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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 20 Dec 17 - 08:29 AM
gnu 19 Dec 17 - 06:53 PM
gnu 19 Dec 17 - 10:18 AM
Rapparee 19 Dec 17 - 09:10 AM
Stilly River Sage 19 Dec 17 - 09:05 AM
Stilly River Sage 18 Dec 17 - 07:39 PM
keberoxu 18 Dec 17 - 07:23 PM
Stilly River Sage 18 Dec 17 - 06:23 PM
keberoxu 18 Dec 17 - 04:01 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 18 Dec 17 - 10:56 AM
Rapparee 16 Dec 17 - 10:29 PM
Rapparee 15 Dec 17 - 10:54 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 Dec 17 - 09:11 PM
Stilly River Sage 15 Dec 17 - 08:36 PM
Amos 15 Dec 17 - 04:53 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 Dec 17 - 12:57 PM
Rapparee 15 Dec 17 - 10:08 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 Dec 17 - 01:50 AM
keberoxu 14 Dec 17 - 07:11 PM
Donuel 14 Dec 17 - 09:13 AM
Donuel 14 Dec 17 - 09:04 AM
Stilly River Sage 13 Dec 17 - 10:40 PM
Rapparee 13 Dec 17 - 10:11 PM
Donuel 13 Dec 17 - 09:17 PM
keberoxu 13 Dec 17 - 03:50 PM
Rapparee 12 Dec 17 - 09:07 PM
Rapparee 12 Dec 17 - 08:52 PM
Donuel 12 Dec 17 - 07:33 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 Dec 17 - 06:56 PM
Rapparee 11 Dec 17 - 09:12 PM
Rapparee 10 Dec 17 - 08:25 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Dec 17 - 11:00 PM
Rapparee 09 Dec 17 - 09:48 PM
gnu 09 Dec 17 - 09:17 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Dec 17 - 07:17 PM
Stilly River Sage 09 Dec 17 - 02:25 PM
gnu 08 Dec 17 - 09:49 PM
gnu 08 Dec 17 - 09:38 PM
Rapparee 07 Dec 17 - 10:04 PM
Amos 07 Dec 17 - 09:36 PM
Stilly River Sage 06 Dec 17 - 10:36 PM
Rapparee 05 Dec 17 - 09:53 PM
keberoxu 05 Dec 17 - 02:50 PM
Donuel 05 Dec 17 - 12:04 PM
Donuel 04 Dec 17 - 10:04 AM
Rapparee 04 Dec 17 - 08:05 AM
Stilly River Sage 04 Dec 17 - 12:51 AM
Rapparee 03 Dec 17 - 10:07 PM
Donuel 03 Dec 17 - 04:15 PM
Donuel 03 Dec 17 - 03:37 PM

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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Dec 17 - 08:29 AM

Christmas is coming
The goose is getting fat.
Please don't make a urinal
Of the old man's hat.

If you use it for a urinal
The old man will be mad,
And you can't apologize
By saying "Oops, my bad!"

The old man is a psychopath,
He's been one all along,
He takes a lot of umbrage
If you do him a wrong.

Yes, he takes a lot of umbrage,
Your clothes and money too,
He'll leave you in a snowdrift
With your toes up, turning blue.

         --G. Gestalt von und zu Lummox, Melodien und Lieder unserer gesch?tzten Vorfahren (Kleinblittersdorf and London: Illskaelda and Skreyja, 875).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 19 Dec 17 - 06:53 PM

Acme... I have stated my piece(s) on FB. Rap... you still on HD drugs and how are you healing? A... all the best, buddy - all the best.

Long and tough haul here (Mum is not good). Mum's doc is gonna be pissed tomorrow as he likes to ship 'em in and out in 15 minutes. That ain't gonna happen tomorrow. Too much going on with Mum for just a 15 minute consult. He's gonna earn his $$$ tomorrow. Or I will tear him a new one. I know his boss (head of Family Medicine in Atlantic Canada) personally and, if I gotta use that, I will.

