BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Jan 19 - 07:39 PM

Hi, Mom!

The coyotes are raising a ruckus tonight, and every dog within hearing range is howling in response. Except my dog. She doesn't respond to coyotes for some reason. If they were driving UPS trucks, it'd be a different story.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jan 19 - 07:19 PM

Up! For the Sun, who scatter'd into flight
The Stars before him from the Field of Night,
Drives Night along with them from Heav'n, and strikes
The Sultan's Turret with a Shaft of Light.

Before the phantom of False morning died,
Methought a Voice within the Tavern cried,
"When all the Temple is prepared within,
Why nods the drowsy Mom outside?"

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jan 19 - 05:44 PM

You betcha it does!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 24 Jan 19 - 03:09 PM

It's all in the crust. They use lard... makes all the difference.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Jan 19 - 02:17 PM

I've heard that cedar waxwings make an excellent pie.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 23 Jan 19 - 02:14 PM

I used to see lots of birds when I had bird seed out in various feeders, but alas, then I started seeing rats at the feeders, so I had to let the birds find someplace else to dine.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jan 19 - 12:43 PM

Chickadee and roast apples. YUM!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 22 Jan 19 - 09:38 PM

Only one apple tree, and you're attracting all those birds?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Jan 19 - 02:35 PM

Well, well, well! I've had a big robin in the apple tree and hundreds of Cedar Waxwings. A lot of apples get half-eaten and then, to my surprise, Chickadees are eating on the half-eaten apples. Never saw that before. Chickadees eating apples!

Glad I got out of bed today... learned something new. >;-)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jan 19 - 09:34 AM

I found the Vatican's "Lexicon Recentis Latinitatis" and wrote a story!

Slim, a armentárius at the Circle B práedium rei pecuáriae curandae, drifted into town. He was no nóbilis Hispanus or homo hebes, but just a plain working stiff (as much as he'd like to be a iúvenis voluptárius). He was on a mission: he needed some brevíssimae bracae, a new lagoena calefactória, provocátio, and (should he see a praecípua scáenica actrix in brevíssimae bracae femíneae a lot of sui moderátio).

But Slim was no homo affectatus, not him. He tied his mount and went into the thermopólium potórium et gustatórium for some placenta compressa; placéntula. He gave his order and saw out the window his old pal Pete, now moved to town and all tricked out for a round of thorax láneus manicatus. Slim sadly shook his head. He paid for his repast and walked out.

He walked past the aleatórium, where he'd lost so much money last payday, and decided he'd have some sícera náutica and Coke before he went back. A television somewhere was broadcasting a game of ludus follis ovati and he wondered if anyone here was watching.

Then he saw it and all his good intentions of returning today fell apart. There was spectáculum equestre! And the boss would know where he was.

(If you can understand all this you spent too damned much time in Latin class. If you can't you can look it up here.
Mind you, the list is from Italian to Latin!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jan 19 - 01:51 PM

Ohfergoodnesssakes, Mom! Get up out of the gutter! Have you no shame? Laying there, embarrassing the family...what? You dropped your watch and slipped and can't get up? Here, let me help.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jan 19 - 07:04 PM

I got her a bathtub of what I was told was gin last Monday. It was full then.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Jan 19 - 11:38 AM

I bought Mom a bottle of good Tanqueray gin and she hated it. Said it was missing some of the subtle flavors she was used to in her usual brand. So, I poured the gin into a dirty bathtub, let it sit for long enough to absorb some soap scum and athlete's food fungus, and rebottled it into a dirty Mason jar. Mom said that was more like it.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 20 Jan 19 - 11:10 AM

Snow and ice notwithstanding, MOM, it's time to head upwards again.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Jan 19 - 07:50 PM

I had one of those enhanced driver's licenses when I was 18. It said my name was Gordon Green and that I was 21. My cousin made it for me.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jan 19 - 05:11 PM

Enhanced driver's license. I like the sound of that. Enhanced. "He's an enhanced driver!" But they call it a Star License here. "He's a Star driver." "He's an enhanced star driver!" I need other enhanced things. "Quadruple Oh Seven! An Enhanced License to kill!" "His graduation was ENHANCED!" "Look! He's a Star Visa Credit Card Holder!" "Wow! He's got an ENHANCED ATM card!" "An ENHANCED level of debt!" I could play trumpet with an Enhanced Lip. My singing could be enhanced. I like this idea. I guess it starts with the driver's license! Tuesday I shall be ENHANCED!!!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 19 Jan 19 - 12:36 AM

It's always something, isn't it?

