BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Apr 05 - 11:14 AM

I'm sorry I didn't show up, but I haven't received the tickets yet!! How do you think I am to get there? Let's get real here, now, Stilly! :D


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Stilly River Sage
Date: 23 Apr 05 - 10:23 AM

I guess Amos isn't really looking for something to do--no one has arrived to clean my house. It's a cool morning but I already have the sprinkler going to soften up the flowerbed I plan to dig today. If you plan to clean my house wipe your feet at the door before you go in so you don't add to the problem.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 23 Apr 05 - 01:08 AM

If you're bored there then come clean up my house. I have company coming on Sunday afternoon, but I want to dig flower beds, not clean house!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Apr 05 - 11:04 PM

Finished the corner table I was building!! Bought groceries! Made dinner!! Washed dishes!! Cleaned up the workshop!

I hate having nothing to do....


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Apr 05 - 08:44 PM

Right!! Except for the streamlining on a dog-duck is a little leaner. The beak a bit sharper and more gleam in the eye.

And the feet are webbier.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Stilly River Sage
Date: 22 Apr 05 - 11:07 AM

I visualize the gluon looking more like this. With the down cum pile fur and in that exact color.

There's loads of cracks that can be generated from that line!   :)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Apr 05 - 09:06 AM

"In physics, gluons are the bosonic particles which are responsible for the strong nuclear force. They bind quarks together to form protons and neutrons as well as other hadrons; their electric charge is zero, their spin is 1 and they are generally assumed to have zero mass (although a mass as large as a few MeV may not be precluded). Gluons are ultimately responsible for the stability of atomic nuclei; there are eight different kinds of gluons. "

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gluon


Ours is an Airedale crossed with an Indian Runner. 'S why he's so fast. Improbably fast.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Apr 05 - 08:12 AM

That there guy in the Quark picher sure has got good taste in suits, don't he? Looks jist like one I saw at the concert tother night, ceptin' that one was green an blue and the guy wearin' it had on a Stetson and boots and of course his shootin' arn. The band was playin' Copeland's Billy The Kid Suite and got the audience all riled up. They was shootin' out the lights an everthing afore the music stopped. Everbody had themselves a right good time.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 22 Apr 05 - 04:55 AM

Did you get Gluon off a man in a quiet corner of the pub?

The Dog and Duck by any chance?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Apr 05 - 12:54 AM

Thanks for the pic, Maggie, but that looks nothing like our Gluon.

Here's Gluon! And here's his cousin Meson.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 22 Apr 05 - 12:24 AM

Quark!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 11:50 PM

As demonstrated in post of 20 Apr 05 - 11:29 PM he is a dogduck, or dog-duck. If Apple can have their dogcow, who goes "Moof", we can have a dog-duck who goes "Quark!!"


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 10:12 PM

Which brings up the question "If Gluon is a cross between a dog and a duck, do we call him a 'dock' or a 'dug'?" It would be easier if he were a cross between a dog and a chicken. Then we would call him a "dicken". But a dicken wouldn't say "Quark!" A dicken would say "Buck-buck-buck-bark!"

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Gluon's Mom
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 10:04 PM

BARK!!! BARK!!! BARK!!! BARK!!!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 08:52 PM

Yup. I was voted (Down, Gluon, dammit!) out of office. I've been given -- at the insistance fo the staff! -- a larger one. One with three nice-sized windows. L-shaped, one leg will be my desk area and the other a bookcased spot where you can peruse the older stuff we have (like the first edition of Twain's "The American Claimant") that we want to protect. (Dog, gitcher goddam nose outa my crotch! You a pervert or somethin'?) I'm also getting a new desk chair.

My old office will be used for storage for Technical Services' stuff, and may very well become the server farm by this time next year. I don't wanna go there, I don't WANNA go there, I don't wanna be both a Director AND a System Administrator! (But there are 21 other libraries who would be depending upon me, so I'd have to.

Anyway, by this time tomorrow I'll be out of office and into my new one.

