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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 01 Nov 09 - 06:11 PM
Ed T 01 Nov 09 - 06:10 PM
Ed T 01 Nov 09 - 06:04 PM
Little Hawk 01 Nov 09 - 06:02 PM
Amos 01 Nov 09 - 05:50 PM
Rapparee 01 Nov 09 - 05:39 PM
Stilly River Sage 01 Nov 09 - 05:29 PM
Stilly River Sage 01 Nov 09 - 05:03 PM
Little Hawk 01 Nov 09 - 02:22 PM
Janie 01 Nov 09 - 02:11 PM
Amos 01 Nov 09 - 01:54 PM
Little Hawk 01 Nov 09 - 01:28 PM
Stilly River Sage 01 Nov 09 - 12:20 PM
Ed T 01 Nov 09 - 11:32 AM
Amos 01 Nov 09 - 11:09 AM
Ed T 01 Nov 09 - 10:30 AM
Ed T 01 Nov 09 - 10:20 AM
Amos 01 Nov 09 - 09:59 AM
Ed T 01 Nov 09 - 09:43 AM
Ed T 01 Nov 09 - 09:22 AM
Ed T 31 Oct 09 - 11:55 PM
Ed T 31 Oct 09 - 11:45 PM
Janie 31 Oct 09 - 11:12 PM
Rapparee 31 Oct 09 - 10:39 PM
Janie 31 Oct 09 - 08:26 PM
Janie 31 Oct 09 - 08:16 PM
Ed T 31 Oct 09 - 07:59 PM
Amos 31 Oct 09 - 07:53 PM
Ed T 31 Oct 09 - 07:08 PM
Ed T 31 Oct 09 - 07:06 PM
Amos 31 Oct 09 - 07:04 PM
Ed T 31 Oct 09 - 06:10 PM
Ed T 31 Oct 09 - 04:45 PM
Little Hawk 31 Oct 09 - 04:18 PM
Ed T 31 Oct 09 - 03:54 PM
Janie 31 Oct 09 - 03:53 PM
Ed T 31 Oct 09 - 03:51 PM
Rapparee 31 Oct 09 - 03:42 PM
Ed T 31 Oct 09 - 03:23 PM
Ed T 31 Oct 09 - 03:15 PM
VirginiaTam 31 Oct 09 - 03:13 PM
VirginiaTam 31 Oct 09 - 02:57 PM
GUEST,Rapaire 31 Oct 09 - 02:44 PM
Ed T 31 Oct 09 - 02:24 PM
Rapparee 31 Oct 09 - 02:20 PM
VirginiaTam 31 Oct 09 - 02:02 PM
Amos 31 Oct 09 - 01:56 PM
Janie 31 Oct 09 - 01:56 PM
Rapparee 31 Oct 09 - 01:54 PM
Janie 31 Oct 09 - 01:53 PM

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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Nov 09 - 06:11 PM

Little Hawk, you condescending smarmy mouthed mongrel-bait:

Rapaire himself has taken me to task. But you have not been educated in the fundamentals of language. They are agreed-upon by necessity.

What Rapaire wants to do is the equivalent of naming your son "Asshole" but telling everyone you want it pronounced "Benjamin". I am not being obstreperous; rather, it is he who is being obstreperous, contrary minded, and mule like. And, in your fit of artificial superiority sans merit, your good self as well.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 01 Nov 09 - 06:10 PM

Actually, I like it better. Thanks

( Though it may suggest an addition to atmospheric carbon, and thus climate change).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 01 Nov 09 - 06:04 PM

Sorry Rapaire, you wild Irish plunderer.   No disrespect intended. I have altered the ditty accordingly. ( Hopefully you didn't consider using your rapary on me).