Nasty cold weather arriving overnight, MOM - better get out those fuzzy flannel PJs.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jan 19 - 08:52 PM

I can't complete my Global Entry card renewal because my driver's license expires next month. I shall get it renewed (as an Enhance License!) on Tuesday. In the meantime, my passport is valid to 2026.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 18 Jan 19 - 04:00 PM

Okay, Mom, the sun is going down and it's best
if you move on up, again.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 18 Jan 19 - 11:31 AM

MOM! It's time to mow the lawn before it starts raining this afternoon. Yeah, I know, it's really weeds, but when you mow weeds they look like turf.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jan 19 - 08:57 AM

Mom! Mom! Awake unto this day! Retake thy place on high!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 17 Jan 19 - 11:19 AM

;-)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 16 Jan 19 - 06:33 PM

There was a close call when letters cards and flowers and DVD's created a small avalanche onto the foot of his bed in the middle of the night.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jan 19 - 06:13 PM

Is there any more information about Amos?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 16 Jan 19 - 02:20 PM

SRS when you write your master piece play 'Of Dogs and Men' please let me know. I'm sure you will put 'Alpha' and 'Isle of Dogs' in their place.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jan 19 - 08:12 PM

I sent a letter, 8.5 x 11 inches, in a #10 envelope. Typed, except for the signature.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 15 Jan 19 - 12:00 PM

Imperious Rapturous Rex / Boss,
I have yet to write said note of cheer.
It isn't a question of knowing how to write.
I know how to write.
I can even type and post online, to my everlasting wonder.

The trouble is that I ran out of envelopes.
I wasn't going to even start writing until
I had an envelope for the note to go in.

Well, I mean, in my writing desk (I have one of those),
I have cards for written notes,
and I have envelopes.
They just don't match, is all.
All my envelopes are letter size, not card size,
and the cards are too big to seal up inside the letter size envelopes.

I guess I will have to write a note of cheer to the Imperial Naysayer
upon something that fits into a letter size envelope like the ones
in my desk drawer.
Where, after all, am I going to find envelopes to fit
the cards, which I have had for donkey's years,
and no, I don't know what happened to their matching envelopes anyhow.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 14 Jan 19 - 09:03 PM

The Night Amos Came to Visit

Two years ago in January Amos and Daly and Barky and their dog Maggie were travelling from San Diego to North Carolina. They arrived in south Fort Worth, TX, near dark and were gone before dawn, but it was a nice visit of 10-12 hours.

Two silent Prius wagons pulled up to the house and I met them at the door with my pitbull Cinnamon, my blue heeler mix Poppy, and my chocolate lab Zeke. Amos's ridgeback-breed Maggie walked into the house with her humans and stood patiently as my three inspected all of the important places, ears and butt, mostly. She found the water bucket and the dog door, and the dogs had the run of the house and yard that evening while we visited and learned more about each other.

Both guest rooms were pressed into service, and Maggie spent the night in Barky's room, but twice during the night my three came rattling down the hall, toenails clattering on the tile, and whined quietly, invitingly, at Barky's door, asking Maggie to come out and play. I'm sure they'd have had a great time out in the back yard racing and barking at possums, but Maggie stayed put in her room and I whispered to my pooches to go back to bed. They tried again an hour later, and I know that both times the pack was led by my elderly pitbull Cinnamon, who always loved other dogs and puppies and people and any occasion to play.

Tonight we went for a walk, Zeke, Poppy, and Pepper, and I told new-arrival Pepper about our beloved late Cinnamon (December, 2017) and how much she loved it when company came to call. If it was puppies, she would get down on the floor and roll around with them and they'd climb all over her, gnawing ears, she didn't care. Zeke and Pepper listened and enjoyed the story and Poppy walked happily and wagged her tail as she remembered her oldest friend.

Amos has a lot of people wishing he'll get well, but he also has a lot of canine friends who are equally interested in his welfare.

