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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Stilly River Sage 28 May 19 - 02:53 PM
keberoxu 27 May 19 - 02:14 PM
Stilly River Sage 27 May 19 - 11:43 AM
Rapparee 26 May 19 - 06:38 PM
keberoxu 26 May 19 - 04:29 PM
keberoxu 25 May 19 - 10:53 AM
Stilly River Sage 24 May 19 - 09:45 PM
Donuel 24 May 19 - 05:13 PM
keberoxu 24 May 19 - 01:10 PM
Donuel 23 May 19 - 02:59 PM
Stilly River Sage 23 May 19 - 01:57 PM
Donuel 23 May 19 - 06:16 AM
Stilly River Sage 22 May 19 - 07:52 PM
keberoxu 22 May 19 - 05:09 PM
Donuel 21 May 19 - 08:57 AM
Donuel 21 May 19 - 07:26 AM
Stilly River Sage 21 May 19 - 12:13 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 May 19 - 09:03 PM
Stilly River Sage 19 May 19 - 11:35 AM
Donuel 17 May 19 - 10:22 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 17 May 19 - 08:26 PM
Rapparee 17 May 19 - 10:50 AM
Rapparee 16 May 19 - 11:16 PM
Rapparee 15 May 19 - 09:14 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 May 19 - 08:27 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 May 19 - 08:06 AM
Stilly River Sage 14 May 19 - 09:32 PM
Rapparee 14 May 19 - 09:03 PM
Donuel 14 May 19 - 06:09 AM
Rapparee 13 May 19 - 09:52 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 May 19 - 08:55 PM
Donuel 13 May 19 - 08:24 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 May 19 - 06:04 PM
Donuel 12 May 19 - 07:57 AM
Stilly River Sage 11 May 19 - 11:58 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 May 19 - 11:48 PM
Rapparee 11 May 19 - 10:14 PM
Stilly River Sage 11 May 19 - 10:05 PM
Donuel 11 May 19 - 10:51 AM
Donuel 11 May 19 - 09:45 AM
Donuel 11 May 19 - 07:11 AM
Rapparee 10 May 19 - 10:12 PM
Stilly River Sage 10 May 19 - 12:28 PM
Donuel 10 May 19 - 10:22 AM
Donuel 10 May 19 - 09:53 AM
Donuel 10 May 19 - 09:13 AM
Donuel 10 May 19 - 06:34 AM
Rapparee 09 May 19 - 11:05 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 May 19 - 08:30 PM
Little Hawk 09 May 19 - 06:35 PM

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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 28 May 19 - 02:53 PM

Just about everything belongs on MOAB. That Rap for Emperor thread is a little MOAB annex, I'm guessing. I don't think I've actually read it. There are only so many hours in the day . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 27 May 19 - 02:14 PM

Maybe that announcement
belongs on the
Rap for Emperor thread?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 27 May 19 - 11:43 AM

There is too much news coming out of that part of the woods, Rap. We were all hoping to read of Farage's being forced to walk the plank, but instead, he's recruiting a xenophobic crowd to make Europe an unhappy place. Just as well you got out of there!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 May 19 - 06:38 PM

What happened to my announcement to I’ve escaped from the British???


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 26 May 19 - 04:29 PM

the natives are quiet this weekend


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 25 May 19 - 10:53 AM

Some local parades on Monday of this long weekend.
Would not surprise me if there were a Saturday parade or two.
Those can tie up the roads in and out of any given town.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 24 May 19 - 09:45 PM

Yes - barbecue season is in full swing for MOM. She pulled some butcher-paper-wrapped carcasses out of the freezer this evening to let them thaw by Sunday.

It's going to take a while to clean out the grill, there may have been mice nesting in it over the winter.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 24 May 19 - 05:13 PM

Ah, Memorial day weekend has arrived. It is known for opening beaches, pools, appliance sales, sunburns and roadwork to coincide with a million drivers taking to the roads. The favorite Memorial day treat is barbecued unknown shoulder and beer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 24 May 19 - 01:10 PM

Is MOM going to watch the Decoration Day parade,
or is she riding one of the parade floats?
-- ... floating on the float?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 23 May 19 - 02:59 PM

That reminds me that I once did the entire exterior of a ginger bread house in the San Francisco Painted Lady style. Purples lavenders pink with trims of orange yellow and dark blue on 13th st Buffalo.

