BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Aug 10 - 01:10 PM

Shane always advises grabbing the bull "by the mungo-berries". He advises it, but I don't think he's ever done it.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Aug 10 - 01:07 PM

The reason more folks don't come and visit Mom is because they can't deal with the bull. Now the secret is out.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Aug 10 - 11:40 AM

That's really lovely, Rapaire.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Aug 10 - 10:31 AM

Just before the day starts, Mother,
I am thinking most of you,
While upon the coming day we're gazing
With the daily grind in view.
Comrades brave are 'round me lying,
Telling tales of girls and beer
For well they know that by the morrow,
They will lucky just to leer.

Farewell, mother, you may never
Press me to your breast again;
Tho' I'd be among the cowards, Mother;
You'll never find me 'mongst the slain.

                --Wyrkyn De Roots, Songs Of Home And Yard
                (Don, Idaho: Phi Theta Alpha, 1865)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Aug 10 - 11:19 PM

Eiseley left a few minutes ago. She was still pretty sober, too.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Aug 10 - 09:54 PM

The place is still a mess, although some of the walls look paintlike. This is the most irritating project I have ever been through. Still typing in the garage via laptop. I'm lucky the Airport network is even operational here!! Oy!! Such tsuris as I got you should never have!!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Aug 10 - 06:34 PM

This may be the first time in the history of our existence as Sibs Under Mom (whose TLA is SUM) that we all agree on something aside from just counting... Goes to show that the SUM is greater than the hole in its parts...

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Aug 10 - 04:08 PM

"Bravery is mostly doing what you have to do."

Exactly. I don't regard myself as very brave. But once or twice I've simply did what I had to. And then been kind of surprised that I managed it...afterward.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Aug 10 - 03:39 PM

Speaking of bravery, it's a good thing I had on brown pants....

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Aug 10 - 03:33 PM

Well, I think that the Upper Portneuf is in SE Idaho. I'm pretty sure it is, anyway.

Once it had missed I was afraid it would take another shot at me and not miss. Holding a snake just behind the head immobilizes the biting ability (unlike, say, the middle or the tail). I stepped on the tail because it was whipping around. Then I couldn't think of anything better to do (brother Tony: "Why didn't you shoot it?" Me: "No gun, and besides, you just want me to shoot myself in the foot AND get snakebit") so I picked it up and threw it in the river.

Thank you, but doing that once is plenty. More than enough, in fact. The next time I go to Medicare Beach and not Cardiac Arrest Beach.

(Bravery is mostly doing what you have to do.)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 15 Aug 10 - 03:25 PM

WOW, Rapaire! You're so brave. Even thinking about it is a little disconcerting. Now, I don't have a snake phobia, but I just don't like the idea bending down to pick up and then throw something with sharp venomous fangs.

How were you able to just step on it like that? Didn't it squirm and try to strike even harder? Did you throw it right in the middle of the drunk guys' camp?

Maybe you should choose a different fishing hole. Here's a site that might have some good alternatives. Look at the lunker that lady caught! (Hmmm, think it tasted like chicken?)

Eiseley

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Aug 10 - 02:43 PM

Just can't let go of that bone, can you?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Aug 10 - 02:37 PM

Indeed--for example, coming up with Chongo Chimp, inter alia, a clear case of flight or drool response...

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Aug 10 - 02:21 PM

It's amazing the things we manage to do when confronted with sudden danger. If one had time to think about it beforehand, one would probably not have the nerve.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Aug 10 - 02:12 PM

Having eaten rattlesnake a few times I think it tastes like rattlesnake. Now, a fencepost or a lodgepole pine, THAT tastes like chicken...funny that chicken-fried steak doesn't, isn't it?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Aug 10 - 12:45 PM

I was out in the deserts of Baja investigating a gold strike with an engineer friend and a clutch of burly Mexicans about twenty years ago, and one of the men disappeared into the rugged rock formations around us and came back a while later with a dead rattler about four feet long.

