BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 16 Sep 12 - 12:00 AM

255 grains of aspirin? Or salt?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 Sep 12 - 07:04 PM

"255 grains"

There ya go again. Why in **** would you shoot a small primate with that? YOU, SIR, are not eco friendly. I suggest you reduce your carbon footprint by using a bullet that has less impact on the environment.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Sep 12 - 06:44 PM

Chonga, my apologies come in 255 grains, boxes of 50.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 15 Sep 12 - 01:11 PM

Of course, 100 apologies would put you over 46,000.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 15 Sep 12 - 12:39 PM

He owes me about a hundred apologies by now, but I will settle for just one, cos of what a nice guy I am.

Or I'd be willin' to take monthly payments. A mere couple hundred a month would go a long way toward soothin' my ruffled feelings.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Sep 12 - 11:06 AM

You owe Chongo an apology...

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 15 Sep 12 - 10:34 AM

Oh My!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Sep 12 - 09:31 AM

So, in honor of Mom and all who have come before me, to all of you little people to whom I owe so little,

45900

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Sep 12 - 09:29 AM

For over twelve hours Mom has sat, alone and unafraid, with no one to claim her next big one. Not Stilly, not Amos, not gnu, not LH, not even Veronica Pimpleheart or whatever her name is. Shame, shame on you all!!!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Sep 12 - 09:02 PM

A peak
So to speak.
Let us peek
And remain meek
So do not leak
In the creek
And cause it to reek
For Amos would freak
If the peak would reek
From a sudden leak
In the creek.
So to speak,
A pee-ack.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 14 Sep 12 - 07:13 PM

We seem to be near the top of a ridge on the way to another numerical peak. So to speak.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 Sep 12 - 04:45 PM

Yeah... I see it too.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Sep 12 - 01:20 PM

No number is true; only
The zero of infinity,
And the infinity of zero,
May claim truth.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Sep 12 - 09:42 AM

I've said it before and I'll say it again:











And it's true!!!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Sep 12 - 09:35 PM

That last was also me. Sorry 'bout that, but I'm in DC and I routinely toss my cookies here.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Sep 12 - 04:49 PM

Actually, I have to have a colonoscopy in January. May you enjoy one soon!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Sep 12 - 02:15 PM

The only one among us sir,
In all the MOAB line,
'T is you alone who know the place
Where the sun refuse to shine.
"T is you who count the grisly bends
Of that cavern deep and foul,
And may you pull your head out soon,
And salvage, thus, your sowl.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapparee
Date: 13 Sep 12 - 01:27 PM

Oops, forgot I have no cookie here. That last was me. I like to give Amos encouragement.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Sep 12 - 01:26 PM

Fret not. That will change. One day you shall be weeping and gnashing your tooth and pouring sackcloth and ashes over your heads. Then the moon won't shed her light and you will be where the sun don't shine and All Will Be Awful.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Sep 12 - 11:56 AM

Bitch, bitch, bitch. Ya want heavy lifting, ya should come and decoupled the trailer off my towbar.

Had a lovely wuiet dinner out, a rare treat, with BBVW in honor of my boifday.

Today was my first real day of retirement. I sat for a long time looking at all my lists, made fresh coffee, fired up the laptop and started getting it ready fro Da Getaway, and ended up coming here to banter with the Ranter. I swan, byes and goils, it is most unusual to have empty time in which to place things. A plethora, a richness of self-determination lies before me. Oh, what shall I ever DO? :D Ne'er mind, I will think of something.

I do know this much--my blessings and joys far outweigh any trials and tribulations in my life, and I ain't about to start looking to change that.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Sep 12 - 09:24 AM

Geez, I gotta do all the heavy lifting around here!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Sep 12 - 09:02 PM

They sure sound like they might do ta ride the range with a bit. Ain't got much swamps, but we sure got a lot of nothin' that does go on and on. They might fit in out here like cold fingers in a warm glove. It they don't, well, the kitties need to eat too.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Sep 12 - 04:39 PM

Buddy an a b'ys is some shockin good, eh? Love ta be inna gravel pit wit n all.

Now, some of you understood that but I suspect some of you may have had to read that slowly or more than once. Welllll... jam it all together and play it in real time rather than in slo-mo and ye got da same stuff what was inna video eh? An if yer still up yer arse no amounta weed be ye or dey is gonna clear dat fog eh?

Jaysus buddy.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Sep 12 - 04:15 PM

Gnuzer:

Yer NEwfie chatter just baffled me complete. Are these people Christians? They sound like they might be cannabis or something...

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Sep 12 - 01:55 PM

Yo, A! Happies atchya!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 12 Sep 12 - 12:55 PM

Like Monty Python's Camalot, MOM is a poeticly silly place albeit with much better humor parody and satire than on any of the 1,200 cable channels.

HBD Amos.

The last time I saw you venture out the front door of this sole thread was a year ago when I wrote about "the world's most interesting man" and stuck your name in it.

