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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Stilly River Sage 01 Sep 18 - 02:05 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 31 Aug 18 - 11:46 PM
Little Hawk 31 Aug 18 - 10:59 PM
Donuel 31 Aug 18 - 10:07 PM
Rapparee 31 Aug 18 - 10:00 PM
gnu 31 Aug 18 - 09:56 PM
Little Hawk 31 Aug 18 - 11:13 AM
Rapparee 30 Aug 18 - 09:59 PM
Little Hawk 30 Aug 18 - 03:10 PM
Little Hawk 30 Aug 18 - 11:12 AM
Rapparee 29 Aug 18 - 09:02 PM
Rapparee 28 Aug 18 - 09:42 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 28 Aug 18 - 09:14 PM
Little Hawk 28 Aug 18 - 08:47 PM
Donuel 28 Aug 18 - 05:58 PM
Donuel 28 Aug 18 - 05:39 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 28 Aug 18 - 01:41 PM
Amos 28 Aug 18 - 12:22 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 27 Aug 18 - 11:40 PM
Rapparee 27 Aug 18 - 10:04 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 26 Aug 18 - 10:55 PM
Little Hawk 26 Aug 18 - 10:38 PM
Rapparee 26 Aug 18 - 10:35 PM
Little Hawk 26 Aug 18 - 03:15 PM
Rapparee 25 Aug 18 - 10:20 PM
Stilly River Sage 25 Aug 18 - 01:03 PM
keberoxu 25 Aug 18 - 12:20 PM
Donuel 25 Aug 18 - 07:44 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 24 Aug 18 - 10:32 PM
Rapparee 24 Aug 18 - 09:04 PM
keberoxu 24 Aug 18 - 03:35 PM
Little Hawk 24 Aug 18 - 12:13 AM
Rapparee 23 Aug 18 - 09:40 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 22 Aug 18 - 11:59 PM
Little Hawk 22 Aug 18 - 05:34 PM
Rapparee 22 Aug 18 - 03:48 PM
Rapparee 22 Aug 18 - 03:46 PM
Little Hawk 22 Aug 18 - 03:03 PM
keberoxu 22 Aug 18 - 02:52 PM
Stilly River Sage 22 Aug 18 - 02:50 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 22 Aug 18 - 12:47 PM
Little Hawk 22 Aug 18 - 11:16 AM
Donuel 22 Aug 18 - 08:48 AM
Donuel 22 Aug 18 - 07:00 AM
Amos 22 Aug 18 - 12:01 AM
Rapparee 21 Aug 18 - 07:45 PM
Stilly River Sage 21 Aug 18 - 10:35 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Aug 18 - 09:16 AM
Donuel 21 Aug 18 - 07:37 AM
Stilly River Sage 20 Aug 18 - 11:33 PM

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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 Sep 18 - 02:05 PM

Hey, MOM! I'm retired. I picked up my tea mug and phone charger and walked away from a job that had become pretty darned awful (though most of the people were very nice). Now I need to do something else to make a living, but with less stress, I'll have the health to actually do another job.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Aug 18 - 11:46 PM

Osibili, si ergo.
Fortibusis en ero.
Nobili, demis trux.
Si wats enim, kowz indux.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Aug 18 - 10:59 PM

Et moneo ut semper Abstinentia intrant in vitam, ita ipsum eripere e sub peccato. Sed pariter animi necessaria cessatione fabulas de iniusta tibi Chongo, Lucius pia Penelope lustris Rutledge et Corridus.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 31 Aug 18 - 10:07 PM

Rap as the tale is retold over the years it may be called the great Jake fire. It is a classic VFW tale if I ever heard one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Aug 18 - 10:00 PM

Ita, quod est verum. Propterea ortor te ad vitam contemplativam tendatur, ita orationis et poenitentiae, forsitan aget anno uno mundo procul ac perturbationibus suis et supra, de columna in desertum.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 Aug 18 - 09:56 PM

Oh... knock that shit off eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Aug 18 - 11:13 AM

Stultus omnia inutilis ratiocinari quid cui non loquitur. Tales homines relinquendus. Et digna tamen nihil minatur.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Aug 18 - 09:59 PM

Heavens! Penelope Rutledge and Corridus broke up yesterday! She took her Silver Cloud and went home, Corridus just ran around in his wheel. Hector Worthballsy, the local reporter for the London Morning Whitesheet (know as the London Morning Wipesheet, of course) broke the story. As we all know, when Bad Penny took up with Corridus her family disinherited her -- shall they take her back into their circle? And does she, as they say around there, "have a muffin in the oven"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Aug 18 - 03:10 PM

But fear not! After a brief time set aside for recovery from reading Rap's last 2 posts, I shall return to regale you all with further brilliant commentary and incisive criticism.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Aug 18 - 11:12 AM

I am just shaking my head here. Words fail me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Aug 18 - 09:02 PM

