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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Stilly River Sage 19 Jun 19 - 12:16 PM
keberoxu 19 Jun 19 - 12:16 PM
Rapparee 17 Jun 19 - 02:37 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 17 Jun 19 - 04:50 AM
Rapparee 16 Jun 19 - 08:37 PM
keberoxu 16 Jun 19 - 01:16 PM
Stilly River Sage 15 Jun 19 - 02:28 PM
Rapparee 15 Jun 19 - 12:54 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 Jun 19 - 06:24 AM
Stilly River Sage 15 Jun 19 - 12:06 AM
JennieG 14 Jun 19 - 10:45 PM
Rapparee 14 Jun 19 - 09:14 PM
keberoxu 14 Jun 19 - 03:55 PM
Stilly River Sage 14 Jun 19 - 03:39 PM
keberoxu 14 Jun 19 - 01:16 PM
Rapparee 13 Jun 19 - 09:48 PM
keberoxu 13 Jun 19 - 05:41 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 Jun 19 - 03:27 PM
Rapparee 12 Jun 19 - 03:24 PM
Rapparee 12 Jun 19 - 03:23 PM
Rapparee 12 Jun 19 - 03:22 PM
Rapparee 12 Jun 19 - 03:22 PM
Rapparee 12 Jun 19 - 03:21 PM
Rapparee 11 Jun 19 - 10:02 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Jun 19 - 07:12 PM
Stilly River Sage 11 Jun 19 - 11:24 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Jun 19 - 06:34 AM
Rapparee 10 Jun 19 - 09:01 PM
Stilly River Sage 10 Jun 19 - 12:00 PM
Rapparee 10 Jun 19 - 11:21 AM
Rapparee 09 Jun 19 - 09:40 PM
Rapparee 08 Jun 19 - 09:48 PM
Stilly River Sage 08 Jun 19 - 02:46 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Jun 19 - 02:33 PM
Stilly River Sage 08 Jun 19 - 01:21 PM
keberoxu 08 Jun 19 - 12:36 PM
Stilly River Sage 07 Jun 19 - 10:55 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 07 Jun 19 - 08:14 PM
keberoxu 05 Jun 19 - 12:43 PM
Stilly River Sage 03 Jun 19 - 10:29 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Jun 19 - 09:33 PM
Stilly River Sage 03 Jun 19 - 07:59 PM
keberoxu 03 Jun 19 - 03:21 PM
Rapparee 02 Jun 19 - 09:59 AM
Rapparee 31 May 19 - 09:22 PM
Stilly River Sage 31 May 19 - 10:17 AM
Rapparee 31 May 19 - 08:33 AM
keberoxu 30 May 19 - 01:32 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 30 May 19 - 11:56 AM
Rapparee 29 May 19 - 07:12 PM

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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 19 Jun 19 - 12:16 PM

WHOA! If Max hadn't had the Mudcat homepage set on three days off posts MOM would have dropped off the page yesterday.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 19 Jun 19 - 12:16 PM

Come on, MOM,
while Rapparee goes fly fishing,
let's climb back up to the top of the BS section.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jun 19 - 02:37 PM

BAH! Out here we FLY FISH using flies made from surplus Navy anchors (last used on battleships) and tied with fossilized hair from wooly mammoths, 12 inch hawsers, and shiny bits of airplanes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Jun 19 - 04:50 AM

I ain't afraid of no big-ass worms. I got me some big-ass fish hooks. Big-ass worms is afraid of me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 19 - 08:37 PM

And the Polouse Worm? It's out there, waiting....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 16 Jun 19 - 01:16 PM

Let's get to the top of the queue, MOM,
and don't let the bunyips drag you down.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 15 Jun 19 - 02:28 PM

I used to see those mounds at the top of crayfish burrows in areas along the Ouachita River where I worked in Louisiana.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 19 - 12:54 PM

How about the US Navy's submarine training facility in Idaho?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Jun 19 - 06:24 AM

Then there's the subterranean crayfish, which is a total failure as a hoax since it actually does exist. Most people think crayfish only live in bodies of water, but they can live in burrows dug on dry land as long as the water table is shallow enough. I have them on my property, 500 yards from the nearest creek. CLICK


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 15 Jun 19 - 12:06 AM

Oh, well, that's Hood Canal mythology. Who knows what's real over there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennieG
Date: 14 Jun 19 - 10:45 PM

Every Ozzie knows that Bunyips do exist.

