BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 06 May 14 - 01:29 PM

Good job with those fe-lions, Amos! And aren't they cute when they're asleep?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 06 May 14 - 07:47 AM

I can't afford enough for EVERYONE at the Getaway- you would have to share it with , oh, about 150 people…

How about we get together Friday before it starts and find one?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 14 - 09:48 PM

Well, I'm no physicist, jist a old, retired, broke-down country liberrian. But iffen I was you I'd jist send me one er two of these. Full, of course. Then you ain't got ta worry bout no red-blue shift.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 05 May 14 - 01:51 PM

Well, I was planning on borrowing a rail-gun….


But I'm looking into the rum now.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 May 14 - 01:47 PM

If you can pitch fast enough to shift the blues, you have an interesting career ahead of you!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 05 May 14 - 12:33 PM

Rapparee,

How fast do I need to throw the JW at you to shift it blue enough for you?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 May 14 - 11:53 AM

Did you know the "Gem State" is Idaho?

Is Idaho where Mr. Potato Head is from?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 14 - 10:32 AM

I just don't see how people can live in such places, gnu! You really should move somewhere with better weather. Repulse Bay, perhaps, or Iglulik.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 May 14 - 07:21 AM

Flurries on the fifth of the fifth here.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 14 - 12:06 AM

As long as the fifth of Forth has froth, forsooth.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 May 14 - 11:51 PM

I'll offer a fifth of Forth to that.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 14 - 10:01 PM

This is an important date in Scotland. It's the Fourth of Fifth.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 14 - 08:54 PM

Feral cats are actually an important part of the urban environment and you did a Good Thing in helping out, Amos.

I helped out on a similar thing back in my early teen years, except it was on feral skunks. That was a Boy Scout project (thought up by the Scoutmaster) which didn't work out so well. Oh, the anesthesia was in the bait so they were "out" when they were brought to us and during the operation, but we loaded them back into the Scoutmaster's van before they woke up. They awakened as he was on the way to drop them off; an Army Chemical Warfare decontamination unit was eventually called in. The place where he eventually ran off the road is barren to this day, and he was forced to live in a tent on the top of Windy Hill for a little over a year.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 May 14 - 08:10 PM

Well, I spent a ;pmg, hot morning helpipng work a volunteer assembly line for the spaying and neutering of feral cats. On this particular session about 60 feral cats were delivered in trap-boxes to a clinic in La Mesa, a lively small town just eastof here, and the cats anaesthetized and removed from the cages. The cages got washed, dried, lined and laid out in numerical order, each cage being numbered with a number matching the one on its cat's tag. The veterinarians did all the major medical work, neutering, sewing up wounds, filling them full of vaccines, pulling rotten teeth, and so on. Then the cats got handed through--still totally unconscious--to a clutch of volunteer ladies who groomed them, cleaned their ears out and clipped the tip of one ear to show they had been neutered. Then the cats small and large, still very comatose, were put back into their now-cleaned cages to sleep it off. Some of them were pretty pissed off when they wolke up. Eventually all the cages with their occupants were collected by those who captured and brougt them in originally. The cats are re-released, their medical issues and reproductive powers both resolved, to live out the lives they were living, but without multiplicaytion.

Doing all this sixty times, with the wild variables of individual issues and differences, is quite an interesting floorshow. I am glad BBW talked me into volunteering.

My dog was suspicious of the whole thing, though...

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 May 14 - 04:05 PM

. . . proving once again that BS doesn't come just from bulls!

MOM, you're at the bottom rung. Yes, you have until 9 tonight, but still, it's unseemly.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 May 14 - 09:33 PM

I'd tell more about Old Bossy but I'd break down in tears, like the time she ran into the hours and upstairs to let us know about the fire in the basement, which, thanks to her quick action, was easily put out and the house and our lives saved.

Or the time it got so cold and she let us cuddle up to her for warmth and then gave ice cream for a week. And the time my other brother fell in a well and Old Bossy ran for help just like Lassie.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 03 May 14 - 08:52 PM

RIP and thanks, Bossy. Great burgers.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 May 14 - 06:46 PM

I just got a call from my brother. Old Bossy the cow died today.