I'm just doing white woodwork and doors today, strapping down a roof tarp for a car port and fixing a hot tub hidaway umbrella.

Mom wanted red trim on the painted lady but I refused.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 23 May 19 - 01:57 PM

MOM loves to paint, but it's usually slogans on walls, not the House Beautiful sort of painting.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 23 May 19 - 06:16 AM

I have exhausted my motivation and stamina to do any yard work for the last week. But progress is accumulative in both detail painting and outdoor makover projects, in the fullness of time and with all deliberate glacial speed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 22 May 19 - 07:52 PM

Tackling the yard today, while MOM's sitting on the shady porch sipping something that has her very relaxed and nodding off. It's that time of year.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 22 May 19 - 05:09 PM

Upstairs, MOM,
before you miss the sunset.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 21 May 19 - 08:57 AM

every stain

Fixed, but not removed, because the count is everything!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 21 May 19 - 07:26 AM

There is no such thing as away
There is only farther out
always a trace remains
of every bout,
every stain


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 21 May 19 - 12:13 AM

Not to be confused with a flying fuck.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 May 19 - 09:03 PM

Mom!

When someone tells you to "Get the fuck out!" what laundry product should you use? Would the one you use to get raspberry jam out work? What if you used the wrong thing and it didn't get all the fuck out, but only part of it? Do you think people would notice? Would they say, "Yuck! You still have some fuck on your jeans! Go back home and rewash them and, this time, get the fuck out!

Maybe it would be best to use a pressure washer instead of a washing machine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 19 May 19 - 11:35 AM

The creek bank behind my house is covered with exposed roots from the trees above, and those are covered with snagged plastic grocery bags. I need a kayak to paddle around the edge of the pond back there and collect it all. Right now I walk down there and pick up fossils.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 17 May 19 - 10:22 PM

A billionaire 'entrepmanure' took a new type of vessel deeper into the abyss of the 'Marianus Trench' than anyone before and made a discovery.

He discovered a plastic grocery bag.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 May 19 - 08:26 PM

Hi, Mom!

It's time to take a multiple-choice test!

QUESTION: When driving east from Alabama into Florida on Interstate 10, there is a Florida landmark that is so big it is visible for a couple of miles before you actually get to the state line.

Is it:

A) The launch pad at Cape Canaveral

B) Cinderella's Castle at Disney World

C) The Perdido Landfill where Pensacola dumps its garbage


Yes folks, the correct answer is "C". The first glimpse of Florida seen by visitors driving in from places like Texas and California is a man-made mountain of garbage.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 May 19 - 10:50 AM

PS: Keep on top of it, Mom! You're the best of the best of the best ad infinitum.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 May 19 - 11:16 PM

Dear Mother,

How are you? I am fine. The weather here is okay, but tomorrow and Saturday it's supposed to rain.

I shan't post for a couple of days, until Saturday night at the earliest, I guess. I have to fly to Philadelphia on Saturday and must overnight in Salt Lake City tomorrow. If all goes well my post from Philadelphia will be from our cabin on MV Grande Caribe.

Your Favorite,
Rapparee


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 May 19 - 09:14 PM

We didn't have any sidewalks. Nor did we have street gutters, so I did not grown up as a guttersnipe. Neither was due to the Great Commie Plot, but to a lack of desire on the part of the city. Heck, we didn't have a storm drain until I was about 15 -- we just let the water flood where it would. When I found out about storm drains (we called them "sewer holes") I was devastated that we, who lived on a corner, didn't have one. One day after school my friend Bob and I spent about an hour and half investigating the one on the corner where the school was. I intended to build one for my family. Not coming home right after school caused problems when Bob's father showed up looking for him. I got a ride home and Bob got more than that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 May 19 - 08:27 AM

Also, our neighborhood had no sidewalks. Sidewalks would encourage walking which, as we all know, is detrimental to the financial well-being of automakers and oil companies, two of the pillars of Capitalism. If we were to walk to school instead of having Mom drive, the Communists would win!