That's 'cause my staff LIKES me. Seriously. I was going to stay where I was, but was told Otherwise: "Your current office isn't suitable for a Library Director. Move it." And I always do what women tell me, 'cause it's easier that way.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Gluon's Dad
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 07:52 PM

QUACK!!! QUACK!!! QUACK!!! QUACK!!!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 07:50 PM

Man!! VOTED you out? What kind of ship are you running there, pal? If I ran the library anyone who wanted to vote about me doing so would be polishing the stacks for a week. Arrr Begarrrr, they would!!

Give 'em the Black Spot, there's a good lad. Or I'll sic Gluon on them. They wouldn't want that!! They wouldn't be able to stand the Uncertainty of it. No one can tell what slot he's going to pop out of next!


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 06:10 PM

That's because my staff has voted me out of office. Tomorrow afternoon they're going to take my desk.

Goddamit! Gluon! Stop licking your hadron! You're embarassing everyone here for tea!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 04:45 PM

Rapaire:

I think you need a pheremone check, man. Yours seem to have shifted phase and lost their charm--Gluon thinks you're a disguised Boson. See his hadron? Could be thyroid, or mebbe your karma needs adjusting. He likes to chase old karmas.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 04:26 PM

Gluon! Down! Stop humping my leg! Down! Sit! Goooooooood doggie!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 04:26 PM

You mean the Mushroom Planet was FICTION!!!!!!!! Oh No!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Gluon
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 04:14 PM

QUARK!!! QUARK!!! QUARK!!! QUARK!!!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Poop Crapslinger 1½
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 03:29 PM

Dunno anything about a Terrible Churnadryne. I had a Terrible Hemorrhoid once. Is it anything similar?

But, putting all seriousness aside, I do know that the woman who wrote the Terrible Churnadryne thing also wrote a series of books about The Mushroom Planet. Judging from the cover illustration, it looks like she might have taken a few wonderful trips having something to do with mushrooms herself.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 12:37 PM

I dunno, MM, but a gopher wood.

Grrrrr. :D


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 12:23 PM

best guess for pre-flood gopher wood is probably cypress. BTW - they now believe that the "gopher" was probably an old term that has come down to us as "chamfered" or wood pieced together .

For modern gopherwood - try the kentucky yellowood

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 12:16 PM

Sorry, old chap. Better luck next time.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Paco Rabanne
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 12:14 PM

7400!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 12:13 PM

Understand???

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 12:13 PM

Least of all, me.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 12:12 PM

Nobody here cares.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 12:11 PM

Flaming Ted:

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Paco Rabanne
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 12:11 PM

7396

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Paco Rabanne
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 12:10 PM

7395

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 12:04 PM

Pre, if it can be had at a reasonable price.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 11:44 AM

Which one? antedeluvian gopherwood or postdeluvian?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire, or, He Who Must Not Be Named
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 11:25 AM

Gopherwood? You have a source for gopherwood??

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 10:50 AM

But go they have a source for gopherwood?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 10:45 AM

Churnadryne this:

Controlled multiple quantum coherences of nuclear spins in a nanometre-scale device

Go Yusa1, Koji Muraki1, Kei Takashina1, Katsushi Hashimoto2,3 and Yoshiro Hirayama1,2

The analytical technique of nuclear magnetic resonance (NMR1, 2) is based on coherent quantum mechanical superposition of nuclear spin states. Recently, NMR has received considerable renewed interest in the context of quantum computation and information processing3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, which require controlled coherent qubit operations. However, standard NMR is not suitable for the implementation of realistic scalable devices, which would require all-electrical control and the means to detect microscopic quantities of coherent nuclear spins. Here we present a self-contained NMR semiconductor device that can control nuclear spins in a nanometre-scale region. Our approach enables the direct detection of (otherwise invisible) multiple quantum coherences between levels separated by more than one quantum of spin angular momentum. This microscopic high sensitivity NMR technique is especially suitable for probing materials whose nuclei contain multiple spin levels, and may form the basis of a versatile multiple qubit device.

---

Man those Japanese guys take their Qubits seriously!!!


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 10:21 AM

for a change of subject - or atleast messing about in another heap...

