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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Donuel 11 Mar 19 - 03:32 PM
Rapparee 11 Mar 19 - 09:07 AM
Donuel 10 Mar 19 - 09:51 PM
Little Hawk 10 Mar 19 - 09:01 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Mar 19 - 07:40 PM
Little Hawk 10 Mar 19 - 07:00 PM
Donuel 10 Mar 19 - 04:03 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Mar 19 - 03:24 PM
keberoxu 10 Mar 19 - 02:41 PM
Rapparee 10 Mar 19 - 12:48 PM
Little Hawk 10 Mar 19 - 12:47 PM
Donuel 10 Mar 19 - 08:43 AM
Donuel 10 Mar 19 - 08:29 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Mar 19 - 11:58 PM
Rapparee 09 Mar 19 - 09:44 PM
Little Hawk 09 Mar 19 - 08:27 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Mar 19 - 03:14 PM
Little Hawk 09 Mar 19 - 10:37 AM
Rapparee 09 Mar 19 - 09:36 AM
Rapparee 08 Mar 19 - 08:46 PM
Little Hawk 08 Mar 19 - 06:43 PM
Rapparee 08 Mar 19 - 05:20 PM
Little Hawk 08 Mar 19 - 02:10 PM
Rapparee 08 Mar 19 - 01:37 PM
Little Hawk 08 Mar 19 - 12:25 PM
Stilly River Sage 07 Mar 19 - 08:48 PM
gnu 07 Mar 19 - 01:21 PM
Rapparee 06 Mar 19 - 09:43 PM
gnu 06 Mar 19 - 05:27 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 Mar 19 - 08:37 AM
Rapparee 05 Mar 19 - 10:11 PM
Donuel 05 Mar 19 - 05:02 PM
keberoxu 05 Mar 19 - 04:30 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Mar 19 - 02:39 PM
Stilly River Sage 05 Mar 19 - 01:02 PM
Donuel 05 Mar 19 - 10:49 AM
Rapparee 05 Mar 19 - 10:34 AM
Donuel 05 Mar 19 - 06:08 AM
Little Hawk 04 Mar 19 - 10:59 PM
Rapparee 04 Mar 19 - 10:03 PM
Donuel 04 Mar 19 - 11:42 AM
Donuel 04 Mar 19 - 11:16 AM
Rapparee 04 Mar 19 - 10:58 AM
Little Hawk 04 Mar 19 - 09:51 AM
Rapparee 03 Mar 19 - 09:06 PM
Stilly River Sage 03 Mar 19 - 08:34 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Mar 19 - 07:58 PM
Rapparee 03 Mar 19 - 06:33 PM
Little Hawk 03 Mar 19 - 12:46 PM
Rapparee 03 Mar 19 - 10:56 AM

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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 11 Mar 19 - 03:32 PM

Rap is correct prima fascia but in Cosmology I see that new proposals and theories are ubiquitous and they are politely never discussed again once proven wrong. I also see that old ideas from posthumous scientists are often rediscovered and repurposed with great success.
Alfred even did that to himself with his own cosmological constant.
However I am scientifically confident that eating Shane will never be a good idea.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Mar 19 - 09:07 AM

"If a wise and respected scientist says something can be done s/he is usually right. If s/he says it cannot be done, s/he is usually wrong."

There is good in Shame McBride, just as there is in everyone. For example, should he ever fall in amongst cannibals he's marinated from the inside out. Except for several diseases he'd fetch premium prices at the meat market.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 10 Mar 19 - 09:51 PM

Little Hawk this week has left me crest fallen after learning there is no evidence of extra dimensions after analyzing the data of gravity waves created by colliding neutron stars. Black hole collisions tell us very little, but neutron stars tell us much more as they throw off material and gravity to this side of the universe.

The gravity waves moved at the speed of light and obeyed the inverse square law the same as light. If there were extra dimensions gravity would have obeyed an inverse cube law (DR3) which would help explain its very weak status compared to the other 3 forces. But no. It is clear that it did not lose energy expanding into extra dimensions. Shit. Regulon just dematerialized/debosonized.

