BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jul 13 - 07:40 PM

Gnu,

Your Inscribed Edytione has been entrusted to the Poste Orifice.

I don't know how long it takes, but the envelope you sent on the 4th arrived here today.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jul 13 - 06:43 PM

Thanks for your kind remarks. If you want it inscribed you have to send me the dough. If that is not of great importance to you, order it through Amazon.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Jul 13 - 04:41 PM

Ah, good. Again, I ask, should I buy from you directly? Or from Amazon?

Meanwhile, I'm about 90% through the copy I already have. Terrific. And I really worry about what may happen to Suzannah and Muhaybee. This shows how well you have written about your characters, that the reader starts to care a great deal about them. That's one of the keys to great writing.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jul 13 - 04:12 PM

A box of BOOKS has arriveds at last. Gnu's will be going out this afternoon. I put in a 17-hour day yesterday, drove to LA, was up at 4:30 and crashed home at last at about 10:30. Whoof!

I wish more people were buying Beyond the Cascade, honest I do. :D


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Jul 13 - 02:04 PM

There is no solution where Shane is concerned.

By the way, he's already working on an outline for his second book, even though the first one is barely started. The 2nd book will be called: "Flipped If I Know....?"

It will take on some of the great unanswered questions of life, like...

Is it safe to eat pizza after it's been layin' for 3 days behind the couch?

Skunky, left-over beer...can you still get drunk on it?

Can you plead insanity to get off a breaking and entering charge?

Do you need an education to think? Or is that a false myth that is spread by the govnerment and the teechers to, like, provide enployment?

How do you calm donw a flippin' angry woman and get her in "the mood"???

Etc.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jul 13 - 01:35 PM

But think of the blockages that would be removed!

Wait, the waste water treatment plant would overflow and wash into the Great Lakes, filling them to overflowing, flooding both Canada and the US with, um, stuff. And it couldn't ever be stopped up again!

Well, it seemed like a good solution.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Jul 13 - 01:33 PM

Anyway, there's no delivery blockage to Canada. This country has a healthy respect for money. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Jul 13 - 12:34 PM

Trust me. You don't want to do that.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jul 13 - 10:20 AM

A good high colonic could clear the blockage. We could stick the nozzle in a Certain Person in Blind River.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jul 13 - 02:02 AM

That'll do, LH! Unless there's a delivery blockage to Canada. I haven't seen my delivery yet, either!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Jul 13 - 12:16 AM

Will do. Thanks for the tip.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 12 Jul 13 - 12:12 AM

LH, if you buy it through Amazon, click on the link at Mudcat so Max gets a little of the action.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 13 - 11:05 PM

I went to a meeting this evening and learned something a bit...odd? frightening?

Some history: the Pocatello airport can last 747s -- it was a bomber training base in WW2. Off in the desert north of here it is said that there are still unexploded bombs, dropped by the trainees. The Navy also used the area to test 5" anti-aircraft cannon. Other things were done in other places around here.

About a week and half ago a fire broke out in Bureau of Land Management lands near 2 1/2 Mile Road (it was called, oddly enough, "The Two and Half Mile Road Fire"). A little over a thousand acres burned.

UNREPORTED in/on the news was that some of the fire fighters found two somethings that looked like a football attached to a length of pipe. Two more were found in a nearby gully; the fire had NOT burned over them.

As they were described, as above, I said, "Panzerfaust." Apparently at least four of them were brought to Pocatello and shot in the hills east of I-15 "back in the day."

Anyway, the military was called in. The four were bundled together, some C-4 was wrapped around them, and they were exploded about 70 years after they were made.

Ya wanna take a hike in the hills around here? Never know what you might stumble across.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 13 - 06:35 PM

Well when you turn it right-up you can see Lincoln is holding a banana.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Jul 13 - 01:33 PM

I bet you don't have the one where his eyes are crossed and his tongue is hanging out. I was lucky...snagged it at a Thrift store in Espanola...they had no idea of its worth. One day I'll sell it on Ebay and retire, buy a yacht, and finally secure that long-delayed date with Winona.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 13 - 01:23 PM

Nah, I got a twenty where a picher of Lincoln is printed upside down. He's sucker enough to take it -- I got it from ma mother in law, who got it from her momma who worked at the Bureau of Engraving and Printing in the "rejects" room.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Jul 13 - 10:09 AM

Send him an old $20 St Gauden's Double Eagle instead. I'm sure he'd be happy with that.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 13 - 09:54 AM

I'll be sendin' ya a double sawbuck fer than "book" ya writ.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Jul 13 - 09:31 AM

Amos, I may buy another copy of your book to give to a friend. How do you prefer I do the purchase? Amazon? Direct from you? Tell me.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Jul 13 - 08:04 AM

My order of books should arrive tonight, and yours will go out Friday. I am not waiting on Jackson's horse, sir. Just inventory.,


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Jul 13 - 09:56 PM

Wait a minute!!! Whaddya mean yer gonna post the book as soon as ya get the coin? WTF is that shit? Ya think I would say I sent it but didn't? $20??? A measly $20? I feel more than slightly slighted. Who do you take me for, sir? When have ever been not a man of his word?

