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BS: The Mother of all BS threads
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 02 Jan 10 - 10:43 AM Rapaire: Pffbbbbbt. Hark!! The sound of the raspberry is heard in the land... A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: GUEST,Rapaire Date: 02 Jan 10 - 10:34 AM Amos, if you're going to quote one of the most moving poems of WW1, please quote it all. It's worth it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 02 Jan 10 - 12:14 AM … If in some smothering dreams you too could pace Behind the wagon that we flung him in, And watch the white eyes writhing in his face, His hanging face, like a devil's sick of sin; If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs, Obscene as cancer, bitter as the cud Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues, My friend, you would not tell with such high zest To children ardent for some desperate glory, The old Lie; Dulce et Decorum est Pro patria mori. --Wilfred Owen |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Stilly River Sage Date: 02 Jan 10 - 12:13 AM Has anyone asked him what he's driving these days? Is he into vintage cars? Maybe a Gremlin? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 01 Jan 10 - 11:09 PM I have lost several, but I am assuming it is because LH started the daemon loose among the halls of Mom.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Stilly River Sage Date: 01 Jan 10 - 11:04 PM I seem to have joined LH in the lost post club. I know I put one up a little while ago. Darn. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 01 Jan 10 - 06:35 PM How nice, Amos. That's always been one of my favorite poems. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 01 Jan 10 - 06:12 PM e.e. cumming's response to Rapaire: i sing of Olaf glad and big whose warmest heart recoiled at war: a conscientious object-or his wellbelovéd colonel (trig westpointer most succinctly bred) took erring Olaf soon in hand; but-though an host of overjoyed noncoms (first knocking on the head him) do through icy waters roll that helplessness which others stroke with brushes recently employed anent this muddy toiletbowl, while kindred intellects evoke allegiance per blunt instruments- Olaf (being to all intents a corpse and wanting any rag upon what God unto him gave) responds, without getting annoyed "I will not kiss your fucking flag" straightaway the silver bird looked grave (departing hurriedly to shave) but-though all kinds of officers (a yearning nation's blueeyed pride) their passive prey did kick and curse until for wear their clarion voices and boots were much the worse, and egged the firstclassprivates on his rectum wickedly to tease by means of skillfully applied bayonets roasted hot with heat- Olaf (upon what were once knees) does almost ceaselessly repeat "there is some shit I will not eat" our president,being of which assertions duly notified threw the yellowsonofabitch into a dungeon,where he died Christ (of His mercy infinite) i pray to see;and Olaf,too preponderatingly because unless statistics lie he was more brave than me:more blond than you |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 01 Jan 10 - 05:55 PM A couple of English (well, UK) views on death: Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow Creeps in this petty pace from day to day To the last syllable of recorded time And all our yesterdays the way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player Who struts and frets his time upon the stage And then is heard no more. 'Tis but a tale told by an idiot, Full of sound and fury Signifying nothing. -- Billy-Bob Shakespeare "The Scottish Play" The Soldier Rupert Brooke If I should die, think only this of me; That there's some corner of a foreign field That is for ever England. There shall be In that rich earth a richer dust concealed; A dust whom England bore, shaped, made aware, Gave, once, her flowers to love, her ways to roam, A body of England's breathing English air, Washed by the rivers, blest by suns of home. And think, this heart, all evil shed away, A pulse in the eternal mind, no less Gives somewhere back the thoughts by England given; Her sights and sounds; dreams happy as her day; And laughter, learnt of friends; and gentleness, In hearts at peace, under an English heaven. Now, for your homework, compare and contrast these two passages with William Cullen Bryant's Thanatopsis, being certain to remark upon the differences between the American and UKer views on Death. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 01 Jan 10 - 03:03 PM Hey, Shame! Sorry you're not dead...you certainly smell like it. You ever get that cesspool smell out of your skin? No, I guess not. Not that it matters, since no one in all of Ontario can come within a hundred meters of you without gagging and tossing their lunch. I've heard that the last time your mom kissed you she ended up in hospital with food poisoning: is that true, or was it just disgust? I've also heard that the first time she saw you she said, "What is that???", took you by one toe and exclaimed, "A baby? I've never seen anything so ugly in all my born days! Can it be mercy-killed?" |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 01 Jan 10 - 02:27 PM A couple of perspectives on dying, as viewed by the living: W. H. Auden Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone, Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone, Silence the pianos and with muffled drum Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come. Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead, Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves, Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves. He was my North, my South, my East and West, My working week and my Sunday rest, My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song; I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong. The stars are not wanted now: put out every one; Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun; Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood. For nothing now can ever come to any good. This last one is nearly the opposite. Death is Nothing at All Death is nothing at all. I have only slipped away to the next room. I am I and you are you. Whatever we were to each other, That, we still are. Call me by my old familiar name. Speak to me in the easy way which you always used. Put no difference into your tone. Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me. Pray for me. Let my name be ever the household word that it always was. Let it be spoken without effect. Without the trace of a shadow on it. Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same that it ever was. There is absolute unbroken continuity. Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am but waiting for you. For an interval. Somewhere. Very near. Just around the corner. All is well. (Canon of St. Pauls Cathedral) (1847 - 1918) Henry Scott Holland |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River Date: 01 Jan 10 - 02:07 PM Hey Rapaire? I ain't dead neighther...so FLIP YOU! I will never die, man. I have been voated "indaspnesable" by the female popyualition of North Flippin' On tario...so I can not die, eh? - Shane p.s. Happy Flippin' New Year, flipface! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge Date: 01 Jan 10 - 01:20 PM Rumours of my demise have been greatly exaggerated, Rapaire, so do not distress yourself unnecessarily. I simply have much better things to do most of the time than visit this little digital backwater known as Mudcat Cafe. Be that as it may, I wish you all a prosperous and eventful year in 2010. I may even see fit to send Tweed a card, as he hasn't been completely horrible of late. I think he may be capable of redemption. * PR |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 01 Jan 10 - 01:05 PM Plus ca change, plus c'est le meme narcissiste. Auguste Rodin |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 01 Jan 10 - 11:20 AM We weep for those who are no longer with us: freds, Khandu, Tweed, Shame McBride, George W. Bush, Bath House Grogan, Hinky-Dink McKenna, Rod Blagoabi...Blagoy...thehellwithit...The Remarkable Tushy...Knute Rockne...Penelope Rutledge...Froggy...Buster Brown...Cutter John...Lash La Rue...Joaquin Muiretta...Boone Helm...Dick Cheney...Porter Rockwell...and all the rest who made the last decade what it was. And we look forward to better time with...ah, um, well...there's me. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 01 Jan 10 - 11:04 AM Well, today begins the Great Year of 2010, the first year of the second decade. It is really impressive we have survived so long and so far and done so much, no? Mom has gathered unto her bosom some 33, 460 posts since her humble beginnings back in May of 2003, almost seven years ago. Wow! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 31 Dec 09 - 10:41 PM Wow, sounds like the New Year thing is already out of hand in Pocatello!! Bubbles up to you, buddy! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 31 Dec 09 - 09:48 PM I don't THINK SO!! Between the manatees, the Dutch, and Lichtenstein...good lard and butter, Amos! Are you unaware of the forthcoming...2032...unholy alliances...forced to wear kilts and wooden shoes.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 31 Dec 09 - 08:30 PM Rapaire should go to Crystal River and bathe in the calming waters among the fatty Manatee. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 31 Dec 09 - 06:33 PM No, I have just never been in any other cities (or rural areas for that matter) in Florida. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 31 Dec 09 - 02:58 PM ...nor have I ever been...anyplace in Florida other than Tampa and Jacksonville.... So do you generally make it a point to visit only the least stimulating cities in all states, or was Florida singled out for special treatment? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 31 Dec 09 - 02:39 PM And THAT, Bee-Dubya, is why your life is unfulfilled and incomplete, why you break into tears when you think of your wretched existence. Come. Join us. Do not be afraid. Regain your smiling, happy, youthful outlook between the Bannock and the Pocatello Ranges, where the Portneuf River flows gurgling into the Snake River, which flows through Idaho into Hell's Canyon and eventually into the Columbia and the sea. Yes, you COULD put your kayak in here and paddle to Portland and the Pacific, to Papeete and Pagopago and beyond. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Stilly River Sage Date: 31 Dec 09 - 02:22 PM Good thing MOM is out traveling around. I haven't done much this break, I'm glad someone is out having fun. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 31 Dec 09 - 01:18 PM Callahan's had vanished to a nuke before I could get there and I haven't gotten to Key West yet. L-City I might visit again (I remembered that I was there, years back, helping a guy named Bernardo de la Paz, nice old codger) but I'm afraid I'll find it pretty stuffy after the old days. I've heard that about Frostbite Falls too -- also that Camelot is now another (and worse) tourist trap, sorta like Bunratty Castle but really, really tacky. I mean, come on, who wants to go "Questing" if you have to put 25p into the horse every few minutes? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 31 Dec 09 - 12:13 PM Hah! I've been to all those places! In fact, about the only place in the known universe I haven't been is Pocatello, Idaho. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: MMario Date: 31 Dec 09 - 09:45 AM Rap - I'm surprised you;'ve never found your way to Callahan's - great place, good music. Frostbite Falls is nothing but a tourist trap these days. Luna City hasn't been worth visiting since their computer crashed, shortly after the revolution. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 31 Dec 09 - 09:22 AM I am not now, nor have I ever been, in Baton Rouge. Neither am I now nor have I ever been in Ulan Bator, Atlantis, Oklahoma, Wimbledon, Frostbite Falls, anyplace in Texas other than Dallas, Nunavit, The Shire, Luna City, anyplace in Florida other than Tampa and Jacksonville, Arkansas, Papeete, Betio, Dien Bien Phu, Hawaii, Ganymede, Ell-One, the Mote, Utopia, Erehwon, Lilliput, Jellystone Park, Lake Baikal, the Purple Onion, Callahan's, Pyongyang, Hazzard, Harvard, Yale, Williams, Brown, Oxford, Berlin, Montenegro, the Sudetenland, The Hague, Basel, Santa Catalina, the Daytona 500, the Kentucky Derby, Johnson City, King's Island, Six Flags, Florence, Lady Mary's House, or a helluva a lot of other places. I am currently in several places, but I can't tell you where they are without knowing your security clearance level. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Janie Date: 30 Dec 09 - 11:29 PM HAH! MOM and her trucker friend (mebbe not the one she took off with on I-64) headed for the Florida panhandle and cajoled BWL into crossing state lines with them by offering to load up the truck with his pot....errrr....pots and they are all busy setting up a booth on the street corner in Baton Rouge, even as I type, having formed a cajun band to draw in a crowd for the New Year's revelries and make BWL a rich man from his song writing and pot....errr....pots! Yep, I done figgered it out. That Zydeco music is comin' up through the hole in that big oak stump down by the road what Gluon keeps jumpin in and out of, always trailin' these weird lookin' strings. Damn! I should jumped up onto that truck with her. Wait a minute, Gluon was last observed humping Rapaire's leg. Either there is a cajun community in Idaho or Rapaire is with them, and too ashamed to say. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 30 Dec 09 - 10:07 PM ♫♫ ♫♫ I'm gonna tell you the story of a foolish man Left his girl 'cause she wouldn't make flan. She'd cook a pie, she'd bake a cake, But flan, oh no, she would not make. 'Twas back in nineteen eighty-three He said "Please make a flan for me!" She said "Flan? No, I won't make that! I wouldn't feed flan to a cat!" He said "To make flan, you must learn Or else a life with you I'll spurn. I'll paint your barn, I'll farm your land, But only if you'll make me flan!" She said "Sir, I would marry you But flan's one thing I will not do. If you must have flan on your plate Then, plainly, I'm not your soul mate." So that young man walked through her door. He left and he went back no more. And to this day, he doesn't understand Why the woman he loved wouldn't make him flan. ♫♫ ♫♫ |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Janie Date: 30 Dec 09 - 07:55 PM ....where is that Zydeco music coming from???? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Little Hawk Date: 30 Dec 09 - 07:07 PM Keep in mind, Amos, that holes are by their very nature holy. Sing "Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy are our holes!" Have you noticed that holes often act holier-than-thou? Well, why not? They are holier than thou. You can't get much holier than the average hole. Furthermore, a hole makes up less than the sum of its parts, and that is simply incredible! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 30 Dec 09 - 07:03 PM ...and still continue as such, huh? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 30 Dec 09 - 05:47 PM MOST excellent!! There is no better instrument to begin singing the world with. I played nothing else as a beginner for years. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Stilly River Sage Date: 30 Dec 09 - 05:22 PM Nope. I think you need a good wood floor to get the right tones, and we have a concrete slab here at the house. It's used as a straight classical guitar. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 30 Dec 09 - 05:15 PM So, you're going to start dancing Flamenco? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Stilly River Sage Date: 30 Dec 09 - 04:39 PM Stop Quarking and shed a happy tear, please. I posted this elsewhere, but I'll share it with you also. I was writing to Micca but I cut it out to use for a couple of posts: This has been a week for happy children. My son has been taking guitar lessons for four years from a very good teacher here in Fort Worth. I've wanted him to have those lessons and through financial hard times we've cut other things to keep up the lessons (cable TV is highly over-rated anyway!) We chose Michael because he teaches music, theory, technique, all of those things you generally miss when you take lessons down at the local mass-music store and learn a few songs. Michael gave Dylan a loaner guitar to use (it is a flamenco guitar, one that at the time he said was worth about $1,500 but had "some issues.") Through his studio we had a guitar on order from a Spanish maker, but it never came in, and we've continued with this guitar over the years. Today I figured I'd better set the wheels in motion to get him a classical of his own, because come August he'll be heading to college, and I'd like him to have the classical as well as the electric. Michael responded "I've thought of that as Dylan's guitar for years. It's his." I am so grateful! And Dylan, also, I think, was surprised, though he didn't show much. But what a tremendous gift. I was going to offer to pay the price of his lessons out for a year after he goes to college to pay for the guitar. This is such a great gift to both of us! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 30 Dec 09 - 04:26 PM Gluon? That mangy duckdog don't do nothin/ except hump your le Quark!