Well, that pretty much catches me up. Sorry for my absence, Mom. Life happens.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 19 Dec 17 - 10:18 AM

I have been remiss. I shall atone later today... I hope.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Dec 17 - 09:10 AM

Call work and take funeral leave. I think it's very appropriate, and I say that as a former management sort.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 19 Dec 17 - 09:05 AM

It's raining cats and dogs out there this morning, traffic is a snarl, and an Office Christmas Party awaits. So many reasons to not want to go to work this morning . . .

MOM, pull out the box of old VHS tapes and we'll watch some of your favorite movies.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 18 Dec 17 - 07:39 PM

I've always thought that was as good a goal as anyone can work for.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 18 Dec 17 - 07:23 PM

"God,
help me to be the person
that my dog thinks I am."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 18 Dec 17 - 06:23 PM

Thank you, K.

Cinnamon also met Amos's Maggie when they came through town back at the beginning of the year - the pooches had a grand old time for a few hours. I've had dogs and I've had cats, and after full lives, lost both - it's hard losing any pet, but there is something about dogs that really corkscrews that canine joy and love into your heart.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 18 Dec 17 - 04:01 PM

In late April there was an affectionate post
about Cinnamon making dog-friends in the waiting room at the vet's office.

A moment's silence for Cinnamon whose last-ever visit to the vet
is being scheduled.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Dec 17 - 10:56 AM

Mom says this thread ain't gonna get to 57,000 posts by the end of the year at a rate of one post every two days. Gonna take about twelve per day. Git busy, ya varmints!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Dec 17 - 10:29 PM

Horse's Ass.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Dec 17 - 10:54 PM

I ran into a ton of trolls in Norway and Iceland this year. They were not the cutesy-wutesy ones, but uglier than ten miles of homemade mud fence and downright mean. I was fortunate in being able to defeat them and thereby saved two Norse mountain villages and Þistilfjörður in Iceland. Turned them trolls to stone, but left their bright red noses to serve as navigation beacons.

One of them, I just shoved his (definitely male) feet into his mouth until he disappeared. His last words were, "Mmmm...mmm...good! I'm delicious!" What was left was a sort of black hole, which closed with a loud burp.

Don't feed the trolls, except to themselves.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Dec 17 - 09:11 PM

I have never heard of a herd of trolls. In fact, the largest grouping of trolls I've heard of is three. That makes a trio of trolls, which has a nice alliterative ring that Mom finds pleasing.

Do not be fooled by the that animated "Trolls" movie. (If you are not familiar with it, you obviously don't have young children in your life.) Yes, there are large groups of trolls in it, but they are not real trolls. They are as insipid as Care Bears, which is the very last thing one could say about real trolls.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 15 Dec 17 - 08:36 PM

What about

Amos shafted herb T roll


Who knows what the herb "T" might be. Or be rolled. Just a thought.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Dec 17 - 04:53 PM

Pardon the silence. Been maundering at a mad rate. Chemo and the clinical trial start Thursday next. I am still processing the tectonic shift , you understand. The loom of mortality is a cage rattler if you are settled in to the comfortable certainty that you are immortal. Now, I KNOW I am immortal in some clear and distant way, but I kind of assumed daily existence was sort of similar, if you know what I mean. Now, I don't think so. Anyway. ONWARD.

Oh, and I choose

Amos Daft Brothers Hell


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Dec 17 - 12:57 PM

The call letters for the public radio station in Atlanta are WABE. I wonder if staff members gyre and gimble during pledge drives?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Dec 17 - 10:08 AM

Check out the plans in "Better Homes and Wabes." Try the Spring 2017 issue.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Dec 17 - 01:50 AM

Hi !

