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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 17 Apr 19 - 12:10 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 16 Apr 19 - 11:48 PM
Rapparee 16 Apr 19 - 09:24 PM
keberoxu 16 Apr 19 - 08:41 PM
Little Hawk 15 Apr 19 - 10:26 PM
Rapparee 14 Apr 19 - 09:59 PM
Stilly River Sage 14 Apr 19 - 01:15 PM
Donuel 14 Apr 19 - 01:06 PM
Stilly River Sage 14 Apr 19 - 11:24 AM
Donuel 14 Apr 19 - 09:09 AM
Donuel 14 Apr 19 - 06:56 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Apr 19 - 03:42 AM
Ebbie 14 Apr 19 - 02:50 AM
Stilly River Sage 14 Apr 19 - 01:00 AM
Rapparee 13 Apr 19 - 09:44 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 Apr 19 - 01:28 PM
Stilly River Sage 13 Apr 19 - 12:55 PM
Rapparee 12 Apr 19 - 09:50 PM
Donuel 12 Apr 19 - 03:31 PM
keberoxu 12 Apr 19 - 12:09 PM
Rapparee 11 Apr 19 - 10:31 PM
Donuel 11 Apr 19 - 06:57 AM
Donuel 11 Apr 19 - 04:18 AM
keberoxu 10 Apr 19 - 06:36 PM
Little Hawk 10 Apr 19 - 10:48 AM
Rapparee 10 Apr 19 - 08:17 AM
Little Hawk 10 Apr 19 - 12:21 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Apr 19 - 09:47 PM
Rapparee 09 Apr 19 - 08:57 PM
Donuel 09 Apr 19 - 07:19 PM
Rapparee 08 Apr 19 - 10:31 PM
Donuel 08 Apr 19 - 08:50 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Apr 19 - 08:06 PM
Little Hawk 08 Apr 19 - 05:53 PM
Donuel 08 Apr 19 - 05:44 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Apr 19 - 05:12 PM
Donuel 08 Apr 19 - 01:50 PM
Little Hawk 08 Apr 19 - 01:03 PM
Donuel 07 Apr 19 - 05:43 PM
Rapparee 07 Apr 19 - 03:34 PM
Stilly River Sage 07 Apr 19 - 12:39 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 Apr 19 - 10:52 PM
Rapparee 06 Apr 19 - 09:54 PM
Stilly River Sage 05 Apr 19 - 11:50 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Apr 19 - 11:22 PM
Little Hawk 05 Apr 19 - 09:18 PM
Rapparee 05 Apr 19 - 08:46 PM
Donuel 05 Apr 19 - 08:42 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Apr 19 - 02:17 PM
Stilly River Sage 05 Apr 19 - 11:25 AM

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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Apr 19 - 12:10 AM

Penelope's life hasn't changed much. Her frosty relationship with her nominal "husband", Winston, has become cooler and more distant than ever, but without any major incidents...no violence or death threats or legal actions. They both keep busy with their own interests, which are numerous, and basically don't really give a damn what the other is up to. Her niece, Veronica, continues to behave like a spoiled idiot, costing Winston considerable funds "fixing" various problems she has caused for herself and others. Fortunately, he's very wealthy, so it's manageable. Hector Ballsworthy, the mad journalist continues to write articles about Lizard people in the ruling classes, and naming Winston as one of them, but he's been distracted lately by the Brexit fiasco, and that's keeping him busy. Penelope is deeply shocked and upset about the Notre Dame fire (as are many of us), and Ballsworthy will no doubt be reporting that the Lizards are behind it. Life goes merrily on in the Cotswolds.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Apr 19 - 11:48 PM

Speaking of Little Hawk's creations, what has Penelope Rutledge been up to lately? Seems like I recall her fortunes taking a downturn a while back. I certainly hope she's not living in some trailer park, subsisting on Twinkies and cheap booze while surrounded by a herd of unruly and ungrateful children....

