:28 PM

And tonight...tonight...after work...I have to go out and buy something more for work! Something we need to complete a project. Something you might find disturbing. Something that will alter, perhaps forever, your image of a public library. Yes, after work I'm going out to buy...a 2 x 4. (And a couple packages of shims.)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jun 07 - 05:07 PM

Faded pressure,
Faded pressure,
Oh, how tough that pressure seemed to me.
Faded pressure,
Faded pressure
Now I know it was just
Egocentric, manipulative, PR-driven, solipsistic fantasy.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 14 Jun 07 - 03:13 PM

make sure you dry it flat, out of sunlight. you wouldn't want it to stretch or fade.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jun 07 - 03:12 PM

I also just bought a pressure washer. The pressure here has been getting pretty intense lately and I figure washing it will set it right.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jun 07 - 01:54 PM

Or, as here, the Dither of Madness' Velleities. In any case, I have reconsidered; if you are going to be carried around by six sturdy indentured Nubians, you probably want an emiossions test, especially if they take lunch breaks at Jack-in-the-Box, assuming there is any jack in the box after such profligate disbursements...


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 14 Jun 07 - 01:29 PM

Department of MOM's Vehicles.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jun 07 - 12:16 PM

Department of Masculine Vehicles.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jun 07 - 12:09 PM

Well, it's a sedan chair, not a motor vehicle. And only motor vehicles can be sent to get an emissions test, at least by the DMV. That's why it is the DMV. I suppose cautious fiancees might want to require one, but that's an individual choice.




A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jun 07 - 09:05 AM

That's littering, Amos. No, I just tie 'em to a stick: a long stick to go fast and a short one to go slow. Remove the twinkie-on-a-stick for braking and hold it behind for reverse.

And here's a tip: cabbage and bean burritos provide that little extra "oompf" you sometimes need for passing, but you might fail an emissions test.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jun 07 - 03:38 AM

Twinkies. Throw them far for rapid acceleration, or closer in for more gradual acceleration, or behind you for braking.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 10:09 PM

Or the accelerator. The throttle isn't hard to design, though.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 08:15 PM

Sounds to me like it has a shanks' mare transmission.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 11:43 AM

That's all true, and my secret is out. I won't, however, disturb you with a technical discussion of how the transmission works.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 11:21 AM

Well, it's amazing what you can hide in a budget if you know how to pull the strings. A little investigation has revealed that is no ordinary sedan chair -- not for our Rapaire, no sirreee. Turns out, under "Office Supplies and Equipment", he managed to finance a Hummer SUV chair!! Its kinda like a sedan chair only wider, twice as many carriers, and they wear baseball cleats. Lots of chrome and leather, built in map system and iPod, all the bells.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 11:09 AM

I've heard he also likes to be carried around the stacks in one of those sedan chairs.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 10:54 AM

He hides them under incidentals in the budget, but the truth is that the motive power for those fans that cool the Library is supplied by indentured Nubians, some of them as tall as the stacks behind which they are hidden.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 10:26 AM

Ceiling fans with remotes? I thought libraries up there had those big ostrich feather fan things and your lowest paid staff have to waft them around the room to keep air moving?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 09:20 AM

Well, he wanted to shred all the budget documents, but I needed them so he went through about 50 sheets of blank paper instead.

He's also intrigued by the ceiling fans. He'll grab a remote and play with them for literally minutes at a time.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 12:25 AM

Then you could have grown up to be David Letterman.

Let's hope this goes through this time. . .

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 11:51 PM

Man, I wish someone had given me a shredder to run when I was two....


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 04:20 PM

Could be...he also ate my french fries.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 04:16 PM

Seems like Donavan may have been haning out with the Legion boys too much - since he posted a four letter word.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 04:15 PM

If there was no exclamation point, no scream, and no blood, I guess it's okay.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 04:11 PM

This Donovan was two years old and helping to run my shredder.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 04:01 PM

a word or so from Donavan

I love my shirt.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 03:58 PM

Well, while some of the staff went out to buy a present for a Board member who is leaving, we rearranged the office. And now, a word or so from Donovan:


fcxs

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 03:54 PM

You obviously spend the weekend far differently then I do!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 03:52 PM

By Tuesday mid-day the shock of re-entry, the forlorn sense of deprivation and loss as one awakes to the cold reality that the weekend is gone and was spent in endless pursuit of others' goals, has begun to fade and the hope of making some distinct, if small, difference in the world again asserts its weaselly nose under the tent flap.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 03:31 PM

Why, MMario. . . that's. . . that's. . . Fantastic!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 11:34 AM

Try to remember that weed you dismembered
when Round up wouldn't turn it yellow
Try to remember, at least till September
That you are a kind, and gentle, fellow.
Try to remeber
for you *should* remember
The mallow
mallow
mallow
mallow
mallow
mallow!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 11:28 AM

Aw, shucks. Globe mallow is a favorite of mine. And marsh mallow.