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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 09 Jun 19 - 09:40 PM
Rapparee 08 Jun 19 - 09:48 PM
Stilly River Sage 08 Jun 19 - 02:46 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Jun 19 - 02:33 PM
Stilly River Sage 08 Jun 19 - 01:21 PM
keberoxu 08 Jun 19 - 12:36 PM
Stilly River Sage 07 Jun 19 - 10:55 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 07 Jun 19 - 08:14 PM
keberoxu 05 Jun 19 - 12:43 PM
Stilly River Sage 03 Jun 19 - 10:29 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Jun 19 - 09:33 PM
Stilly River Sage 03 Jun 19 - 07:59 PM
keberoxu 03 Jun 19 - 03:21 PM
Rapparee 02 Jun 19 - 09:59 AM
Rapparee 31 May 19 - 09:22 PM
Stilly River Sage 31 May 19 - 10:17 AM
Rapparee 31 May 19 - 08:33 AM
keberoxu 30 May 19 - 01:32 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 30 May 19 - 11:56 AM
Rapparee 29 May 19 - 07:12 PM
Rapparee 28 May 19 - 10:31 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 28 May 19 - 05:32 PM
Stilly River Sage 28 May 19 - 02:53 PM
keberoxu 27 May 19 - 02:14 PM
Stilly River Sage 27 May 19 - 11:43 AM
Rapparee 26 May 19 - 06:38 PM
keberoxu 26 May 19 - 04:29 PM
keberoxu 25 May 19 - 10:53 AM
Stilly River Sage 24 May 19 - 09:45 PM
Donuel 24 May 19 - 05:13 PM
keberoxu 24 May 19 - 01:10 PM
Donuel 23 May 19 - 02:59 PM
Stilly River Sage 23 May 19 - 01:57 PM
Donuel 23 May 19 - 06:16 AM
Stilly River Sage 22 May 19 - 07:52 PM
keberoxu 22 May 19 - 05:09 PM
Donuel 21 May 19 - 08:57 AM
Donuel 21 May 19 - 07:26 AM
Stilly River Sage 21 May 19 - 12:13 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 May 19 - 09:03 PM
Stilly River Sage 19 May 19 - 11:35 AM
Donuel 17 May 19 - 10:22 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 17 May 19 - 08:26 PM
Rapparee 17 May 19 - 10:50 AM
Rapparee 16 May 19 - 11:16 PM
Rapparee 15 May 19 - 09:14 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 May 19 - 08:27 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 May 19 - 08:06 AM
Stilly River Sage 14 May 19 - 09:32 PM
Rapparee 14 May 19 - 09:03 PM

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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jun 19 - 09:40 PM

Okay, I'm home. I brought home with me two very small (about one inch high) Navajo kachinas with removable masks and a small mountain lion fetish. Both of these were for Pat. I have several books and a nice quartz crystal.

I also have, on some of my clothes, thousand year old cooking fire soot from sherds of gray corrugated ware (which if whole would have looked something like this). I will wash my clothes tomorrow and return the soot to nature.

I handled pottery sherds (Mesa Verde Black and White, redware, early and late white unpainted, and others), stone flakes, poundstones, cores, manos, polishing stones, bird bones (probably turkey), and some human bones. I didn't bring any home with me because if you do Haashch'éé Oolt'ohí will persecute you until you return them, just as Pele does to those who remove "souvenirs" from Haleakala. I got enough trouble taking care of Mom without a Wendigo pursuing me!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jun 19 - 09:48 PM

I shall be home tomorrow and will apprise everyone of what I did or did not abscond with.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 08 Jun 19 - 02:46 PM

Well yeah, there's that too. And NAGPRA if any of it comes out of graves.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Jun 19 - 02:33 PM

It's not just Anasazi hexes Rap would need to worry about. Those who violate The Antiquities Act of 1906, which affords legal protection to Native American artifacts, are subject to having their places of residence haunted by the ghost of Teddy Roosevelt, who signed the Act into law when he was US president. Waking up in the middle of the night to see old TR standing at the foot of your bed holding an elephant gun is a rather disconcerting experience.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 08 Jun 19 - 01:21 PM

I hope Rap knows that if any Anasazi artifacts accidentally make it into his carry-on luggage that he and his trip and the house will be hexed until it returns to it's place of origin. I saw that in movies several times, so it must be true.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 08 Jun 19 - 12:36 PM

Easy does it, MOM.
I suspect Rapparee is still busy with
the artifacts from the Anasazi civilization.