No! Wait! That's not Penelope! That's Mom!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Apr 19 - 09:24 PM

When I received my Master of Science in Library and Information Science (Case Western Reserve University, 1977) I took the following oath:

By all that I and my people hold sacred, I swear that I will never publish, orally or in writing or in any other form (e.g., cuneiform, American Sign Language, Unix) any false or misleading information and will, to the best of my ability and up to and including the loss of my life, prevent others from doing so.

Thus, whatever I utter regarding LH or his "creations" -- more precisely, his creatures -- must be the honest Truth as I have researched it. Those who malign my good name in this regard will henceforth be reported the the International Federation of Library Associations (IFLA) for attention by the Association's Disciplinary Committee.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 16 Apr 19 - 08:41 PM

Careful, Little Hawk.
You still have the Most Gracious Imperious Rapturous Emperor out here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Apr 19 - 10:26 PM

"Prior to Amos's passing, 50% of posts to this thread consisted of little more than Rap and Amos flinging digital spitballs at each other."

And at Chongo, Penelope Rutledge, and Shane McBride!

My beloved stable of lead characters have had to endure years of cruel abuse from Amos and Rap, and have been viciously slandered over and over again with absolutely vile and inappropriate tales made up by those two to embarrass them. It's been just awful.

I trust that Amos now sees them in a kindlier light, having moved on past this vale of tears. At least I hope so. I intend to ask him about that when I too depart this mortal coil. We should have much to discuss when it happens.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Apr 19 - 09:59 PM

I have just finished two days being immersed in Irish language and culture at the Southeast Idaho Public Health offices. Now I can answer, when someone asks "Conas a tá tú?" with something like "Te me go briské."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 14 Apr 19 - 01:15 PM

That seems a suitable transaction for MOM and MOAB.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Apr 19 - 01:06 PM

Excellent Fitzwilly Stilly.

A fitzwilly is when a post ambiguously refers to another post.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 14 Apr 19 - 11:24 AM

Excellent comeback, Don!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Apr 19 - 09:09 AM

Ebbie you too can be #58888


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Subject: RE: BS: The Father of all BS Porno
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Apr 19 - 06:56 AM

And now for something entirely different:
http://www.mydadwroteaporno.com/podcast

Perhaps he was the McGonagall of literary porn/poem.
Perhaps he is a window onto dyslexic sex.
Perhaps 1.5 million views were disappointed.

ps Rated KNEE kinky non endorsed endorsment .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Apr 19 - 03:42 AM

Ebbie, now that Amos has gone, those Ks will probably pass much more slowly. Prior to Amos's passing, 50% of posts to this thread consisted of little more than Rap and Amos flinging digital spitballs at each other. The rest of Mom's children tolerated their behavior because it kept the post count moving inexorably upward.

Those of us who remain on the green side of the grass shall endeavor to advance the post count to ever increasing heights, but it ain't gonna be easy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 14 Apr 19 - 02:50 AM

I do hate to complain but just how long will y'all stay in the 58K number? I myself have nothing to say but I do think you could do better. ;|


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 14 Apr 19 - 01:00 AM

She's probably done those also.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Apr 19 - 09:44 PM

She could go swimming in a cesspit. Or catch a skunk. Or roll in not-too-long-dead deer guts. Or have the cows use her for a target in an elimination tournament. Lots of worse things.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Apr 19 - 01:28 PM

Sometimes I wish I had a small dog instead of a large one. If a small dog should get the urge to visit my neighbor's cattle, it could just walk under the lowest strand of his barbed wire fence. But if my large dog gets that same urge, she has to crawl under the wire.

That would be okay if the cattle never shat near the fence, but they do. So, about once a month, she'll crawl right through a really stinky pile of cow flop. She learned to avoid the wire's barbs after one experience, but avoiding piles of cow shit seems to be taking a bit longer. Like five years and counting.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 13 Apr 19 - 12:55 PM

It's a deluge outside and there are dogs staying close-by, as if my presence makes the storm less scary. And we have a visiting dog, a tiny King Charles Cavalier Spaniel who looks so silly following the big dogs around, but follow she does. Last night she disappeared into the darkness with the others as they decided they must bark at something at the back fence around midnight. And she's latched herself to my blue heeler, deciding they're now best friends.

