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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

keberoxu 02 Feb 18 - 12:41 PM
Rapparee 02 Feb 18 - 09:02 AM
gnu 02 Feb 18 - 08:02 AM
Rapparee 01 Feb 18 - 10:51 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 01 Feb 18 - 07:11 AM
Amos 01 Feb 18 - 01:06 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 31 Jan 18 - 04:38 PM
gnu 31 Jan 18 - 04:17 PM
Rapparee 31 Jan 18 - 03:09 PM
keberoxu 31 Jan 18 - 12:05 PM
Rapparee 30 Jan 18 - 01:50 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 30 Jan 18 - 10:52 AM
Rapparee 29 Jan 18 - 09:38 PM
gnu 29 Jan 18 - 08:47 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 29 Jan 18 - 07:53 PM
Rapparee 29 Jan 18 - 10:28 AM
Amos 28 Jan 18 - 08:55 PM
Rapparee 28 Jan 18 - 01:20 PM
gnu 27 Jan 18 - 07:07 PM
Stilly River Sage 27 Jan 18 - 10:04 AM
Donuel 26 Jan 18 - 08:08 PM
Rapparee 25 Jan 18 - 08:40 PM
Donuel 25 Jan 18 - 12:10 PM
Amos 24 Jan 18 - 07:54 PM
Stilly River Sage 23 Jan 18 - 09:58 PM
Rapparee 23 Jan 18 - 09:52 PM
Rapparee 22 Jan 18 - 09:15 PM
Amos 22 Jan 18 - 08:09 PM
Rapparee 22 Jan 18 - 10:25 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Jan 18 - 01:34 PM
Rapparee 20 Jan 18 - 10:31 PM
Stilly River Sage 20 Jan 18 - 07:25 PM
Rapparee 19 Jan 18 - 09:02 AM
Stilly River Sage 19 Jan 18 - 12:44 AM
Rapparee 18 Jan 18 - 08:33 PM
Amos 17 Jan 18 - 10:41 PM
Rapparee 17 Jan 18 - 10:10 AM
Stilly River Sage 15 Jan 18 - 12:20 PM
Stilly River Sage 15 Jan 18 - 10:25 AM
Amos 14 Jan 18 - 11:23 PM
Rapparee 14 Jan 18 - 08:08 PM
keberoxu 14 Jan 18 - 11:35 AM
Stilly River Sage 14 Jan 18 - 11:14 AM
Rapparee 13 Jan 18 - 10:17 PM
Stilly River Sage 13 Jan 18 - 06:22 PM
Stilly River Sage 13 Jan 18 - 10:06 AM
Amos 12 Jan 18 - 11:54 PM
Rapparee 12 Jan 18 - 09:39 PM
Rapparee 12 Jan 18 - 08:49 AM
Rapparee 12 Jan 18 - 08:48 AM

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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 02 Feb 18 - 12:41 PM

Best wishes from me as well, Amos, for a more comfortable week, or weeks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Feb 18 - 09:02 AM

Oh, how I envy you, gnu! Whilst our mountains have much snow, we in the lower altitudes are enjoying the bounty of our palm and banana trees. The "International Portneuf Big Waves" surfing contest started yesterday and town is full of talk about "shredding it" and "cylinder ride" and such. You can't get a mai tai anywhere without running into surferfolk. They run around in their rash guards and surf shorts, buying out all the beer in the stores. How I wish the weather would turn cold -- the skiers at least stay on their mountains!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 Feb 18 - 08:02 AM

Groundhog Day. 2C, rain. So, the little ******* won't see his shadow but when it checks the forecast, it'll sees it's shadow and it'll go back to bed. -19C tonight.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Feb 18 - 10:51 PM

It was indeed a momentous choice!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Feb 18 - 07:11 AM

Amos is right. "Momentous" was an odd word choice. It usually refers to occurrences, not things. The act of rhyming "headed for the deep six" with "circumcising sheep dicks" was a momentous occurrence. The rhyme itself is merely stupendous.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Feb 18 - 01:06 AM

Curious to use the word "momentous" on such tweedy doggerel, but as you wish!