He cowered up, blank thought in mind
In focused bovine rippee
To fix the rhyme he left behind
In much need of rapaire

(Rippee -Flatulates-Burps)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Nov 09 - 06:02 PM

Stubborn as the proverbial mule, aren't you, Amos? I have known for years that Rapaire pronounces his name Rap-a-ree, and I recall informing you of that some time back. Still you insist on pronouncing it your way even after HE tells you how it is pronounced. What cheek! What lack of respect for your fellow man! I must say that you have crossed the line of proper manners on this matter and I, for one, hope that Rapaire gives you the drubbing you so richly deserve. You should be placed in the stocks, there to be spat upon, jeered at, and pummeled with overripe fruit by the idle mob who gather in the marketplace.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Nov 09 - 05:50 PM

He SAYS he wants it pronounced Raparee but he refuses to spell it that way. Obstreperous nincompoop insists it must be spelled RapAYR. As in, "Radiator and transmission RaPAYRE".
Pay him no mind, sirrah. His idle threats will not tell in any way. Being posted as a poltroon by yon typophobe is an honor among men.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Nov 09 - 05:39 PM

It is pronounced "Rap-a-ree", sir. I permit one such slip, on the second you will be asked to defend your besmirchment of my honour with your life or be posted as a poltroon.

We memorized poems. One that we memorized was the last stanza to Bryant's "Thanatopsis":

"...Go not, like the quarry slave at night, scourged to his dungeon,
But sustained and soothed by an unfaltering grace approach thy grave
Like one who wraps the draperies of his couch around him
And lies down to pleasant dreams."

Just the sort of upbeat stuff for 10th graders!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 Nov 09 - 05:29 PM

Thought that sounded funny, and probably a halfway decent freudian slip.

The poem is The New Colossus.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 Nov 09 - 05:03 PM

We had to memorize "The New Lazarus" or whatever is the name of the poem that is exerpted on the Statue of Liberty,

Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.
I lift my lamp, beside the golden door!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Nov 09 - 02:22 PM

Amos, I think I saw it way back then too...and of course I do recall a couple of popular phrases from it that are often quoted, such as: "The best-laid schemes o' mice an' men gang aft a-gley"

Be that as it may, this is the first time in perhaps 45 years or more that I have sat down and read the poem in its entirety, and upon re-acquaintance with it, I'm impressed. It's marvelous. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 01 Nov 09 - 02:11 PM

As best I can remember, the only poem I memorized was "The Highway Man."

Or maybe that was the only poem I had to memorize that I remember?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Nov 09 - 01:54 PM

Hawkster, no offense, but most of us memorized that poem in fifth grade, or maybe seventh...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Nov 09 - 01:28 PM

Ed, that Robert Burns poem about the mouse is a masterpiece! Quite amusing in a way, but it also makes some interesting philosophical points.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 Nov 09 - 12:20 PM

This year I turned off the lights and hid at the back of the house. The one time I turned on lights, to allow my next door neighbor to find her way to my rosemary bush to cut some for the chicken she was roasting, a car pulled up at her house and started to unload kiddos. We had to shout over that no one on our end of the block was doing trick or treat. They loaded up and drove up the block. What ever happened to just walking around in your own neighborhood?

However, were I to do Halloween, I think I'd answer my door as Florence Foster Jenkins. That would scare the bejeezus out of the tots, wouldn't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 01 Nov 09 - 11:32 AM

Brayve Knight, Princess, Oreo
All came to my door
Seeking hollow candy treats
Asking for no more

Flash ahead to Human land
Next day's treat for thee
Returning to a humping hand
The world of reality

Next year go, repeat the scene
Much like Groundhog Day
Escaping to a mystery place
"A princess for a day"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Nov 09 - 11:09 AM

The Great Tragedy of All Hallow's Eve is that so many people invest so much in becoming Someone They Prefer, whether a Princess or an Oreo Cookie or A Brayve Knighte. And then they are lured with sweets into a sugar frenzy unto a deathlike unconsciouness. When they wake up, lo!! Hallow's Day has come, and they are the very same person they were before the whole thing began.