She wasn't just any old cow. Old Bossy could point pheasants and quail, retrieve, and was even a fair to middling good duck cow. I remember the time at the old swimming hole when Old Bossy jumped in and saved my little brother's life when he got tangled in a submerged steamboat wreck.

She even gave milk that was 90% cream. Milked herself, she did, and it was a treat to see!

Well, she's in greener pastures now. My brother told me that before she went she even took a marker and outlined the good cuts.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 03 May 14 - 04:11 PM

MMFFTT.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 May 14 - 03:57 PM

Like the man wrote, "Any day spent fishing is better than a day spent...what was that word...something I used to do...hmmm...."

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 03 May 14 - 02:40 PM

Trout Trout
All aboutst
Flash n roll.
While I troll
Take no fly
Say goodbye
Crapped out
No trout
What will I fry

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 03 May 14 - 02:09 PM

I grew up with rainbow and cutthroat as the native species in the lake where we had a cabin. Up in the mountains is was a brown trout that was introduced and problematic.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 May 14 - 11:25 PM

Cutthroats? Ye mean them there pirates? Scallywags! Her Majesty's Royal Navy shall skim and skin such scum and send them to scuttle beneath the deep blue. Now, if talkin trout, flour dredge and a hot oiled pan... eggs over easy with cracked wheat toast... mmmmm good!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 May 14 - 10:46 PM

Pah. The bag limit is all you can catch plus one.

Actually, there is no limit on rainbows here. In fact, you can't even do catch and release with them. They're considered and "invasive species" and destroy habitat needed for the native cutthroats.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 May 14 - 09:24 PM

So... I says ta buddy... whassa bag limit? E says, "Zir! Much asa bag'll old eh!"

340 4+ pound speckles me zon! Done er on sleds end a winter near. Taken at ye arse end a yer Rigolet pond what be some tirty mile west a Rigolet... as if I ad ta spell that out eh? Google yer eart onat eh.

Shockin tasty dem trout. Buddy. Buddy! PINK! Fry only fry only! I am serious me zon... the fish flesh was almost as pure a proper colour as that on a package of du Maurier smokes. Some shockin good.

From... Memories of Labrador, I think, cw now, me.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 May 14 - 06:21 PM

He's going to make a scooter out of two roller skates and some scrap lumber.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 02 May 14 - 05:16 PM

Context is everything. Placed in the Mother of All BS with a high digital goal it works.

A bottle of 10-year-old Ardbeg or a case of Shiner Black Lager.

Getaway - another one of those goals I'm still aiming at.

Have you finished all of your furniture building, Amos? What next?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 May 14 - 09:16 PM

You'd only hurt yourself. Probably put an eye out or something.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 May 14 - 06:04 PM

The robins are singing that song! The eggs are in the nest! They will now trill their song to imprint their young with their trill over and over and fuckin over... all fuckin day and night... incessantly... the little fuckers won't even eat... just trill... trill... trill. Oh joyous spring. I need a chainsaw.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 May 14 - 10:24 AM

I'd like a liter of Pusser's Admiral's rum and a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 01 May 14 - 07:52 AM

Re drinks- I will provide at the next Getaway I get to ( should be there this year), just send me your reasonable requests.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 May 14 - 07:04 AM

Okay.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 11:10 PM

Bruce:

That's the best thing I've seen from you! Good job.

SO friends, and neighbors, sons and daughters of Mom, what is it to be? Are we grinders in an endless mill of mere numbers? Or do we dare to break the patterns that enchain us and step forth unafraid to claim our true natures as ARTISTS OF BS! Onward, upward, into the very flaming maw of the Universe herself, holding high the pennon of True BS! Onward! For Glory! Fort something to do! For MOM!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 10:23 PM

I'll drink to that. Indeed! Well done, bb.

Stiff Snarple fer me if yer buyin.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 10:08 PM

Oh, yeah. You have to buy the drinks.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 10:02 PM

Who knew . . .