Doing better after a really piss-poor week. Thanks!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jan 18 - 04:38 PM

Hi, Mom! Looking through some old threads, I came upon a song parody I wrote in which I rhymed "headed for the deep six" with "circumcising sheep dicks". I had forgotten about it. Who could imagine coming up with such a momentous rhyme and then forgetting it? It's like Don McClean forgetting he rhymed "American Pie" with "whiskey and rye".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 Jan 18 - 04:17 PM

DON'T steamboat it! Pass it around.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 18 - 03:09 PM

I have finished the power point part of my presentation on "Steamboats and the Opening of the American West."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 31 Jan 18 - 12:05 PM

Okay, MOM, better head back up the steps.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jan 18 - 01:50 PM

Don't store anything flammable or explosive in it. You might forget it's not to be used and cause...problems.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Jan 18 - 10:52 AM

I have decided to save the leaky saucepan and repurpose it as a storage container for something. I'm still waiting for the universe to tell me exactly what that something may be. I suppose I'll have a pile of stuff someday that needs an appropriate container and the universe will say, "REMEMBER THE LEAKY SAUCEPAN YOU ALMOST THREW AWAY!!!!" Exactly like that. All caps with four exclamation points. No smiley faces. It's the way the universe always talks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jan 18 - 09:38 PM

My grandmother raised chickens and butchered her own. She had a plucking fan.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Jan 18 - 08:47 PM

"It's just a fuckin' pan." "It's just a fuckin' pan."???

The least you could do is hang it on the kitchen wall... maybe even frame it. I mean, it served you well all those years. How you could just chuck it in trash is beyond me. Of course, if you don' have a place to hang it, chuck it. It's just a fuckin' pan.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 29 Jan 18 - 07:53 PM

Mom! Disaster has struck! My grits pot has a leak in it! It's a small copper-bottom Revere-Ware sauce pan. My wife had it when we met, 30+ years ago, and she'd picked it up second-hand so there's no telling how old it actually is. At any rate, oxidation has had its evil way with it and eaten a tiny hole in its side. Throwing it in the garbage can was a bit like saying goodbye to an old friend.... No, scratch that. It's just a fuckin' pan. I'll buy another one. Thrift stores are full of 'em.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jan 18 - 10:28 AM

Fer Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jan 18 - 08:55 PM

Steamboating down the Great DIvide. Bulkky on ya! Taxes oh YUCK.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jan 18 - 01:20 PM

Sorry, I've been steamboating and will be steamboating for a while yet. My class on "Steamboats and the American West" is this Friday.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 Jan 18 - 07:07 PM

I am remiss. Not just in this crowd but pretty much in general these days. I echo Acme. As for the rest of you scurvy lot, I just haven't the energy to


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 27 Jan 18 - 10:04 AM

What a year, Amos, and your taxes are going to reflect that last year and this. Moving expenses and medical coverage & procedures. This is why accountants stay in business. I hope you're feeling better by the time you read this!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 26 Jan 18 - 08:08 PM

mama's got a squeezebox daddy doesn't sleep at night...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jan 18 - 08:40 PM

I also want Amos' squeezebox.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 25 Jan 18 - 12:10 PM

Iatro Genesis

In the beginning darkness was upon the face of Amos. Then lord Iatro forbade the fastest growing cells life itself and sent them to the gates of hell spewing the remainder of their waste. Amos said let there be light and the light was good. The remaining fast cells shown brightly on the monitor and could be seen to recede separating good from bad while the music played on.



Rap do you really play banjo or does banjo play you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jan 18 - 07:54 PM

Ah, blessings on your intractable skull, Rapparree! A fond memory of my younger days...

Jaysus, I am going through the bumps and grinds since a long day of chemo on Tuesday. A blend of lassitude, absent-mindedness, upchuckery and unconsciousness. And all iatrogenic! Kinda makes one suspicious of the medical business, somehow--or at least the pharmaceutical industry.

I am hoping to be better tomorrow, as I am supposed to play a restaurant gig that evening.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 23 Jan 18 - 09:58 PM

Thanks, Rap. That's a favorite. I think I heard Sam Hinton sing it, and also Ed McCurdy. Good company.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jan 18 - 09:52 PM

Here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jan 18 - 09:15 PM

You gonna get away to Getaway this year, Amos? If not, can I have your banjo?