It happened that last night a wildfire came into town (without even knocking!) and threatened the Legion Hovel. First the place filled with smoke but since it's always filled with smoke (bad flue, bad kitchen practices) nobody noticed. When the bottles behind the bar started to explode people DID notice. Fats Slim was so impressed that he ordered "a pitcher of whatever's in them there bottles". The door suddenly flew open and Jake ran in yelling, "Fire! It's all around us!" and some of the boys and girls ran for marshmallows. Most, however, glanced out the door and windows and saw the flames. They immediately sprang into action, throwing their drinks on the fire and that, of course, only caused more fire. Then the fire extinguishers were used to no avail. Finally someone remembered the old cistern under the building and they started dropping hoses down the access hatch and hooking them up to hand pumps. The nozzles were played over the base of the flames and they roared higher that ever! It seems like back during what is called "The Terrible Awful Time" in the Legion and Prohibition by everyone else the 12,500 gallon underground tank had be filled with high proof "stuff" and it was feeding the fire rather than quelling it! The Hovel was in danger, as the sprinkler system is fed from the cistern! But the Luck of the Legion held, as the liquor being sprayed created a zone of no fuel and the fire burned itself out with only very minor damage to the Hovel and its grounds.

The same cannot be said of the Legionnaires, most of whom were found sucking up the runoff in the gutters with straws. As a side note, the Legion Hovel is doing away with plastic straws on September 1 -- not only will the supply be exhausted by then, but also they will be replaced with what has been called by the Council of Elders and Suchlike "a nice surprise." Speculation is rampant.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Aug 18 - 09:42 PM

Yes, most sanctuaries fatten them up for political banquets. Chongx should do something about that, but it won't happen. Old Man Pliny best described Chongx when he said of him, "Disputatio nihil nisi vana" and "Nusquam mentionem memoriamque omnem actionem." Old Man Pliny, if you don't know, was the organ grinder Chongx worked for when first arrived in the US. C. embezzled all the poor old man's money AND stole the music box so s/he could enslave a rhesus monkey to abase himself for C.'s enrichment. Old Man Pliny and his wife developed consumption because they had to move into a drafty tenement after the theft and their bodies were found, malnourished and frozen, one freezing day. A note left by Old Man Pliny read, "Ci fidavamo di Chongx, nutrivamo il piccolo mascalzone e lo rimettevamo in salute dopo che si era intrufolato sulla nave. Questo è il modo in cui siamo ripagati!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Aug 18 - 09:14 PM

More Chimps are now in sanctuaries than research labs.

And the number of chimps in sanctuaries pales in comparison with the number in bars, bordellos, and bookie joints.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Aug 18 - 08:47 PM

Yes! Chongo's efforts to end specism in America are bearing fruit, you might say. It's quite encouraging. Still, the forces marshaled against him cannot be taken lightly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 28 Aug 18 - 05:58 PM

LH thought you'd like to know we have reached a tipping point in the US. More Chimps are now in sanctuaries than research labs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 28 Aug 18 - 05:39 PM

Spoken english is far more abbreviated and contracted than we realize. We just don't choose to hear it. I hear it. 'imga' means "I am going to..."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Aug 18 - 01:41 PM

Non a circuitu hic, agis?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Aug 18 - 12:22 PM

And being from "around here" is the South's summum bonum and sine qua non to boot.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Aug 18 - 11:40 PM

Over the last 50 years or so, "you guys" has gradually worked its way into the southern vernacular. It's as common as "y'all" in many areas. But "youse" or "youse guys" still elicits the dreaded "Ya ain't from around here, are ya?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Aug 18 - 10:04 PM

57775.

What you mean, "no youse"? I grew up using "youse" and "y'all" and "dis" and "dat" and "dem" and "dese" and "doze". We'd say something like, "Hey, youse guys! Don't go throwin' dem apples at Miz Hogue's house! Y'all'll git yer tails kicked up tween yer shoulder blades!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Aug 18 - 10:55 PM

"I tried and I tried, but it ain't no youse."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Aug 18 - 10:38 PM

Maybe so...but "youse" still can't match Shane in that.

(Note: The term "youse" is Shanese for "y'all" or "you people"...no racism intended!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Aug 18 - 10:35 PM

Pretty damned low. Negative infinity.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Aug 18 - 03:15 PM

Just how high do you think your standards are?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Aug 18 - 10:20 PM

That's the trouble with those s******* countries! They just aren't up to our standards.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 25 Aug 18 - 01:03 PM

It's always something.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 25 Aug 18 - 12:20 PM

The power is out at night? Bummer.
Come back safely when you return.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 25 Aug 18 - 07:44 AM

Rap is right, but powered para gliding is the ultimate wind surfing and more reliable than wave surfing. Its been 20 years since I dodged a bullet when I parachuted beneath a Chinook 17B Coast Guard helicopter.Ugh never again.
This storm doesn't compare to Harvey which had twice the rain, but it stinks in town. My rip stop Mylar glider is ideal for these wet conditions. The biggest challenge is landing away from raging water. Its everywhere. ;^/
Then there is the inconvenient power outage at night. Can't post.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Aug 18 - 10:32 PM

Why did Donuel pick this moment to take a plane to Hawaii??