(By the way, since the fall of the Soviet Union, almost all suburban developments have been built with both parks and sidewalks. They are no longer part of the Communist Conspiracy. Nowadays, they're just things children don't use because the media has convinced their parents that there's a child rapist hiding behind every bush and tree.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 May 19 - 08:06 AM

I did not grow up across from a park with a backstop. I grew up in one of those postwar suburbs built when the idea of the government compelling developers to set aside land for community recreation was part of The Great Communist Conspiracy. We played baseball in the street where getting hit by cars proved what loyal little Americans we were. The nearest parks were about five miles away, in a neighborhood built during the 1930s, before anyone knew that baseball diamonds and sliding boards were threats to the American Way of Life.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 14 May 19 - 09:32 PM

I grew up literally across the street from a tiny city park that had only one main feature: a chain-link backstop. We managed to dream up many other games, though often as not we played some version of softball.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 May 19 - 09:03 PM

BUT when the Leonines played the rules stated that a runner who had struck the ball could only be put "out" by hitting him with the thrown ball. Also, any number of players could play at a time as long as the number on each side was the same. And of course the playing field was square or rectangular. There were, naturally, no foul balls and the distances between safe havens ("bases") weren't fixed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 14 May 19 - 06:09 AM

the humble birth of baseball
Manure and road apples alike were the 1st baseballs.

Born of boredom, baseball carries its legacy until today.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 May 19 - 09:52 PM

Back in 1897, the New London (Missouri) Leonines were having their playing ground manured when the younger members of the baseball club began throwing the "chips" at each other. Stacy Kengall, one of them, was pelted with far more than his fair share. One of his most ardent supporters, a young lady known only as "Lovey Alice" took a club-like object used in the game and commenced defending Kengall by swatting the "chips" from the air. Other supporters of the team also began swatting these "chips." Everyone was having a marvelous time when fresher fertilizer began to be used, ruining the garb of many young ladies and their beaus.

Thus the expression "when the fan hits the shit" and its more well-known obverse were born.

Now you know, and you can trust this because I Am A Librarian.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 May 19 - 08:55 PM

Mom!

Why don't we ever hear stories about the fan hitting the shit? It has to happen every now and then. It can't always be the shit hitting the fan with no consequences. Sometimes the fan is going to hit back. Especially those big industrial one-unit-cools-a-whole-warehouse things. They don't take no shit from nobody.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 13 May 19 - 08:24 PM

How does yours work?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 May 19 - 06:04 PM

I was surprised to see that Shane hasn't posted to the "Who owns an air fryer?" thread. I was sure he would want to share how he went about converting an air fryer into a really killer bong.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 12 May 19 - 07:57 AM

Wow was there a Special celebrity appearence of Don Murry and Otis Young ?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 11 May 19 - 11:58 PM

No! They tried to steal the tied-up bundles of home-grown organic garlic. The best kind ever.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 May 19 - 11:48 PM

Four stages? Were there any schoolmarms in those stages? Did any bandits try to hold them up and steal the strongboxes?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 May 19 - 10:14 PM

Mom, there were four stages and I shot TWO of them clean! No misses at all! I had some rifle trouble with the first one and had a blazing FIVE misses and on the last one I missed once, or so they said because I maintained I'd shot it clean. However, I was tired and I didn't feel like arguing so I accepted. Then I put everything away (guns cleared before you can leave the "unloading" table, of course) in their cases and went home. Tomorrow I'll empty the car, clean the guns, and lock EVERYTHING up, just like always and just like you taught me, guns and ammo separate.

Since it was the annual Memorial Shoot there were a lot of people there: 23 shooters and Richard Lopez's family and all. Sassy (you remember her, she's 15 now!) was really annoyed that she didn't shoot a clean stage like she did last month! Rightfully so, as I think as some of the target setups were pretty easy and close in and so did she. She really needs a side-by-side .410 now, and I'll work on her folks about that.

As ever,
Your Favorite


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 11 May 19 - 10:05 PM

Time to harvest the garlic, MOM. Be prepared for the house to smell like an Italian restaurant for a while as the scapes dry out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 11 May 19 - 10:51 AM

8 years later the E String killer is just another cold case when Detective Dahl studies the archives of Muskrat.org. Dahl discovers an avatar of a 'feared spruce' that communicated with all but one of the victims. In fact it was Dahl who put together the ligature marks and an E string 8 years earlier. An FBI report positively linked the last victim and feared spruce was eventually executed in the 11th chapter.