For many of you I have imagined that you spend up to 8 hours a day on this web site. If you have mastered the time continuem that may not be very much time, but it sure looks like it from this side. It may just prove that time for friends is more precious and timeless than $.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Sep 12 - 12:40 PM

Oh...Happy Birthday, Amos!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Sep 12 - 12:38 PM

Multi-level facilitating of inner management parameters will empower personnel capability vectors and result in greater financial viability during the projected downturn. Who wants to take this and run with it?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Sep 12 - 11:42 AM

Thank you all for the birthday wishes.


We got home at midnight, wrung out and bone-weary, a 20-hour day marathon, having driven from Cottonwood to Topange with a fully loaded trailer of stuff, convoying two vehicles all the way, through thunderstorms so thick you couldn't see the side of the road, gotten it all put in storage, tehn hauled the empty trailer thirty-five miles in insane LA traffic jams, still convoying, to finally establish son Tucker in his new digs on the wandering backroads of Topanga Canyon, ready to start his new job in five days. Whoof!! Wotta day!

This morning my dearest wife told me it was my birthday, and I replied, "Why, so it is!! How old am I?". But when she told me I didn't believe her anyway. I figure she had me mixed up with some older man in her life. I plan to keep an eye on that...

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Sep 12 - 09:42 AM

Six Sigma. Total Quality Management. Enhanced productivity from synergistic teamwork. Trickle down empowerment.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Sep 12 - 09:36 AM

Gibberish. Utter gibberish. That's all I'm posting today.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Sep 12 - 10:34 PM

Sorry, but I've been up 15 hours straight getting to Silver Spring, MD. I'll translate 'er later.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Sep 12 - 12:09 PM

Other apes can. To us, it just sounds like a bunch of hooting, grunting, and screeching. Kind of like a NASCAR audience or a political party leadership convention.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 11 Sep 12 - 11:38 AM

So someone can understand that patois, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Sep 12 - 11:02 AM

Pretty good, but you haven't heard Chongo talk Bush Ape.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Sep 12 - 08:10 AM

Simple, because I speak fluent nonsense. I'll provide at tranlation when I can listen without awakening everyone.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 11 Sep 12 - 12:05 AM

Now. If ye latin spoutin eruditics livin in the land of the free for all and the home of the brave but not the braves on accounta Rap's relatives were efficient (Yes, I agree that is EXteremly PI) (I am speaking to the western most latest drains on society who obtained   pensions from the remaining useful workforce. They are both still filled to overflowing with years of contibutions to our greater good but they foraske us for want of "good times.") was at 'alf of it, eh, what, eh?

Well. You two liguists, ye ain't gonna get no Bing Bling on
this.

Translate dat dere buddy, b'ys. Oi dares yas bot.

Disclaimer : No, LH, you cannot translate. You are a Canuck. You must remain neutered.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Sep 12 - 06:42 PM

That shit ain't worth sheeeeit!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 10 Sep 12 - 03:41 PM

Rap, get a U-Haul trailer and bring some back to Idaho for fertilizer.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Sep 12 - 10:53 AM

No, I'm headin' to DC -- the REAL capitol of hot air. And organic fertilizer.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Sep 12 - 10:03 AM

Alive and well in baking Phoenix. That wonderful town of dry hot air everywhere.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 Sep 12 - 11:29 PM

The rest of us will have to hold up the weight of the world while you retirees drift off in to the desert or the sunset or wherever.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Sep 12 - 10:15 PM

Well, I guess I'll just have to continue knowing The Answers to those questions. Amos has done loaded the wagon and headed East, I guess. Hope he makes it; gotta go to DC area myself on Tuesday fer a week fer "family stuff" fer ma wife. We're takin' an airship, though.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Sep 12 - 01:29 PM

Ya don't get no half a beer for a half wit.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Sep 12 - 01:18 PM

Farewell, Mamacita, my hands are not here,
The party was great, there was plenty of beer.
I am off to the highway to the far desert sands,
In far Arizona you'll soon find my hands!
The party is over, and I'm on the trail,
Farewell Mamacita
I am off to the east,
With the cholla and quail.
Farewell, Mamacita, I'll drink one more toast,
While my hands are a-wandering
I can't write a post.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Sep 12 - 01:14 PM

I can answer them all except the one about Rapparee, which has a flawed premise in it somewhere. Can't quite get my wits around it. So I'll accept half a beer.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Sep 12 - 12:28 PM

Amos, now that you have retired you will have time to delve deeply into the Eternal Questions. Such questions as: Why am I here? What is the nature of sentient life? Who put the bop in the bop-she-bop-bop? What was before the Big Bang? Why is Rapparee such a clear, logical, and deep thinker? What happens to the "I" after death? Who put the ram in the ram-a-lama-ding-dong? What is the true nature of Charity? What is Love? Is it possible to step in the same river twice? What is outside of existence as we know it? If you CAN answer all of these I'll give you a beer at Getaway.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Sep 12 - 11:51 AM

Your sense of "need" is dramatically egocentric, sir. But I am not surprised...

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Sep 12 - 09:23 PM

Fish need bicycles! Why wouldn't they? So do snakes and whales and dolphins and mermaids and birds. Geez, you people! You just don't think things through!

Now I think things through. That's why I know that the above, and more, need bicycles. A cute chimp on a bicycle, or a circus bear...they need bicycles to entertain us.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Sep 12 - 06:32 PM

Sounds like carping to me.