His technique was different. He had approached the snake and relying on his own quickness had grabbed it by the tail and swung it in an arc energetically so it could not bend back and bite. This method would produce a much more powerful trajectory if he had thrown the snake, compared to Rapaire's safer two-handed technique. In the actual event, he slammed its head against a boulder and brought it back for dinner. Tastes like chicken, like most of the world...

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Aug 10 - 11:56 AM

Good job, Rapaire. I wonder what was passing through his little pea-brain as he found himself flying through the air about to pull a Sully?



A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 15 Aug 10 - 11:51 AM

Yikes! What a possibility - a rattlesnake throwing contest - now doesn't that sound like fun?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Aug 10 - 09:58 PM

Wow! You are the Man, Rapaire! Of course, I already knew that.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Aug 10 - 09:46 PM

Well, okay.

I was fishing and trying to free a snagged lure. I finally cut the line, reeled it in, and turned to go to the car and go home. For some reason I drew my right foot back and the rattlesnake missed. So I put my boot just behind its head. Then I put my left boot (my feet were in them, by the way) just in front of the rattles.

I threw the rod, butt end first, towards the car.

Then I reached down and picked up the snake, holding both ends VERY firmly. I raised it above my head and threw it as far downstream as I could. Last seen the snake was swimming to the other bank.

I neatly packed up everything and drove home.

I thought about maybe cutting off the snake's head and sending it to Shame but I saw no reason for even a rattlesnake to die for Shame. And if I'd sent the whole thing to him, alive, it would have died from his fumes. Instead, it got to sit in some rattlesnake bar and say to its friends, "Man, you'll never BELIEVE what happened today!"

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Aug 10 - 06:46 PM

Heh! My inner fop sneers down his patrician nose at your vain protestations, Amos, and orders a fresh serving of mussels and champagne, only the best of course...

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Aug 10 - 06:03 PM

Oh, the unanchored phantasmagorical fugues of unreason that blow through these hallowed halls when Mom's napping. If she only knew!! Your unflattering pictures, Little Hawk, are confessions of your own hidden desires. 'Fess up!! You can think of nothing more rewarding than finally becoming a landed fop!! Your inner fop cries out for acknowledgement!! If only you could get away with powdering that long-haired toupée you would be in seventh heaven!


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 Aug 10 - 04:40 PM

I simlply assumed you weren't hungry, Rap.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Aug 10 - 04:40 PM

I'm dying to know why! I was just too busy earlier to ask. I got distracted. Was it a present for Shane? Please enlighten us!

By the way, did you like my picture of you as I see you?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Aug 10 - 04:34 PM

Well, since no one wants to know why I threw away a live rattlesnake, I'm not going to tell you! So there!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Aug 10 - 03:53 PM

According to the code that one indicates that she is flirtatious. Seems reasonably probable, doesn't it?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 14 Aug 10 - 03:31 PM

Then there is this beauty mark.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Aug 10 - 03:00 PM

Amos's beauty mark correctly indicates that he is married.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 Aug 10 - 02:47 PM

Amos has smallpox???

What is someone wears one on the lower left or right cheek?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 14 Aug 10 - 02:37 PM

17th Century make up

"Beauty patches"—pieces of velvet or silk cut into the shape of stars, moons, hearts, and similar figures—were frequently applied to the face and body to cover smallpox scars, and similar marks. A "secret language" even developed through their use: A patch near the mouth meant you were flirtatious; one next to the right cheek signaled you were married; one on the left cheek announced you were engaged; one at the corner of the eye meant you were somebody's mistress.

that one's for free.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Aug 10 - 01:54 PM

That is not a fly, gnu. That is Amos's beauty mark, applied with a dab of eyeshadow.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Aug 10 - 01:53 PM

Not to worry! Here is Amos a week or two in the future, indicating his conditional approval for a job well done:

"Hmmm. Acceptable. Just. You will find your remittance in the mail."

