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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 05 Apr 19 - 09:18 PM
Rapparee 05 Apr 19 - 08:46 PM
Donuel 05 Apr 19 - 08:42 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Apr 19 - 02:17 PM
Stilly River Sage 05 Apr 19 - 11:25 AM
gnu 05 Apr 19 - 07:06 AM
Donuel 05 Apr 19 - 06:01 AM
Stilly River Sage 05 Apr 19 - 12:19 AM
Little Hawk 04 Apr 19 - 09:56 PM
Donuel 04 Apr 19 - 03:46 PM
keberoxu 04 Apr 19 - 01:47 PM
keberoxu 04 Apr 19 - 09:50 AM
keberoxu 03 Apr 19 - 01:56 PM
Donuel 02 Apr 19 - 07:03 AM
Donuel 02 Apr 19 - 06:49 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Apr 19 - 03:46 AM
Rapparee 01 Apr 19 - 11:40 PM
Donuel 01 Apr 19 - 06:00 PM
Donuel 01 Apr 19 - 06:11 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 31 Mar 19 - 08:38 PM
keberoxu 31 Mar 19 - 07:51 PM
Donuel 31 Mar 19 - 05:29 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 31 Mar 19 - 01:17 PM
Stilly River Sage 31 Mar 19 - 12:28 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 30 Mar 19 - 11:26 PM
Rapparee 30 Mar 19 - 10:59 PM
keberoxu 30 Mar 19 - 09:26 PM
Donuel 30 Mar 19 - 05:44 PM
Rapparee 29 Mar 19 - 09:31 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 29 Mar 19 - 07:37 PM
Rapparee 28 Mar 19 - 08:23 PM
Donuel 28 Mar 19 - 06:50 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 27 Mar 19 - 11:37 PM
Rapparee 27 Mar 19 - 10:50 PM
Donuel 27 Mar 19 - 12:33 PM
Donuel 27 Mar 19 - 12:04 PM
Stilly River Sage 27 Mar 19 - 11:51 AM
Rapparee 27 Mar 19 - 11:14 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 27 Mar 19 - 10:46 AM
Donuel 27 Mar 19 - 09:51 AM
Stilly River Sage 26 Mar 19 - 10:09 PM
Donuel 26 Mar 19 - 09:51 PM
Rapparee 26 Mar 19 - 09:43 PM
Donuel 26 Mar 19 - 09:25 PM
Rapparee 26 Mar 19 - 08:35 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 26 Mar 19 - 05:17 PM
Donuel 26 Mar 19 - 04:45 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 26 Mar 19 - 10:49 AM
Donuel 25 Mar 19 - 10:01 PM
Rapparee 25 Mar 19 - 08:26 PM

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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Apr 19 - 09:18 PM

I am deeply saddened to hear that Shane has lost two of his Idaho relatives. There will be mourning among the McBride diaspora all over the world tonight. And drinking.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Apr 19 - 08:46 PM

After a spell, I have returned! Lafayette, je suis ici! The Guard dies but never surrenders! They shall not pass! Jai Mahakali, Ayo Gorkhali! Excelsior! Onward! You sons of bitches want to live forever? Follow me! Har Har Mahadev! Montjoie Saint Denis! Deus vult!   Ktož jsú boží bojovníci! Bole So Nihal...Sat Sri Akal! Hakkaa päälle! Dieu et Mon Droit! Til Valhall! Remember Goliad! Remember the Alamo! Remember the Maine! Remember...ah, there's too much to remember.

Anyway, Mom, I'm back.

And you know what, Mom? Not one, but TWO McBrides were murdered around here in the last couple of weeks! Charley up in Salmon and Kevin in Twin Falls. Kevin's last words were, "Shame...Shame...cousin...." In both cases neighbors said that a male with long greasy dark hair, reeking of beer, tobacco, and general stink, had been visiting and was now nowhere to be seen. In Charley's case, the sheep on his ranch ran away from people where in the past they had been quite friendly. And the neighbors also said that they suspected that the suspect was Canadian because he ended every sentence with "eh?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 05 Apr 19 - 08:42 PM

Up here there are Platinum alerts to look out for catalytic converter thieves.

