BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 02:29 PM

I positively lust for these little opportunities to condescend, Amos. I experience a frisson of delight when they come along.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 02:12 PM

BWL:

Hey, hold on!! Just because I have had one two too many irony tablets, doesn't mean it ain't BS!! Besides, it got LH to reveal his condescending snarky side. How cool is that??

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 01:59 PM

LOL!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 01:41 PM

British comedy anyone?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FdSaWW9vuow

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 01:24 PM

Ah! It is good to see Amos showing a little humility and self-criticism. This means we will not have to give him a good slapping at the next sissy boy slap party. Ed, that was probably the most bizarre short film I have seen yet. In fact, I may now be able to say that "I've seen everything".

I didn't see Shane anywhere among the participants. He would be horrified and disgusted by that film. He has a deep hatred for that sort of sissy boy stuff. He calls such people "winky-twisters" and/or "corkpullers".

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 12:58 PM

Every now and then, we need a reminder that this is The Mother of All BS Threads, not just The Mother of All Threads.

The last few posts have provided such a reminder.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 11:34 AM

The noble and forgiving Rapaire has forgiven you. Noblesse oblige, you know.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 11:31 AM

No, not at all. As with all things MOAB (including applause for chansons de geste) it is merely an option. The trick is in who chooses which options.

SOmetimes we make the wrong choices. I for example, have repeatedly chosen to lampoon the various eccentricities of Rapaire and Little Hawk in these pages. This, I think, was morally an error. I need to learn the True Power Of Forgiving Everything.





A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 11:23 AM

Class? Is that a requirement here? Why didn't you say so?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 11:05 AM

It gives a great frisson, Ed, to see you use so rare an expression as "chanson de geste" in a MOAB thread. I have always maintained you added class to this joint, and Gawd knows after the moral terpitude being condoned by LH and Raspaire around here, we can use it.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 10:24 AM

Ed:

It is bizarre enough to fit into LH's repertory of overheated imaginings. Why are you even looking at it? Is there something you need to be telling us, now?

Rapaire's list has inspired me so I am going to take a day off work and try each of these techniques.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 10:06 AM

I reviewed this again....is that Shane in the background?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHc3pKsUIas

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 08:46 AM

After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men -- he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women -- she loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Fenton,


Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:

June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in House wares - get on it right away."

August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.

September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.

December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"

December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"

Regards,

Harvey W. Pringlegast
Attorney at Law
Wal-Mart

I think there's some really good ideas in here....

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 06:11 AM

Maybe not a "chanson de geste" but those are already taken.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 03:24 AM

Yes. But it's not epic.   Like some works.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Dec 09 - 07:53 PM

That Mingulay Boat Song is a beauty.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Dec 09 - 07:43 PM

"Amos" (sometimes written as "ah'mos") is an approximate phonetic representation of how the English word "almost" is pronounced in Floribama.

Example: I wuz ah'mos heffway 'tween Munson an' Baker when I hit a deer an' it fuktup mah ret front tar.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 09 Dec 09 - 07:33 PM

I always tend to mix up my threads with my posts....guess its why I ended up with a stake in my underwear:)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 09 Dec 09 - 07:31 PM

I have to admit, I feel a bit guilty that other good posts have so few posts....while this one has so many....it seems so unChristian....I would have expected folks to flock to the womenand lotions thread. One never can predict what turns Mudcats elder cranks.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Dec 09 - 07:22 PM

A MOS in this context stands for Master of Style although occasionally it stands for Maker of Songs or MOAB's Oldest Son depending on who you listen to. It has NOTHING to do with metallic oxide semiconductors.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 09 Dec 09 - 07:17 PM

Oh well another interlude, close by:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6AlCTRrwlM&NR=1

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 09 Dec 09 - 07:14 PM

A musical interlude, after the rapid 33 posting

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=393AHRf0-J4

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 09 Dec 09 - 06:50 PM

Pssst....don't tell A mos...But, a seret is a person who is imaging in his mind different scenarios- bad or good. (urban dictionary....I know the wordsome number snatcher never goes there....(oh, ho, ho and a bottle of rum).

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 09 Dec 09 - 06:45 PM

He posts like a sea desiring poet....but, what actually is a mos, the magic poster, who contrived by the sea?

Could he represent the common man on the street or represent a long channel ? Could he signify Latin customs or a curious gaseous envelope of air (as in at mos phere)?

I think me not, Mister Man..

