BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 May 14 - 04:30 PM

Not on the Cat, certainly, but possibly in some old newsgroup such as alt.religion,bullshit, for example.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 12 May 14 - 11:51 AM

The Diane Rehm show is interviewing an author who wrote about Orville and Wilbur Wright. Now there is a great source of pontificating and BS. Early aviation and "pioneer patents." I wonder if we could get a pioneer patent for MOAB? Has anyone looked to see if there is a longer thread extant?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 May 14 - 10:48 AM

Post? You WANT to POST? Well, me bucko, you only HOPE to post! Interdimensional pirates have seized control of the CPU in the server and even now they are bailing the backup bit buckets of bytes, throwing them into to seething seas of semiconductors! P-junctions are prancing the plank and if/then statements cringe in their own heat sinks! Nay, until the Forces Of Good finally prevail you can only HOPE to post, and in the meantime the black flag of "rm -r *" flies from the fan's tail!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 May 14 - 10:15 AM

I CAN POST! Maybe. We'll see.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 12 May 14 - 10:08 AM

Tra la! Tra la!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 11 May 14 - 12:41 PM

The Texas lottery runs twice a week and I figured out a sure-fire way to win $104 every year - don't buy lottery tickets. It's more than I won when I was buying them.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 May 14 - 07:01 PM

I wouldn't bet on the Magic. I don't even like basketball. Now. Yankee football, I do well. Did well. Used to do well. Don't bet much anymore. Baseball? Well, it's not even a real sport unless yer a Cubs fan with money to throw away. Curling? I would but nobody carries it. The horses don't pay. So, I throw $5 at Lotto Max when the pot is $50M and has "extra" $1M payouts.

Just found out my buddy's lad has prostatitis. A tad in his mid 20s. Never heard of it and I woulda googled it long ago if my doc had heard of it on accounta... well, you know. When I read it can cause lower back pain, I near shit myself. When I read that it can be worsened by stress, I shit on my doc. Oddly enough, I immediately felt a bit better and actually just walked 1.3km without stopping. I intend to go back out for another walk tonight now knowing I might only be an imperfect asshole.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 May 14 - 11:03 AM

I didn't win the Lotto last night eithrer. Well, I got one number right and it was a "Mega" which means I get $1. THe interesting thing is that each person in the huge population who buys these tickets stands in the crossroads of two entirely incompatible views.   They know the statistical odds are one in 147 million that they will win the Big Tamale. ut at the same time they know that it COULD happen, and HAS happened for SOME people, so why not them?   In the endless war between Magic and Math, it is human nature to keep one ear cocked toward Magic.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 May 14 - 07:27 AM

I didn't win the Lotto Max last night so the party for tonight is cancelled and, as I won't be buying a ticket for the next one due to the fact that it's a paltry $13M, no party next week either.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 May 14 - 12:40 AM

Two grandiloquent punny posts lost to the Great Submit Chasm! Oh, fie!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 May 14 - 10:53 PM

I don't want to put a burr under anyone's saddle, but I'm off cowboy shooting tomorrow. Of course, we always eat what we shoot. Tough, stringy, and tasting of cheap beer and snoose, but ya gotta keep the population in check or they'll overrun their environment. Then the next thing ya know there'll even be clusters of cowboys in town and everywhere...in roller skatin' halls and scarin' the horses and who know where else.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 May 14 - 09:50 PM

Amos, your feeble attempts at punning might baiter be described as carping. You cod do baiter, but you have to be hooked on puns to do so and you do net seem to be. Commitment to the pun is needed, not some feeble (albeit reel) lines. Without it you risk spinning out of control, and I'll bait that you trout out your sinkers every chance you get. But cast away, for I will not stop yawl and who knows? Someday you might land one that doesn't get away.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 May 14 - 07:31 PM

oooooooo. Puns. I love 'em!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 May 14 - 01:06 AM

Just a matter of scale, after all, as long as you aren't Piscean the soup...

