BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 08:14 PM

I am abashed, disgruntled and nonplussed, my darlin'.



A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 08:12 PM

* ahem *

...of which well-rounded fusses can boast.....

Shame, Amos.

Shame.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 07:00 PM

The squirtrel prolly cane crawling up the tree to visit the crow and the crow was having a bad feathers day.

Rapaire, I do not monger my fusses, nor would I offer any custom to such a trade. My fusses are for my own consumption only, mostly for recreational purposes, and are hand-groomed and nourished in my garden patch, and carefully pruned of bad spots, sweet spots, reasonablesness and placidity if it starts to appear around the edges. I like my fusses strong, choleric, irascible, and occasionally just the slightest bit terpsichorean, but not enough to cause damage, and with the fine sharp edges only the most well-rounded fusses can boast of.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 06:35 PM

Okay, folkes, here is taday's big qwestion:

How many corkpullers does it take to flip the sox off'n a dead preist?

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 06:07 PM

I imagine it et the crow aigs - or tried to.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Eiseley
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 06:03 PM

Good luck doing that here. At least YOU can throw golf balls at the squirrels---or make a fuss about them as a kind of advertisement for your new business.

Eiseley

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 05:58 PM

Eiseley, when I lived in Indiana we would find dead birds in the back yard. One day I saw a squirrel biting off the top of the skull of a bird. That was also the day I began to live-trap out all the squirrels and had Animal Control deal with them.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 05:56 PM

Amos, if you want a fuss you'll have to pay 50% up front. And if you're thinking of going into fussmongering let me remind you that we will beat the prices of all legitimate competitors.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 05:53 PM

By the way, my business is selling fusses, like an ironmonger sells hardware and a whoremong...well, never mind. Anyway, you pay me and I'll sell you a first-class fuss at the best prices around, but it's DYI. Our motto is "No One Can Provide A Fuss Like Us." And we'll beat any legitimate competitor's prices, too.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Eiseley
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 05:52 PM

Oh my goodness! I was driving back from the grocery store where my young adult librarian and I bought three gallons of ice cream for our root beer float party today, when we saw an amazing sight: a crow was chasing a squirrel across the road, flying above it and pecking at it all the way! What could the squirrel have done to make the crow so angry?

Eiseley

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 05:52 PM

You did a first rate job, VT. A fine, sturdy fuss, delicate in its hooks and subtle shadings of blame and lament. And with overtones of dignity and high literature at the same time!! Really, I think Rapaire should take lessons!! Before he went professional, his fusses were all very egoistical and intentionally obscure, and they left you feeling like you could not for the life of you see what the fuss was about. Especially when he wrote them in Turkish or High Latin, not because these were appropriate languages but because he thought being mysterious made him seem important. And of course, it never did!!

So I would not worry about the quality of fuss--it is not strained. It soundeth as the gentle whinging from heaven, and all that...


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 05:49 PM

You did nothing wrong. I'm more energetic now, so here's The Principle:

Well, now I can't find it. But there really is one, but you didn't do anything wrong. You can't do anything wrong here.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 05:22 PM

oh dear... now I know I have gone and done something wrong.

Sorry MOM

SRS... We have a bigger problem than crows and seagull crashing into hard road or sand or rocks.

Literally bigger. Swans sometimes mistake wet roads for rivers. Consequences can be dire as you can imagine.

Rap... I could have paid for you to fuss at me for making such a fuss over a sore toe.   But I was too poor then. I had to make my own fuss.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 05:15 PM

Eiseley - The Light Princess is my favourite fairy tale. Read it over and over to my kids.

The toe thing was actually a wart on inside of toe and it was some 12 years ago when I had just finished uni and was reading Goethe for the hell of it. I had written this vignette in 1998 and was rereading it this evening.
Later peeking into MOABS, thought this is perfect. So I copied and pasted it in.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 05:11 PM

I just read about flattened seagulls over on the crows cracking nuts thread.

I think, in those two concepts, we could keep MOAB afloat for at least 100 posts, don't you think?

Crows cracking nuts. . . now there's an image.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 05:07 PM

VT, you need to know and heed the Guiding Principle of MOAB. I don't have the energy right now to post it, but I'm certain Amos will enlighten you. Welcome, by the way, to Mom's place, where every one is above average except for those who are a wee bit below.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Eiseley
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 05:04 PM

So if we have something that needs to have a fuss made about it, are you the man to call? What are your rates? Do you work by the hour or by the job?

