BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Feb 14 - 01:12 AM

A... ye still suckin on tha e-smokes er ere ye cured? Wassa brand name a them things?

2:10 AM? Huh? My back is sore... this chair ain't no bed... which is where I oughta be.

gnightgnu

zzzzzzzzzzzz

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Feb 14 - 11:41 PM

It is nothing short of a miracle that the Blessed Halls of Mom were gifted with the Presence of King Khandu just as she was approaching the Finnish Line. That's the border that separates Norway from Finland, where the five-dollar bills are a major cash crop, as it were. Obama missed a bet by not trademarking the face of Abe. Could have balanced the national debt right there! No Abe, no fins. No fins, no Finland,. Simple...

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Feb 14 - 11:12 PM

Fifty thousand coming up, but either gnu or khandu or me started page 1,000. Imagine it -- one THOUSAND pages of the finest BS ever assembled in one place! Only the "Congressional Record" contains more, but nothing anywhere is of such fine quality.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,khandu
Date: 08 Feb 14 - 09:29 PM

Wow! I am sorely amazed! Nearly 50,000 post, almost 11 years, and you guys have carried the largest load of BS Mudcat has ever imagined. I applaud you who have been faithful to your MOAB and kept her alive and well long after we who help get her cranked went else where. I am sure there are conversations here that are worthy of the best minds on line anywhere. Equally, I am certain the bullshit has never grown stale amid the brilliance, but is smelling as strong as ever.

You guys have my high regard and utmost respect!
I salute you all!

khandu, king of his imaginary ethereal kingdom of Mississippi

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Feb 14 - 03:21 PM

I guess Rap has frostbite in his finners. It won't be much longer now. They say it's a painless death... ya just fall asleep in the cold and freeze solid. Me? Not a hope. I refuse to freeze to death on principle. I am a Canuck DAMMIT! And I am gonna go out like one! No freeeeezzzzin fer me, eh la? I am gonna out in warmth in my weehicle in my garage with the windows down and my foot to the pedal on a full tank a gas. May as well... the tar sands and the natgas are gonna kill us all anyway whether we like assisted suicide or not.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYOKan7nFCA&list=RDnER5D8oWuq8

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapparee
Date: 08 Feb 14 - 02:33 PM

I'm posting this from my iPod. Outside my parka all is white blizzard; the last dog died of cold an hour ago. I don't know how long my iPod will continue to work in this cold, if if I don't make it Amos can have my teddy bear if he can get it away from LH. It's been geting warmer in the last few minu

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Feb 14 - 11:41 AM

Outside of Churchill, Manitoba, living in an igloo and hoping there is food before I have to eat the dogs. Polar ice and bears surround my and my last candle stub is my only source of heat.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Feb 14 - 11:00 AM

I dunno where she is, but Ah'll ask her, Right? Right?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Feb 14 - 10:53 AM

Wait til he tastes fried ptarmigan. He'll never leave.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 08 Feb 14 - 07:45 AM

Seal liver AND mushed dog. Greedy bugger, ain't he?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Feb 14 - 07:05 AM

He's where the Huskies go.

Ididamile... good one.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Feb 14 - 02:20 AM

Where are you, my wandering friend?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Feb 14 - 12:18 AM

Saw the aurora tonite. I hope the pix come out.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Feb 14 - 08:19 PM

Depending upon my needs I will shop anywhere. Just this afternoon I was in the Walmart in Flin Flon, MB where seal liver was on sale. Naturally I picked up a couple of kilos for emergency fare, because you never can tell. I'm keeping it in the fridge in the dining room.

No aurora last night and probably none tonight. Cloudy last night and blowing snow and clouds tonight.

Did you know that if you go outside and whistle you can whistle up the aurora. It will come in all of its glory, but it will take you away with it. I learned this last night in a class on the aurora by A Noted Canadian Astrologer...er, Astronomer.

I'm tired. We went dog mushing is afternoon and I was on a team of seven, with an old and a young lead. Nice run, and I can now say that I was a participant in the Ididamile.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 Feb 14 - 06:37 PM

There are some things that I will go to WalMart for, maybe once a year, usually things like cough medicine or Sudafed. I feel like my IQ is slipping every moment once I drive onto the parking lot so I make my visits as brief and infrequent as possible. I used to be able to get these things at KMart, but KMart moved out of town - I'd have to drive 200+ miles to Abilene to go to a KMart now.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Feb 14 - 12:35 PM

I went to (shuffle feet and stare at ground)... Walmart. There, I said it. A heavy burden has been lifted and the road to ridding myself of the guilt that gnaws at me in the pit of my stomach can begin. Well, after I go back Monday morning. I mean, red seedless grapes for $1.47 a pound? In February? In Moncton, New Frozen Brunswick? Friday is 'flier day' at Walmart and they sold out in an hour. The veggie guy I talked to said he had to tell (I was there at 11:30; they open at 8:00.) near 200 people the same thing : sold out >>> raincheck at customer service. I went to customer service, looked at the lineup, and left.