We have been to the Grampians and were probably lucky to escape.....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jun 19 - 09:14 PM

Then there's the Pacific Northwest Tree Octopus. The website details why it's in trouble.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 14 Jun 19 - 03:55 PM

... but what about bunyips?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 14 Jun 19 - 03:39 PM

I could go look but that would take a helluva long time, so I won't. We can safely assume that at some point Catspaw49 dropped in here.

And these days Boojums are of no danger to your guitar, unless you trip in the Sonoran Desert and bang your guitar into one as you fall.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 14 Jun 19 - 01:16 PM

And whether or not Spaw showed up at MOAB,

surely there have been mentions, if only in passing,
of Cletus et alia.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jun 19 - 09:48 PM

And a dedication to Spaw, who may or may not have shown up here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 13 Jun 19 - 05:41 PM

... and so it fell to Bee dubya ell
to follow Rapparee's dedication to Amos.

An onerous job,
but someone had to do it,
and well done it was, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Jun 19 - 03:27 PM

Hi Mom!

I lost my Yamaha electronic guitar tuner a few weeks ago and finally got around to replacing it. The store didn't have any Yamahas in stock, so I bought a Snark brand instead. I read the owner's manual very carefully, but it doesn't say anything about how long the thing will continue being a Snark before turning into a Boojum.

Just to be on the safe side, I shall avoid keeping the tuner in the accessory compartment of my guitar case so that, when the transformation occurs, the guitar will not be eaten by the ravenous Boojum which erupts from the Snark's little blue plastic body.

Perhaps I'll buy a cheap accordion and keep the tuner in its case. Boojums have my permission to eat all the accordions they want.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jun 19 - 03:24 PM

AMOS JESSUP!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jun 19 - 03:23 PM

to our late sibling


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jun 19 - 03:22 PM

Mom's number 59,000


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jun 19 - 03:22 PM

dedicate in perpetuity


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jun 19 - 03:21 PM

I herewith


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jun 19 - 10:02 PM

We hunt 'em here. Ain't nothin' like a bunch of road gator hunters out on a frosty autumn mornin' a-blastin' away at new hatched road gators with their thurty-thurtys! Ol' Clem got one last Fall that purt near rared up an et a Caddylack Eskalad. Good thing Clem got his shot in! Thing plumb wrecked its birthin' truck, tho. Spilled five thousand gallons of hidroflurik asid all over I-15. Etched windders fer miles around.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Jun 19 - 07:12 PM

Road gators are at their most dangerous when newly hatched from their nests under semi trailers. Brand new hatchlings have been known to attempt flight. They usually fall to the pavement when they realize they don't have wings, but one will occasionally remain aloft long enough to violently flatten itself upon the windshield of a tailgating Toyota.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 11 Jun 19 - 11:24 AM

A friend called this morning to tell me how a road gator slapped her car upside the grill and nearly took out her license plate and rim. It clobbered the plastic baffle thing underneath in front and she had to stop and "tuck it in" to the front bumper so it wouldn't drag, and it had to be replaced. I *think* that's what that thing is for. $200 at Firestone and she was back on the road.

Road gators: found throughout the Continental US, though rumored to originate in southern and eastern states.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Jun 19 - 06:34 AM

The bear mat found its way into a wormhole which transmitted it to Kingston upon Hull in the UK, where it is now in the collection of one "John from Hull".


"All your bear mats are belong to John."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 19 - 09:01 PM

I also brought home some gin from the Moab Distillery. And a Moab Brewery cap. I had a bear mat from the brewery but it disappeared.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 10 Jun 19 - 12:00 PM

Well played, Rapparee!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 19 - 11:21 AM

I have, however, sent a package to Bee Dubya which contains ancient human bones, several pots containing sacred corn pollen, two original Hopi dancer masks, and three live rattlesnakes. The box was packed with the appropriate ceremonies so that he'd be blamed for the appropriation. Enjoy your present!

HINT: If you see a couple of large Mudheads or Koshari stomping around looking for you, fling yourself, groveling, on their mercy. They might be clowns, but they are also disciplinarians.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jun 19 - 09:40 PM

Okay, I'm home. I brought home with me two very small (about one inch high) Navajo kachinas with removable masks and a small mountain lion fetish. Both of these were for Pat. I have several books and a nice quartz crystal.

I also have, on some of my clothes, thousand year old cooking fire soot from sherds of gray corrugated ware (which if whole would have looked something like this). I will wash my clothes tomorrow and return the soot to nature.