VirginiaTam, I recently posted a section from George MacDonald's Light Princess for Amos and Rapaire. Here is what he had to say about the princess and a sore toe:

""The only revenge the princess took upon her aunt, was to tread pretty hard on her gouty toe, the next time she saw her. But she was sorry for it the very next day, when she heard that the water had undermined her house, and that it had fallen in the night, burying her in its ruins; whence no one ever ventured to dig up her body. There she lies to this day."

May your house stay perfectly sound and your toe heal soon.

Eiseley

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 03:39 PM

not that anything much can trump Rap's last post, but there is this.

Not brilliant but I had to say it somewhere.

on reading Goethe and having a pain in my toe

It never ceases to astonish me that the body, as a whole, can and will sympathise with a pain in such an insignificant part as a toe.   Undoubtedly, the body will attempt to compensate, even to a ridiculous degree, in favour of the silly digit.

And this! That the mind understands why, yet will not resign itself to the phenomenon. So that, therefore, the mind must be perplexed at the body's obstinate catering to an offended micro-part, the body overtaxes itself to protect that part.

The mind, invariably attempts to will the body to the contrary, rationalizing that only more of its parts will become injured in this ludicrous pursuit of the toe's comfort. Hence, the entire organism is at odds with itself, each part now rebelling either for or against another so that the whole system becomes dysfunctional.



"all that is transitory is but a metaphor" my big toe…..

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 03:07 PM

Fussmonger

Extraordinary

Mr. Rapaire is
pleased to announce
that he has taken up
the trade of
Fussmonger
Extraordinary and
hopes that all will
favor him with their
custom at his shop in

MOAB Street.

✵

(Peacemongering also provided at slightly
higher rates.)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 02:55 PM

YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE!!

Rapaire coming out of retirement. A announcement will be forthcoming.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 12:42 PM

She's depressed because no one has posted anything absolutely brilliant here lately.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 11:28 AM

Nah, she was just sleeping in to avoid having to face all the whinging. SHe don't buy off t6hat easy, Man O' Booques!


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 10:37 AM

Poor Mom. No one else to say, "Good Morning!" and greet her with a smiling face, a nice pot of tea, some fresh scones, and a reminder that his allowance is overdue.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 May 10 - 11:44 PM

Besides, the school kids have the public libraries -- THEY always have lots and lots of money because politicians KNOW their value to a community.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 31 May 10 - 11:43 PM

Oops. Posted this on the wrong thread, so I'll put it here, also:

The salmon was excellent, but was only a little over a pound for the three of us. I bought it for dinner yesterday with 2 in mind. I know, some people don't eat that much in a week, but we're spoiled. Anyway, I found an extra little New York strip steak in the freezer and put that on the grill also. My son really liked this salmon, so since it was kind of a celebratory dinner also I let him have a big chunk of my fish and I ate the steak. I'll go get more salmon tomorrow--it was excellent, some Columbia River salmon at 1/3 to 1/2 have the price of the Alaska fish and it's the same blankety blank varieties. :) It's all in a name: Copper River or Columbia River. Roll On Columbia, and give me some good fish. If it was good enough for Lewis and Clark (well, it wasn't really, because they preferred to buy Indian dogs and eat them) it's good enough for us!

The corn was great, that Olathe variety (or a good knockoff) and the Italian bread was warm and melted butter quickly. Watermelon to top it off. Mmmmm!

MOM, no one wants to play spin the bottle. Here, let me put that in the recycle bin. That German beer was good with the fish and corn, wasn't it?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 31 May 10 - 11:39 PM

I knew I had a good reason for discouraging Sum Yung Sun from reading MOAB!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 31 May 10 - 11:34 PM

And video games. They need to spend hours on games, not reading.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 31 May 10 - 11:33 PM

Exactly, Eiseley. Pure chance. When I consider how very close a call it was, and all the chance variables involving not just me, but probably 15-30 other vehicles and drivers....actually, it is best that I not spend much time considering it... possessing, as I do, at least an average need to maintain an illusion of self-control over my destiny. *grin*