Share if you wish, gnu. :)

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 14 Jan 19 - 06:43 PM

You did, Gnu, but not to MOAB --
you posted it to the Amos Is Ill thread which is above BS.

Good to hear from you as well!

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 Jan 19 - 06:05 PM

I thought I posted this previously... but I wouldn't trust my memory.

https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/amosjessupsgang/journal

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 14 Jan 19 - 05:46 PM

Up to the top of the queue.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jan 19 - 11:04 AM

The poor little chap's address is

Amos Jessup
Room 7342
North Carolina Memorial Hospital
101 Manning Dr.
Chapel Hill, NC 27514

and he's collecting letters and cards from all over the world to help him get well. Tell him Mom told you to write, assuming you know how.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jan 19 - 11:02 AM

I've written Amos -- have YOU written a note of cheer to our poor, dear, sick, little boy?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jan 19 - 08:17 PM

There are others, many others. I understand that an Italian neurosurgeon has done a successful head transplant. "Memory" transplants have been done on snails. The question is actually an "ego" transplant -- a transplant of the animus (or soul, if you will) into another person. Tell me where that resides and I'll tell you about transplanting it.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 13 Jan 19 - 05:04 PM

Many Thanks, o Imperious Former Librarian.
Figures it would be a Sci-Fi author.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jan 19 - 09:36 PM

Heinlein, Robert A. "I Will Fear No Evil." Among others.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 12 Jan 19 - 06:15 PM

See you already changed my mind

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 12 Jan 19 - 04:13 PM

Who was it who said that
the brain is part of the body
and the body is part of the mind
?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Jan 19 - 03:55 PM

You can't exchange minds with someone. You don't have a mind. You are a mind. You have a body.

So, even if "mind exchange" were possible, you wouldn't really be exchanging minds, you'd be exchanging bodies. You'd still be you, just wearing a different body.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 11 Jan 19 - 09:09 PM

"The noble art of learning and understanding demands we change our minds yet there are kinds of minds that do not change, genius or not."
quote: DWB Jr.

I am reminded of Freud condemning surrealist art, then praising it after meeting Dali. Or Einstein condemning quantum science and then agreeing it is merely incomplete.

Not changing your mind goes against the tide of spacetime but some poor unfortunate souls do manage to fight the current.

Is anyone here willing to change/exchange minds with me for a week? :^/

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jan 19 - 08:35 PM

Real true fact: for many years librarians were not allowed on Jeopardy.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 11 Jan 19 - 08:07 PM

It is much easier to win those games at home when viewed from a comfy sofa. Nerves work against most people. #FactOfLife

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 11 Jan 19 - 06:28 PM

A secret wish of mine is to see Rap appear on the show Jeopardy along with fellow contestants Donald Trump and Robert Mueller. In the first half of the game there would be Trump friendly categories like McDonalds menu items but double Jeopardy would be history and science related. If Mueller is too busy I would like to see Amos take over the buzzer.
I never win but my wife often wins at Jeopardy. I might win at Whammy.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 11 Jan 19 - 11:59 AM

MOAB is dangerously low again. Up we get.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jan 19 - 09:51 PM

One cancels the other so none of the calories count.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Jan 19 - 07:21 PM

Mom decided to go on a diet, but didn't think she was getting enough food. So, she found another diet. Now, she's doing the old diet and the new diet, both at the same time.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Jan 19 - 11:37 PM

I actually did crack and shell walnuts to go in the banana nut bread. The recipe we used called for "broken" nutmeat. Good thing, 'cause "broken" is the only kind I know how to make. You wanna make stuff with pretty nut halves on top? Buy them from the store. You want me to crack nuts? You're gonna get lots of little broken pieces.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 08 Jan 19 - 10:51 PM

Great minds think alike - sorta. I made banana nut bread today but I had pecans in the freezer and chopped the correct amount. My dogs are nuts, but no body parts were required for the baking.

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jan 19 - 08:49 PM

Did you hold them between your legs as you did that? Were you very, very careful? Do you feel a sense of loss?

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Jan 19 - 08:16 PM

Hi, Mom!

I was helping my wife make banana nut bread. The recipe called for a half-cup of nutmeat. We didn't have any at hand, so I grabbed my trusty Buck knife, rounded up three feral tomcats, and lopped their nuts off. Came to exactly a half-cup.