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 09:26 PM

Most excellent! And congratulations -- you're now a bona-fide Childe Of MOAB.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 03:39 PM

by me!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 03:38 PM

OK, I will push it up so that 50505 can be claimed…





Sonnet 04/01/05                        CMLXVIII

In every thread someone has to be last,
Though we may trade places in patterned dance.
Each one may lead, then follow: Thoughts are cast
On screen to with all others take their chance.
Come join the waltz of thousand partners: Share
Some moments with a varied crowd, or learn
Of osprey nest, or Bob. Each of us care
Enough that we to this mad dance return.
Each of us add to tune, and join in chords
That sweep across our posts: We fill the time
With what investment each of us affords.
It is just journey that gives cause to climb.
As we give, so shall each some gift receive,
And only for those gone shall we yet grieve.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 02:13 PM

I know, but I shall let another take it. Ebbie perhaps, or even Amos, as I can be merciful as well as just. I know this, for many people have said, "Mercy, it's just you!"

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 12:46 PM

Plumb fergot ta mention... Get ready, Rap. Only 3 more posts.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 12:41 PM

I'd vote for a show of hands on that. Are we quorate or prostrate? On the other hand, if we are prostate, I wanna be able to see all hands at all times so stick em up!

Rap... Mom's bit bucket time was 22:13 MCT so she was just fine. No need a getting yer hose in a bunch.

Mama's don't let yer babies grow up ta be coders
Don't let em key in data for yuppie bucks
Make em be sangers and twangers n such

Apologies to... ah... er... you know... that guy that smokes a lotta weed and looks likes he needs to vacuumed... you knoooow. William sumpin?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 12:27 PM

Good one, Rap. Send a copy of it to Max.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 11:26 AM

Life must go on, my friend, with or without us, upwards or downwards. The first rule is, "There Shall Be a Show".

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 14 - 10:23 AM

Disgusting. Mom at the very, very bottom, all too soon to vanish into Max's Great Bit Bucket.

That did it. Oh no.

An old programmer went 'boarding out one dark and windy day
Upon a tube he rested as he went along his way
When all at once a mighty bunch of ancient code he saw
Flowin' through the ragged cards and up a cloudy draw.

Their bytes were still on fire and their holes were punched by steel
Their IBMs were black and shiny and their hot chads he could feel
A bolt of fear went through him as they fluttered through the sky
For he saw the coders comin' hard and he heard their mournful cries

Yippie i ohhh
Yippie i aye
Bit buckets in the sky

Their faces pale, their eyes were glazed
Their tee shirts soaked with sweat
They're tryin' hard to catch those cards
But they ain't caught 'em yet
Cause they got to write code forever on that 360 in the sky
On Hollerith decks a-jammin' they raise their mournful cries.

(Chorus)

As the coders punched on by him he heard one call his name
'If you wanna save your soul from Hell a-codin' in Fortran
Then coder change your ways today or with us you will code
Tryin to hack the devil's code across these endless cards."

Chorus ad nauseam.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 14 - 10:13 PM

Daily I arise from a bed of excruciating pain and using every piece of furniture for assistance work my way to the bathroom for more pain medications. After managing to get back in bed I wait an hour or so for the meds to kick in and then I work my way to the kitchen for breakfast. Then I dab at my body with a sponge in an attempt to bathe and then fall back in bed to recover enough energy to brush my teeth. I dress -- slowly and painfully -- and then go down to the Elks Lodge for coffee or out to collect the mail at the PO. I drive, of course, and I have to work the clutch in the car with my stick instead of my left leg. My life is painful and sometimes I pass out from the pain but I know that pain is only the weakness coming out and that whatever doesn't kill me only makes me stronger and if there is no pain there is no gain.

So I bear up as best I can in the face of great difficulties and will, with the help of my walking stick, eventually again be able to resume an abnormal life.


(I'm doing okay. Don't believe the guy who wrote the above.)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Apr 14 - 09:39 PM

I think she means physically unassisted.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 29 Apr 14 - 05:35 PM

How are you these days, Rap? Up and walking around unassisted?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 14 - 10:09 AM

Have a drink, and I don't mean tea.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Apr 14 - 07:19 AM

Sanmerci... new to me.