Definitely gonna be a bit hypervigilant while riding in or driving a vehicle for the next several days.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 May 10 - 11:16 PM

Kids don't need books, they need more football.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 31 May 10 - 09:50 PM

It was a white Ford pickup---with only a dog, no load, in the back. I figure it was an anomaly. I wanted to pull over and catch my breath, but I was on my way to the school district office where my narrow escape served to make my plea that they fund school librarians' positions quite eloquent but ultimately futile because they're cutting even more. But that's another story.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 May 10 - 09:45 PM

Do you know anything about the truck? At a minimum you could report it to the police, as all trucks are supposed to have covered loads (city ordinance as well as Federal law).

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 31 May 10 - 09:33 PM

Oh Janie! Has your heart calmed down even now? I'm so glad you're all right!

The other day I was driving on the North Main extension and a truck changed lanes from where it was behind me, sped up and passed. As it did, a chunk of metal came whizzing from the truck bed and smashed into the metal frame around my windshield, denting it pretty badly. The driver of the truck was oblivious to it all. I was so thankful it hit exactly there and then and not one split second earlier (or it would have smacked into the window and broken it) or a split second later (or it would have zoomed into my open side window and done me in). So here's to narrow escapes!

Eiseley

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 31 May 10 - 07:12 PM

No hero, Stilly. Just lucky as hell.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 May 10 - 06:57 PM

Janie, try to avoid that sort of thing in the future.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 31 May 10 - 06:15 PM

Whoa, Janie! A hero in our midst and just in time for Memorial Day. Fortunate that none of them will remember this day for having lost someone. (Saturday was the anniversary of my Mother's death, in 1998. And Dad died on Veteran's Day. Ironically, both of them were vets.)

Been working on the house and gardening. Got an extra weekend day this week for puttering, but now I'm fixing dinner. One of you guys want to fill the cooler with ice and stick the beer in? It's salmon, steaks (cause there isn't quite enough salmon for all of us), corn on the cob, Italian bread, and watermelon. Not quite a Martha Stewart spread, but it'll taste good.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 May 10 - 06:07 PM

Jjanie... my day was not quite as exciting... thank goodness!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 31 May 10 - 06:03 PM

HI MOM,

You ain't dead yet, or we woulda put posies on your grave too.


Speaking of dead, glad I am that neither my Subaru or I are. When I saw that big Chevy SUV 4 car lengths ahead and three lanes to the right suddenly take a hard left and start heading in the wrong direction, directly in my lane, I had time to think that with both of us going 65 it was not going to be pretty. When the car two lanes to the right swerved to miss him, she hit the car one lane to the right, which got knocked all the way to the left berm, hitting the chevy, now going in the opposite direction in my lane, and also knocked the Chevy to the left berm, thus clearing him out of my lane, and I squeaked through, missing impact by about 6 inches and a split second, and able to steer over to the berm and out of the way before I got rear-ended. Not sure whose bumper it was, but it flew over my car and landed safely out of traffic.

The mostly badly damaged vehicle had come to a stop immediately opposite me on the right berm. Smoke was pouring from the car, and the young girl behind the wheel was just sitting there, conscious, but looking dazed.   I ran across the freeway before traffic started moving through again to check on her. (I have no idea how well I would have remembered any of my first responder training - boy, I'm glad it wasn't needed.)

By the time the police were there and were finished taking statements, traffic was moving again in all 4 lanes, and there I was, on the opposite side of the highway from my car. It felt quite grand to have the nice policeman stop all 4 lanes of traffic again, just so little ol' me could get back across the road.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 May 10 - 10:48 AM

It makes plants grow and flowers bloom, it's been used for years as everything from a snakebite cure to a facial beauty mask. Why wouldn't it work for Mom's kids?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 May 10 - 10:31 AM

The men of MOM are strong and proud
The women smart, good-looking
And always stand out in a crowd
With their beauty and home cooking.
The children all are four point oh,
And cute as bunny blessings,
And none of Mom's collective clan
Has a sin that's worth confessing.
They all are bright and do what's right,
PLain spoken, never stealthy.
And the reason this is true is that
BSing keeps them healthy!!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 May 10 - 09:53 AM

Alas, poor Mom, they do you wrong
To abandon you so precipitously....

