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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 20 Apr 19 - 08:56 PM
Donuel 20 Apr 19 - 10:44 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Apr 19 - 10:39 AM
Donuel 20 Apr 19 - 10:36 AM
keberoxu 19 Apr 19 - 10:57 PM
Rapparee 19 Apr 19 - 09:20 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 19 Apr 19 - 09:10 PM
Stilly River Sage 19 Apr 19 - 08:54 PM
Little Hawk 19 Apr 19 - 07:13 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 19 Apr 19 - 06:35 PM
Donuel 19 Apr 19 - 05:23 PM
keberoxu 19 Apr 19 - 11:34 AM
Little Hawk 18 Apr 19 - 06:15 PM
Donuel 18 Apr 19 - 02:46 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 18 Apr 19 - 10:40 AM
Little Hawk 17 Apr 19 - 10:52 PM
Rapparee 17 Apr 19 - 09:20 PM
Donuel 17 Apr 19 - 12:32 PM
Little Hawk 17 Apr 19 - 10:20 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 17 Apr 19 - 09:30 AM
Donuel 17 Apr 19 - 08:18 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 17 Apr 19 - 08:03 AM
Little Hawk 17 Apr 19 - 12:10 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 16 Apr 19 - 11:48 PM
Rapparee 16 Apr 19 - 09:24 PM
keberoxu 16 Apr 19 - 08:41 PM
Little Hawk 15 Apr 19 - 10:26 PM
Rapparee 14 Apr 19 - 09:59 PM
Stilly River Sage 14 Apr 19 - 01:15 PM
Donuel 14 Apr 19 - 01:06 PM
Stilly River Sage 14 Apr 19 - 11:24 AM
Donuel 14 Apr 19 - 09:09 AM
Donuel 14 Apr 19 - 06:56 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Apr 19 - 03:42 AM
Ebbie 14 Apr 19 - 02:50 AM
Stilly River Sage 14 Apr 19 - 01:00 AM
Rapparee 13 Apr 19 - 09:44 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 Apr 19 - 01:28 PM
Stilly River Sage 13 Apr 19 - 12:55 PM
Rapparee 12 Apr 19 - 09:50 PM
Donuel 12 Apr 19 - 03:31 PM
keberoxu 12 Apr 19 - 12:09 PM
Rapparee 11 Apr 19 - 10:31 PM
Donuel 11 Apr 19 - 06:57 AM
Donuel 11 Apr 19 - 04:18 AM
keberoxu 10 Apr 19 - 06:36 PM
Little Hawk 10 Apr 19 - 10:48 AM
Rapparee 10 Apr 19 - 08:17 AM
Little Hawk 10 Apr 19 - 12:21 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Apr 19 - 09:47 PM

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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Apr 19 - 08:56 PM

I have survived this far.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 20 Apr 19 - 10:44 AM

BWL You win a Q-B doll! It is one hidden ridge inside WV.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Apr 19 - 10:39 AM

Actually, playing a banjo while it's on one's knee is extremely awkward and not at all ergonomic. Most players either use straps or rest their banjos in their laps. Try playing a banjo that's resting on your knee and you'll wind up with scoliosis.

When Stephen Foster wrote "Oh Susannah", he only placed the banjo on the singer's knee because he needed a word to rhyme with "me" and "see".

🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵

Oh, I come from Alabama with a banjo in my lap.
I was bound for Louisiana, but now I can't find my map.
Oh, Susannah! That girl gave me the clap.
And I come from Alabama with a banjo in my lap.

🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵

See? Not the same song at all....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 20 Apr 19 - 10:36 AM

old dog food: try garlic powder-it tastes more like human food.
A higher fat content with a little butter won't hurt.
Dogs deserve quality of life 'enjoyments' over dreary longevity too.

The coordinates are a center of a mandated 100 mile radio silence at Sugar Grove where a 1973 Navy intelligence installation was.
It happens to be the high water mark of Stanford Research Institute and the Central Intellegence agency in the use of advanced psychic intelligence gathering. Two of the maestro psychics were successful in mentally hacking the top secret installation down to penetrating the file cabinates and folder names. Overnight their success turned them into possible domestic threats capable of gathering nuclear codes and god knows what else. As a result the loudest most paranoid voices cut off the nose of this emerging science to spite themselves. To this day Russia is more advanced in this branch of inquiry than the USA.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 19 Apr 19 - 10:57 PM

Well, we know it won't be
on the knee of the manatee
because manatees
don't have knees ...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Apr 19 - 09:20 PM

Do you have to go around with a banjo or a manatee on your knee?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Apr 19 - 09:10 PM

Google Maps indicates those coordinates are only a few miles from the Virginia/West Virginia border. That puts them firmly within the West Virginia Zone of Pederastic Predisposition.

