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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Bee-dubya-ell 28 Aug 18 - 09:14 PM
Little Hawk 28 Aug 18 - 08:47 PM
Donuel 28 Aug 18 - 05:58 PM
Donuel 28 Aug 18 - 05:39 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 28 Aug 18 - 01:41 PM
Amos 28 Aug 18 - 12:22 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 27 Aug 18 - 11:40 PM
Rapparee 27 Aug 18 - 10:04 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 26 Aug 18 - 10:55 PM
Little Hawk 26 Aug 18 - 10:38 PM
Rapparee 26 Aug 18 - 10:35 PM
Little Hawk 26 Aug 18 - 03:15 PM
Rapparee 25 Aug 18 - 10:20 PM
Stilly River Sage 25 Aug 18 - 01:03 PM
keberoxu 25 Aug 18 - 12:20 PM
Donuel 25 Aug 18 - 07:44 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 24 Aug 18 - 10:32 PM
Rapparee 24 Aug 18 - 09:04 PM
keberoxu 24 Aug 18 - 03:35 PM
Little Hawk 24 Aug 18 - 12:13 AM
Rapparee 23 Aug 18 - 09:40 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 22 Aug 18 - 11:59 PM
Little Hawk 22 Aug 18 - 05:34 PM
Rapparee 22 Aug 18 - 03:48 PM
Rapparee 22 Aug 18 - 03:46 PM
Little Hawk 22 Aug 18 - 03:03 PM
keberoxu 22 Aug 18 - 02:52 PM
Stilly River Sage 22 Aug 18 - 02:50 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 22 Aug 18 - 12:47 PM
Little Hawk 22 Aug 18 - 11:16 AM
Donuel 22 Aug 18 - 08:48 AM
Donuel 22 Aug 18 - 07:00 AM
Amos 22 Aug 18 - 12:01 AM
Rapparee 21 Aug 18 - 07:45 PM
Stilly River Sage 21 Aug 18 - 10:35 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Aug 18 - 09:16 AM
Donuel 21 Aug 18 - 07:37 AM
Stilly River Sage 20 Aug 18 - 11:33 PM
Amos 20 Aug 18 - 10:59 PM
Rapparee 20 Aug 18 - 09:19 PM
Donuel 20 Aug 18 - 08:46 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Aug 18 - 06:56 PM
Donuel 20 Aug 18 - 02:10 PM
Little Hawk 19 Aug 18 - 10:02 PM
Rapparee 19 Aug 18 - 09:08 PM
Little Hawk 19 Aug 18 - 03:01 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 19 Aug 18 - 01:40 PM
Donuel 19 Aug 18 - 11:55 AM
Little Hawk 19 Aug 18 - 12:57 AM
Rapparee 18 Aug 18 - 10:26 PM

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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Aug 18 - 09:14 PM

More Chimps are now in sanctuaries than research labs.

And the number of chimps in sanctuaries pales in comparison with the number in bars, bordellos, and bookie joints.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Aug 18 - 08:47 PM

Yes! Chongo's efforts to end specism in America are bearing fruit, you might say. It's quite encouraging. Still, the forces marshaled against him cannot be taken lightly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 28 Aug 18 - 05:58 PM

LH thought you'd like to know we have reached a tipping point in the US. More Chimps are now in sanctuaries than research labs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 28 Aug 18 - 05:39 PM

Spoken english is far more abbreviated and contracted than we realize. We just don't choose to hear it. I hear it. 'imga' means "I am going to..."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Aug 18 - 01:41 PM

Non a circuitu hic, agis?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Aug 18 - 12:22 PM

And being from "around here" is the South's summum bonum and sine qua non to boot.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Aug 18 - 11:40 PM

Over the last 50 years or so, "you guys" has gradually worked its way into the southern vernacular. It's as common as "y'all" in many areas. But "youse" or "youse guys" still elicits the dreaded "Ya ain't from around here, are ya?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Aug 18 - 10:04 PM

57775.

What you mean, "no youse"? I grew up using "youse" and "y'all" and "dis" and "dat" and "dem" and "dese" and "doze". We'd say something like, "Hey, youse guys! Don't go throwin' dem apples at Miz Hogue's house! Y'all'll git yer tails kicked up tween yer shoulder blades!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Aug 18 - 10:55 PM

"I tried and I tried, but it ain't no youse."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Aug 18 - 10:38 PM

Maybe so...but "youse" still can't match Shane in that.

