BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Dec 09 - 07:26 PM

Would ya take 40?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Dec 09 - 07:34 PM

As life drifted on toward a new dawn
And the Earth was slowly turning
From within the gloom of a distant room
A single lamp was burning
'Twas Amos, hunched before the light
Of a glimmering monitor screen
His eyes were bloodshot, his nerves were tight
His complexion was turning green
He was toiling, turning out the type
Of a poetic tour-de-force
He was trying to raise a frantic hype
For a number that lay on the course
And the number he flogged as he filled his blog
Was a number of which you may
Have sometimes heard, not the 23rd,
But the 33 of K
"Yes! The 33 of K!", he shrieked,
His whiskers did tremble so
And he blathered on without surcease
While the blustery winds did blow
In a ceaseless and mad cacophony
'Gainst the wall of his castle drear
And in the forests and fields around
The wild beasts shrank in fear
For upon him comes this madness
As the hour approaches fast
When the 33 of K will be nailed
To the Pequod's shivering mast
And abandon hope all ye aboard!
For the gleam in his raving eye
Presages a dire and terrible fate
For all who venture nigh
"'Tis the madness of 33K," they say
And then shrink away in dread
As Amos types on through the night to the dawn
Disdaining his rest and his bed
The man is possesed, that much is clear
He has little else to say
But to blather and blither, as forth we go thither
To the threshhold of 33 K

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Dec 09 - 07:52 PM

Don't believe anything. Regard things on a scale of probabilities.
The things that seem most absurd, put under 'Low Probability', and
the things that seem most plausible, you put under 'High
Probability'. Never believe anything. Once you believe anything, you
stop thinking about it. The more things you believe, the less mental
activity. If you believe something, and have an opinion on every
subject, then your brain activity stops entirely, which is clinically
considered a sign of death, nowadays in medical practice. So put
things on a scale or probability, and never believe or disbelieve
anything entirely.

-Robert A. Wilson (interview with "innerview")

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Dec 09 - 08:33 PM

♫♫

All Amos wants is to be the one,
To post Thirty-three K and run.
It would be so much fun!
Oh, wouldn't it be MOABy?

♫♫

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Dec 09 - 08:38 PM

♫♫

All I want is a laptop kit,
With built-in wireless so I can sit,
And post BS while I take a shit!
Oh, wouldn't it be MOABy?

♫♫

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Dec 09 - 09:51 PM

Oh, how MOABY sitting pounding on the bloody keys
I would never stop 'til
Lit-tle
Hawk gave up his wheeze!!!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Dec 09 - 10:02 PM

Seriously, LH, your quatrains are well-formed but they are built on a rotten premise.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Dec 09 - 10:54 PM

…if I were not an atheist, I would believe in a God who would choose to save people on the basis of the totality of their lives and not the pattern of their words. I think he would prefer an honest and righteous atheist to a TV preacher whose every word is God, God, God, and whose every deed is foul, foul, foul.
[Isaac Asimov, I. Asimov: A Memoir]

…If we are going to save America and evangelize the world, we cannot accommodate secular philosophies that are diametrically opposed to Christian truth…We need to pull out all the stops to recruit and train 25 million Americans to become informed pro-moral activists whose voices can be heard in the halls of Congress. I am convinced that America can be turned around if we will all get serious about the Master's business. It may be late, but it is never too late to do what is right. We need an old-fashioned, God-honoring, Christ-exalting revival to turn American back to God. America can be saved!
[Jerry Falwell, in the Moral Majority Report, September 1984.]

…in matters of faith, inconvenient evidence is always suppressed while contradictions go unnoticed.
Gore Vidal

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Dec 09 - 11:19 PM

Amos, that passage you quoted from Robert A. Wilson about belief is brilliant! It expresses the matter perfectly, and I am printing out a copy of it to put on my wall here. Bravo!

*****

Asimov's comments on the post following are sensible enough...but hardly revelatory! He is merely stating the very obvious...that a just "God" would find an honest man preferable to a hypocrite. It seems to me, though, that a God worth venerating would save everyone, not just the people s(he) happens to like better! ;-) Only a God that is some kind of vengeful monster would send souls to eternal torment.

****

Falwell's comment holds no interest for me. I think he's deluded.