To add to this calamity you attempted to make me a brother to McBride.
I have Heritage.com evidence to dispute this. I am related to a minor and forgotten English King Ferdinrude the forgetful.

The good news is that string theory and black hole dimensions are not in jeopardy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Mar 19 - 09:01 PM

Well said! One has to ask oneself, what would Blind River even BE today without all that it has gained over the years from having Shane McBride and his brother Don living amongst its proud citizenry?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Mar 19 - 07:40 PM

Donuel's right about Shane having his good points. Why, when he was in auto shop class at the alternative high school (where they send kids who get expelled from regular high school), he graciously taught all his classmates how to break into a car and hot-wire it. He is a mentor to an entire generation of car thieves. Just ask any carjacker in the Blind River area and he'll tell you, "I'd never be where I am today without Shane McBride's selfless tutelage." Never mind that "where I am today" is on parole after doing thee years of a five-year sentence for grand theft-auto.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Mar 19 - 07:00 PM

Yes, and if you were to see him stagger finally out of bed on Sunday, early afternoon, after partying till the wee hours the night before, you could almost say he had "risen from the Dead".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 10 Mar 19 - 04:03 PM

Rap you only perpetuate the bad in Shane and never the Good.
There were times he almost performed Christ like miracles like turning wine into watered wine, stalking on water and stealing the blind.

PS the 'Irish' guy was American


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Mar 19 - 03:24 PM

It wasn't this MOAB that was under construction, keb. It was THIS one.

That's the Massive Ordnance Air Burst, aka "The Mother of All Bombs". The particular iteration of the MOAB in that photograph produced a really big explosion about 1/10,000 of a second after the photo was taken. They've been searching for the pieces for a number of years, in an attempt to put the bomb back together again. That's the construction your Web browser was talking about.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 10 Mar 19 - 02:41 PM

The other day,
I went to visit this thread, and
I was directed to a message that said
that
MOAB was under construction for repairs.

Construction?
Repairs?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Mar 19 - 12:48 PM

Shame doesn't look that good. In fact, back in the olden times he'd have to wear a long, white, hooded robe, keep his face and hands covered, and sound a clapper while crying, "Unclean! Unclean!"

Not for leprosy of course, but on purely hygienic grounds...if he was allowed near people at all and wind direction wasn't considered.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Mar 19 - 12:47 PM

That is just a complete embarrassment to all Irish people everywhere.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 10 Mar 19 - 08:43 AM

Shane in his best suit


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 10 Mar 19 - 08:29 AM

Everyone had adventures and different careers in the day.
Here is Rick Gates in his Airplane days   Here he is now




Here is a young Jeff Sessions




me


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Mar 19 - 11:58 PM

Q: What's long and hard on Shane McBride?


A: Third grade.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Mar 19 - 09:44 PM

Well, there's his empty head, empty bed, and empty everything for starters.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Mar 19 - 08:27 PM

Well, but it was a start, eh? Ya gotta start somewhere.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Mar 19 - 03:14 PM

Yes, Shane's attempt to found the greatest, loudest, and most offensive heavy metal band in the world was derailed when, after discovering just how expensive Les Pauls and Marshalls are, he decided to hijack the equipment truck belonging to The Sniveling Shits, a once-infamous punk band that had sunk to playing dives in places like Blind River. He actually was able to hot-wire the truck and drive it to his hovel, but when he opened the cargo door to gloat over all the gear he'd stolen, the truck was empty. That was when he came to the earth-shattering realization that, if you want to steal a band's equipment, you should wait until the gig's over and the roadies have loaded the gear into the truck. Stealing an equipment truck while the band is still on stage might net a couple of empty road cases and a few busted microphone cords, but no guitars, no amps, no drums.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Mar 19 - 10:37 AM

"he decided to join the First Nations because he assumed they were given free beer."

