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BS: The Mother of all BS threads
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: GUEST,Gluon Date: 15 Jun 15 - 07:14 PM Quark! Translation: "TARDIS? We don't need no steenking TARDIS!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 15 Jun 15 - 06:17 PM Fun conversation of the day: "Hello?" "Hallo, saiiiir, this is Rajo from "Windows TEchnical Department." "Oh, Fuck you, you bullshit artist! Why don't you get a real job?" End of conversation |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: gnu Date: 15 Jun 15 - 05:00 PM I bought a TARDIS on Ebay next week. It arrived last week and I don't have to pay for it until the end of next month. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 15 Jun 15 - 11:58 AM I built a TARDIS a couple of weeks ago. Well... Actually, it's a small storage shed for garden tools. But it looks like a TARDIS and if I ever get a hankering to visit unknown star systems, escape marauding Daleks, or pay Gluon a surprise visit, it'll probably do the job. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Stilly River Sage Date: 15 Jun 15 - 10:50 AM Build yourself a Tardis, Amos, and give it a go! I'm dog-sitting my friend Susie's pack of four red female pooches this week. So far I've got them calmed down at mealtime - they aren't crowding me now because they know there is no food until they sit and I hold their collar. After a suitable period, I point at the bowl and give the command "eat!" that they have mastered perfectly. By the time Susie arrives back home I hope to have them all sitting together in the same room and waiting to eat ONLY their own food when I tell them all "eat." Like I do with my pack of three. That alone will earn me the cash she paid me to feed her dogs. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 15 Jun 15 - 02:26 AM Awww, sweet friends, how like immortality it is to know you are there! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: gnu Date: 14 Jun 15 - 10:20 PM Yeah... me too. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Ebbie Date: 14 Jun 15 - 10:05 PM Amos, I love you! :) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 14 Jun 15 - 09:19 PM LOL!!! Damn, why didnt we think of that!! Mom, am I okay? I am on the edge of seven decades old, but when I walk the dog and we come to a chalked up hopscotch game on the sidewalk I always start at "1" and do the one-foot, two-foot little hop sequence until I hop out at the "10". Without fail. My dog, Maggie, is a dear friend, very quiet and patient, and is content to watch the hours of her life go ticking by without protest. I wish I could break the surly bonds and take her gallivanting among the galaxies, zooming from star to star and chasing cat-comets whenever we felt like it. But we are both sentenced to serve our time on this hard rock line of mortal being. We shall do so with decent grace, with dignity. But inside we are both saying, "Pfui!". |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 14 Jun 15 - 08:11 PM "If you don't stop hitting your sister, I'll take you to a baby changing station and change you into a frog!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 14 Jun 15 - 05:53 PM That explains why I never went and used one in my earlier years of parenting. I had my hands full enough to begin with. But maybe if you really understand the technology you could use one of them things to change a brat into a sensitive, considerate polite sorta baby? They couldn't have had very good marketing or they'd be billionaires by now. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 14 Jun 15 - 01:41 PM Actually, I don't think baby changing stations are for changing babies into other critters. They're more like the bill changers in Laundromats. Put a twenty-pound baby in, get four five-pound babies back. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: gnu Date: 14 Jun 15 - 01:16 PM SRS... yup. He sent a reply. I didn't read it. Think I just hooked a guy on my 1914 Dirty Thirty (with saddle ring) at $500. 15C with sun/cloud and a good breeze. Got my hoody on and my fingers are a bit cold. I am LOVIN it! Roasted fresh chicken with all the fixins to start soon. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Stilly River Sage Date: 14 Jun 15 - 12:25 PM BWL, that is one fast way to lose "baby weight." gnu, it is my experience that there are reasonable people shopping online, and there are opportunists, trying to take advantage of others. The reasonable people are apparent when they contact you, but the sharks are also conspicuous, and should be chased off promptly. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 14 Jun 15 - 12:04 PM But what if you had changed the baby into a prodigy instead of a puppy? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 14 Jun 15 - 06:18 AM Hi, Mom! Yesterday, I was in a public restroom that had a baby changing station. I'm glad they didn't have those when my kids were babies. I might have accidentally changed my son into a puppy. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: gnu Date: 14 Jun 15 - 05:51 AM I could make an offer of five magic beans for the cow and one magic pea upon her delivery of a healthy calf. Amos... like I said, I was polite during the first exchange with Bobby and I told him he could see the truck any time. That second email made it clear to me that Bobby wants a truck for free. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 14 Jun 15 - 12:33 AM Wow, you are one yough negotiator, Gnuzer! :D |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: maeve Date: 13 Jun 15 - 11:17 PM Advert for smooth talking gnu...local Craigslist: "I have a 3 year old belted Galloway cow for sale she is bread to my belted Galloway bull and dew late September asking 1500.00 hundred, she takes well to electric fence and bob wire. this will be her 2nd calf. just down sizing for next winter that is why I am selling her, she is a great with razing her calf's call me..." |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: gnu Date: 13 Jun 15 - 09:48 PM The first exchange was inane and I was polite. Then.............. I seen that you put 20,000 kms, but some people "forget" to list that their vehicle is a US vehicle... or forget to list that their vehicle may have a rebuilt title. Does the truck need anything? How are the tires? Any dents, dings, scratches, rust? How negotiable are you on your price? Thanks, Bobby ******************************************************** GARY OWENS To Bobby Today at 10:36 PM It needs a new owner. There are five tires. There might be a dent, ding, or scratch that I don't know about. As for rust, if you actually read the ad (like the mileage you didn't read properly), you would see that it has been Rust Checked EVERY year. Negotiable? Yeah. Tack on a thousand dollars for bullshit. Don't bother me any more. *************************************** I am a smooooth talkin salesman I am. >;-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: gnu Date: 13 Jun 15 - 05:49 PM I put 46 ads on Kijiji yesterday. Reasonable responses. I put three guns on Facebook groups NB Hunters and Hunting n Outdoor Classifieds. I get this..."Will u trade for a generator still have the box" and there is pick of a shitbox generator. Really? Like I am gonna trade one of the three guns (which one? two are antiques and one is a double with Damascus Twist barrels!) for a crap genie so that a moron can get a gun? If he can't formulate a proper thought or a sentence, what are the chances he has a PAL (Possession and Acquisition Licence)? Sigh. They are nice guns. Hate to see them go but I'll never use em in any way so better to find a good home for them. On the brighter side, I might have my truck sold. Fingers crossed! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: GUEST,Tiny Tim Date: 13 Jun 15 - 09:10 AM And Amos bless each and every one of us. And Amos bless Gluon too. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 13 Jun 15 - 12:26 AM I really need to bless BWL for his sensitivity and perceptiveness. He picked up on my "fabric of the universe" riff and tore a whole new strip with it. That's a dude and a half, right there, man. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: gnu Date: 12 Jun 15 - 07:13 AM Hahahahaaa! Great comments! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 12 Jun 15 - 04:04 AM That guy's lucky he only got kicked by a horse. The fellow who tried to mount Saint Helens was vaporized. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Ebbie Date: 12 Jun 15 - 02:37 AM How about Trigger? :) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 12 Jun 15 - 02:08 AM The comments are really droll. "He needs to learn that neigh means neigh." And "He just wanted a stable relationship." I;ve seen mounted tarpons and swordfish, eagles and bears. But I never knew someone who made a career of mounting horses. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Stilly River Sage Date: 12 Jun 15 - 12:48 AM And now for something completely different - I can't think of a better place to post this piece of BS. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 11 Jun 15 - 08:34 PM Yes, HST is included. For each yard of Fabric of the Universe you purchase for $8.95 you get your choice of Harry S. Truman, Hunter S. Thompson, or the Hubble Space Telescope. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: gnu Date: 11 Jun 15 - 06:59 PM $8.95 PER YARD? Is that $8.95 for each of my front and back yards? Does that include HST? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: GUEST,Gluon Date: 11 Jun 15 - 06:27 PM Quark! (Translation: "Snicker, snicker, chortle, chortle, guffaw!") |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Stilly River Sage Date: 11 Jun 15 - 04:31 PM Oops! I see a worm hole in this bolt . . . no wonder it's marked down. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 11 Jun 15 - 04:19 PM AT THE QUILTER'S EMPORIUM! FABRIC OF THE UNIVERSE ONLY $8.95 PER YARD! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Stilly River Sage Date: 11 Jun 15 - 02:19 PM I'll have to watch those films one of these days. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 11 Jun 15 - 08:18 AM Most people shop for Matrix cloth at Worldviews R Us, but I prefer to browse the remainder tables at Paradigms-A-Million. And you can sometimes find really good deals on Matrix Cloth at thrift stores. I once paid 99¢ for an entire bolt of Youthful Idealism that had belonged to an old hippie who decided to become a dot-com millionaire instead. Then, just a couple of weeks later, I found a few yards of Crass Materialism that had belonged to the same guy! He'd donated it when he was forced to redecorate using Homeless and Destitute. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 11 Jun 15 - 12:08 AM My question is what about MAtrix Fabric? I am running out rapidly, am beginning to see through walls and have every-day scenery disappear in front of me as a result of intensive meditation on the fickleness of Maya. So I need a wholesale supplier to patch things up to at least maintain some semblance of courteous agreement on the way things seem to be. Any suggestions? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Stilly River Sage Date: 10 Jun 15 - 10:01 AM Does Pat know that Amazon does International shipping and they bought up a large fabric store a while back. Let your fingers do the shopping (though it is nice to actually see and feel the fabric in person). |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: gnu Date: 10 Jun 15 - 08:48 AM I was looking for something else and found this... Canada? Why? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 10 Jun 15 - 12:54 AM Because of the cascade of truth that has flown therefrom into every Western heart to greater or lesser degree. That's why. Also, very good drinking songs and such. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: gnu Date: 09 Jun 15 - 07:03 AM Ireland? Why? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 08 Jun 15 - 10:38 PM It's not every day you see the words "crazed" and "quilters" next door to one another. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: GUEST,Señor Rapparee Date: 08 Jun 15 - 06:31 PM The black pudding is excellent, as is the white. Creans is an excellent lager, but the whisky is still coming along -- a year or two should do it. Pray for our laundry!!! Tomorrow: Cork, then Dublin, then we're on our own. Me and three crazed quilters, and I spent €71.50 to ship much fabric and one or tiny little books back today. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 08 Jun 15 - 11:42 AM I'm not sure they serve scrapple in Dingle. And I'm fairly certain they don't serve grits. But, being Irish, they probably serve a nearly infinite number of breakfast potato dishes, just like they do in Idaho. That should make Rap feel right at home. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Stilly River Sage Date: 08 Jun 15 - 10:58 AM I don't think Rap is scrapping with family, I think he's killing bacteria. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Amos Date: 08 Jun 15 - 10:24 AM Scrapping with people you love is a major drag, psychically speaking. I recommend monk-like silence and internal serenity. Or a trip to Dingle. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Stilly River Sage Date: 07 Jun 15 - 05:36 PM It's hot so I'm pacing myself - working outside then coming in to cool down. Our rain has passed. Perhaps a little of our warmth will creep across the border and you can leave the heat pump off till September. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Ebbie Date: 07 Jun 15 - 02:09 PM Almighty Mouse to the Rescue |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: gnu Date: 06 Jun 15 - 10:56 PM Had to put the heat pump in heat mode today. Frost warning for tonight. I am LOVIN IT! The moons are lining up for a short summer and a long, dry, cool fall. I shall enjoy it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: gnu Date: 06 Jun 15 - 06:10 PM I'd start a thread but it would turn into another shitfest like the genocide thread. Lest we forget... http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/d-day-letters-from-canadian-combat-cameraman-detail-day-to-day-experiences-in-wwii-1.3102491 |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads From: Stilly River Sage Date: 06 Jun 15 - 04:07 PM I sometimes put a bowl with an inch of beer out in the garden overnight. In the morning I find marinated escargot, ready to fix for lunch or dinner. |