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 30 May 10 - 10:53 PM

Eiseley, don't leave too many of those snickers around, please. I think I'm allergic to chocolate.

Oh, wait, the stuff they use in those bars to pass for chocolate is mostly emulsifier. Never mind.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 May 10 - 10:32 PM

I like the RFCs back then. I'll post some I have one of these days.

No, Amos, I could never be a cracker. I was born and raised in Illinois, the Sucker State.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 May 10 - 09:31 PM

Network Working Group                                  R. Callon, Editor
Request for Comments: 1925                                          IOOF
Category: Informational                                     1 April 1996


                      The Twelve Networking Truths

Status of this Memo

   This memo provides information for the Internet community. This memo
   does not specify an Internet standard of any kind. Distribution of
   this memo is unlimited.

Abstract

   This memo documents the fundamental truths of networking for the
   Internet community. This memo does not specify a standard, except in
   the sense that all standards must implicitly follow the fundamental
   truths.

Acknowledgements

   The truths described in this memo result from extensive study over an
   extended period of time by many people, some of whom did not intend
   to contribute to this work. The editor merely has collected these
   truths, and would like to thank the networking community for
   originally illuminating these truths.

1. Introduction

   This Request for Comments (RFC) provides information about the
   fundamental truths underlying all networking. These truths apply to
   networking in general, and are not limited to TCP/IP, the Internet,
   or any other subset of the networking community.

2. The Fundamental Truths

   (1) It Has To Work.

   (2) No matter how hard you push and no matter what the priority,
       you can't increase the speed of light.

       (2a) (corollary). No matter how hard you try, you can't make a
             baby in much less than 9 months. Trying to speed this up
             *might* make it slower, but it won't make it happen any
             quicker.



   (3) With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. However, this is
       not necessarily a good idea. It is hard to be sure where they
       are going to land, and it could be dangerous sitting under them
       as they fly overhead.

   (4) Some things in life can never be fully appreciated nor
       understood unless experienced firsthand. Some things in
       networking can never be fully understood by someone who neither
       builds commercial networking equipment nor runs an operational
       network.

   (5) It is always possible to aglutenate multiple separate problems
       into a single complex interdependent solution. In most cases
       this is a bad idea.

   (6) It is easier to move a problem around (for example, by moving
       the problem to a different part of the overall network
       architecture) than it is to solve it.

       (6a) (corollary). It is always possible to add another level of
             indirection.

   (7) It is always something

       (7a) (corollary). Good, Fast, Cheap: Pick any two (you can't
            have all three).

   (8) It is more complicated than you think.

   (9) For all resources, whatever it is, you need more.

       (9a) (corollary) Every networking problem always takes longer to
            solve than it seems like it should.

   (10) One size never fits all.

   (11) Every old idea will be proposed again with a different name and
       a different presentation, regardless of whether it works.

       (11a) (corollary). See rule 6a.

   (12) In protocol design, perfection has been reached not when there
       is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take
       away.


Security Considerations

   This RFC raises no security issues. However, security protocols are
   subject to the fundamental networking truths.

References

   The references have been deleted in order to protect the guilty and
   avoid enriching the lawyers.

Author's Address

   Ross Callon
   Internet Order of Old Farts
   c/o Bay Networks

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 May 10 - 09:17 PM

A subsaltine???? What, you couldn't pass the exam to be a cracker?



A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 May 10 - 08:09 PM

Of course I did. I have been "below the salt" all of my life. I was raised below the salt, I grew up there, I have no doubt that I will be buried there (hopefully I will be dead if that happens). I am a life-long subsaltine. In fact, I think I'll change my MC name to "Subsaltine" and see if anyone notices.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 May 10 - 07:34 PM

Eiseley has now done something fine,
Has seized the thirty-five and nine!
God bless her! then, we all do say
For moving Mom toward the next of Kay.


Rapaire:

You didn't have to speculate, because I told you. But when you DID speculate you speculated below the salt.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 30 May 10 - 07:29 PM

snicker

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 30 May 10 - 07:29 PM

Please?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 May 10 - 07:26 PM

But no, not even he would stoop so low...and I certainly wouldn't. Let someone like Eiseley have it.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 May 10 - 07:25 PM

If I don't take it Amos will.