HA! HA! HA! HA! That is wonderful. Sounds just like something Shane would do.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Mar 19 - 09:36 AM

Mom! Mom! Awaken! It's the feast of Saint Bruno of Querfurt! (Also the deathday of that little prig Dominic Savio.) Awaken, Mom!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Mar 19 - 08:46 PM

If my research is correct, his school nickname from the beginning was "Butt Stinky." It was also the name given him by the Batchewana that time he decided to join the First Nations because he assumed they were given free beer. As usual, he was wrong, so he left. That was just as well, as he had annoyed his hosts to the point where they planned to "give him what the Iroquois gave Isaac Jogues." Jogues was canonized in 1930 but it is unlikely if Shame will ever be.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Mar 19 - 06:43 PM

Shane had ambitions to get a photo of himself in the yearbook mooning the entire student body and the school and the town...but they would not accept it. He quit in protest at that point, with a far more glorious objective in mind: to found the greatest, loudest, and most offensive heavy metal band in the world. This has not happened, sadly. Not even close.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Mar 19 - 05:20 PM

I made a slight error regarding Shame. He was not voted "Least Likely To Have Any Date Ever" in high school (he only attended that off and on for a total six months). The award was actually "MOST Likely Not To Not Have Any Date Ever." It's not a very prestigious award even for Shame. His best award was "Most Likely Not To Reproduce."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Mar 19 - 02:10 PM

Some of that is probably accurate. Careful! You are damaging your reputation as the biggest liar west of Long Island Sound!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Mar 19 - 01:37 PM

NAZ is an acronym for Not Altogether a Zero. And while Shame's mother must have loved him for at least a few seconds, his mother's love keeps him from being a Zero or worse. Yes, his IQ actually is in the negative numbers (which the psychology profs at Magill have studied like it was a religion and they the theologians), yes, he has been declared an International Biohazard Area by the World Health Organization, yes, the North American Dental Association has declared his mouth a Dental Disaster Area. But the Canadian Brewers Association has declared him a national treasure because of the treasure he brings time (and the Canadian Shoplifters Guild has lauded him as well).

AND in high school he was voted "Least Likely To Have Any Date Ever" and "Worst Breath". These awards are given out willy-nilly!

But, for a few seconds, his mother loved him (and then he demonstrated his remarkable achievements in projectile vomiting). So he is not a total Zero.

Unlike his "good friend" Chongo/a.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Mar 19 - 12:25 PM

Oh, it's boasting time, eh? Okay, let's hear from Shane:

"I started drinkin' right after they cut the flippin' umbillical cord, eh? I can out-flippin'-drink any man in North-flippin' America and not even get tipsy! Currage is my middle name. First time I got arrested was for petty theft when I was, like, 6 years old, eh? I been in jail at least 800 times, but who's keepin' count? All women want to be with me becoz I am the flippin' MAN! All men wish they was me...except for my fliphead idiot brother, Don. He is too stupid to know what a flippin' looser he is compared to, like, me, eh? I am famous all over the land as the coolest, the baddest, and the best! I am Irish Canadian and my antsesters came from Dangle which is in Ireland. We was always natural leaders there, eh? But people got jellous, so the flipheads driven us out back in the 1800's, and we been spreadin' all over the flippin' world ever since. One day I will go back there and get elecketed maire by flippin' acclamitization. I do not fear man nor beest and will face anyone in a chuggin' contest and flippin' DISTROY them!!! Look in the flippin' mirror, bolthole. What you see there is nothin' compared to ME. Nothin'. You wish you was ME but you never will be becoz I am the flippin' NAZ!" - Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 Mar 19 - 08:48 PM

I vaguely recall swimming lessons at the local YMCA swimming pool when I was in elementary school. Ironic that the only candy I could usually afford after class were the five cent roll of Lifesavers in their vending machine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Mar 19 - 01:21 PM

"... getting out of the sack was a bit of a problem when I was that young." Hahahhaaa!