Quark! Quark! Quark! goddammit, you've been rolling is dead stars again! Quit humping my leg! Go bother Amos!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 30 Dec 09 - 03:57 PM From their birth substance and only married To others of their kind in a Union of Absence. Ignoring their origins they bond to Examples of what is not there, wherever found. In this, we are akin to holes When drilling into the world And leaking into it Thoughts born from Zero, thrown hard from afar, aiming To pepper hard reality, spicing things up From beyond the fence of the universe. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 30 Dec 09 - 03:43 PM You can tell your Dad that you swear to quit drinkin' If he powers your SUbaru with a V-8 Lincoln!! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Janie Date: 30 Dec 09 - 03:37 PM Very sorry to hear of the death of your cousin, Rap. Have had a couple of clients in my time whose health were seriously compromised and/or their lives probably forshortened by agent orange exposure, and one friend who eventually died after devastating health problems attributible to Gulf War Syndrome. Amos, it sounds like you and your family celebrated the life of your brother in a manner of which he heartily approved. Gotta run, I think I hear Zydeco music coming from what what is either an abyss or a worm hole. If Gluon shows up, I'll let you know. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 30 Dec 09 - 03:35 PM Then, too, the question arises why racism is so rampant on the subject of holes. We look down on brown holes and fear black holes, get nervous about pot-holes, make fun of rabbit-holes. White holes are only thought of at Christmas time or when hunting Esquimeaux... My earlier essay demonstrates that in the deepest sense, all holes are created equal in absence. What is the sense in pigeon-holing them? (See, there you go again!) This ingrained cultural bias has GOT to be cured. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Janie Date: 30 Dec 09 - 03:29 PM Taking both Amos' and LH's advice regarding holes to heart, and being unable to find an economy sized hole for the engine only, and being unable to get to the Grand Canyon (should I ever have the opportunity to witness that great hole in the ground, I do not want car problems distracting me from the experience,) and having the brain kick back into gear after the initial shock from the call from the dealership, my Dad, even as we speak, is supervising the removal of the car from the dealership to a guy who is going to drop a used engine into it for somewhere between $1800 and $2100 depending on what else looks like it is a good idea to replace. Would like to give Rapaire and Maggie some credit, just to keep things balanced around here, but the brain (and that of me Da's) began functioning first. The little Chevy Aveo rental sure does get good gas mileage. Do you reckon the rumor that MOM has joined a Zydeco band are true? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 30 Dec 09 - 03:21 PM My apologies, Sirrah, for mis-attributing that Most Profounde Remarque. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 30 Dec 09 - 03:16 PM For what is ...as Rustic put it so well so long ago. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Janie Date: 30 Dec 09 - 03:16 PM Hear! Hear! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 30 Dec 09 - 02:18 PM In this incandescent hour, as the cycle of the planet drawes to completion and the dawn of new miles, new days, new hopes lies ahead, I urge you tor emember the second-most profound thing ever said in these hallowed halls, voiced by no less a voice than BWL (who incidentally also posted the first-most profound thing ever voiced in these hallowed halls). In doing so, stir yourselves to break new ground, abandon old restraints, unleash the daemons of your highest creative powers, lose sleep and gain conquests. Always remember:
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 30 Dec 09 - 12:24 PM My condolences. I would like to see a wrongful death suit on his behalf. LH, I looked for the compelling issues you described in the recent updates to the thread, but could only find a dissertation on holes and pits, about which I think I already wrote the seminal work prompted by your architectural enquiry concerning the Albert Hall. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Rapparee Date: 30 Dec 09 - 11:37 AM I.e., Amos is still hung over. And it's understandable. My cousin Jim died on the 26th, of Agent Orange-caused ALS. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Little Hawk Date: 30 Dec 09 - 11:05 AM Welcome back. The political ferment that has assailed the forum in your absence is reaching apocalyptic levels of bloviation, and could only be improved upon by a post or two from your esteemed self. Get to it as soon as you have fully recovered, my good man. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 30 Dec 09 - 11:01 AM IT's been the longest Xmas week ever; all day Monday was spent in a dreamlike tarantella with scores of cousins, nephews, and distant family connections who gathered to celebrate the life of my recent brother; it was one helluva day. I gave some remarks and sang The Parting Glass; Barky performed Taps and was told multiple times it was the best "Taps" ever performed. We did The Saints together as an end-piece and then all the cousins, nephews, sisters, daughters, in-laws and such gathered at a nearby motel and drank. AN amazing day. Bleary and still somewhat rattled from emotion, we climbed out of bed at five AM and drove from Grass Valley to San Diego. Whoooof!!! Hiya, Mom. How ya been? A |