Now, I do go to 'that' store for Mum's lutiene (vitamin for the eyes) but that's justified as only they sell it in a 10mg dose. Oh yeah, the price is 1/3 of the other stores.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 07 Feb 14 - 10:52 AM

GUEST at 12.08 was me. So what happened since 06.39?

Sounds like Rap's gone snow blind already...

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Feb 14 - 10:42 PM

Fifty shades of white? Stay warm, Ebbie.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Feb 14 - 10:29 PM

Better safe than sorry.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 06 Feb 14 - 09:18 PM

My 1/4" of snow has sublimated from my yard, but I hear there is still some on the roads in the area. They sent people who were foolish enough to go to work today home a bit early. I may take tomorrow just for the heck of it, give myself a four day weekend stuck in the house.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 06 Feb 14 - 08:28 PM

It's gonna be a l o n g trip, Rap.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Feb 14 - 08:02 PM

I am staring at a window filled with white! Probably because the shade is down.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Feb 14 - 03:07 PM

Well, Ebbie, I allus did say Chacun a son mauvais gout. I was treating the "Mom of all BS" as a singular noun phrase, rather than treating "all BS" as the object of the verb "to exalt" which of course wouldn't make much sense.

But at least I sound like I know what I'm doing.

That's halfway there!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 06 Feb 14 - 01:33 PM

"Then mount and ride, you Mudcats all
Your sins of silence all confess!
And raising voices in her thrall
Absolve the Mom of all BS!" A

My apologies, Amos. But it just seems to fit better. :)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Feb 14 - 01:03 PM

Or Bahamas.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Feb 14 - 12:29 PM

It must be rough in Moncton, having to deal with all that white stuff and move trucks in the bitter wind and the predawen light. Short days, long nights, short tempers and not a snuggly bunny in sight. I would seriously think about moving to Barbados.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 06 Feb 14 - 12:08 PM

Talking about the snow and the cold, so far we've had a really mild winter here in the Midlands. I've only seen two morning frosts and Judi, who walks the dog around 8am (ish), has only seen three.

Mind you, we've had an awful lot of stormy weather.

D'you think Rap's tasty? Or do the bears eat anything...

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Feb 14 - 11:47 AM

Stayed home and prepared for a COLD early morning snowjob. I was out the door, armed with a shovel, at 5:45 but the storm missed us and we only 4 or 5". Just enough to bring out the plows and thereby requiring moving my truck.

So, it's just you and me. Rap's been eaten by polars bears. Amos is again off on a junket to some licentious den of iniquity. SRS has lost power due to a massive snowstorm that has dumped between 1/4" to as much as 2" in Texas. And the LHs have finally gone stark raving mad.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 06 Feb 14 - 06:39 AM

Well, yesterday evening I went to the school of art & design in Wolverhampton and spent three hours making two colour sketches of a naked man. Where'd you go?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Feb 14 - 05:27 AM

Where'd ye all go?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Feb 14 - 05:23 PM

Ooooohh for all I've done
For want of wit
Matters not even
One least little bit

And for all the harm
That I e'er done
I really can't
Give a shit

For it's all been said
And it's all been done
I can't take it back
Tho it weighs a ton

So since it falls
Unto my lot
That I should rise
And you should not
I'll gently rise
And I'll softly call
Good night and joy be with you all

Whatever, 2014 er so.

RAP... where ya at b'y?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Feb 14 - 02:38 PM

Ah, dog dog dog doggerel
Dog dog dog dog doggerel

Oh dog er el, take my mind
You got me rockin' and a-rollin'
Rockin' and a-reelin'
Doggerel ba ba
BAH doggeral

Gno Talent
Unfinished and Unlikely Collection
Stunnedasmearse Publishing Inc.
East Overshoe, NB, CAN
cw Doubtful

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Feb 14 - 10:47 PM

Man, that is just the most DEElicious doggerel, I swan.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Feb 14 - 06:24 PM

The morning wanes, the afternoon begins;
Another day to contemplate what's not
And what might be, except for various sins
Of Christian, Arab, Jew and Hottentot.
But in these halls, no race or creed applies.
The hymn of Mom is universally raised
Both by the wise and by the otherwise
Who march for Fifty Kay, their hearts unfazed.
Tramp on! Tramp on! Through hill and vale,
From thinnest dawning to the end of day.
ON! To the Grail, the calling Grail!
The Holy Mother's goal of Fifty Kay!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 Feb 14 - 03:56 PM

True. The plane ALWAYS lands, one way or another.