Bro taught me how to swim. Threw me off a wharf. No sack involved as he was a kind and gentle soul. Why, I remember how he lovingly grabbed me by the wrists and beat my face with my own hands. A real role model.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Mar 19 - 09:43 PM

Didja notice, Mom, how these punk kids post here? Why, I once had a leg cut off by a combine, stuck it back on, and got on with the harvest! Last year I was eaten by a grizzly and cut my way out with a broken toothpick I found in my pocket on the way down (didn't mention it because you would have worried, Mom). While setting tombstones I battled malevolent ghosts so many times I've lost count, but the customers never complained. Four times I was blown to bits when I was in the Army, but managed to pull myself together each time and carry out the mission. When just a little tyke I was taught to swim by my uncle, who took me out in a boat and tossed me overboard -- getting out of the sack was a bit of a problem when I was that young. When I was eighteen months old my mother dropped me on my head in front of the dairy, and it took me three hours to crawl the four blocks home. When I arrived Mom said, "Oh, it's you."

Happy Birthday, Punk Kid.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Mar 19 - 05:27 PM

BWL... you never cease to entertain and to make me laugh! Thanks.

On a more serious note, tomorrow at 17:10 Germany time, the world will celebrate the birth of a beautiful baby boy born in Zweibrücken to William Kenneth Owens and Marie Dora Corinne LeBlanc of Moncton, NB.ca. Yes, 17:10. Mum had to wait for Dad to get off work and get to the hospital... RCAF!

62! Hard to believe.

I have been smoking since I was 16. I have been drinking since I was 23. I ripped my knees apart playing sports. I ripped my hands apart boxing. I ripped my back apart working construction. I have been in auto, snowmobile, and ATV accidents. On one three week trip working on airstrips in Labrador, I nearly lost my life half a dozen times... boats, float planes, a forest fire. Minds me, and I don't count this as a life threatening incident, they say Orcas don’t eat people but I pissed myself when I swam to shore with five cod and four Arctic Char on my back (long story but I had some GREAT fishing in Labrador many times). Closer to home, in the fly infested bog country of Kent County, NB.ca, I had black bears stalk me several times... once, while fishing, I had to back into a beaver dam, pretend the water was deep by slowly getting on my knees when backing up, and dare one to come into the water and ‘play’ with me, my knife drawn. I’ve hand fed moose. I’ve petted moose. I’ve danced around a tree with moose when they were pissed off (hint : moose have four legs and I have two). AND, that’s the tip of the iceberg.

62! Hard to believe. 62... whod’a thunk it!?

From the backwoods... fuck, fight, and hold the light. >;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Mar 19 - 08:37 AM

Mom says that drink is pretty good, but it needs a few soap flakes mixed in to give it that essence of bathtub she's so fond of.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Mar 19 - 10:11 PM

Need a drink, Mom? Here's a genuine old-fashioned drink I just made for you from Log Cabin No. 1 whiskey, molasses, a plug of tobacco for color, some cayenne pepper for zing, and a pinch of grain alcohol for that punch-in-the-stomach aftertaste you like.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 05 Mar 19 - 05:02 PM

I put some anti aging cream on a patch of aging skin


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 05 Mar 19 - 04:30 PM

Ah, BWL, I had to read that one twice.
My brain must be frozen from the extreme cold.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Mar 19 - 02:39 PM

Hi, Mom!

I bought a pair of memory foam inserts for my shoes. They don't work. I was wearing them when I went shopping yesterday and still forgot to buy coffee filters.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 05 Mar 19 - 01:02 PM

Limericks endow
Mother of All BS new
Avenues of wit


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 05 Mar 19 - 10:49 AM

A wonderful bird is the pelican;
His beak can hold more than his belican.
He can hold in his beak
Enough food for a week,
Though I’m damned if I know how the helican!
—Dixon Lanier Merritt (often incorrectly ascribed to Ogden Nash)

Einstein, the frizzy-haired,
said E equals MC squared.
Thus all mass decreases
as activity ceases?
Not my mass, my ass declared!
—Michael R. Burch


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Mar 19 - 10:34 AM

Automation
is vexation,
Quaternions are bad;
Analysis Situs
is only detritus,
I wonder: have I been had?
-----------------------------------------------
Geniac, Geniac, Digital Miracle,
Giving an answer that's Truly empirical.
Learned men, lost in a drawjopping daze,
Watch six-year-old Seniors, all grabbing off A's.
---------------------------------------------------
Rock and Roll with self control,
My Cybernetic baby;
The Laws of Mede and Persian need
That infants heed them--maybe.