In the spirit of BS - I was wondering if anyone here has or is a caretaker for any obscure ancient artifacts. Our family are guardians for an ancient Greek artifact. It is the dredlocks of Medusa wrapped around bone and sealed in semi translucent glass. Yeah I know the legend said she had snakes on her head but c'est la vie. It has switched family guardianship twice that we know of since it arrived in this country and is passed down to the eldest son. The nicest thing about it is the inlay of greek soldiers on the sides of the rectangular glass like box. The 'braids' are thick and scaggy.
I also have an ancient medallion that features Annubis with the (sphinx)? in the background but it is worn almost smooth.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Apr 19 - 02:17 PM

Hi Mom!

In Florida, when there's a "Silver Alert" (missing elderly person with dementia), a description of the vehicle the missing person is likely to be driving, including its license plate number, is posted to all the electronic highway advisory signs throughout the state.

I have memorized the tag numbers for both our vehicles so that, when I see a Silver Alert, I won't have to stop the car and check the tag to make sure it isn't me who's missing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 05 Apr 19 - 11:25 AM

MOM likes a hot bath in cold weather. Showers are for when the water out of the hose is warm and she can get naked in the back yard after dark and shower on the patio. She hasn't put the showerhead up on there yet this year, that'll probably happen in June.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Apr 19 - 07:06 AM

Brrrrr! -6 isn't the problem. It's the wind. Had to crank the heat up 'cause I gotta get naked and take a shower. No peeking!... it could cause physiological damage.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 05 Apr 19 - 06:01 AM

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahhahahahahahharumphf


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 05 Apr 19 - 12:19 AM

And Don thought we were running short on BS. . . good one, Little Hawk!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Apr 19 - 09:56 PM

To scream the impossible scream
To sing the unsingable song
To write the unreadable letter
To err without doing it wrong
To fly where no buzzard has flown
To dance with the grace of a moose
To boldly and recklessly tighten
A screw that has never been loose!
This is my QUEST!!!
To follow that trail
No matter how pointless
Nor what madness entails
I will fearlessly fight!
For the right to be...wrong
I will recklessly dream
The impossible scheme
And unflinchingly SCREAM..........
The UNSINGABLE SONG!!!!!!!!!!!

And the world...will be better for this! (?)
That one man had the gall to go on
And reach beyond reachable madness
And SING..............The UNSINGABLE SONG!

"Thank you!" "Thank you!" (bowing and blowing kisses)

Tony Clifton shoulda sung that one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 04 Apr 19 - 03:46 PM

Dear tweety bird, Mom has aged gracefully since the death of Richard, Spaw and Amos but there comes a day when there is insufficient mass for criticality and too little oxygen to breathe. Pulling the plug when there are no villains and heroes left, could be the humane thing to do.

Outrage has been replaced with a space where posts drift without censorship due to indifference. What kind of life is that?
There comes a time when vitality fades and all that is left is the stench of Morosity and Mundacity

Personally I like the smell of M&M's


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 04 Apr 19 - 01:47 PM

come on, MOM, don't let the others drag you down.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 04 Apr 19 - 09:50 AM

Forward AND upward.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 03 Apr 19 - 01:56 PM

Marschall Vorwärts!   Marschall Vorwärts!

(Rückert)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 02 Apr 19 - 07:03 AM

For many their last ounce of courage is really oxy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 02 Apr 19 - 06:49 AM

To reach the unreachable beach
To drive the undrivable road
To eat with undigestible sorrow
To stay where the brave dare not go
To fight the unfightable wrong
To sleep with bugs from afar
To climb stairs when your arms are too weary

To reach the unreachable bar
This is my quest
To follow that bar
No matter how hopeless
No matter how far
To fight for the right
Without question or pause
To be willing to march into Hell
For a slovenly cause
And I know if I’ll only be true
To this glorious quest
That my heart will lie peaceful and calm
When I’m laid to my rest
And the trip will be better for this
That one man, scorned and covered with scars
Still strove with his last ounce of courage

To reach the unreachable bar


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Apr 19 - 03:46 AM

I've been to Unbreachable Beach! It's called Unbreachable because the traffic is so thick during peak partying hours that it's impossible to get there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Apr 19 - 11:40 PM