A one-eared hound dog followed me home today. It was actually a neighbor's dog. It had run off 'cause the neighbor was shooting a muzzle loader and the dog didn't like the noise. So, he came to visit me. I was running a chainsaw, which is pretty loud but can't hold a candle to a muzzle-loader. I didn't ask the dog what happened to his ear and he didn't volunteer the information. I let my dog out to play with the one-eared hound for a while. They had a good time romping and frolicking. If I'd had a wabe, they would probably have gyred and gimbled in it. I suppose a wabe should be my next building project, right after putting a new roof on the pottery studio. Can't gyre and gimble without one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 14 Dec 17 - 07:11 PM

Well, it was reassuring to hear
that Amos tested negative for pregnancy, anyway.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Dec 17 - 09:13 AM

And the winner is
Amos thread bells forth =   Mother of all BS threads


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Dec 17 - 09:04 AM

The letters in 'The Mother of all BS' can be reduced to Heteroatoms.
It can further be reduced to heartfelt.

The letters ultimately can be re arranged;
There are many possibilities but they are curiously about Amos

Amos Barfed Hell Troths
Amos Blathers Hold Fret
Amos Ballets Herd Froth
Amos Bra Threshold Felt
Amos Brats Frothed Hell
Amos Shafted Herb Troll
Amos Farted Throb Hells
Amos Thread Bells Forth
Amos Daft Brothers Hell
Amos Hard Brothels Felt
Amos Dollar Herb Thefts
Amos Fathers Berth Doll
Amos Lethal Bred Froths
Amos Halters Bled Forth
Amos Halters Bled Forth
Amos Halters Bled Forth
Amos shafted herb troll


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 13 Dec 17 - 10:40 PM

The hoosegow! Don't say so! Maybe he's wandering around the woods looking for the perfect xmas tree. We could use another one over at the Mudcat Tavern.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 17 - 10:11 PM

Let us all take a moment to remember Amos.

He's not dead or anything, just remarkably silent for Amos. I suspect he's in jail again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 13 Dec 17 - 09:17 PM

Stay tuned and learn what is the NEW TABOO;

"Harassment the world to me, it's a PERFECT bubble butt." [TABOO]

"Jew eat?" "No, Jew?" "Y'all hear we gotta new blood sucking Jew lawyer?" "Yah?, ever notice they always answer questions with a question?" [TABOO]

You can no longer tweet about female Senators falling on their knees and begging to suck. [TABOO]

You can not have a photo of pretending to cop a feel through body armor and Flak jackets. [TABOO]

Proclaim new Capitol cities of foreign countries. [STILL OK]


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 13 Dec 17 - 03:50 PM

Maybe 57,000 by Epiphany?
Or Eastern Orthodox Christmas?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 17 - 09:07 PM

How about 57,000 then?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 17 - 08:52 PM

Can Mom make 59,000 by Christmas?

Stay tuned!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 12 Dec 17 - 07:33 PM

saw that cart comin a click away

Joyous suffering to all. And to all a good night.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Dec 17 - 06:56 PM

Descartes gets way too much credit. Most of his ideas were "borrowed" from an obscure Dutch philosopher named Willem DeHorst. It is high time this historical omission was rectified! It's time to put DeHorst before Descartes!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Dec 17 - 09:12 PM

So was René "Renny" Descartes, who once said, "Cogito cogiton, ergo cogito cogito sum, cogito."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Dec 17 - 08:25 PM

And thus is a brownie defined as pieces of itself? Is a crumb a brownie? A molecule? An atom? Of course not! And thus you see that nothing is what we in our arrogance define it as. Indeed, whatever you define, be it a brownie or a battleship, is both not what it is and is what it is. Erwin Rudolf Josef Alexander Schrödinger was right, and so was Werner Heisenberg.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Dec 17 - 11:00 PM

But if the brownies are not cut, they are not brownies. They're just one big brownie.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Dec 17 - 09:48 PM

Brownies need not be defined by the act of cutting. Just wolf the whole pan down without doing anything more to it. Then, like an uncut cake or a loaf of unsliced bread, it is a gestalt, a wholeness, complete unto itself.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Dec 17 - 09:17 PM

Unless you make a hash.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Dec 17 - 07:17 PM

It has occurred to me that it is not possible to bake a dozen brownies. The thing which comes out of the oven is not brownies. It is a proto-brownie mass which must be cut into twelve pieces to yield a dozen brownies. The act of cutting is as essential to making brownies as the act of baking.