Foundations shake,
Computers break
And science goes be-bop,
But baby's joy is still the toy
With foolish ears that flop.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 05 Mar 19 - 06:08 AM

This little pig built a spaceship,
   This little pig paid the bill;
   This little pig made isotopes,
   This little pig ate a pill;
   And this little pig did nothing at all,
   But he's still in little pig swill.

   --------------------------------------------------

   A Follower of Goddard
   And a rising Astrogator
   Were agreed that superthermics
   Was a spatial hot pertater.
   They reached a Super-Nova
   On a bicycle named Beta
   I'd tell you more about it
   But they fused with all of the data.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Mar 19 - 10:59 PM

(Clap! Clap! Clap!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Mar 19 - 10:03 PM

Little Jack Horner
   Sits in a corner
   Extracting cube roots to infinity,
   An assignment for boys
   That will minimize noise
   And produce a more peaceful vicinity.
------------------------------------------------------
Little Bo-Peep
Has lost her sheep.
The radar has failed to find them.
They'll all, face to face,
Meet in Parallel Space,
Preceding their leaders behind them.
----------------------------------------------------------


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 04 Mar 19 - 11:42 AM

amos is direction and rap is the rhyme




whenever two particles meet
infinite particles mediate
that one interaction like
ghost particles borrow energy
from the universal gonad
and cheats the conservation of E

but only briefly

just like a post on moab


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 04 Mar 19 - 11:16 AM

MOAB reveals the nature of time
changing space yet flat as a spime.
The units we use are bound to confuse
Amos is direction and the Rap is the rhyme.


key
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MN4KC_zlW4g


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Mar 19 - 10:58 AM

There was a young man with a hernia
Who said to his doctor, "Goldernia,
When improving my middle
Be sure you don't fiddle
With matter that do not concernia."

-----------------------

The Marquis de Sade and Genet
Are most highly thought of today;
But torture and treachery
Are not my sort of lechery,
So I've given my copies away.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Mar 19 - 09:51 AM

Oh, BRAVO! Reading a good limerick is a great way to start the day.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Mar 19 - 09:06 PM

There once was a sailor named Fink
Whose mates rushed him off to the clink.
Said he, "I've a skunk
As a pet in my bunk --
That's no reason for raising a stink."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 03 Mar 19 - 08:34 PM

It scans nicely, but it's difficult to un-see the imagery therein.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Mar 19 - 07:58 PM

A randy young farmer named Choate
Once rogered an old nanny goat
Three ewes and a sow
Two mares and a cow
Each wearing his wife's petticoat


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Mar 19 - 06:33 PM

Deeply. In fact, mixed up in the Watergate thing with Deep Woodward and Bernstein and Deep Choate.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Mar 19 - 12:46 PM

So if you went to any of those places, you would definitely be in Choate.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Mar 19 - 10:56 AM

Places
Canada

    Choate, British Columbia, a locality in the Fraser Canyon of British Columbia, Canada
    Choate Lake, a lake in the Cariboo region of British Columbia, Canada

United States

    Choate Rosemary Hall, a prep school in Wallingford, Connecticut
    Choate House (Massachusetts), a historic house on Choate Island in the Crane Wildlife Refuge, Essex, Massachusetts
    Choate Creek, a creek in Michigan
    Choate House (Pleasantville, New York), 1867 house converted into a private sanitarium
    Choate, Texas, a town
    Choate, Wisconsin, an unincorporated community

Other uses

    Choate (law), a legal term
    Choate (surname)

(From Wikipedia)

There is also agricultural usage: "The choate got stuck in the fence."
And in the entertainment world they say, "The choate must go on!"
People in general wear a warm choate in cold weather, and usually choate the door.
Surprisingly, I have been told I'm full of choate. That really got my choate.


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