BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Aug 08 - 12:06 AM

An adroit move, Rapaire. There comes a time when you have to let them know who's boss.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Aug 08 - 12:01 AM

I used to have an imaginary playmate. He kept getting more dessert than I did, and finally one Christmas he got a pony and I got underwear. So I had him run over by an imaginary truck.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Aug 08 - 11:53 PM

Fine, fine. Now give me a 10 minute dissertation on the rising prevalence of non-essential symbolism in the field of the fine arts, if you would.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Aug 08 - 09:29 PM

SOme of those I have read here about WShatner and other imaginary playmates certainly qualify, LH.

But most of the posts here would not do to pee on. But they do serve to make some pissed-off, on occasion. If you can be pissed off by posts that should be sufficient.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Aug 08 - 08:41 PM

My dog thinks posts are for peeing on, Amos. What do you think?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Aug 08 - 07:35 PM

When is a post not a post?

When little Hawk is the author; for then, it becomes a tort.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Aug 08 - 06:06 PM

"Dis tort is underdone!" Marie Antoinette, to the cook.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Aug 08 - 05:49 PM

...But MOAB, to prevent        
That murmur, soon replies: Mom doth not need        
Anyone's post, or borrowed gifts, who best        
Bear her mild yoke, they serve her best. Mom's state        
Is kingly; thousands to her have we writ
And posted broadly much of pure BS:Ñ        
They also serve who only post and wait.

On Mom's Kindness
Milton J. Skeins
1711

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Aug 08 - 05:43 PM

You, sir, must be serving some evil porpoise, to so distort Milton.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Aug 08 - 05:40 PM

Those who are unwilling to serve must stand and wait.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Aug 08 - 03:01 PM

I have no desire to serve porpoises. I just wanna degunk the lower "C" octave.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Aug 08 - 02:26 PM

You'll need a piano tuner, Amos. Or a bodhran tuner. Either will serve the porpoise.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Aug 08 - 11:28 AM

Nothing but the best, for my gal -- a full-scale concert grand.

We're still tryin' tuh figger out how to get the strings cleaned up. They sound kinda, I dunno, muzzy or sompn.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 Aug 08 - 10:22 AM

Silly me, I imagined an upright grand, ala Sadie Thompson skits (on Carol Burnett). It would be a balancing trick, really, but shouldn't harm the strings, hammers, or felt.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Aug 08 - 10:00 AM

Heh! There's always danger in romance, isn't there?

I guess they could put the lid down first. Or they could just have at it with the lid up and take their chances. That would add spice to the adventure. Howard Hughes used to have sex with his girlfriends in the back of his private plane while it was flying on autopilot.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Aug 08 - 09:39 AM

Oh.

Well, wouldn't that mess up the strings and hammers and possibly cause that big lid to collapse on the participants, causing them to be found flagrantly delicto inside the next time someone tried to play the thing? Wouldn't folks know something was going on by the sounds emanating from the piano? Or is that what is meant by "making beautiful music together"?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Aug 08 - 09:33 AM

Not with, you idiot! ON!   (directed at Rapaire)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 Aug 08 - 02:03 AM

But Janie, in the last 50 posts or so I wrote about you. I suggested something you might add to the conversation. It was a double entendre, even.

How's it going in the new house, or are you still moving?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 07 Aug 08 - 01:06 AM

This here be a totally irrelevant post serving the dual purpose of

1. letting MOM know I am alive though not at all attentive to her, this thread, or any of you sibs and I ain't read nuttin' to catch up, and...

2. doing my bit to move us on to twenty-five thousand.

Love,

Janie

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Aug 08 - 01:05 AM

Why would Woody Allen want to have sex with a grand piano? Wouldn't a banjo serve as well?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Aug 08 - 11:41 PM

Heh! Oh, you are getting really nasty now, Amos. I think I'll go off and cry into my pillow for hours...