Mostly because it's a bit difficult to get there by train.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Aug 18 - 09:04 PM

His hobby is parachuting into hurricanes. I thought everyone knew that. He's a world-renowned expert in that field. He's jumped all of the big ones, starting with Hurricanes Ethel and Thelma (the ones that merged) back in 1953. He was a Hurricane Jumper for the Coast Guard then.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 24 Aug 18 - 03:35 PM

Why did Donuel pick this moment to take a plane to Hawaii??


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Aug 18 - 12:13 AM

Between that, the police keeping tabs on him, and the Greys monitoring his every move, Shane is attracting an amount of attention that can only be matched by luminaries like Bob Dylan and Donald Trump. I'm afraid it could go to his head.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Aug 18 - 09:40 PM

Yeah, it would really be deep and pervasive. Although, with Shame, it's deep and pervasive now. I understand that a hazmat team follows him and a regional unit is on permanent standby.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Aug 18 - 11:59 PM

In the aftermath of a Hurricane Shane, instead of the highways being crowded with convoys of utility and tree service trucks, they'd be slammed with huge flotillas of septic tank pumper trucks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Aug 18 - 05:34 PM

Yes, isn't it? The emergency aid organizations would truly have their hands full.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Aug 18 - 03:48 PM

LH, that is quite an image, Shame hitting the fan like you describe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Aug 18 - 03:46 PM

The original of Amos' "aroint" is, of course, from Billy Bob Shakespeare. It is said by the First Witch (Macbeth, Act 1, Scene 3, I believe) and goes "“Aroint thee, witch!” the rump-fed runnion cries." I've met Amos and unless he's changed mightily he isn't rump or any other way fed. He's a trim sort, even ,he can't play a brass instrument. He's of Olde Newe Englande stock, too, and not at all ditch-delivered by a drab.    He is not fop nor coxcomb, nor one o'er awed by himself. Indeed, he is a normal, middling, gray sort of person who, trudging along, never deviates from the well-traveled path and raises his glass and drinks to the status quo.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Aug 18 - 03:03 PM

"Hurricane Shane"! Imagine what a bad storm that one would be. The shit would truly hit the fan when Hurricane Shane made its landfall.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 22 Aug 18 - 02:52 PM

and we still haven't got to grips with Hurricane Maria from last year.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 22 Aug 18 - 02:50 PM

They're busy reminiscing about last year's Harvey down here in Texas.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Aug 18 - 12:47 PM

I certainly hope Hurricane Lane doesn't interfere with Donuel's vacation plans. Otherwise, we'll be forced to write a song about it.

Let's see... What else rhymes with hurricane and Lane?   Oh!!!   I know!!!   Shane!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Aug 18 - 11:16 AM

"Aroint"! Wow. Another great word to add to my Arcane Dictionary of Seldom Heard Words and Phrases. Thanks, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 22 Aug 18 - 08:48 AM

WOO hoo our flight got bumped up to tommorrow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 22 Aug 18 - 07:00 AM

With all the record rain and flash floods HERE , I am going to Hawaii next week for nothing but SUNSHINE 8^/
No need to check the weather report there


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Aug 18 - 12:01 AM

Master deceiver, you fool me not; your evasion and scurrilous dodgery does not change the point, or the facts. Aroint, and get thee to a monastery!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Aug 18 - 07:45 PM

We had a bad water hammer that was cured by putting on a pressure reduction device and slow-closing valve.

Amos, drawing spiritual power and thought from the Earth and things of the Earth is very ancient. I have within hand's grip an Icelandic crystal which can, when used correctly, find the Sun on cloudy day and hence North. There is the fossil of an ammonite, a creature which died and was turned to stone sometime between now and the Devonian age and which Pliny the Elder (d. AD 79) named. There is iron pyrite, from which a fire can be struck. You can, I think, understand why these among others were held in awe by people in the past.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 21 Aug 18 - 10:35 AM

I spent an hour running back and forth to the street gate valve and to all of the spigots and devices in the house (don't forget to run the washer so that spigot gets opened). It was a combination of an "air hammer" and really high pressure from the village (I'm at the bottom of a hill). I finally drained the air out of the lines in the correct order and the public works guy brought over a gauge to test the pressure. I get 70 pounds while most of the village gets the standard 40 pounds. I have my gate valve turned about 1/3 of the way closed to remedy the vibration that the pressure causes. Turns out the next door neighbors have been doing this for a couple of years.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Aug 18 - 09:16 AM

Speaking of strange noises, the sound my coffeemaker makes while brewing has recently changed. I finally figured out that it's because I changed coffees from Colombian to Kenyan. Instead of gurgling in Spanish, it's now gurgling in Swahili.

Next time I need coffee, I'm gonna buy some Kona and see if it'll gurgle in Hawaiian.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 21 Aug 18 - 07:37 AM

Is it a rattling or a groan?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 20 Aug 18 - 11:33 PM

Speaking of leaky plumbing. . . I need to call a plumber tomorrow because the water into the house is making a strange noise.


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