(Note: The term "youse" is Shanese for "y'all" or "you people"...no racism intended!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Aug 18 - 10:35 PM

Pretty damned low. Negative infinity.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Aug 18 - 03:15 PM

Just how high do you think your standards are?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Aug 18 - 10:20 PM

That's the trouble with those s******* countries! They just aren't up to our standards.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 25 Aug 18 - 01:03 PM

It's always something.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 25 Aug 18 - 12:20 PM

The power is out at night? Bummer.
Come back safely when you return.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 25 Aug 18 - 07:44 AM

Rap is right, but powered para gliding is the ultimate wind surfing and more reliable than wave surfing. Its been 20 years since I dodged a bullet when I parachuted beneath a Chinook 17B Coast Guard helicopter.Ugh never again.
This storm doesn't compare to Harvey which had twice the rain, but it stinks in town. My rip stop Mylar glider is ideal for these wet conditions. The biggest challenge is landing away from raging water. Its everywhere. ;^/
Then there is the inconvenient power outage at night. Can't post.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Aug 18 - 10:32 PM

Why did Donuel pick this moment to take a plane to Hawaii??

Mostly because it's a bit difficult to get there by train.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Aug 18 - 09:04 PM

His hobby is parachuting into hurricanes. I thought everyone knew that. He's a world-renowned expert in that field. He's jumped all of the big ones, starting with Hurricanes Ethel and Thelma (the ones that merged) back in 1953. He was a Hurricane Jumper for the Coast Guard then.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 24 Aug 18 - 03:35 PM

Why did Donuel pick this moment to take a plane to Hawaii??


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Aug 18 - 12:13 AM

Between that, the police keeping tabs on him, and the Greys monitoring his every move, Shane is attracting an amount of attention that can only be matched by luminaries like Bob Dylan and Donald Trump. I'm afraid it could go to his head.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Aug 18 - 09:40 PM

Yeah, it would really be deep and pervasive. Although, with Shame, it's deep and pervasive now. I understand that a hazmat team follows him and a regional unit is on permanent standby.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Aug 18 - 11:59 PM

In the aftermath of a Hurricane Shane, instead of the highways being crowded with convoys of utility and tree service trucks, they'd be slammed with huge flotillas of septic tank pumper trucks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Aug 18 - 05:34 PM

Yes, isn't it? The emergency aid organizations would truly have their hands full.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Aug 18 - 03:48 PM

LH, that is quite an image, Shame hitting the fan like you describe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Aug 18 - 03:46 PM

The original of Amos' "aroint" is, of course, from Billy Bob Shakespeare. It is said by the First Witch (Macbeth, Act 1, Scene 3, I believe) and goes "“Aroint thee, witch!” the rump-fed runnion cries." I've met Amos and unless he's changed mightily he isn't rump or any other way fed. He's a trim sort, even ,he can't play a brass instrument. He's of Olde Newe Englande stock, too, and not at all ditch-delivered by a drab.    He is not fop nor coxcomb, nor one o'er awed by himself. Indeed, he is a normal, middling, gray sort of person who, trudging along, never deviates from the well-traveled path and raises his glass and drinks to the status quo.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Aug 18 - 03:03 PM

"Hurricane Shane"! Imagine what a bad storm that one would be. The shit would truly hit the fan when Hurricane Shane made its landfall.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 22 Aug 18 - 02:52 PM

and we still haven't got to grips with Hurricane Maria from last year.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 22 Aug 18 - 02:50 PM

They're busy reminiscing about last year's Harvey down here in Texas.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Aug 18 - 12:47 PM

I certainly hope Hurricane Lane doesn't interfere with Donuel's vacation plans. Otherwise, we'll be forced to write a song about it.

Let's see... What else rhymes with hurricane and Lane?   Oh!!!   I know!!!   Shane!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Aug 18 - 11:16 AM

"Aroint"! Wow. Another great word to add to my Arcane Dictionary of Seldom Heard Words and Phrases. Thanks, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 22 Aug 18 - 08:48 AM

WOO hoo our flight got bumped up to tommorrow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 22 Aug 18 - 07:00 AM

With all the record rain and flash floods HERE , I am going to Hawaii next week for nothing but SUNSHINE 8^/
No need to check the weather report there


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Aug 18 - 12:01 AM

Master deceiver, you fool me not; your evasion and scurrilous dodgery does not change the point, or the facts. Aroint, and get thee to a monastery!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Aug 18 - 07:45 PM

We had a bad water hammer that was cured by putting on a pressure reduction device and slow-closing valve.