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 Aug 10 - 01:47 PM

Is that a fly on the screen?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 14 Aug 10 - 01:45 PM

In the 1980s program Thirty-something they had an homage to those who are remodeling (by themselves or with the assist of others) by having a sheet of plastic hanging around a portion of the main couple's kitchen. I don't remember if they every did finally take it down.

I still have stacks of tile near where they need to be placed once they're measured and cut. And other projects to work on. I don't complain about it to MOM or she points out the gaping hole in the roof and that brown stain in the ceiling of that back bedroom that her brother slapped onto the house years ago, without sealing the connection between the old construction and the new. And the holes in the floor boards on the back porch over where the gutter sprang a leak and sent a fine stream of water onto the porch every time it rained. Still does, but now it falls through the hole in the flooring and you hear it hitting the mud between the pier and beam.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Aug 10 - 01:35 PM

Here's Amos, gazing in dismay at the disorderly conditions he presently must endure in his lodgings:

"Dreadful! When will things return to normal? Where is my snuff?"

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Aug 10 - 12:54 PM

I find it quite disturbing to think of a bon vivant and cultural sophisticate such as yourself being forced to endure such apalling conditions, Amos! When will it all end? What can the rest of us do to help?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Aug 10 - 12:18 PM

My gawd -- them of us as ain't drooling mad is nesting to a fare-thee-well. What sad choices.

Here in the latter camp, our house is a complete stack of sixes and sevens, a chaos of overabundance overcome by chaos. Every room in the house is partitioned with Viscleen, and a stack of stuff huddles in the center of each space under a layer of the filmy plastic, which murmurs softly as you walk by in little plastic sibilant whispers. . I feel like I am living in a box of condoms, I swan. The painters are good-hearted and helpful, but they get sloppy and miss things and are needing herd-riding.

The carpenter has hung all the new doors but they are as yet to be painted and they look like new recruits, lost in a Marine Corps induction camp, or boys at camp for the first time--a little naked, lacking in hardware and finish.

These last few days we have been practically camping out--the bed has been unwrapped each evening, and we have used take-out dinners. It is slowly getting better, though. I had enough kitchen this morning to make French toast, which is delicious when you use a whole-grain bread. Maple syrup and melted butter...Canadian bacon and OJ.   Who could ask for more?

Today I am living in exile, sitting int he garage working on a laptop, leaving the chaotic piles of too many belongings in the various rooms of the house to the barbarian wielders of caulk and primer and paint. I think it will be weeks before we re-discover the pleasant familiarity of a space in which we know where things are by feel.

But, we will have new doors and new paint throughout the house. Followed, soon, by new carpets. But first, we will bring in a troupe of gals with eagle-eyes and brillo pads to make sure everything is put clean, and the endless dust of sanding an dplastering is banished from the house.

Sooner or later we ill again have a home we can enjoy, nothing luxurious or overly fancy, but it will have the paintings back on the walls, the knick-knacks back on the mantel, the books--so many and so loved--back on the bookshelves and the guitars back int he music room.

Oh, MOM!!!! Next week, we hie ourselves away to far Halifax, a town I have never seen, and then drive up to the end of the Island of Nova Scotia, up near Antigonish, and spend a week out of communication on a primitive farm with my cousin the sculptor, a man I dearly love. He wrote me of late that he had not been able to get a guitar for my visit, and I was unable to stand the thought of a week in primitive lands without one. So I hied me, modern geek folkie that I am, to CraigsList and found me therein a lad of some fourteen years who was selling his, only two miles away. It is a fgine looking cheap instrument, meant for teenagers or beaches, but it was designed by Washburn, and is clean and in good shape. It was missing three strings and a peg, but when I tested it out the scaling was true, the neck was straight, the harmonics were clean, the fretting was functional. The lad had bullied his parents into buying it for him and then lost interest, and I expect they spent $100 bucks on it. I gave him forty and walked away pleased, and he was thrilled to have good Yankee dollars in his little fist, too. I cleaned it up nice and put new strings on and it sounds downright good, good enough to play around a campfire with. So now this is a music thread!