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 May 14 - 12:08 AM

Fish stories certainly elevate the complexity of the BS.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 May 14 - 11:29 PM

My BS is strictly in line with my earlier statement.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 May 14 - 06:45 PM

THOSE minnows? The fish I caught didn't get away, no sir! We cleaned 'em and ate 'em, just like Nature Intended. Here's a photo my brother took of one of them before we hauled it ashore and ate it.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 May 14 - 06:14 PM

The one that got away? I am thankful. This pic of my boss with my Sunday mornin catch in Nain, Labrador takes a half hour to tell properly. It includes me pissin my pants as I swam the last bit to shore with them fish (cod and char) on my back. No way was I leavin my fish to a Killer Whale. They say Orcas won't eat humans... that's on accounta the ones they ate ain't around to warn the rest of us. https://www.flickr.com/photos/15565423@N05/9641015510/

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 May 14 - 05:45 PM

Every fish I catch is bigger than the last.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 08 May 14 - 05:29 PM

Or yours, perhaps? :)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 May 14 - 09:33 AM

Caught a fish one time that was bigger than yours.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 May 14 - 07:06 AM

Me needer.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 May 14 - 11:22 PM

Okay, I shall no longer put any effort into BSing.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 May 14 - 10:37 PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDV1Wq-edCo&feature=share.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 May 14 - 09:29 PM

This is impressive...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDV1Wq-edCo&feature=share

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 May 14 - 08:52 PM

I wish I was that ;ively still, Still! We are going pretty much retail, though, but the beauty will be there in copious servings.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 07 May 14 - 05:41 PM

I think 50555 is impressive.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 May 14 - 03:03 PM

Amos, one of my best long mountaineering backpack trips was up into the Olympics. We traversed a section of the range from Appleton Pass and came out on the Elwa. High anxiety a couple of times as we crossed areas not exactly ready for hikers (would have been easier with anchors and ropes on-belay).

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 May 14 - 11:50 AM

Yer Costco don't put no Babies Breath in with the roses no more. Ya gotta buy it separate and it's $11. Worth every penny. One of the vases looks positively gorgeous. I went to Sobeys to get a matching vase... you know... like the ones I have been walking past since my Bday. None. The other vase is a tall bluish rig that is too narrow for a dozen roses and BsB to be displayed properly but it's the thought that counts. Gotta get me a pic of the nice one. I be quite the flower deranger me.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 May 14 - 11:30 AM

I like to imagine what virtual Everests of accomplishment might manifest if The Great Rapparree applied 20% of the energy he expends in BSing to some real creative valuable work. Mirabile hypothetical dictu! I know it ain't gonna happen, but I enjoy fantasizing about it. It's how I roll.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 May 14 - 10:02 AM

Downhill on greased skids, huh?

Amos, if you ever took the time to notice, my surname is very, very similar to that "Mr. Zimmerman" uses. It is intentionally that way to save myself from screaming mobs of groupies and a shower of "unmentionables" that I really have no use for except to stock a used lingerie shop. Suffice to say that my Uncle Bob is memorialized, as is my cousin and family friend Vern Zimmerman. I took the next name to doubly insure my privacy...and to honor Dylan ail Don of Wales.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 May 14 - 07:54 AM

"... after that?" I think we all know.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 May 14 - 10:25 PM

For resons I deo not fathom I am drawn of late to long torrid poems-inp-music by the national poet of my generation, Bib Zimmerman Dylan. I have successfully absorbed and performed in public the winding tale of "Tangled Up in Blue", and tonight have begun to gingerly wrap my wits and fingers around this strange surreal gem:

      Am       E      Am
Seen the arrow on the doorpost
Am       E      Am
Saying this land is condemned
          E       G    D    F    G Am
All the way from New Orleans to Jeruselem
    Am       E      Am
I travelled to East Texas
Am       E      Am
Where many martyrs fell
          E      G          D
And I know no one can sing the blues
F          G       Am
Like Blind Willie McTell

Well I heard that hooter singing
As they were taking down the tents
The stars above the barren trees
Were his only audience
Them charcoal gypsy maidens
Can strut their feathers well
But nobody can sing the blues like Blind Willie McTell