It's sort of like the part of Florida where I live. It's so close to the Alabama border that it's often referred to as "Lower Alabama". Geographically and politically part of Florida, culturally part of Alabama.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 19 Apr 19 - 08:54 PM

I have an old dog who I thought might be losing her appetite, but she's a crafty old pooch. I have her on a senior food that she liked for a while, then she was on some medication that might have made it taste odd, so she stopped eating it as willingly. I started sprinkling brewers yeast over the dog food and it worked for a while, but she's not happy with it and the yeast isn't enough to coax her to eat. Yesterday I mixed some of the younger dog's food in with hers (this is what she used to eat also). The old rascal today has picked up a mouthful of mixed food from the bowl, spit it on the ground, and eats the pieces of the other dog's food that she prefers and leaves the rest.

I surrender. She's old, and her arthritis would benefit from the senior food, but I'll give her the one she wants.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Apr 19 - 07:13 PM

You're thinking about West Virginia.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Apr 19 - 06:35 PM

Okay, I'll play. Google Maps says those coordinates are in the hills of Virginia, somewhere near Stonewall. Looks like the kind of place that makes you grateful for mobile phones. Because if your car should break down there, asking a local for help might be answered by, "Sure, we'll help ya out! Just bend over and let old Zeke have his way with yer bunghole fer an hour or so while I play this banjo."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Apr 19 - 05:23 PM

38*23' 45-48"N, 79*25'00"W


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 19 Apr 19 - 11:34 AM

Heavy rains on the way, MOM,
let's get you upstairs before it starts pouring.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Apr 19 - 06:15 PM

"* You don't really think being arrested for driving without a license will keep the dear girl off the roads, do you?"

Not bloody likely! Winston's pockets are deep, and his connections are many.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 18 Apr 19 - 02:46 PM

My Frankencar YG2 is a camaro frame, Aston Martin suspension, Corvette engine and a Yugo body can't go as fast as a Bently but I never got a speeding ticket since it doesn't run.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Apr 19 - 10:40 AM

Poor Ronnie! I suppose that means she'll have to drive* Auntie Penelope's spare car, a wretched Bentley SUV, until the necessary bribes are paid legal issuess are swept under the table properly dealt with. That will be a tremendous hardship on the poor dear. She's used to driving the Lambo, which tops out at 230 MPH (370 KPH). The Bentley's mere 187 MPH (300 KPH) top speed will feel like crawling by comparison.

And what if any of her friends should see her driving that middle-class football-mum abomination? Perhaps a new hair color and style plus a hat and some really dark sunglasses will keep her sufficiently unrecognizable until the Aventador is returned.

And one of the bottles she tossed during the police chase had her entire supply of Ecstasy in it. And her supplier's on holiday in Nice until mid-May.

* You don't really think being arrested for driving without a license will keep the dear girl off the roads, do you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Apr 19 - 10:52 PM

That sounds just typical.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Apr 19 - 09:20 PM

From time to time I hear from my colleagues abroad about some of LH's critters. This morning I received an email from the library near Bad Penny's home -- the Rutledge Library, founded by her quite literate and literary great-great-great grandfather, Admiral Lord Alexander Rutledge, RN, OBE, VC. He's the one who fought at Waterloo, Trafalgar, and New Orleans, as well as in numerous lesser-known engagements. At one time there were Rumors about he and Queen Victoria, but they were all for naught as she seems to have been close with a certain Mr. Brown from Scotland.

Anyway, it seems that Victoria Rutledge was "taken up" on charges of driving without a license and without a stitch on. Speeding down the road toward Merkin-On-Peawater she seems to have splashed considerable mud and water on two local constables, who gave chase. Several empty bottles were jettisoned from the Rutledge automobile but since they were not found the contents aren't known; her blood-alcohol level was "quite high" my sources say. Veronica is to appear before the Magistrate Friday afternoon; her Lamborghini has, in the meantime, been impounded.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 17 Apr 19 - 12:32 PM

Tell Penny not to fret. The Cathedral will end up with a new life and address. Abu Sidal (Aswan Statues), London Bridge, Queen Mary, Gallitzin Castle - all have been moved from their original location.
I am looking forward to the new Amazon Notre Dame Cathedral relocated to the beautiful shores of New Jersey over looking the NYC skyline.
Amazon Notre Dame, hey its got a ring to it.