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Aug 08 - 11:40 PM

Because, dear Hawk, discussion requires more than one participant, and you are the only one anywhere who has any concept of that topic, thanks to an imagination firmly rooted in arrested adolescence or something.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Aug 08 - 09:08 PM

We haven't discussed what it would be like to engage in 30 minutes of unbridled and passionate sex with Woody Allen on top of a grand piano either.


I wonder why that is?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Aug 08 - 08:24 PM

Why? WHY? Have you looked around the bunch we have now?


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 06 Aug 08 - 08:01 PM

Don, feel free to jump right in at any time!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Aug 08 - 07:45 PM

By the way, we have not yet discussed Caflisch's "Multiscale Mathematics For Plasma Kinetics Spanning Multiple Collisionality" or electron impact ionization of edge plasma constituents and electron attachment of hydrogen compounds. Nothing has yet appeared on Dermasterias imbricata's genome size (the smallest of the echinoderms), nor has anyone discussed A Modular, Open-Source (AMOS) whole genome assembler or even why Amos would want to assemble a whole open-source genome. Is he plotting to create some new race of super-beings, like some mad scientist in a laboratory bent upon conquering the world? And if so, why?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Aug 08 - 07:09 PM

If the aerial photos of alluvial loess formations demonstrate a pattern of waves, could you say that loess is moire? If an uncontained wildfire developed there, would the firefighters be smoking moire but enjoining it loess?

Inquiring and enquiring minds want to know.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Aug 08 - 12:20 PM

Actually, I do know another one, but I am not telling what it is.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Aug 08 - 11:48 AM

And now it's been discussed! You fool, Amos! You should have kept your mouth shut about that.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 06 Aug 08 - 11:47 AM

But now, by merely mentioning it, it has been discussed. After a fashion. Name it and you create the discussion or at least you create the zone for the discussion.

BTW: They're doing the pledge drive on our local PBS station this week. I watched Last Lecture: Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams with Carnegie Mellon University Professor Randy Pausch and it turns out one of his childhood heroes was Captain Kirk. He instead got to meet William Shatner, and it happened when Shatner came to him to learn more about Virtual Reality for a book he was working on (about the science of Star Trek that has actually happened). Nice story. Pausch has since died, it really was his last lecture (pancreatic cancer, which he knew he wouldn't recover from at the time of the lecture.)

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Aug 08 - 11:21 AM

He didn't ask, "What has been discussed on the MOAB?", which would be something like asking how long a Moebius strip is up. He asked, "What hasn't been discussed on the Mudcat?". There is only one answer: quatrefolial loess extrusion in natural alluvial fan regions.

I think that's the only one.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Aug 08 - 10:11 AM

And Shatner. Shatner has been discussed here on a few occasions.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Aug 08 - 10:03 AM

Well, Don, you could look in the index. And the Table of Contents is pretty complete too.

But to save you time and effort, here's a summary:

freds, Ralphs, Khandu, money, Tweed, tweed, Martians, interplanetary invasions, physics, metaphysics, various languages, poetry of all sorts, prose of all sorts, the Idaho Legion, beer, wine, whiskey, whisky, kilts, swords, duels, guns, libraries, bars, jails, gaols, kayaks, dogs, skunks (human and animal), mountains, holes of all sorts, Gluon and the Gluonettes, food, Amos, MMario, Little Hawk, AND A VARIETY OF OTHER THINGS TOO NUMEROUS TO MENTION (sorry, the caps came on).

Hope that helps.

Oh, yeah -- music, instruments, politics, mathematics, logic, philosophies, Stilly River Sage, peace, war, Dadaism, giant squids, Loooooooooong John Sliver, ghosts, the living, the dead, the living dead, the dead living, and other stuff.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 06 Aug 08 - 02:01 AM

I seriously doubt he has any balls. That need protecting. anyway.

Too bad I can't affect a Bobert accent in print, Don. "You know we were jus' funnin' w' ye."