I leave you with this noble reflection from our best friend Sam Twain:

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not, but I am getting older, and soon I shall remember only the latter.

I think I know how he felt.

That's all the news that is pit to frint, I think!! Vaya con dios, Mamacita!! ANd congratulations on your great accomplishment of the next of Kay!!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 14 Aug 10 - 11:46 AM

I guess you didn't lose power and float away in the rain, Don?

MOM wants an overhead fan installed in the garage and on the back patio cover, like the kind you see in old movies set in the Florida Keys and Hemingway-type homes. So when she's tinkering in the garage these hot evenings there is a little movement in the air. Just put the fan over far enough so it doesn't smack the radio antenna on the truck.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Aug 10 - 12:36 AM

LH Super! It will match my Cheney doll with external heart assist pump.

SNEAK PREVIEW!!!

NEW Exclusive products:

Barak Hussein Obama - Worst President EVER

Legalize Obama - Make Kenya the 52nd State

Bush Doctrine Mexicans NOW

Tea Partiers are Strict Constitutionalists so
Change the 1st 2nd 10th 14th and 17th ammendments

Secede, succeed and be freed.

End all Social Justice and Entitlements for the kids

Freedom ain't free - the rich need your money.

Bush had Freedom Zones
Obama has death camps


we are 0 for 3 wars
so win one for the Gipper
and nuke something now


Unemployed Democrat = Lazy Drug Fiend

take out Gay Judges

Enforce the ban of the Democrat Communist Party

Kill stem cell research
Clone Reagan.

Bring back our founding father's
Official Christian State Goverment

APOLOGIZE TO;
BP, WALL ST & the Rich

UNCOVER THE OBAMA TARP RIP OFF

TERRY SCHAIVO GOT OBABMA CARE

USA still #1 in winning civil wars around the world.

cut off Barney's Frank

Rachel is completely Mad now.

Keith is Oddforaman

MSNBC ... Maniac Sinners Never Believe Christ

FOX ...Freedom OX

The wealthy have suffered long enough
extend their tax cuts forever


Obama talks in Sublimininamal Satanic Incantations

0 for the last 3 wars?
its time to nuke something or someone

Cut wages, exported jobs and paying bail outs
is your cross to bear in this life

Extend wealthy tax cuts to the here-after.

End Medicare now before death panels get you.

Jack Bauer like
White Power
is the Right Power
for you


2012 will be a wreck
its time to Elect
Palin & Beck
what the heck
don't forget
place your bets
on Sarah and Beck.

End racism like the NAACP

Glen Beck has the better content of character and color
than the social justice communist MLK

Divide and CONQUER
with religious predjudice,
racial predjudice,
sexual predujudice
so the ruling class
can divide the spoils.

(oops, that one is true)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 10:30 PM

Scared little rabbit, huh? Knew he was a punk blowhard.

Flew back from Saginaw in time to go fishin' this afternoon. Lousy luck -- stuck in traffic, no fish, lost three lures, and had to throw away a perfectly good rattlesnake.

Sheesh, what a day.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 10:07 PM

All I can offer is a 12-inch tall (1/6 scale) action figure of George Bush in full military pilot flight gear. All his primary joints are fully moveable, so he can be placed in any position desired. And he really LOOKS like Dubya. An incredible likeness.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 08:43 PM

Getting a new business off the ground is like doing cardio excercise in hell, its exhasusting. I'm using contractors for for silk screening, bottling jobs and repackaging a new line of tasers. It is like juggling cats and dogs. Using Mexican contractors I can remain at a break even point until sales take off in October.

It really is hard work monitoring the quality, cost and efficiency of the movement and storage of merchandise, while maintaining the integrity of logistical operations. Promoting merchandise through the logistical marketing, display, advertising and shipping of said merchandise is like a delicate ballet.