If the French squawk we could trade the statue of liberty for the church, we don't need liberty anymore with Trump in charge.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Apr 19 - 10:20 AM

I've had moments when I wondered about that too.

(Ook?)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Apr 19 - 09:30 AM

No, I've never suspected that Donuel is one of Little Hawk's creations. However, I have, at times, suspected that one of the creations might be the real person (or ape) and Little Hawk the imaginary one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 17 Apr 19 - 08:18 AM

I am surprised you never suspected that Donuel is one of Little Hawk's creations.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Apr 19 - 08:03 AM

I suppose that's as positive a report as one could hope for, given the subject. I was afraid Winston's behavior might have driven poor Penny to become addicted to pain killers or take up dogging.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Apr 19 - 12:10 AM

Penelope's life hasn't changed much. Her frosty relationship with her nominal "husband", Winston, has become cooler and more distant than ever, but without any major incidents...no violence or death threats or legal actions. They both keep busy with their own interests, which are numerous, and basically don't really give a damn what the other is up to. Her niece, Veronica, continues to behave like a spoiled idiot, costing Winston considerable funds "fixing" various problems she has caused for herself and others. Fortunately, he's very wealthy, so it's manageable. Hector Ballsworthy, the mad journalist continues to write articles about Lizard people in the ruling classes, and naming Winston as one of them, but he's been distracted lately by the Brexit fiasco, and that's keeping him busy. Penelope is deeply shocked and upset about the Notre Dame fire (as are many of us), and Ballsworthy will no doubt be reporting that the Lizards are behind it. Life goes merrily on in the Cotswolds.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Apr 19 - 11:48 PM

Speaking of Little Hawk's creations, what has Penelope Rutledge been up to lately? Seems like I recall her fortunes taking a downturn a while back. I certainly hope she's not living in some trailer park, subsisting on Twinkies and cheap booze while surrounded by a herd of unruly and ungrateful children....

No! Wait! That's not Penelope! That's Mom!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Apr 19 - 09:24 PM

When I received my Master of Science in Library and Information Science (Case Western Reserve University, 1977) I took the following oath:

By all that I and my people hold sacred, I swear that I will never publish, orally or in writing or in any other form (e.g., cuneiform, American Sign Language, Unix) any false or misleading information and will, to the best of my ability and up to and including the loss of my life, prevent others from doing so.

Thus, whatever I utter regarding LH or his "creations" -- more precisely, his creatures -- must be the honest Truth as I have researched it. Those who malign my good name in this regard will henceforth be reported the the International Federation of Library Associations (IFLA) for attention by the Association's Disciplinary Committee.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 16 Apr 19 - 08:41 PM

Careful, Little Hawk.
You still have the Most Gracious Imperious Rapturous Emperor out here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Apr 19 - 10:26 PM

"Prior to Amos's passing, 50% of posts to this thread consisted of little more than Rap and Amos flinging digital spitballs at each other."

And at Chongo, Penelope Rutledge, and Shane McBride!

My beloved stable of lead characters have had to endure years of cruel abuse from Amos and Rap, and have been viciously slandered over and over again with absolutely vile and inappropriate tales made up by those two to embarrass them. It's been just awful.

I trust that Amos now sees them in a kindlier light, having moved on past this vale of tears. At least I hope so. I intend to ask him about that when I too depart this mortal coil. We should have much to discuss when it happens.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Apr 19 - 09:59 PM

I have just finished two days being immersed in Irish language and culture at the Southeast Idaho Public Health offices. Now I can answer, when someone asks "Conas a tá tú?" with something like "Te me go briské."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 14 Apr 19 - 01:15 PM

That seems a suitable transaction for MOM and MOAB.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Apr 19 - 01:06 PM

Excellent Fitzwilly Stilly.

A fitzwilly is when a post ambiguously refers to another post.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 14 Apr 19 - 11:24 AM

Excellent comeback, Don!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Apr 19 - 09:09 AM

Ebbie you too can be #58888


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Subject: RE: BS: The Father of all BS Porno
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Apr 19 - 06:56 AM

And now for something entirely different:
http://www.mydadwroteaporno.com/podcast

Perhaps he was the McGonagall of literary porn/poem.
Perhaps he is a window onto dyslexic sex.
Perhaps 1.5 million views were disappointed.

ps Rated KNEE kinky non endorsed endorsment .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Apr 19 - 03:42 AM

Ebbie, now that Amos has gone, those Ks will probably pass much more slowly. Prior to Amos's passing, 50% of posts to this thread consisted of little more than Rap and Amos flinging digital spitballs at each other. The rest of Mom's children tolerated their behavior because it kept the post count moving inexorably upward.