****

Gore Vidal is quite correct in what he says. What he said applies just as well to political faith, conventional medical faith as shown by many in our present medical establishment, or any other common kind of faith (meaing: belief) as it does to religious faith. They all tend to suppress inconvenient evidence and ignore contradictions within their own cherished set of assumptions. It is a key characteristic of how the human ego works...unless it becomes stringently honest and capable of engaging in real and honest self-criticism on a regular basis.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Dec 09 - 11:44 PM

Falwell DELUDED? At leas he isn't militating for equal rights for second-tier primates! :D

Thanks for the kind remarks.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Dec 09 - 03:31 AM

Well...perhaps he doesn't know any second-tier primates. ;-) I bet Chongo could enlighten the folks who gather around Jerry Falwell.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Dec 09 - 11:23 AM

He could surely scare the be jeezus out of them, anyway. Sometimes I wish Chongo were Real.



A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Dec 09 - 12:31 PM

It would be a good trick indeed, since ol' Jerry F. is deader'n yesterday's want ads.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Dec 09 - 12:36 PM

YEah, well, don't be troubling my BS with facts now, Rapaire!!


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Dec 09 - 01:59 PM

Rapaire Joins the Legionne. The other members of the group are drunk. Can you tell which one is Rapaire?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Dec 09 - 02:07 PM

Rapaire's the one with the rifle.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 06 Dec 09 - 02:11 PM

He is the one standin' beside the guy with the hat that says "I'm With the IDIOT ---->".

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Dec 09 - 02:20 PM

Naw! He's the one wearin' a hat.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 06 Dec 09 - 02:25 PM

I do not believe he is even in that pitcher. Not one of 'em looks stoopid enuff to be him. If I could get aholt of them guys somehow I would hire 'em to go down to Ida-flippin'-ho and put a flippin' end to Rapoop. They look like they could flippin' do the job to me.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 06 Dec 09 - 03:12 PM

Great breakfast this morning, MOM! Those buttermilk pancakes with strawberry syrup were spectacular!

Don't worry about all of that sticky syrup on the table. I'm sure one of the dogs will come along and lick it up.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Dec 09 - 04:33 PM

The Legionairres discuss Rapaire's merits as a candidate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Dec 09 - 04:36 PM

Rapaire tries to influence the election.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 06 Dec 09 - 04:50 PM

Looks like the last election in Iraq...Was Rapaire there?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Dec 09 - 07:20 PM

The noble Rapaire would take umbrage at these purported "Wits" but he never fights with unarmed men.

The noble Rapaire will, however, point out that Shame has neither the education nor the balls to do whatever he was going to hire done himself. In fact, his middle name (now revealed for the first time!) is Eunuch. Shame Eunuch McBride of Blind River. Of course, Shame never uses his middle name (nor his surname for that matter) since he can barely spell his first name (which he thinks is and signs as "X").

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Dec 09 - 07:24 PM

LOL! Not true! His middle name is Aleister. He swears he'll kill anyone who reveals it, because he finds it very embarrassing. Shane Aleister McBride. You heard it here on December 6, 2009 from an unimpeachable source.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Dec 09 - 07:57 PM

The noble Rapaire only want his grisly history to be honored in the abstract. Meanwhile the scurrilous Leedle Hack asserts he is. himself, an unimpeachable source, whereas it is a matter of historical record that he is eminently impeachable and his veracity has been repeatedly impeached here on this very proving ground!


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 06 Dec 09 - 08:28 PM

You are gonna flippin' DIE, Liddle Hawk!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Dec 09 - 08:44 PM

Shame Aleister McBride! You stop talking that way to your betters! And you be glad you're an Aleister and not a Eunuch. I mean, you're still a catrato, a little creep who can't count above ten without taking off your shoes and God knows, if you did that Environment Canada would declare all of Ontario a toxic waste disaster.

On a lighter subject, I noticed in the Toronto newspaper that Jennifer Dana, of the Ontario Provincial Police, is getting married.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Dec 09 - 08:49 PM

Oh dear...

This is not good.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 06 Dec 09 - 09:00 PM

you're still a catrato,

Hmmm. We have a cat at our house, but not a "catrato."

I bet Rapaire was calling Shane a "castrato," and entirely different creature entirely. Now hit high C, please. . .

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 06 Dec 09 - 09:04 PM

"If this is the bottom, well OK, I figured we'd get there someday"....