What was said was more or less:

???a? ep?s?? d??at? ?a pe????afe? ? e?????? ?a? ? s??d?µ??????a t?? ?p??es?? t?? pragmatopoiesis µe t? p???µ??f??? ???µ?? ?a? t? µetastat??? µetastat??? ep?????? t?? ep?????a??? ep??????? ep???????. ??t? t? eµp?d?? st? ep?????? t?? exaitías ? µ?s? µ??a??? metavolis t?? a?t?-radiculosity p?? ???s?µ?p?????ta? ?a? ? µetaf?s? ?a? ? µa???f?s??? ?atast??f? µe t?? ?pe?asßest??se??. ?? ???µ?? ???s?µ?p??e?ta? ??a t? ?e?ape?a t?? af???? ?a? ep?s?? ??a t? ?e?ape?a t?? ?????a? ?pat?t?da? ?a? t?? a?t?-as?µat????.

? pe??µet??? e??a? pe??p???? ?a? ep??e??eta? ap? t? µ?s?-??aµpt? netron. G?a t? s??p? a?t? ???s?µ?p??e?ta? a????p??e??? e?a???ad?, ded?µ???? ?t? de? ???s?µ?p??e?ta? st?? ?atas?e?? a?t?? t?? p?????t?? (????d??) ??a t?? pa?a???? 10% ?at? ß???? µa??a????. ?? a?e??de? ?a? ?? e?a?????? sp???? s?st?????ta? µe µ?s????, ????? = 0.99, ?e????? p?? a?t?p??s?pe?e? µe??s? t?? ep????t?s?? a?t?? t?? ??s?? ?at? pe??ss?te?? ap? 100 ????d?a. ?? af??d?s?a??? ?a? ?? pa?aµ???? t?? ?e????a µp????? ep?s?? ?a ???s?µ?p??????? ??a t? ?e?ape?a ??????? s????eµ??? ?a? a????µ??? st??? a?t?-as?µat????? t?? ?s?µat?? ?a? t?? µ?????, ?a??? ?a? se 0,9 eos µe 2 pe??st???a e?t?µ??? a?t?? t?? pa?a???e?e?d???.

?????st? ??a ?a epicheirise e?at? ?p??. ?e??te t??? ep?fa?e?a????.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 01 Apr 19 - 06:00 PM

I don't know if Moab is crossing a desert or has reached the unbreachable beach.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 01 Apr 19 - 06:11 AM

29% believe we are exhonornationed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Mar 19 - 08:38 PM

Here at Mom's place, every day is April Fool's Day.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 31 Mar 19 - 07:51 PM

... and here comes April Fool's Day,

hopping down the bunny trail ...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 31 Mar 19 - 05:29 PM

The portable garage has a strong resemblance to premium infant shelters for immigrants. Witch remines me that our potted potus squeezed a peanut log out of his face anus in a tweet about his trifuckta to close the border, canceling aid to central American poor and opening the border to select 14 year old girls.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Mar 19 - 01:17 PM

In keeping with the translation theme, I could translate the instruction manual for my new portable electric generator into Swahili, but it has already been translated from Chinese to English so ineptly that it's barely comprehensible as is. If it were to be translated one more time it might become something all together different, like the operating instructions for a sewage treatment plant.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 31 Mar 19 - 12:28 AM

What Mike said:

Ópos simeiósame proigouménos, i diadikasía synkéntrosis tis yperkrísimis mázas prépei na pragmatopoiitheí se polý mikrótero chróno apó to méso diástima metaxý ton afthórmiton scháseon, óste na ypárchei évlogi pithanótita epitychías. To próvlima aftó eínai dýskolo na epitefchtheí exaitías tis polý megális metavolís tis antidrastikótitas pou apaiteítai apó ti metávasi apó mia ypokritikí katástasi se mia yperkrísimi. O chrónos pou apaiteítai gia na afxitheí i timí tou k apó 1 éos ti mégisti timí 2 í étsi onomázetai chrónos eisagogís antidrastikótitas í aplá chrónos eisagogís.