Amos, drawing spiritual power and thought from the Earth and things of the Earth is very ancient. I have within hand's grip an Icelandic crystal which can, when used correctly, find the Sun on cloudy day and hence North. There is the fossil of an ammonite, a creature which died and was turned to stone sometime between now and the Devonian age and which Pliny the Elder (d. AD 79) named. There is iron pyrite, from which a fire can be struck. You can, I think, understand why these among others were held in awe by people in the past.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 21 Aug 18 - 10:35 AM

I spent an hour running back and forth to the street gate valve and to all of the spigots and devices in the house (don't forget to run the washer so that spigot gets opened). It was a combination of an "air hammer" and really high pressure from the village (I'm at the bottom of a hill). I finally drained the air out of the lines in the correct order and the public works guy brought over a gauge to test the pressure. I get 70 pounds while most of the village gets the standard 40 pounds. I have my gate valve turned about 1/3 of the way closed to remedy the vibration that the pressure causes. Turns out the next door neighbors have been doing this for a couple of years.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Aug 18 - 09:16 AM

Speaking of strange noises, the sound my coffeemaker makes while brewing has recently changed. I finally figured out that it's because I changed coffees from Colombian to Kenyan. Instead of gurgling in Spanish, it's now gurgling in Swahili.

Next time I need coffee, I'm gonna buy some Kona and see if it'll gurgle in Hawaiian.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 21 Aug 18 - 07:37 AM

Is it a rattling or a groan?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 20 Aug 18 - 11:33 PM

Speaking of leaky plumbing. . . I need to call a plumber tomorrow because the water into the house is making a strange noise.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 18 - 10:59 PM

Substituting mineral rights for spiritual powers sums the whole problem up in a nutshell, Mister R.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Aug 18 - 09:19 PM

Why not spit? Or blood? Or lymph? Or pus? Or hmmmm....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 20 Aug 18 - 08:46 PM

Semen is a remarkable stiffening agent. In the Renaissance many masterpieces used protein from eggs (tempera) as a permanent paint. On the other hand, the egg's counterpart has been found in D'Vinci masterpieces. Cracking the genetic code of certain artists is now being undertaken. Some researchers suggest the reason for Mona Lisa's smile is this bodily fluid.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Aug 18 - 06:56 PM

The ability of a pair of briefs or boxers to stand by themselves is due to a wide variety of dried bodily emissions, not strictly those of a scatological nature. While Shane may know "all there is to know about "fillin' yer briefs", it's the leftovers from his frequent visits with certain Internet sites that give those briefs their unique rigidity.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 20 Aug 18 - 02:10 PM

Cletus Sprucker finds this scatological crap beneath you all.
Its not even yours!?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Aug 18 - 10:02 PM

The McBrides always instinctively know when it's time to make a quick "strategic withdrawal" in order to find a more advantageous tactical position.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Aug 18 - 09:08 PM

Yeah, I understand he visited here and was so frightened he filled his briefs front and back. It was my neighbor Katie who did it. She'll be four in December; she pulled out her green-and-orange water gun and Shame beat feet outa here. I came out of the house to see what was going on and it was then that his clothing bulged noticeably in the area of his hip pockets. Katie was laughing and pointing to a cloud of dust.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Aug 18 - 03:01 PM

Shane claims to know "all there is to know" about "fillin' yer briefs". (Eh?)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Aug 18 - 01:40 PM

Mom!

To get back to the boxers/briefs thing...

How do lawyers go about filing briefs? I tried to file a pair and they just wouldn't hold an edge. I clamped them in a bench vise and used my trusty old Black Diamond mill-bastard file, but all I managed to do was wear a hole in them. Maybe they need to be starched first so they won't be so floppy.

Or maybe I should try an angle grinder instead of a file.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Aug 18 - 11:55 AM

Assuming there were good judgments, specific accusations and actual factual implications in your information you could assume you were perfectly correct again that there are no falsehoods in your profound perception.

Be careful. You may be making Alex and Donald jealous of your astute talent in discovering the truth.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Aug 18 - 12:57 AM

Ah, yes...good point there. It's not a good idea to let Hector Ballsworthy know about anything at all if you don't want it splashed all over the very worst of the British press.

I think you have shown good judgement in this case.

He, by the way, accuses others of being "reptilians", but you are implying that he is one himself! That is most intriguing. You might be onto something there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Aug 18 - 10:26 PM

Amos, I fail to see why my "claim" is problematic. I don't even know what "claim" you are talking about. If it's the one up in the Bitterroots you should know that it's panning out pretty darn good -- gold and silver both assay out in very minable quantities. The one down in the Uintas does pretty well for copper, and the one down in the Mongolon Rim runs okay (but not great) for uranium. I've got another up near the Montana border I'm hoping will work out for diamonds, but since it's not ready for announcement yet I'm keeping a lid on where it is exactly. But all the claims are properly registered and if I catch any claim jumpers, well, half-inch hemp or 405 grains of lead are pretty good problem solvers. But drop around when you're feeling up to it and I'll even let you, you old hard rock miner, blow a few charges.

LH, the reason I haven't mentioned "Bad Penny" Rutledge and Corridus is because I haven't wanted to let whats-his-name, that oily reptilian reporter -- Ballsworthy! that's it -- find out about the happy couple's nuptials.


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