Then they wait a year and do the whole thing over again, like little Hamlet Sisyphi on a turning Hamletster Wheel of Life. Pant, pant,. pant. Strive to Be and fall back. Over and over. I tell you it is a grim scene, and it is a darn good thing we have love, summer and fucking in between, to dull the sharp suffering of this wicked endless loop.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 01 Nov 09 - 10:30 AM

He cowered up, blank thought in mind
In focused bovine stare
To fix the rhyme he left behind
In much need of rapaire


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 01 Nov 09 - 10:20 AM

very assonantal:)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Nov 09 - 09:59 AM

His shots are blank and blank his look.
Blank the expression, blank the book.
Blank is the blanky by his side
Blank is the sky, when out he rides.
And when in town upon mare's shank
The townfolk yell "Blank blankety blank!"
Yet heaven have we still to thank
For this imaginary friend, so blank.
We know him to be safe, our cobber
'Cuz there just aren't any blank robbers.
Harsh words may bring on blows or spanking,
But never just standing there and blanking.
Let us be grateful and give thanks
Our friend's whole life is filled with blanks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 01 Nov 09 - 09:43 AM

Could this finest of rhymers, have had wee too much scotch in his haggis
(crack variety) when he went a ploug'in?

Even Stomp'in Tom didn't ryme that much when " tight" on Skinners Pond 'shine....and, especially not when encountering a mouse. (probably wouldn't have sold many songs with that, matey). Though, Tom likely wouldn't have the guts to eat the foul smell'in stuff.

I have it that William Topaz McGonagall's style was fashoned after Roberts. In fact, I have it that they were cousins....William having been willed a kilt frequently worn by Bobby when plough'in...maybe even encountering a mouse. ( Scotch and haggis drool stains are said to still be on it. But, I can'na reveal me sources, for fear of getting a haggis parcel bomb in the mail).

TO A MOUSE, ON TURNING HER UP IN HER NEST WITH THE PLOUGH, NOVEMBER, 1785 by: Robert Burns

            EE, sleekit, cowrin, tim'rous beastie,
            Oh, what a panic's in thy breastie!
            Thou need na start awa sae hasty,
            Wi' bickering brattle!
            I was be laith to rin an' chase thee,
            Wi' murd'ring pattle!
                              
            I'm truly sorry man's dominion
            Has broken Nature's social union,
            An' justifies that ill opinion
            Which makes thee startle
            At me, thy poor, earth-born companion
            An' fellow-mortal!
         
            I doubt na, whyles, but thou may thieve;
            What then? poor beastie, thou maun live!
            A daimen-icker in a thrave
            'S a sma' request;
            I'll get a blessin wi' the lave,
            And never miss't!
                        
            Thy wee-bit housie, too, in ruin!
            Its silly wa's the win's are strewin!
            An' naething, now, to big a new ane,
            O' foggage green!
            An' bleak December's winds ensuin,
            Baith snell an' keen!
                  
            Thou saw the fields laid bare an' waste,
            An' weary winter comin fast,
            An' cozie here, beneath the blast,
            Thou thought to dwell,
            Till crash! the cruel coulter past
            Out thro' thy cell.
                        
            That wee bit heap o' leaves an stibble,
            Has cost thee mony a weary nibble!
            Now thou's turn'd out, for a' thy trouble,
            But house or hald,
            To thole the winter's sleety dribble,
            An' cranreuch cauld!
            
            But, Mousie, thou art no thy lane,
            In proving foresight may be vain:
            The best-laid schemes o' mice an' men
            Gang aft a-gley,
            An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain,
            For promis'd joy!
                              
            Still thou art blest, compared wi' me!
            The present only toucheth thee:
            But och! I backward cast my e'e,
            On prospects drear!
            An' forward, tho' I cannot see,
            I guess an' fear!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 01 Nov 09 - 09:22 AM

"Get your haggis right here. Chopped heart and lungs boiled in a wee sheep's stomach. Tastes as good as it sounds. Good for what ales you." Groundskeeper Willie, The Simpsons


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 31 Oct 09 - 11:55 PM

Note
Haggis, the poets drug, is a highly refined version of Haggus, that enhanses poetic thought and writing.

Some folks have privately called it "the poets crack". (Not to be confused with the plumbers crack).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 31 Oct 09 - 11:45 PM

Sorry...firing blanks again Rapaire, eh?

In fact, he was a Scot, badly hooked on haggis .... so, his licence was revoked and reissued.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 31 Oct 09 - 11:12 PM

Now Rapaire, you don't have to be noble, but at least be nice until Ed has been thoroughly lured in and entrapped.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Oct 09 - 10:39 PM

That license number was issued to William Topaz McGonagall, rhyme-boy. The GREAT McGonagall, the Bard of Dundee.