Or something like that.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 06 Aug 08 - 01:17 AM

Aw hell I don't need to know, I was more like you know, wanted to know in an off hand way, heck I don't even want to know but you know what, I would like a Klondike bar. Yeah thats the ticket, I'll tell you what I'd do for a Klondike bar.

I would release the video of test subjects for the CIA microwave testacle bomb. Just aim low and BLOWEE.
When Cheney heard the intel on this weapon he feared it would get into enemy hands and now keeps his balls in an undisclosed location.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Aug 08 - 12:52 AM

Hell, let's kill him anyway, just for asking.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 05 Aug 08 - 11:15 PM

Don,

If we told you, we'd have to kill you.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 05 Aug 08 - 10:05 PM

I need to know.

Rather than posting a new thread perhaps the secret bretheren of the motherhood of MOAB could tell me...

What has never been discussed on Mudcat?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Aug 08 - 06:57 PM

Oh surely you'll agree 'tis nifty
To post 24 and seven-fifty.
It means our thread is still alive
And of K sure to make twenty-five!

Yippeee ki-yayyy ki-yoooo!!!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Aug 08 - 06:49 PM

I did mean "mantle", LH, quite right. I was not dreaming of a fireplace. Or a hotbox. Or rock-climbing manuvers.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 05 Aug 08 - 06:01 PM

He'll tell you it's "discourse" and Rapaire will tell you it's "dat course" and Janie will come along and tell us that Intercourse is a town in Pennsylvania.

Looks like rain commin' this way, MOM. Hurricane Edwardo slopped over onto the beach down by Beaumont this afternoon. Let's close that sliding glass door on the southeast side of the house.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Aug 08 - 01:38 PM

Is that the Howie Mantel of the Dirty Mind you are speaking of or did you mean to write "mantle"?

I had the same thought pass through my mind, Stilly. I think the truth of the matter is that Amos' subconscious mind is riddled with graphic sexual imagery that his conscious mind is unaware of and the images keep creeping into his discourse...or should I say his intercourse?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Aug 08 - 01:21 PM

You are about to inherit Little Hawk's "Mantel of the Dirty Mind", Still!!



A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 05 Aug 08 - 12:28 PM

and are probably wrinkled up and about to blow away in the next stiff breeze.

wrinkled up / blow /stiff /

oh, I don't know. It was an amusing thought. . .

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Aug 08 - 12:14 PM

wolb yawa ni the xent fifts eberze!! Of course!! Why didn't I think of that?


(Um...i don't get it....)




A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 05 Aug 08 - 12:09 PM

and are probably wrinkled up and about to blow away in the next stiff breeze.

Rearrange those words and see what dyslexics see.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Aug 08 - 10:58 AM

All of which tells me that not only are you a Great Fabricator (what less charitable souls would call an obsessive liar, don't you know) but that you are also older than Grandma Moses' older sister, and are probably wrinkled up and about to blow away in the next stiff breeze.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Aug 08 - 10:40 AM

I learned that from Ol' Sam one night when we were drinking Dick Brothers' beer in a disreputable joint in East Hannibal, Illinois. Sam was in town, part of a trip on the Upper River to deliver cotton to La Crosse, Wisconsin and was stuck in Hannibal due to low water at Lock and Dam 20, so he called me and I hot-footed it down to Hannibal and we went disreputable tavern hoppin.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 05 Aug 08 - 12:09 AM

Rapaire subscribes to the policy "never give a short answer when a long one will do." This is first cousin once removed to Mark Twain's remark "I'm writing you a long letter because I don't have time to write a short one."

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Aug 08 - 11:37 PM

Rapaire:

I greatly appreciate your service as the Great Fount of More Knowledge than Is Ever Wanted, really I do. If King Khandu were still here he would probably give you a title for being such a great Fount.

But as far as revilement goes, it was your origination that you were in Miss Oula, not mine.

I am a gentleman, and gentlemen never tell.


A