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Dec 09 - 09:06 PM

High C? The time Don flushed his stash down the toilet he hit G above high C.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 06 Dec 09 - 09:09 PM

"Doodle do do doo, a doodle do do doo
A doodle do do doo doodle doodle do do doo,
I guess we've arrived this must be the bottom"

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Dec 09 - 09:12 PM

Nah, nowhere near it because there is no bottom. Mother MOAB is more like a Klein bottle than a Mason jar.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 06 Dec 09 - 09:15 PM

"Shane's all hangover, he's got a mouth full of cotton
Guess he's arrived this must be his bottom"

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Dec 09 - 09:20 PM

Good lard and hamhocks, man! Not even his doctor wants anything to do with Shame's bottom unless s/he's in a heavy-duty, air-supplied, hazmat suit. Angels hold umbrellas over Shame when it rains because God doesn't want his run-off polluting Lake Huron and killing all the fish clear out to the Grand Banks.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 06 Dec 09 - 09:41 PM

Shane's favourite pick up line:
"Nice melons on U, U'r ham hocks and snout ain't too shabby eider"

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Dec 09 - 09:44 PM

Ah, the Klein bottle! The only thing Gluon will drink from. Nothing ol' Gluon enjoys more than a Klein bagel washed down with a Klein bottle full of Denebian Ditchwater.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 Dec 09 - 01:15 AM

Sounds more like a Klingon bottle.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Dec 09 - 08:30 AM

Dear Santa:

I have been mostly a good boy most of the year. That incident with Amos and the noodles doesn't count because it was his fault, and Shame McBride is nobody's fault except that of the condom maker. So that being the case, please bring me a Klein Stein for Christmas. If you don't have any in stock, you can get them here. I can take it to city hall and drink coffee out of it and confuse the heck out of everyone.

Thank you for all you do, Santa. You're one of the Good Guys.

Sincerely yours,
Rapaire
(The good one of Mom's boys.)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Dec 09 - 10:41 AM

Aha!! The truth is out!! Rapaire is secretly a member of the Mysterious Leaguue of Those Who Talk to Imaginary Friends!!!

SOmebody send him the Official Dakota Ring.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 Dec 09 - 11:11 AM

I see we are getting near to another racing stage, aren't we? Janie, girl, you have your running shoes on?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Dec 09 - 11:49 AM

This is 32897. In one hundred and three more posts we will pass the Thirty Three of Kay.

There will be verses.

After all, we can't just leave all those brave sailors stuck in a gale, can we?


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 07 Dec 09 - 12:39 PM

We can't?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Dec 09 - 01:11 PM

Well, I can't. Even though I don't hold long conversations with imaginary characters doesn't mean I don't have compassion for them!! You ever been stuck in a gale that seemed like it would go on forever??? No fun.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 Dec 09 - 01:12 PM

The race is easy, 100 posts. MOM'll knock it off in an afternoon. Unless she's staying indoors because it's cold outside.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 Dec 09 - 01:13 PM

As Amos started to point out, in some areas it's cold outside.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Dec 09 - 01:15 PM

You just nailed 32,900, Stilly. Impressive.

I have been hearing disturbing rumours from Blind River. It seems that Shane has gone into a major depression and is trying to drink himself to death. There may not be enough booze on hand to accomplish that aim. If so, I shudder to think what may happen.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Dec 09 - 01:26 PM

The clock on the cabin wall said ten,
But the air was thick as night
And the heading seas lambasted our bow
To the left and to the right.
There was nary a glimmer of morning sun
Dark the sky, the sea, the air.
And every soul of our gallant crew
WOndered whut he was doin' there.

But the knots ticked by--why they seemed to fly,
As we ran before that gale
Though the best we could do was a guess or two
On our fix, as the harsh wind wailed.
But we knew if we kept the quartering head
And the wind kept on blowing that way,
That it wouldn't be long, if we weren't all lost,
We'd come home to the next of Kay.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Dec 09 - 01:51 PM

Then the lookout cried, "Torpedo to port!"
And the captain soiled his pants
He whimpered and moaned and whined and groaned
And went on one of his rants.
But the bold and noble Rapaire, tho' a lowly deckhand he,
Grabbed the wheel and turned her hard to the right, or starboard,      nautically,
And the torpedo missed by half an inch
On the way to thirty-three kay.