Peraitéro peripléketai apó to próvlima tou ypokritikoú pollaplasiasmoú netroníon. An mia ypokritikí máza échei timí k, tóte éna netrónio pou ypárchei sti máza tha dimiourgísei (katá méso óro) mia alysidotí antídrasi pou tha pethánei se 10 geniés katá méso óro. Eán i máza eínai polý kontá stin krísimi, poúme k = 0.99, tóte káthe afthórmito netrónio schásis tha dimiourgísei mia alysída pou diarkeí 100 geneés. Aftí i paramoní ton netroníon se ypokritikés mázes meiónei peraitéro to chronikó paráthyro gia ti synarmológisi kai apaiteí tin áfxisi tis antidrastikótitas tis mázas apó mia timí mikróteri apó 0,9 éos mia timí 2 perípou entós aftoú tou parathýrou.

Min to epicheirísete sto spíti. Afíste to stous epangelmatíes.

It's Greek to me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Mar 19 - 11:26 PM

Cheap cure for moon roof ailments: CLICK

Only $150 or so at Harbor Freight.

Works great as long as you don't actually drive the car.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Mar 19 - 10:59 PM

They only explode and shower you with glass when you are least expecting it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 30 Mar 19 - 09:26 PM

You had to mention moonroofs.
I hate moonroofs.
Why does my favorite make of car
at the dealer these days
ALWAYS have moonroofs?!
My car is getting old,
will I have to replace it
with a car that has a @#$%&* hole in the roof?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 30 Mar 19 - 05:44 PM

Knowing more than Julian and Ethel no longer carries the death penalty but do not doubt for a moment that there are agencies that monitor your communication. If your protection software says that someone has tried to break in to your computer it is more likely to be governmental than dark web crime.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Mar 19 - 09:31 PM

Uranium was used as a yellow glaze for many years. You probably have twenty or thirty kilograms just sitting around doing nothing but slowly poisoning you. Why not put it to good use and celebrate the Glorious Fourth with a REAL bang?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 29 Mar 19 - 07:37 PM

Thanks for that info, Rap, but I don't really need to know how to trigger an atomic bomb. It's not part of the conventional skill set of a potter/guitarist. And, anyway, I don't even own an atomic bomb.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Mar 19 - 08:23 PM

As I noted earlier, the process of assembling the supercritical mass must occur in significantly less time than the average interval between spontaneous fissions to have a reasonable chance of succeeding. This problem is difficult to accomplish due to the very large change in reactivity required in going from a subcritical state to a supercritical one. The time required to raise the value of k from 1 to the maximum value of 2 or so is called the reactivity insertion time, or simply insertion time.

It is further complicated by the problem of subcritical neutron multiplication. If a subcritical mass has a k value of 0.9, then a neutron present in the mass will (on average) create a chain reaction that dies out in an average of 10 generations. If the mass is very close to critical, say k=0.99, then each spontaneous fission neutron will create a chain that lasts 100 generations. This persistence of neutrons in subcritical masses further reduces the time window for assembly, and requires that the reactivity of the mass be increased from a value of less than 0.9 to a value of 2 or so within that window.

Do not try this at home. Leave it to the professionals.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 28 Mar 19 - 06:50 AM

I wouldn't know what kind. I only learned of the plant after it caught fire and the firemen got poisoned.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Mar 19 - 11:37 PM

It doesn't matter how much someone pounds on an atom bomb with a sledge hammer, it'll never be tenderized enough to fry up country style. The only way to cook an atom bomb is in a slow cooker. And, even then, it takes three or four weeks to get it really tender. Personally, I'd rather eat rocks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Mar 19 - 10:50 PM

Do they make gun-type or "squeeze" type triggers? Inquiring minds want to know because one of my cousins used to pound on an atom bomb (fission weapon) with a sledge hammer at the arsenal in Rock Island, IL -- in the midst of about 500,000 people.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 27 Mar 19 - 12:33 PM

The EPA of today is
looking for such sites
to add more barrels
to that creek
would be to their delight


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 27 Mar 19 - 12:04 PM

It is a curiosity that the company that makes Plutonium trigger devices for thermo nuclear weapons in Rochester NY also makes vacuum cleaners.
Perhaps it is a good thing?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 27 Mar 19 - 11:51 AM

The highest rank of the entire Consumer Reports article was 86, so I'm quite pleased with my less-than-half-the-cost-of-#86 model. There's a guy across the creek who is within the letter of the law with the unattractive nuisance of car hulks, barrels, things under tarps, that he can't have in his yard over in Fort Worth, so he bought land in Edgecliff and put in concrete pads - as long as the vehicles aren't parked on turf, he's legal. And it looks awful.