And, Sally doesn't count. I was only 15. Ooooh dear Sally. She was such a good bad girl. She used to flirt with me and say her hands were cold and put them in my pockets to warm them... she warmed my... ahem... heart.

So... yer Jackson is on a horse eh, A. If the horse dies during interrogation at the border, I guess I'll never get to read your book.

Ya know. This is kinda funny. I changed a USD 50 inta a 20 and 2 x 10 and 5 fer ta get that 20 I sent ya what I got from this redneck hick in a town called Pocotellyah er sumpin like that on a similar book deal. Course, I didn't sign it on accounta tweren't my book.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 13 - 09:15 PM

Poo. I can find stuff on anybody, prit near. And because I know how to do this I know that others can as well, so I actually live in a cave and post stuff on the World Wide Web using my psychotropopathetic powers, Rest assured, I only use them for The Good, usually.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jul 13 - 04:55 PM

I have PMd you my own address, Sir Booque. I am also pleased to report that my GoogleMaps picture is fairly recent!

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 10 Jul 13 - 03:28 PM

You can't google him and find out everything, right down to the flowers in his front yard and the color roof on the house? Yup. It's in there.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 13 - 02:24 PM

Amos, that is to say. Please PM me your address.

Merci.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 13 - 01:56 PM

By the way, would PM me your address?

Danke. Tak. Gracias. Obrigato.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 13 - 01:18 PM

Amos, we're talking about bananas in the Olde Weste now. I know that you're old and it's getting hard to understand that the world is changing around you much more quickly than you would like. If you can't keep up with the bananas, Nang Tani may getcha.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jul 13 - 11:52 AM

I respect your precision, Sir Booque, even as I thumb my nose at your intensity of focus. I knew you were going to call out the reference to postcards. But I left it there, glowing in the moonlight like a radioactive mackerel, because it was so much semantically superior to the more precise "letters". The word "postcards" carries overtones of the time-honored post, and resonates with the other meanings of "post", including horsemanship, and at the same time reflects on the flimsiness of dreams such as those invoked to assert the reality of the Pony, a house of cards both economically and in terms of modern fancies. For all these reasons, I left it in, and for one reason only, you called it out. And I knew you would do so. But for all these reasons, I left it in.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Jul 13 - 11:37 AM

LOL!!! Yeah, I can soooo picture that. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 13 - 11:06 AM

Yup, ol' Dingus never tasted a banana. Neither did a lot of them Olde Weste gunne menne. Yes, that could be a reason why they turned to crime and outlawry. Imagine what would be the effect if the Clantons and Lawreys had been able to sit down and enjoy banana splits with the Earps and Doc Holliday at the OK Soda Fountain! Or Owen Wister's Virginian saying, "Smile when you offer me a banana."

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Jul 13 - 09:54 AM

You telling me that Jesse James never had the chance to eat a banana? That's tragic. No wonder he turned to a life of crime.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 13 - 01:55 AM

Bananas weren't imported then. Like the chimps, they'd rot in shipment.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jul 13 - 10:57 PM

If only they'd had Chimps as riders! Chimps will work hard for just a few bananas a day. This could have made the vital difference.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 13 - 01:50 PM

Didn't carry postcards, carried letters written on the finest, thinnest paper available. And it wasn't cheap, so it was pretty much limited to essential business matters and stuff like Lincoln's First Inaugural Address.

In the West, especially in California, it was called "the Pony." The riding ended in Sacramento (or St. Joe on the other end); from Sacramento the mochilla was carried to SF by steamboat.

Assuming, of course, that it got to either end. The Paiute War, blizzards, wildfires, dust storms and other things made the ride less than peaceful. Getting to your last station and finding the next rider sick, absent, or refusing to ride was annoying to say the least, because that meant you had to ride on. Finding the next station burned to the ground was also annoying, but oddly enough the riders of the COC&PPEC had one heckuva work ethic.

There were also express (mail) riders from one town to another.

Never, or very rareful, was money carried in any form other than what might be in the riders pockets. Dangerous and too heavy.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 Jul 13 - 01:12 PM

Ka - boom!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jul 13 - 11:21 AM

Yes, Virginia, there was a Pony Express.

It lives on to this day, as it lived in years past. It flourishes in small boys' hearts as they read under the bedsheets with a flashlight. It lives in the minds of young girls still using training wheels as they tear down the Elm Street hill to deliver the mail under a hail of Comanche arrows. It lives in the dreams and memories of middle managers stifling under the weight of neckties and carbon copies, and in the faint fancies of bored suburban housewives who hear the pounding of hooves and the slapping of leather in a far-away dream as they vacuum their wall-to-wall carpets. It carries these dreams as surely and as bravely as the COC&PPEC once carried postcards. In these hearts, and minds, and aspirations, I can assure you that the Pony Express rides on.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 13 - 10:17 AM

Russell, Majors, and Waddell ran the Pony Express, not the Post Office. It died bankrupt and deeply in debt. Besides, the Pony Express never existed, but the Central Overland California & Pikes Peak Express Company did.