Dogs may be bred to the shapes and breeds humans desire, but when it comes down to it, they don't go for the human BS - they're just four canines as far as they're concerned.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Apr 19 - 09:50 PM

My taxes are filed. While I did not have to pay either the Feds or the State, neither am I getting much in the way of returns. But I live in The Greatest Nation On Earth and I am ready, willing, and able to pay whatever it takes for the privilege of living here. Yessir, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OvLdawL3wHM


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 12 Apr 19 - 03:31 PM

Rap if you lived in Norway the gov automatically files your taxes.
All you have to do is pay.

Due to raccoons looking like bandits I have a terrorist cell of raccoons.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 12 Apr 19 - 12:09 PM

Then there is a rafter of turkeys,
which was sound-bit on the AM news radio station here,
during the commuter traffic report.

There was, you know, a communal collection of turkeys
in the darned highway, blocking traffic.

When I looked up "rafter of turkeys"
the answer was, well, there is this archaic word origin
in which raft is connected to weaving and textiles.
And the thing about turkeys on the move as a group
is that they weave about back and forth,
supposedly as a way to foil predators in pursuit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Apr 19 - 10:31 PM

Shame never leaves his sanctuary in Don's backhouse. To do so would be to face arrest, extradition, and imprisonment for malodorous conduct. Worse, he would be bathed, deloused, and have what little body hair he has shaved off. That would expose what little "manhood" he has left after all those years of manual abrasion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 11 Apr 19 - 06:57 AM

Shane shouted from behind Barrs " the police spied on me during my campaign to burgalize the white house - it was a coup against me" after London police dragged him from his basement hidaway in the Ecquadorin embassy. The President of Ecquador thanked the London police and the US for an extra 600 million dollars of foriegn aid.
*Dullbert spin news report

UK to have a monsterous halloween celebration this year, or not.
*Dullbert Spin News report.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 11 Apr 19 - 04:18 AM

A bevy of blondes ate wedges of pizza while watching a game of thrones swan song finale.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 10 Apr 19 - 06:36 PM

A bevy of swans, that's what it is:
Senoufou (come baaaaaaack)
tells us every spring about the Mad Swans,
there is a bevy of them where she lives.

They are a bevy of swans, or even a game of swans,
when they are waddling down the town road
and blocking motor traffic.

But should they take to the air,
they become
a wedge of swans.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Apr 19 - 10:48 AM

Very much so, and he's "done" almost everything possible by now. He is an ape of all trades.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Apr 19 - 08:17 AM

Isn't Chachi a do-it-yourself kind of guy?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Apr 19 - 12:21 AM

If you want your butt tested, it can probably be arranged. Contact Chongo's friend Chachi in Chicago. He'll set it up for a modest fee, I'm sure.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Apr 19 - 09:47 PM

Atmospheric testing my butt! I know Cthulu eggs when I see 'em.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Apr 19 - 08:57 PM

Yeah, that's what They said it was. We know better.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 09 Apr 19 - 07:19 PM

AZURE Vapor Tracers over Norway
Image Credit & Copyright: Yang Sutie
Explanation: What's happening in the sky? The atmosphere over northern Norway appeared quite strange for about 30 minutes last Friday when colorful clouds, dots, and plumes suddenly appeared. The colors were actually created by the NASA-funded Auroral Zone Upwelling Rocket Experiment (AZURE) which dispersed gas tracers to probe winds in Earth's upper atmosphere. AZURE's tracers originated from two short-lived sounding rockets launched from the Andøya Space Center in Norway. The harmless gases, trimethylaluminum and a barium/strontium mixture, were released into the ionosphere at altitudes of 115 and 250 km. The vapor trails were observed dispersing from several ground stations. Mapping how AZURE's vapors dispersed should increase humanity's understanding of how the solar wind transfers energy to the Earth and powers aurora.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Apr 19 - 10:31 PM

Today I found the first Golf egg of the season in the back yard. It said "Callaway 3" on it, meaning it was the third egg the Callaway laid this year.