I think the EPA needs to know that there are barrels stored perilously near a year-round waterway.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Mar 19 - 11:14 AM

Well, THAT explains the neighbor's lawn. I didn't know, though, that vacuum cleaners looked like cars, water heaters, sofas, old lumber, broken pipes, old radiators, and, well, unidentifiable things.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Mar 19 - 10:46 AM

Actually, Don, a ranking of 22 is pretty good for a vacuum cleaner. They're so universally crappy that the ranking system starts at 20. There are none that are worthy of rankings between 1 and 19.

And the feature that garnered the top-ranked model (#20) its place has nothing to do with ease of use or reliability. Its body is designed in such a way that, when it completely dies after 18 months of being a total pain in the ass to use, it can easily be converted into an attractive lawn ornament.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 27 Mar 19 - 09:51 AM

When it comes to buying vacuum cleaners I have no luck/intuition whatsoever.
Our best one ranks 22.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 26 Mar 19 - 10:09 PM

My new lawnmower got 77 out of 100 in Consumer Reports. But it wouldn't handle a car wash well.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 26 Mar 19 - 09:51 PM

This was a convertible and the top was up


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Mar 19 - 09:43 PM

Most cars do if you leave the top down or the moonroof open.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 26 Mar 19 - 09:25 PM

They also leak in the car wash. ugh


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Mar 19 - 08:35 PM

Consumer Reports lists the Maserati Ghibli as 41/100 overall, and 2/5 in both reliability and owner satisfaction. Here's what they say:

Although it is based on a platform shared with the Chrysler 300, the Ghibli has its own sporty character. The Ferrari-developed V6 turbo engine is mated to a quick-shifting eight-speed automatic transmission. Handling is agile, the brakes are strong, and the engine emits a thrilling bark. But the stiff ride can grow fatiguing, the rear seat is cramped, and the Ghibli is louder than most sporty luxury sedans. Climbing into or out of this low-slung sports sedan can be a challenge. The interior is outfitted with high-quality leather and suede, and most controls are easy to use, except for the unintuitive gear selector. Chrysler's Uconnect touch screen is a plus, but it's hard not to notice some cheap-looking switches that are sourced from the Chrysler parts bins. The top-line V6 recently gained 20 hp.

That's from the latest automobile issue.

You wouldn't be happy with it, and if you want to blow an extra 75 thousand bucks you can send it to me and I'll see that it's put to good use.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Mar 19 - 05:17 PM

Okay, I only used Maserati because it sorta rhymes with ukulele.

And, yes, I have heard that being rich enough to purchase a Maserati is one thing, but being rich enough to pay for the maintenance and repairs that go along with owning it is a another thing all together.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 26 Mar 19 - 04:45 PM

You won't like a Maserati. They really suck
A Lambo or a newer DB40 is nice but a new 8 cyl truck with crew cab can drive over them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Mar 19 - 10:49 AM

Hi, Mom!

I bought a ukulele yesterday!

I would have preferred a Maserati, but they didn't have one for $150.00.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 25 Mar 19 - 10:01 PM

Stove vents are even trickier by having a dangerous grease trap


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Mar 19 - 08:26 PM

Now that the deck has been redone the vent is about 8 feet off the ground. It goes through the wall of the house (brick on the outside) in a badly made hole that's about two inches too large in diameter. So in the winter cold air infiltrates both through the wall and in through the dryer. I could get the ladder out and do it myself, packing the extra space with fiberglass insulation, but there's been so many crapjobs done here in the past that we decided that anything beyond the simplest job (or one with great potential for mushrooming into Something Awful) should be done by a pro. For this, the house thanks us profusely.


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