Does anyone beside me remember the terrible churnadryne?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 08:46 AM

Yeah, I work hard at it. You don't get a rep like mine without a lot of hard work, lemme tell ya. I remember one time back in, oh, '70 or mebbe '71, when I was just beggining my career. It was a different time, then, I mean, Nixon was President and the Vietnam Unpleasantness was happening. Nehru jackets had passed into fashion history, which was just as well, and leisure suits were still in the future, thank God. Anyway, my brother and I were both back from the Army and we'd wear each others clothes. I remember he had a double-breasted sport jacket, even though I wouldn't wear such a thing nowadays, that we both thought was the most fashionable thing we'd ever seen. Granted, we hadn't seen much back then, pretty much just what we'd see in the Army, really. We've made up for it since, of course. My brother has too. He did a canoe trip up along the Boundary Waters area with a couple friends once, and they were paddling along near shore when one of them thoght they should get a cloaser look at a young moose; well, momma moose was nearby by and when she raised her head up out the water those four guys paddled so fast that the canoe was planing, let me tell ya! Anyway, like I was saying about leisure suits, I had one, like a lot of men, but I got rid of it pretty quick, let me tell ya. Polyester double knit, it was.

So there you have it.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Apr 05 - 11:29 PM

Gluon? GLUUUUON?


Dang, where IS that Dog-Duck???

Heeeeere GLUON!!

Damn...probably out chasing some sweet little boson with a hadron as big as his leg, or I miss my guess.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Poop Crapslinger 1½
Date: 20 Apr 05 - 11:13 PM

What? You mean you didn't misread "bosons" as "bosoms" as well?

Look, if yer gonna let yer mind be in th' gutter, let it be all the way in th' gutter, will ya?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 20 Apr 05 - 10:52 PM

our special tonight is stir-fried neutrinos served with a spicy mix of hadrons and bosons.

I think I've been spending too much time on that thong and butt-crack thread. I didn't read that as "hadrons" when I first looked it it. . .

Down, Dyslexia, down!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Poop Crapslinger 1½
Date: 20 Apr 05 - 10:16 PM

Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to The Subatomic Cafe. My name is Werner and I'll be your server tonight.

Might I suggest you start off with our house specialty, the quark and gluon soup, followed by some nice lambda particles in a bed of fresh gravitons.

Then, for the main course, our special tonight is stir-fried neutrinos served with a spicy mix of hadrons and bosons.

And for dessert, our famous "Spin ½ Pie" with your choice of up-quark or down-quark ice cream. So good you can't tell if it's particles or waves!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 20 Apr 05 - 09:57 PM

Ah, good Rapaire, KIND Rapaire, PRINCIPLED Rapaire!! How have I wronged thee! Your benevolence in not mentioning my unprincipled abuse of Heisenberg's reputation as Principle Investigator of the Uncertainty Principle is -- much like Schrodinger's cat -- almost mythical in its ambiguity. Such gentility exceeds all I had ever imagined in your dubious character, sir, and I apologize for my misestimation!


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 20 Apr 05 - 09:41 PM

Amos, I thought that you might have been called Gluon's attention to one of these.

Were I unprincipled I would call attention to your use of the phrase "Uncertainty Principal" -- but then, I remember my high school daze and he whom we had nicknamed "Heisenberg."

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Peter Woodruff
Date: 20 Apr 05 - 08:11 PM

Enough is enough!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: rumanci
Date: 20 Apr 05 - 07:53 PM

oh
that's alright then .......I thought it was the story of the Princess and the Spea
I should lispen better

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 20 Apr 05 - 07:26 PM

I left a letter off, Rapaire. The letter "k" , followed by the exclamation point. Lost in the rush of keystrokes, I suppose. If I had typed those, the letters would have formed the word. "Speak!", which is the directive form, a command to another to perform a verb. In this case, Gluon, the Quark-Speaking dog-duck.

I am sorry to see that I had to spell out in so much detail the explanation that anyone able to sift probabilities and use a tiny modicum of imagination would have concluded on their own, but in respect of our long friendship I am happy to do it for you. I know you would never take advantage and would only ask for that sort of help if you really needed it.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Apr 05 - 06:42 PM

"spea"???