Amos wasn't in Mom's beer. He was in her whiskey.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jan 18 - 08:09 PM

WUZ NOT!!!!



Rapp is succumbing to delusions imposed by waves of self-wrought shame. I was not in any beer. In fact I was into the gemcitabine and the pembrolizumab with a touch of cisplatin for nightcaps.

If I survive, he will regret mocking my tribulations and my noble sacrifice for the glory of Science, yes he will. You betchum.

And if I don't, double woes be his'n!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jan 18 - 10:25 AM

MOM! WAKE UP! AMOS IS IN YOUR BEER AGAIN!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Jan 18 - 01:34 PM

Hi, Mom!

I just installed a new bathroom sink faucet. Unbeknown to me, I purchased a model with an LED embedded in its spout. So, a blue light comes on when the water is turned on. It's like a miniature blue spotlight that shines on the bottom of the sink. I am at a total loss as to what useful function this feature serves. My wife says it's "sexy". I don't think so. To me, a sexy faucet would be one that projects an image of a dancing Hula girl onto the sink bottom. Such a faucet would also have a public health benefit as it would likely encourage most men to brush their teeth longer and more often.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jan 18 - 10:31 PM

Give her deviled eggs instead of rocks. That way they're soft. Or marshmallows.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 20 Jan 18 - 07:25 PM

MOM went for a walk with us this evening - I finally handed her both dog leashes to keep her hands busy to keep her from throwing rocks at passing cars.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jan 18 - 09:02 AM

Can I send you a, like, pair of bell bottoms and like a tie-dyed tee shirt, ya know? And some Jesus sneakers? And beads. Man, ya gotta have beads!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 19 Jan 18 - 12:44 AM

Amos, I've logged on through CaringBridge and will try to mind my Ps and Qs and not let MOM's nonsense flood those pages. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jan 18 - 08:33 PM

Wow, drugs, man! It's like, you know, like Woodstock or something. Like peace and flowers and butterflies and love, ya know?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jan 18 - 10:41 PM

Thanks, Maggie. I have a regular update site on CaringBridge for those who want to keep up with my slow adventure. Otherwise I can be satisfied with my fellow sibs here and the word-of-mouth set.

The sudden onslaught of ten inches of snow (a rare event in North Carolina!) has canceled everything planned for tomorrow, so I have to wait for rescheduling before the next infusion of poisonous chemicals. Will advise!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jan 18 - 10:10 AM

So near! Yet I came, galloping upon my white charger, lance and sword ready to do battle for Mom! Gallantly I slew three dragons, five giants, and a baby skunk! Mom is again Number One, at least for now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 15 Jan 18 - 12:20 PM

So, I went back and read the last couple of pages of Jane's Rainbow, that's way advanced stuff beyond what you're doing now, Amos. Never mind that part of the recommendation, you don't belong over there for a long, long time. None of us do. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 15 Jan 18 - 10:25 AM

Amos, when Lily Festre was participating in one of our declutter threads eight or nine years ago (thank you, Katlaughing!) she was diagnosed with cancer. We talked about it for a while in that thread before she created a new thread to discuss it, and months, or perhaps a year later when she was over all of the surgeries, the chemo, and had some good follow up tests (and remarkably, during that time their request to become adoptive parents was fulfilled!) I printed the whole thing and had it bound and mailed it to her. It was a remarkable period of her learning about herself, her relationships with others, and incredible personal growth - something worthy of it's own thread.

If you want to stay out of the mainstream, then MOAB is the place, people fear this lengthy Mother, but I'm giving you fair warning that I'm not printing the entire Mother of all BS thread if this topic is discussed here exclusively. It would break the bank, and the printers would never let me darken their door again. ;-) There's also Jane's Rainbow, where they would probably like to hear what you're doing and could actually offer useful "surviving cancer" tips and observations. You'll find our fellow MOABites Rap and gnu are regular contributors in that domain.