Please be more precise in the future and refer the COC&PPEC. Thank you for your small, even minute, contribution to historical accuracy.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 Jul 13 - 09:53 AM

I've seen/crossed over the pony express route out in the arid desert southwest. It might have been in Nevada. Did you know it only ran for two years? And I don't believe there was an Idaho branch. You'll have to try weather balloons and cross your fingers that a prevailing wind cooperates.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Jul 13 - 08:39 AM

A... maybe the Pony Express horse is an Arab? Homeland Insecurity may be waterboarding it at this very moment. But, any of Her Majesty's mighty Postal Steeds, when asked questions or interrogated with "enhanced" methods would simple say, "Neigh!"

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jul 13 - 08:17 AM

I am now past the section about the Time Mongers. More great stuff.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jul 13 - 03:14 AM

My, oh, my!! Bellicose rants in super-large type, but covering all sides. How very Republican of you, Sir Booque. I am sorry you don't have something more enjoyable to do such as reading Beyond the Cascade.

Gnu I don't know what could be keeping your letter from arriving, but as soon as it does your book will be on its way.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 08 Jul 13 - 11:55 PM

That sounded like a lovely dinner and evening, LH. Back there before the distraction of the Royal Library and the large print. (If the Royal Library has all large print books, as that big writing tended to suggest, that facility would be immense. As it would be if the books are all on cuneiform. Let's hope they were rational and kept the font and the page materials on a normal scale.)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jul 13 - 09:31 PM

Actually, the china there is quite nice. So are the carpets, paintings, silver, and furniture. If you DO decide to burn it down again, please get approval on the prerequisite forms needed for outdoor burning and be sure to file an Environmental Impact Statement (wait for approval). Otherwise you would get in trouble with the DC and Federal governments and you'd NEVER get clear of the red tape if that happened.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Jul 13 - 05:48 PM

Leave sleepings dogs quiet. Her Majesty's loyal subjects can't be arsed to burn your White House again... unless ya got even better dishes than the ones they took as spoil the last time. Got any pics? Of course, I suppose if Canucks did go after more dishes, they would be tempted to go after Martha Stewart's house. Not that you Yanks would care.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jul 13 - 05:23 PM

BRITTANIA RULES THE WAVES, BUT THE YANKEES OWN THE SEAS!!!

HUZZAH FOR OLD IRONSIDES!!!

SINK BARCLAY!!! HUZZAH FOR PERRY!!!

DON'T GIVE UP THE SHIP!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Jul 13 - 04:33 PM

Down with the perfidious Yankee invaders!!!

Fill the Niagara River with their corpses!!!

BURN the White House down!!!

Kick James Madison's sorry ass across the Potomac!!!

Britannia rules the waves!!!

Etc... ;-D

War of 1812

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jul 13 - 04:09 PM

FREE TRADE AND NO IMPRESSMENT!!!
54-40 OR FIGHT!!!
BRITS OUT OF BOSTON!!!
END THE HUDSON BAY MONOPOLY!!!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Jul 13 - 03:47 PM

Rap would be a soo-in and would likely get a nithood for his exemplary service. Alas, the pay is a paltry pittance! An insult to such as he. Of course, if he were to apply, I am sure final salary negotiations would be well in his favour.

"... a book that is so cool you almost hope it never ends." I am chompping at the bit! When can I be saddled up with such a gem? When will the pony express shit upon my front lawn while a fearless courrier places such a treasure in my ... hmmm... makes me sign for it? Keep me informed of the shipping details so I can track this sucker, A, and manage my schedule appropriately in order to avoid the dreaded "Yer truck wasn't in the driveway so we figgered ya weren't home an it was hot so we didn't wanna wait at the door ta see iffin ya were home so ya gotta go ta yer Sobeys grocery store Postal Outlet tamorrah an hope we didn't lose it. Don't ferget ta bring this here card and some picture ID eh er yer fucked agin." I hate that!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jul 13 - 02:01 PM

Rapparree's dream job has just becpome available. He should act promptly.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Jul 13 - 02:00 PM

Heh! Well, I abandoned it for the weekend because of the folk festival, but I am just about to go to my favorite Vietnamese/Thai restaurant where I can eat a leisurely meal and then drink hot Jasmine tea and devour a few more chapters of "Cascade", a book that is so cool you almost hope it never ends.

Meanwhile, Shane is hard at work on the first draft of "Beyond Drunk and Disorderly - a Memwar"....or...is he just hard at work on the first draft, period? Beer, that is.

I hope he succeeds in finding backers. That boy needs a sense of purpose, not to mention a source of income.