I handled pottery sherds (Mesa Verde Black and White, redware, early and late white unpainted, and others), stone flakes, poundstones, cores, manos, polishing stones, bird bones (probably turkey), and some human bones. I didn't bring any home with me because if you do Haashch'éé Oolt'ohí will persecute you until you return them, just as Pele does to those who remove "souvenirs" from Haleakala. I got enough trouble taking care of Mom without a Wendigo pursuing me!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jun 19 - 09:48 PM

I shall be home tomorrow and will apprise everyone of what I did or did not abscond with.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 08 Jun 19 - 02:46 PM

Well yeah, there's that too. And NAGPRA if any of it comes out of graves.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Jun 19 - 02:33 PM

It's not just Anasazi hexes Rap would need to worry about. Those who violate The Antiquities Act of 1906, which affords legal protection to Native American artifacts, are subject to having their places of residence haunted by the ghost of Teddy Roosevelt, who signed the Act into law when he was US president. Waking up in the middle of the night to see old TR standing at the foot of your bed holding an elephant gun is a rather disconcerting experience.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 08 Jun 19 - 01:21 PM

I hope Rap knows that if any Anasazi artifacts accidentally make it into his carry-on luggage that he and his trip and the house will be hexed until it returns to it's place of origin. I saw that in movies several times, so it must be true.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 08 Jun 19 - 12:36 PM

Easy does it, MOM.
I suspect Rapparee is still busy with
the artifacts from the Anasazi civilization.

He'll let you know when he comes home.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 Jun 19 - 10:55 PM

I wondered why she was so quiet out on the screened in porch. Asleep after that taste testing.

MOM, I have been doing through the agonizing steps of putting things back into the new computer that I want to use from the old one. Some stuff I can copy and paste, other things need to be reinstalled. And unfortunately, it must be done sans alcohol or you can really muck up the results. I'll tuck MOM in later.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 Jun 19 - 08:14 PM

The reason Mom hasn't been very active of late is that she heard some bozo is going to impose tariffs on tequila and she's been stocking up before prices go up. Of course, stocking up involves quite a bit of taste testing. Wouldn't want to waste valuable storage space on inferior booze and there's only one foolproof way to tell the good stuff from the swill.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 05 Jun 19 - 12:43 PM

MOM, I heard crickets last evening at suppertime. For the first time
since it got warm.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 03 Jun 19 - 10:29 PM

Oh, gawd. . . the cables. It's already spaghetti back there, and now there will be two desktops (at least for a while.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Jun 19 - 09:33 PM

Mom will be more than happy to help with the new desktop, Maggie. Not the lifting and wiring and such, just the swearing and cussing. Those are two of her favorite activities.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 03 Jun 19 - 07:59 PM

My desktop checked out last weekend and the little laptop is doing a yeoman's job during this break until the new Dell arrives. Heavy lifting then, moving files. Ugggg. MOM will probably turn up the TV louder so she doesn't have to listen to me cursing at the equipment.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 03 Jun 19 - 03:21 PM

It isn't that I don't care, MOM,
it's just that a computer is not in my living space
and there are only certain hours every day
when I have access to one ...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jun 19 - 09:59 AM

Poor Mom! Nobody except me cares. But I care! Here, have your favorite summer sippin' drink of a half-and-half whiskey sour with a cold gin chaser while I make you a mint julep.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 May 19 - 09:22 PM

Sorry, didn't mean to leave all in bold. Phones aren't meant for HTML.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 31 May 19 - 10:17 AM

She will be thrilled to learn about that when she gets back to the house. She took the kitchen table shaker out into the garden to a-salt the slugs. She's out there cackling like Margaret Hamilton in the Wizard of Oz right now.

"Take that, my pretty!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 May 19 - 08:33 AM

Mom, I bought a small bottle of your gin and I also have a bear mat from your ally works! And a cap proudly proclaiming “Moab Brewrey


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 30 May 19 - 01:32 PM

Apropos of BWL's "get the fuck out' :

the one I use all the time is
"calm the fuck down." (I get distracted easily.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 May 19 - 11:56 AM

Mom!

When I went to have breakfast this morning, I pulled a bagel from a package marked "Everything". Imagine my surprise when it didn't have sausage, egg, and cheese on it! I had to prepare those items and add them to a bagel that was supposed to already have "everything"! That's about as blatant a case of false advertising as I've ever encountered!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 May 19 - 07:12 PM

Mom! I’m in YOUR town in Utah having dinner in YOUR brewery and guess what! They’ve added a distillery and you didn’t even tell us! What a nice surprise! And your beer is as excellent as it has always been!


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