Could the seret lie here in web land?

http://www.acronymfinder.com/MOS.html

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Dec 09 - 06:42 PM

This perspective is only true, sir, when one is either built upside down or has one's head in an uncomfortable dark location.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Dec 09 - 06:22 PM

One does not "stoop" to plagarism. One rises up to it, at the same time raising the value and status of that which was plagarised.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Dec 09 - 05:30 PM

Well, I congratulate Amos on his epic saga. He has managed to masterfully borrow virtually every hackneyed cliche known to the entire body of seafaring verse, and yet avoided stooping to actual plagiarism. Bravo!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Dec 09 - 04:57 PM

Surely you jest. My good taste is legendary, and that is why I know people like Penelope Rutledge and William Shatner. Are you aware that I have been awarded a T-GORF?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Dec 09 - 04:42 PM

Ach, LH, you never did have any taste. Stick to your monkeys and slum-bums, eh?

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Dec 09 - 04:40 PM

I disagree. It couldn't be any verse! ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Dec 09 - 04:34 PM

Once a new yak, always a new yak, I always say. Mom, did you get depressed reading that long, long maritime ballad? It's not as long as "The Ancient Mariner", you know!! It could be much verse.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Dec 09 - 12:26 PM

Lo, how the BS loud does rage,
Among the sleepy threads,
And draws the readers of the page
To shake their sleepy heads
How turley roond the tome doth grow,
How glissone goes its measure,
As on and up she boldly goes,
Where no man knows the pressure.
How stringly fired is her ween!
How glimly doon, her tripple!
Beneath the glumringed stars between,
A dampling, struttering stipple!
No lass in herbs can make her less
Nor lissome manny slattern,
For she has all our strove behest
And heaven's gandering pattern.
So come forth Une, Deus, Tray
And plaster thrice the wooly slab
For thou hast cantilevered Day
On the brow of proud MOAB!

g.g. thumbrings
Doonwich Porridge, New Yak, 1934

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Dec 09 - 09:01 AM

I want some of that "human dram" Amos was on about a while back. I deserve a dram or six.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Dec 09 - 03:31 AM

Sanctimony --especially fraudulent sanctimony--ill becomes you.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Dec 09 - 12:21 AM

Hi. Just got back from song circle. I see that the 33K thing has finally happened?

Good! Now we won't have to hear about this sort of nonsense again for about another 800 posts.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 Dec 09 - 12:05 AM

I thought for a minute you were calling me a bird, or a chicken. But I see now that you dropped the W in "when."

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 11:52 PM

Running shoes, humph!! hen you have a full suit of canvas, you don't need no stinkin' running shoes!! :D


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 11:51 PM

Amos, are you out of breath? I see you've been busy. I guess I ought to go see what you've been scribbling so diligently.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 11:45 PM

And the gals in their frocks flooded over the docks
As our heaving lines did lay
'Cross the harbor foam, and we brought her home
To the Thirty-Three of Kay!!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 11:45 PM

Oh, who can blame thos epoor sailors!! They've been through so much!!!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 11:44 PM

"Now round them sheets and bring 'er down!"
The skipper loud did roar.
And we leapt to the lines, for in every mind
Was a vision of thirty-three's shore!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 11:44 PM

And just as the sun swung over the yard,
Why we followed her homeward urge
'Til the main brace hummed and the bowsprit thrummed,
To the tune of a sailor's dirge .

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 11:43 PM

Oh, my Gawd! I think they're going to be okay!! Little Hawk will be SO relieved!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 11:42 PM

With the wind running fair, why we stretched her there,
Laid on every thread she'd hold
And we ran to the point with a thrill of joy
As the port shined out like gold!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 11:42 PM

Oh, that is SO nice!! See??? People CAN be decent!!!...

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 11:41 PM

The pumpers got over their various ills,
And the company welcomed them back.
Their sins full shriven, and themselves forgiven
For risking us all with their yack.
And the bilge held firm with the parcel and worm
And caulking to Big Ed's lay,
And the ship leapt east with a bone in her teeth
At the break of the rising day.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 11:39 PM

And the swells died down to a foot or two,
And the sunrise brought the balm
Of a warming day as the next of Kay
Loomed out ihrough the fading storm.
Off the bow she lay, thirty three of Kay!
In a golden, beckoning mist!
And the skipper swore 'twas as fair a sight
As ever he'd fondled or kissed.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 11:39 PM

Oh, god, I hope they make it okay!!

It is such dramatic tension, awaiting the unfoldment of this heroic drammer!!

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 11:38 PM

Then over the clouds the moon rose up,
ANd silvered the rolling sea,
And the wind and the seas died down to a breeze,
And harmonious company.
ANd the good ship still cut seven knots
On the broad reach through the bay,
And we marked our plot, and talked of what
Lay ahead at the next of Kay.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 11:37 PM

D'ye ken how they are introspecting as thew demand of danger falls away? It is the human dram, unfolding before our very eyes!! Whatever will happen next??????