I can think of no other baked item which shares this characteristic. Cookies and cupcakes are baked individually. Cakes and pies are cut, but each serving is a piece of the whole. A brownie is not a piece, it is the whole, but it is defined by the act of cutting.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 Dec 17 - 02:25 PM

MOM sez it's the time of year to start baking. So I just baked an acorn squash, and now I need to figure out how to use this non-gluten flour to make my traditional holiday cookies and breads. I'm sure the results will not go to waste, even if they aren't perfect.

That's why we have dogs, after all!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Dec 17 - 09:49 PM

My heart goes out to A and Rap. I hope all works out well for you guys. You guys mean a lot to me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Dec 17 - 09:38 PM

I haven't checked up on posts yet. I checked my PMs. I am simply thrilled that Ken sent me a PM two weeks ago and said he just saw my PM from 2011 about the 40,000th post to MOAB. It was rather nice. Long live The King!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Dec 17 - 10:04 PM

Well, I would, Amos, but my left elbow and wrist hurt. The splint came off today, but I remain on pain pills for now. That means I can't drive, so I can't come see you for a bit. Just send my Christmas presents.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Dec 17 - 09:36 PM

I guess this is kinda like when the power company shuts down the grid in your neighborhood? Everything goes dark and people have to talk to each other instead!

Sorry I've been away so long. I am pleasewd to report my heart is normal and I am not pregnant according to the ultrasound done earlier this week.

Monday is Second OpinionDay. Then we see.

If you're in the neighborhood come down to Graham next Thursday evening for dinner or drinks at the Verdict on the Square, entertainment by Mom's favorite son.

Hugs,

A

First Vowel.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 06 Dec 17 - 10:36 PM

She's fine. She's used to us Kids bailing her out of the Hoosegow every so often. Life moves on.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Dec 17 - 09:53 PM

Mom creates inaccessibility.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 05 Dec 17 - 02:50 PM

What the heck happened to MOM
while the Mudcat was inaccessible yesterday ?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 05 Dec 17 - 12:04 PM

I forgot the smiley face


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 04 Dec 17 - 10:04 AM

What a weasel
He takes the easel
All he does is boast
He steals with a evil touch
When it comes gall he has most
Rap's a rodent by Theodore Giesel
I will always hold Rap accountable.
I know his shtick is to claim too much,
For it is I who have the 56789 milestone post.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Dec 17 - 08:05 AM

I have a carpet cleaner/scrubber you can use. You'll have to come get it, though, because in about 3 hours I'll be even more non compis mentis.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 Dec 17 - 12:51 AM

MOM, I asked my friend/ex if my carpet cleaner got the stains out of his carpet left by plumbers (who had to break the foundation slab). He said not only did it get their grime, but it also picked up the stain from the beer spill a while back. (He still hasn't brought back my carpet cleaner.)

I have dogs. That's why I have a carpet cleaner. Enough said. I need it back, it isn't one of those loans that never comes back home again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Dec 17 - 10:07 PM

I got lots of mathematics. Like, you sure recall that the tangent line to f(x) at a point x=a is given by L(x)=f'(a)(x-a)+f(a)and so the tangent line in this context is also called the linear approximation to f at a. It's like, so simple even you can do it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 03 Dec 17 - 04:15 PM

Rap is right, arithmetic is still not his strength.
But he might be good at Mathematics.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 03 Dec 17 - 03:37 PM

ICBM launch facilities?


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