And for all you nonbelievers and scoffers -- here is a very recent (like this week) picture from Norway documenting Their invasion of Earth! Those are NOT from airplanes! Fortunately, the Arctic Corps of the Idaho Legion was standing by and currently are in Hammerfest, ready to defend Earth. All contributions (in US dollars) are welcome, and 100% goes to support these brave sons and daughters of Earth.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 08 Apr 19 - 08:50 PM

A QUESTION

If the Protestants all pray
And the Buddhists chant a bit
And the rabbi in the synagogue
Gets Moses in on it
And the Catholics count their beads
And the Pope says it's OK
And if all the monks and friars
Pray their nuts off night and day
And all the shamans round the world
Get themselves into a trance
And the whirling swirling dervishes
Do their usual little dance
If the Sikhs all sing their hymns
And the Hindus rise at dawn
And the rest of us read the old I-Ching
The Bible or Koran and
Mein Kampfs that abound
If the holy trumpets sound
And the drummers have a bash
If the Yogis levitate
And the Mormons raise the cash
If Mohammed rolls his sleeves up
(Extra Peace and blessings be upon him)
And the Baptists take a Sunday stroll
To the river for a swim
And if those who handle snakes
Stay steady and steadfast
And if those who practice Zen
Get nowhere pretty fast
with Meuller reports
and Barr's retorts
And if the IRS unzips tax returns
and takes a sneak peek real quick
And If the preacher in the pulpit
Has his Bible there to thump
Do you think there's any chance
Of getting rid of Donald Trump?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Apr 19 - 08:06 PM

The problem with Shane's get-rich-quick scheme is that he's so brain-damaged he believes his own scam. I hear he's already collected hundreds of worthless dolls and action figures, but he's convinced himself they actually were used as sex toys by female celebrities. He'd rather sniff them than sell them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Apr 19 - 05:53 PM

That sounds like a good plan for Shane to raise some *serious* beer money, if he can just get organized to do it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 08 Apr 19 - 05:44 PM

Why people believe/buy wierd stuff sturbentmirroarsatane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Apr 19 - 05:12 PM

Yes, a clever sales pitch is the key to selling worthless stuff on Ebay.

I hear Shane McBride has a plan for selling huge numbers of totally non-collectible dolls and action figures by claiming they were once used as sex toys by various female celebrities. He thinks a worthless Barbie knock-off will sell for big money if he says Gwen Stefani once stuck it up her butt.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 08 Apr 19 - 01:50 PM

KT boundary asteoid material for ebay sale THE ARTILLERY THAT KILLED THE DINOSAURS
may contain extra terrestrial Iridium that rid the planet of nearly all previous life.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Apr 19 - 01:03 PM

Almost anything *can* be sold on Ebay...specially if you craft a really clever sales pitch to go with it and photograph it well. There is someone out there who wants it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 07 Apr 19 - 05:43 PM

I'm going to be poked in the eyes with stainless steel but the scalpels are only 2 mm wide at the most.

What we leave will be puzzleing for some and traesures to others.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Apr 19 - 03:34 PM

For goodness sakes! Your children will probably treasure them after you're gone! Better still, give the things to them now so that you and they can "treasure" them together whilst you chortle in your beer!

Actually, there are things we used to have that are gone now. Like the stone ax head a neighbor gave me, which I now know was Mississippian culture or earlier. Or the old military uniforms from WW2 and the Vietnam Era...they'd go to a museum. Or the...well, it's all gone.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 Apr 19 - 12:39 PM

Makes my eyeballs hurt just to read that, BeDub! My most recent poke in the eye was a pine needle when I was mowing, it snuck in from the side past my glasses.

I skipped the end of the estate sale AND the campus art glass sale (that is fabulous, but I'm already dusting many glass pieces I already picked up there over the years).

I took down a small antique spoon rack and took all of the various small family antiques (wire-framed glasses for someone who must have been legally blind, based upon the lenses), a button hook, an old ink bottle, and from a couple of decades ago when I was drinking Red Rose Tea, several English porcelain little figures that were freebies in the box. Amazingly, these little oddities sell on eBay. I'll put them in an envelope, set up a low-ball auction, and someone can have these worthless pieces of clay for a song.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Apr 19 - 10:52 PM

Hi, Mom!