I hope you get there eventually, and before they have to take you out to your ship via tugboat or rowboat or dinghy.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Feb 14 - 02:25 PM

Druther land and not be able to get it back in the air than the other way around. Of course, any flying machine can and will "land" -- eventually and unpleasantly.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 Feb 14 - 12:54 PM

Pete... I would be glad not to go with the initial plan*. "Drive to arrive." has a similar saying when using a heavier than air machine to hurtle thru the sky.... not worth a fiddler's fuck if ya can't land or land and then can't get it up.

* http://radar.weather.gov/ridge/Conus/index_loop.php

Rap, ya might not get to see Burt or Randy or Bif Naked. THAT is indeed a shame. But, the fly and die thing would be far worse. WHO would torment A? None can compare to the daring Rapaire. Not a monkey nor a Penelope nor a Shane with a brain. Shane with a brain? Yes, that does sound inane. Get on that plane!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 04 Feb 14 - 11:42 AM

Indiana, Rap? I thought you were flying from Chicago, which is in Illinois on my map...wherever you are a detour via Denver is a bloody long way in anybody's book! Geez.

My sympathies, gnu. Have another beer.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Feb 14 - 09:48 AM

Still in Indiana. Flight cancelled at 0430, leaving tomorrow for Winny via Denver. I am not pleased!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 Feb 14 - 07:05 AM

Worst Superbowl ever, Pete. Worse than when Da Bears beat em 55 to 10. I like watching football but not when it's by only one team. The crowd noise really disrupted the audibles caused by that great defense of Seattle.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 04 Feb 14 - 06:51 AM

43-8. You can come out now, gnu, it's finished.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 03 Feb 14 - 02:29 PM

Say "hi" to Burt and Randy for me while yer in Winnepeg. If ya see Bif, tell her ta put some clothes on... it's February eh? GEEZEOH EH!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Feb 14 - 12:01 PM

On the road again....

Silly Amos! I ain't dead; even though the lights are on, I'm not at home.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Feb 14 - 12:09 AM

THere are only ninety posts to go
Posts of wisdom, posts of joy
To make our Mom reach Fifty K
BEyond the grasp of hoi-polloi

But bold Rapparee has hit the road
ANd Little Hawk has wandered away
Bemused by spirits, Dylan, gin,
Or starlets who led him astray.

So now we few, we blessed few
Are left to haul the burden through
Into the mists of history
Just Stilly, Amos, Pete and Gnu

Perhaps there'll be another voice
Who chimes a beat upon the lap
Who sings one round of thundering hooves
One step along our trail of pap.

But every post shall blessed be!
And every thought shall have its say!
For Mom will surely guided be
To the final Gate of Fifty Kay!

Then mount and ride, you Mudcats all
Your sins of silence all confess!
And raising voices in her thrall
Exalt the Mom of all BS!

Come wit, come wisdom, humor trite
Come essay, poem, and doggerel!
Your boldest visions now recite!
And see the Mom of BS through!

ANd when the work is truly done
And every poster had his say,
We'll see our race is finally run,
And Mom stands proud, at Fifty Kay!

Ignastius Semmelweisenheim III
Prussian Lullabies and Other Ridicule
Hardt Hatz and Codpieces, Inc.
Auf der Toppen, AUstria, 1959

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Feb 14 - 11:59 PM

Don't be a naughty Eskimo
Save your money, don't go to the show

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Feb 14 - 04:44 PM

I leave Tuesday from Chicago. Right now I'm in the SLC airport, waiting for the flight to Chicago. Two days in Winnipeg and then to Churchill and the auroras.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 Feb 14 - 04:34 PM

Watch out where the huskies go
And don't you eat that yellow snow

Frank

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 02 Feb 14 - 01:50 PM

Just in case Rap hasn't left yet: Happy Landings!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 Feb 14 - 01:37 PM

SRS... I believe the muktuk Rap refers to is fat and not dried or canned. I have never had whale fat but I have eaten caribou stew which was made with ONLY caribou fat after asking if there was ANYthing else to eat after being fed seal three meals a day for three days. If I ever am in another situation where these are the only things available to eat, I will lose weight until weak.

Rap... when do you leave for certain death?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 02 Feb 14 - 12:29 PM

They can muktuk, then it doesn't need to be frozen or shipped all that fast. My aunt from Calgary sent us a couple of cans one year as a joke - I don't remember if we opened them or not.