B movie plots are Us, LLC Donuel 2011


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 11 May 19 - 09:45 AM

Cowboy shooting sounds healthier than the dark plans of the E string killer. A folk musician killer keeps his weapon of choice hidden in plain sight from the police by stringing his guitar with a low E string ligature. His right wing politics is the justification for his revenge until he is touched by a particular song...and its singer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 11 May 19 - 07:11 AM

Please be careful to not confuse Keith Urban types for cowboys


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 May 19 - 10:12 PM

Dear Mom,

Tomorrow, for the first time since OCTOBER!!!, I'm going to go shoot cowboys! I'll strap on my twin .45s (well, not exactly twins), pick up my Winchester (only I can't afford a Winchester, so it's really a cheap Rossi from Brazil) and my Greener (well, it's really a 20 gauge side-by-side Stoeger I bought years ago and not a 10 gauge of any sort) and saunter out to Gulleyville, and bag me a few cowboys to barbecue later.

I made a deal with a young lady's mother that if she'd bring her out I take her home. Shootin' cowboys has led to her grades improving, no more males "sexting" her, and a generally great increase in her self-confidence. Last month she shot one "stage" without missing a single target!

Sincerely,
Your Favorite


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 10 May 19 - 12:28 PM

executor.

Trump doesn't need time with an executor, he needs time with an executioner. In my not so humble opinion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 10 May 19 - 10:22 AM

The Church was ordered to not rape small children
Suicide bombers must first be a pilgrim
All these new rules are meant only for fools
Nuclear weapons are just specialized tools

Aw fuck it I really don't like what we've done with this world


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 10 May 19 - 09:53 AM

Butt Judge and Biden and Sanders and Warren
All Trump opponents aren't female and foreign
I don't know what I should fear here the most
Perhaps LA earthquakes will erase the coast...

Aw shit here comes the big Kalamazula
He just cheated at golf and yells Hallalaylouya
Dizzying chaos on TV is gross
The kids in our schools, are virtually toast

When the gun bangs
When the kids sang
When it seems all is lost
I think of disasters that are greater in cost.
And things do not seem, so bad.

Houston is flooded but thats not the problem
So is NY, Tampa and Austin.
There's proof that there is no hot climate change
Just take a good look at our sweet stock exchange

A Strategic price increase makes Babtists more fascist
Folks without papers, deported in caskets
as everything grows worse for patriot men
it was the Constitution they forgot to defend

When the gun bangs
When the kids sang
When it seems all is lost
I think of disasters that are greater in cost.
And things do not seem, so bad.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 10 May 19 - 09:13 AM

Butt Judge and Biden and Sanders and Warren
All Trump opponents aren't female and foreign
I don't know what I should fear here the most
Perhaps LA earthquakes will erase the coast...

Aw shit here comes the big Kalamazula
He just cheated at golf and yells Hallalaylouya
Dizzying chaos on TV is gross
The kids in our schools, are virtually toast

When the gun bangs
When the kids sang
When it seems all is lost
I think of disasters that are worse than this one.
And things do not seem, so bad.

Houston is flooded but thats not the problem
So is NY, Tampa and Austin.
There's proof that there is no hot climate change
Just take a look at our sweet stock exchange...


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Subject: RE: BS: favorite things
From: Donuel
Date: 10 May 19 - 06:34 AM

Butt Judge and Biden and Sanders and Warren
All of Trump's evils aren't female and foreign
I don't know what to fear here the most
Perhaps LA earthquales will erase the coast...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 May 19 - 11:05 PM

In this case it's short for "archaeopteryx".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 May 19 - 08:30 PM

I've always thought "Archie" was short for "Archibald". Of course, naming a kid Archibald is almost as inexcusable as naming him Archie, just a bit more high highfalutin.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 May 19 - 06:35 PM

Archie is a name I'd consider giving to a dog. Probably a terrier of some kind. But certainly not a human being.


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