I want to follow your progress, but if you ever want a record to look back on, you'll never find the posts here in MOAB in a logical manner even with a keyword search.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jan 18 - 11:23 PM

Just when we thought we had escaped the cruel clutches of heartless Winter, the balmy day vanishes and another fucking freeze sets in, colder than a prom queen's heart. I swan. In another week we shall again be visited by the Balm of Tantalus, but who is to say whether it will last? I am past putting my trust in the words of Weathermen.

In other news I am forging through strange literary corners like "Shock" by Suzanne Somers, and "Outsmart Your Cancer" ( promoting alternative therapies), and scheduling my next battle with the Super Chemical Battalion. So far, I have stood tall, bloody but unbowed. We shall see.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jan 18 - 08:08 PM

I's 30 here at the moment. Got up in the 40s today. Of course, some folks like to live where it's cold, I guess.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 14 Jan 18 - 11:35 AM

Must be effing cold from Texas to Massachusetts, then,
because everything is frozen solid here, as well.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 14 Jan 18 - 11:14 AM

Effing cold is predicted here tonight again. MOM got out her knit comforters and left one in every room.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jan 18 - 10:17 PM

Mom keeps singing one line over and over: "Bottle of wine, fruit of the vine, when you gonna let me get sober?" I'm not quite sure what all that means.

From whom, Amos, do you think the Lomaxes got the song? Accusing me of plagarism when those two were walking around unjailed! Humph!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 13 Jan 18 - 06:22 PM

Lentil soup simmering on the stove, a warm friendly dog hunkered down beside my computer chair. He occasionally stands up and offers a kiss. Part of his friendliness was to alert me to the fact that it was dinnertime for dogs. MOM's in her room, not sure what she's doing but the radio's on pretty loud. I think she might be working out to rock 'n roll songs from the 1970s.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 13 Jan 18 - 10:06 AM

How's it going in the frigid north, Gnu? Are all systems (heat, power, water) working and I hope your mother is comfortable.

What a winter. That deer hunt poem of Rap's sounds like Robert Service-envy.

Now Sam McGee was from Tennessee,
where the cotton blooms and blows
Why he left his home in the South to roam
'round the Pole, God only knows.
He was always cold but the land of gold
seemed to hold him like a spell;
Though he'd often say in his homely way
that he'd sooner live in Hell.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jan 18 - 11:54 PM

It is called "A Deer Hunt", and was collected by the Lomaxes and published in a book long ago in 1922: Cowboy Songs, and Other Frontier Ballads
By John Avery Lomax & Alan Lomax. (MacMillan Company)

But if you want to believe Rapp wrote it, why feel free. I don't mind.

Maybe the Lomaxes lifted it from him like they tried to lift "Knots in the Devil's Tail" from Ile Gardner.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jan 18 - 09:39 PM

Okay, gnu, this is a poem about my last deer hunt. I just wrote it.


One pleasant summer day it came a storm of snow;
I picked my old gun and a-hunting I did go.

I came across a herd of deer and I trailed them through the snow,
I trailed them to the mountains where straight up they did go.

I trailed them o'er the mountains, I trailed them to the brim,
And I trailed them to the waters where they jumped in to swim.

I cocked both my pistols and under water went,
To kill the fattest of them deer, that was my whole intent.

While I was under water five hundred feet or more
I fired both my pistols; like cannons did they roar.

I picked up my venison and out of water came,
To kill the balance of them deer, I thought it would be fun.

So I bent my gun in circles and fired round a hill.
And, out of three or four deer, ten thousand I did kill.

Then I picked up my venison and on my back I tied
And as the sun came passing by I hopped up there to ride.

The sun she carried me o'er the globe, so merrily I did roam
That in four and twenty hours I landed safe at home.

And the money I received for my venison and skin,
I taken it all to the barn door and it would not all go in.

And if you doubt the truth of this I tell you how to know:
Just take my trail and go my rounds, as I did, long ago.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jan 18 - 08:49 AM

The exact quote is:

Shared pain is lessened.
Shared joy is increased.
Thus we refute entropy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jan 18 - 08:48 AM

From my wife's several experiences with Big C:

Laugh. At it, and everything associated with it, and with others.

"Shared joy is increased, and shared pain is lessened."
                         -- Mike Callahan


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