You've probably heard someone say, "It's better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick." Well, would a poke in the eye with a sharp stick really be much worse than a poke in the eye with a dull stick? I've been poked in the eye with all sort of sticks, sharp, dull and in between, and, take my word for it, they all hurt.

Now, being poked in the eye with a knitting needle is another matter all together, and one in which I claim neither experience nor expertise.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Apr 19 - 09:54 PM

Really annoy them by collecting stuff from the Franklin Mint, kitschy little figurines, etc. Keep change in a large plastic jug, mostly pennies. Get a whole bunch of unlabeled old photos, put them in a box, and squirrel them away; label the box "Family Photos." If you know how, buy a diary and put irrelevant stuff in it in shorthand.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 05 Apr 19 - 11:50 PM

Reminds, me there is the last day of a neighborhood estate sale tomorrow. They had a lot of funky old tools in the back shed. The augur didn't have a bit in it, so I'm not sure which of all of the stray bits lying around would fit it, or I'd pick it up just as something to hang up in the garage for my kids to fuss about years from now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Apr 19 - 11:22 PM

The only obscure ancient artifact I am the caretaker for is a gallon-size Trek antifreeze can from the 1950s. My dad used it to store miscellaneous nuts and bolts. I use it for the same thing. In fact, most of the nuts and bolts in it belonged to him. Dad was a much more of a pack rat collector of nuts and bolts than I am.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Apr 19 - 09:18 PM

I am deeply saddened to hear that Shane has lost two of his Idaho relatives. There will be mourning among the McBride diaspora all over the world tonight. And drinking.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Apr 19 - 08:46 PM

After a spell, I have returned! Lafayette, je suis ici! The Guard dies but never surrenders! They shall not pass! Jai Mahakali, Ayo Gorkhali! Excelsior! Onward! You sons of bitches want to live forever? Follow me! Har Har Mahadev! Montjoie Saint Denis! Deus vult!   Ktož jsú boží bojovníci! Bole So Nihal...Sat Sri Akal! Hakkaa päälle! Dieu et Mon Droit! Til Valhall! Remember Goliad! Remember the Alamo! Remember the Maine! Remember...ah, there's too much to remember.

Anyway, Mom, I'm back.

And you know what, Mom? Not one, but TWO McBrides were murdered around here in the last couple of weeks! Charley up in Salmon and Kevin in Twin Falls. Kevin's last words were, "Shame...Shame...cousin...." In both cases neighbors said that a male with long greasy dark hair, reeking of beer, tobacco, and general stink, had been visiting and was now nowhere to be seen. In Charley's case, the sheep on his ranch ran away from people where in the past they had been quite friendly. And the neighbors also said that they suspected that the suspect was Canadian because he ended every sentence with "eh?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 05 Apr 19 - 08:42 PM

Up here there are Platinum alerts to look out for catalytic converter thieves.

In the spirit of BS - I was wondering if anyone here has or is a caretaker for any obscure ancient artifacts. Our family are guardians for an ancient Greek artifact. It is the dredlocks of Medusa wrapped around bone and sealed in semi translucent glass. Yeah I know the legend said she had snakes on her head but c'est la vie. It has switched family guardianship twice that we know of since it arrived in this country and is passed down to the eldest son. The nicest thing about it is the inlay of greek soldiers on the sides of the rectangular glass like box. The 'braids' are thick and scaggy.
I also have an ancient medallion that features Annubis with the (sphinx)? in the background but it is worn almost smooth.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Apr 19 - 02:17 PM

Hi Mom!

In Florida, when there's a "Silver Alert" (missing elderly person with dementia), a description of the vehicle the missing person is likely to be driving, including its license plate number, is posted to all the electronic highway advisory signs throughout the state.

I have memorized the tag numbers for both our vehicles so that, when I see a Silver Alert, I won't have to stop the car and check the tag to make sure it isn't me who's missing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 05 Apr 19 - 11:25 AM

MOM likes a hot bath in cold weather. Showers are for when the water out of the hose is warm and she can get naked in the back yard after dark and shower on the patio. She hasn't put the showerhead up on there yet this year, that'll probably happen in June.


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