Those of us who remain on the green side of the grass shall endeavor to advance the post count to ever increasing heights, but it ain't gonna be easy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 14 Apr 19 - 02:50 AM

I do hate to complain but just how long will y'all stay in the 58K number? I myself have nothing to say but I do think you could do better. ;|


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 14 Apr 19 - 01:00 AM

She's probably done those also.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Apr 19 - 09:44 PM

She could go swimming in a cesspit. Or catch a skunk. Or roll in not-too-long-dead deer guts. Or have the cows use her for a target in an elimination tournament. Lots of worse things.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Apr 19 - 01:28 PM

Sometimes I wish I had a small dog instead of a large one. If a small dog should get the urge to visit my neighbor's cattle, it could just walk under the lowest strand of his barbed wire fence. But if my large dog gets that same urge, she has to crawl under the wire.

That would be okay if the cattle never shat near the fence, but they do. So, about once a month, she'll crawl right through a really stinky pile of cow flop. She learned to avoid the wire's barbs after one experience, but avoiding piles of cow shit seems to be taking a bit longer. Like five years and counting.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 13 Apr 19 - 12:55 PM

It's a deluge outside and there are dogs staying close-by, as if my presence makes the storm less scary. And we have a visiting dog, a tiny King Charles Cavalier Spaniel who looks so silly following the big dogs around, but follow she does. Last night she disappeared into the darkness with the others as they decided they must bark at something at the back fence around midnight. And she's latched herself to my blue heeler, deciding they're now best friends.

Dogs may be bred to the shapes and breeds humans desire, but when it comes down to it, they don't go for the human BS - they're just four canines as far as they're concerned.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Apr 19 - 09:50 PM

My taxes are filed. While I did not have to pay either the Feds or the State, neither am I getting much in the way of returns. But I live in The Greatest Nation On Earth and I am ready, willing, and able to pay whatever it takes for the privilege of living here. Yessir, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OvLdawL3wHM


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 12 Apr 19 - 03:31 PM

Rap if you lived in Norway the gov automatically files your taxes.
All you have to do is pay.

Due to raccoons looking like bandits I have a terrorist cell of raccoons.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 12 Apr 19 - 12:09 PM

Then there is a rafter of turkeys,
which was sound-bit on the AM news radio station here,
during the commuter traffic report.

There was, you know, a communal collection of turkeys
in the darned highway, blocking traffic.

When I looked up "rafter of turkeys"
the answer was, well, there is this archaic word origin
in which raft is connected to weaving and textiles.
And the thing about turkeys on the move as a group
is that they weave about back and forth,
supposedly as a way to foil predators in pursuit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Apr 19 - 10:31 PM

Shame never leaves his sanctuary in Don's backhouse. To do so would be to face arrest, extradition, and imprisonment for malodorous conduct. Worse, he would be bathed, deloused, and have what little body hair he has shaved off. That would expose what little "manhood" he has left after all those years of manual abrasion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 11 Apr 19 - 06:57 AM

Shane shouted from behind Barrs " the police spied on me during my campaign to burgalize the white house - it was a coup against me" after London police dragged him from his basement hidaway in the Ecquadorin embassy. The President of Ecquador thanked the London police and the US for an extra 600 million dollars of foriegn aid.
*Dullbert spin news report

UK to have a monsterous halloween celebration this year, or not.
*Dullbert Spin News report.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 11 Apr 19 - 04:18 AM

A bevy of blondes ate wedges of pizza while watching a game of thrones swan song finale.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 10 Apr 19 - 06:36 PM

A bevy of swans, that's what it is:
Senoufou (come baaaaaaack)
tells us every spring about the Mad Swans,
there is a bevy of them where she lives.

They are a bevy of swans, or even a game of swans,
when they are waddling down the town road
and blocking motor traffic.

But should they take to the air,
they become
a wedge of swans.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Apr 19 - 10:48 AM

Very much so, and he's "done" almost everything possible by now. He is an ape of all trades.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Apr 19 - 08:17 AM

Isn't Chachi a do-it-yourself kind of guy?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Apr 19 - 12:21 AM

If you want your butt tested, it can probably be arranged. Contact Chongo's friend Chachi in Chicago. He'll set it up for a modest fee, I'm sure.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Apr 19 - 09:47 PM

Atmospheric testing my butt! I know Cthulu eggs when I see 'em.


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