The Geheimenpoetrypolizei are coming for you. They are going to hoist you up by your iambs and read you the entire opus of Julia Moore!! Then, when you are a quivering mass of an unsound Alexadrine, they will kick your crambo until the aisling comes out!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 31 Oct 09 - 08:26 PM

Anybody want some candy?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 31 Oct 09 - 08:16 PM

So did my ex-husband, Amos ;^)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 31 Oct 09 - 07:59 PM

One marriage partner in the morning....BLah Blah Blah BLah Blah Blah

The other: uh hum, yes....I agree, OK


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Oct 09 - 07:53 PM

Classic marital quotation of the day:

"Don't you try to blame me, just because I did it!!!"

I love being married, I have to say!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 31 Oct 09 - 07:08 PM

That's a roach clip...of course....I've now turned my poetic settings off.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 31 Oct 09 - 07:06 PM

Dont forget the roac clip...Could come in handy....if the weather turns


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Oct 09 - 07:04 PM

I shall wear a costume tonight. I will disguise myself as an aging slightly overweight Yuppie with Hippie leanings and a hippy profile, too. No-one will ever guess my real identity. MWAhahahahahaha...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 31 Oct 09 - 06:10 PM

Come on now MOABs, no time to rest....its a lng way to 33


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 31 Oct 09 - 04:45 PM

I learned most of my rym'in from listening to radio, this poetic song in particular:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AiLgvK1D-WY&feature=related


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Oct 09 - 04:18 PM

My dog is dressed up as a weenie 365 days a year...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 31 Oct 09 - 03:54 PM

Anyone dressing up as a Weenie on Haloweenie


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 31 Oct 09 - 03:53 PM

Maybe I should dress up as the freds Galactic OverToad tonight to hand out candy.

Whaddayathink, MOM?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 31 Oct 09 - 03:51 PM

I am sorry ,father, for I have sinned.

I did not stay up all night putt'in it together for the 32.
Try and do better next time.

The licence # is OY4U YUR 24A3 34AU   09...Check it out


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Oct 09 - 03:42 PM

Yeah? Let's SEE that license, rhyme-boy. It better be issued by the International Brotherhood of Poets and Other Poverty-Stricken Folks and stand up to the usual tests. Cuz if it don't...you're gonna be strung up by your iambs, capiche?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 31 Oct 09 - 03:23 PM

Poets licence;
(New=knew
Mew=New)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 31 Oct 09 - 03:15 PM

They called them freds
Here in the threads
Where they give you guff 'till ya suffer

When I first posted here
it wasn't smart to be good
So, I posted as bad as I could.

I posted bad typos
With odd blue clinkos
Ignoring unwritten thread 'lore

One called me weird
'Cause just as I feared
Mew folk are suspected as odd

I've been thread-punched by MOAB boys
As , I stole all their joys,
Postin' as much as I could

MOM called me aside
'Cause I was eager inside
to share the web world that I found

I took all their guff
And inside thread stuff
With my faithful chimp at my side

Thread-kicked in the head
I stuck in instead
'Cause I new they weren't better than me

I'm sad and its rough
That you have to be tough
With a gang of MAOB rangytang 'cats

But, stay here I will
Through the good times and swill
And, I like it a lot, as you see

Happy 32, Live to 53


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 31 Oct 09 - 03:13 PM

can't believe someone hasn't put in post

312020

I've been waiting.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 31 Oct 09 - 02:57 PM

I want to be reincarnated in a hunnert years time to see the Ballad of 32 K hailed as a traditional folk song.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 31 Oct 09 - 02:44 PM

But you are ignoring Buffalo, New York.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 31 Oct 09 - 02:24 PM

Buffalo wings....Buffalo's don't have wings, nor do Bison. Sorry to burst your bubble.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Oct 09 - 02:20 PM

Hey, it works for politicians....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 31 Oct 09 - 02:02 PM

WOW! Amos. That's impressive.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Oct 09 - 01:56 PM

And so it begins......



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 31 Oct 09 - 01:56 PM

What? the 32,000th tick off of your dog?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Oct 09 - 01:54 PM

I did it! I got number 32,000! Hurrah for me!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 31 Oct 09 - 01:53 PM

How likely is one to encounter phreds on Halloween night?


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