I'm selling Tea Party paraphenalia such as signs, T shirts, beverages and devices. Mostly the signs are the same ol junk but the Obama Hitler and Joker signs have red LED lights for eyes. The T shirts include Sic Sempre Tyranis and "with the blood of Patriots" quotes but my fav is "Its A Choice-Not A Child DEPORT ANCHOR BABIES!"
IT turns out that I can't sell any Palin Tea Shirts since her lawyers notified me that they get 100% of any and all sales of T shirts that have her image or name. Ibid for Beck.

I am gambling with the Return to Reaganomics signs that shows Reagan as Michelagnelo's God reaching out and sprinkling shiney coins down to Adam and Eve below, but if it catches on I could introduce more Resurrect Reaganomic signs. There is a rumor of an emerging market for Gingrich kitch but I'll wait for now.

Relabeling bottles of ice tea with individual state labels like Texas Tea or Arizona TEA Party is the most labor intesive of all. Mostly its just a bit of Red Bull with Lipton ice tea.

The fad items are the biggest ticket merchandise that I carry but I had to use a Chinese source.
The package contractor is really expensive but it looks good. It has a picture of Rand Paul and Sharon Angle above "As Seen on TEA V"
and below in LARGE print "Black and Mexican Repellent" and in real small print on the bottom "works on Jews too" The price for this repackaged taser is $79.99. Expensive, but they really spice up displays at rallies.

Rapaire has generously donated some automatic weapons (sans the firing pins) as well as hunting knives on which I engrave "target Obama" on the the stock or handle.
The biggest mark up I have is for the firing pins.

Just in case you have any suitable items for which you will be reimbursed later if sold, let me know.

A new business is like a black hole for all my time but knowing that I am doing food for my country and economy is reward enough.

Exhausted but patrioticaly proud,
Don


PS
anybody here have a good recording of a Tea Party anthem for free I can sell at rallies, to media and online ?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 08:00 PM

He should have known better than to keep insulting Rapaire. Rapaire is a mean dude! His reputation for violence and mayhem and frontier justice is known all over the American West. Shane thinks Rapaire looks like this:

Rapaire, according to Shane...

But I happen to know that Rapaire really looks a lot like this:

Rapaire, according to those in the know...

One scary customer! Don't mess with him.

I invite the other participants here to post links to pictures of what you think Rapaire looks like. Don't be shy! Do it! You know you want to... ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Don McBride
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 07:52 PM

The truck ain't turned up. Nor did idiot-boy neether. So I called the cops. Officer Dana showed up about an hour ago and took down the deetales. She says they should find him quick enuff cos he is "pretty predictable". I figger she is right. If rain was as predicatable as my little brother we would not need no weatherman to tell us, eh? As it is, I borrowed a van from Bill at the garage and I am goin' on my hot date regardless of idiot-boy. The van was fulla junk in the back, but I threw it all out behind the garage and put a tarp on it. Then I got a brane wave and threw this old mattress in the back of the van. Looks like things are gonna work out okay after all. I tole Officer Dana to go easy on the boy becoz stealin' from fambly ain't really stealin', it is just bein' a dick, right?

She laughed. I bet she finds him in a day or less. If he wrecks my truck he is in deep shit.

- Don

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 04:05 PM

We could probably do it in an hour....MM


How about 32 minutes?

Still, thanks. Frost is weak on doggerel.



A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 03:51 PM

Good job, Amos! I didn't have time to hunt up another Robert Frost poem this afternoon. :)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 02:29 PM

And THAT, by the way
Was the NEXT OF KAY!
THe pride of Mudcat's hosting!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 02:28 PM

And NOW tis done!
The final one!
Has hastened to its posting!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 02:28 PM

How now!! We see
That only three
Are needed in this measure
Before the Kay turns full around
And fiulls our souls with pleasure.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 13 Aug 10 - 02:27 PM

Three! Did I guess right?