See them big plantations burning
Hear the cracking of the whips
Smell that sweet magnolia blooming
See the ghosts of slavery ships
I can hear them tribes a moaning
Hear that undertaker's bell
Nobody can sing the blues like Blind Willie McTell

There's a woman by the river
With some fine young handsome man
He's dressed up like a squire
Bootleg whiskey in his hand
There's a chain gang on a highway
I can hear them rebels yell
But I know no one can sing the blues like Blind Willie McTell

Well God is up in Heaven
And we are what was his
But power,greed and corruptable seed
Seem to be all that there is
I'm gazing out the window
of the St. James Hotel
And I know no one can sing the blues like Blind Willie McTell

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 May 14 - 08:14 PM

...my perfection at birth.

What happened after that?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 May 14 - 07:31 PM

Aww, Gnuzer, you are te best son a Mum ever had.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 May 14 - 04:01 PM

Sweet you-know-who! Just remembered. I gots ta get me arse ta the Costco fer roses tomorrow... two dozen with a descent amount of Baby's Breath (WTF do they call it THAT? Babies don't brush.) fer less than a dozen with SFA B'sB anywhere else. I get's a dozen red and a dozen white. The red symbolize her pain and suffering and the white symbolize my perfection at birth. Already got Mum a card. Lobster will be on sale this Thursday. Already got a bottle (475ml) of bubbly. Hopefully, it will make up for her broken dentures which she must have by now... the roast of beef I just cooked and served is as tough as leather even when ya slice it see-thru thin. Jaysus! Somewhere in Alberta, there is a big farm sayin... "They bought that shit for $2.88 a pound! Let's ship more." NO more 'boneless' blade roasts fer MY mum. Lobster, champagne and roses.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 May 14 - 02:59 PM

Nothing more adorable than a cute cat unconscious with its little pink tongue carefully hung out of its wee lips.

I am finalizing plans for an assault on the Olympiads in a coupla weeks. Watch out, Seattle!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 06 May 14 - 02:01 PM

2014 Getaway

Friday Sep 26, 2014 at 4:00 PM through Sep 29, 2014 at 11:00 AM
West River United Methodist Conference Center West River Conference Center (West River,MD)
Registration is not open yet.

2015 Getaway

Friday Oct 02, 2015 at 4:00 PM through Oct 05, 2015 at 11:00 AM
West River United Methodist Conference Center West River Conference Center (West River,MD)
Registration is not open yet.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 May 14 - 01:41 PM

Well, iffen I'm around. Don't know yet what's gonna happen that far in advance. Don't even know when Git Away! is yet.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 06 May 14 - 01:29 PM

Good job with those fe-lions, Amos! And aren't they cute when they're asleep?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 06 May 14 - 07:47 AM

I can't afford enough for EVERYONE at the Getaway- you would have to share it with , oh, about 150 people…

How about we get together Friday before it starts and find one?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 14 - 09:48 PM

Well, I'm no physicist, jist a old, retired, broke-down country liberrian. But iffen I was you I'd jist send me one er two of these. Full, of course. Then you ain't got ta worry bout no red-blue shift.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 05 May 14 - 01:51 PM

Well, I was planning on borrowing a rail-gun….


But I'm looking into the rum now.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 May 14 - 01:47 PM

If you can pitch fast enough to shift the blues, you have an interesting career ahead of you!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 05 May 14 - 12:33 PM

Rapparee,

How fast do I need to throw the JW at you to shift it blue enough for you?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 May 14 - 11:53 AM

Did you know the "Gem State" is Idaho?

Is Idaho where Mr. Potato Head is from?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 14 - 10:32 AM

I just don't see how people can live in such places, gnu! You really should move somewhere with better weather. Repulse Bay, perhaps, or Iglulik.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 May 14 - 07:21 AM

Flurries on the fifth of the fifth here.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 14 - 12:06 AM

As long as the fifth of Forth has froth, forsooth.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 May 14 - 11:51 PM

I'll offer a fifth of Forth to that.