He'll let you know when he comes home.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 Jun 19 - 10:55 PM

I wondered why she was so quiet out on the screened in porch. Asleep after that taste testing.

MOM, I have been doing through the agonizing steps of putting things back into the new computer that I want to use from the old one. Some stuff I can copy and paste, other things need to be reinstalled. And unfortunately, it must be done sans alcohol or you can really muck up the results. I'll tuck MOM in later.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 Jun 19 - 08:14 PM

The reason Mom hasn't been very active of late is that she heard some bozo is going to impose tariffs on tequila and she's been stocking up before prices go up. Of course, stocking up involves quite a bit of taste testing. Wouldn't want to waste valuable storage space on inferior booze and there's only one foolproof way to tell the good stuff from the swill.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 05 Jun 19 - 12:43 PM

MOM, I heard crickets last evening at suppertime. For the first time
since it got warm.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 03 Jun 19 - 10:29 PM

Oh, gawd. . . the cables. It's already spaghetti back there, and now there will be two desktops (at least for a while.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Jun 19 - 09:33 PM

Mom will be more than happy to help with the new desktop, Maggie. Not the lifting and wiring and such, just the swearing and cussing. Those are two of her favorite activities.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 03 Jun 19 - 07:59 PM

My desktop checked out last weekend and the little laptop is doing a yeoman's job during this break until the new Dell arrives. Heavy lifting then, moving files. Ugggg. MOM will probably turn up the TV louder so she doesn't have to listen to me cursing at the equipment.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 03 Jun 19 - 03:21 PM

It isn't that I don't care, MOM,
it's just that a computer is not in my living space
and there are only certain hours every day
when I have access to one ...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jun 19 - 09:59 AM

Poor Mom! Nobody except me cares. But I care! Here, have your favorite summer sippin' drink of a half-and-half whiskey sour with a cold gin chaser while I make you a mint julep.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 May 19 - 09:22 PM

Sorry, didn't mean to leave all in bold. Phones aren't meant for HTML.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 31 May 19 - 10:17 AM

She will be thrilled to learn about that when she gets back to the house. She took the kitchen table shaker out into the garden to a-salt the slugs. She's out there cackling like Margaret Hamilton in the Wizard of Oz right now.

"Take that, my pretty!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 May 19 - 08:33 AM

Mom, I bought a small bottle of your gin and I also have a bear mat from your ally works! And a cap proudly proclaiming “Moab Brewrey


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 30 May 19 - 01:32 PM

Apropos of BWL's "get the fuck out' :

the one I use all the time is
"calm the fuck down." (I get distracted easily.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 May 19 - 11:56 AM

Mom!

When I went to have breakfast this morning, I pulled a bagel from a package marked "Everything". Imagine my surprise when it didn't have sausage, egg, and cheese on it! I had to prepare those items and add them to a bagel that was supposed to already have "everything"! That's about as blatant a case of false advertising as I've ever encountered!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 May 19 - 07:12 PM

Mom! I’m in YOUR town in Utah having dinner in YOUR brewery and guess what! They’ve added a distillery and you didn’t even tell us! What a nice surprise! And your beer is as excellent as it has always been!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 May 19 - 10:31 PM

I escaped the British blockade of Baltimore and Ft. McHenry as well as being held a prisoner by Cornwallis during the Franco-American siege of Yorktown. I haven't been to Not-So-Great-Anymore Britain in several years. Now I type this in Salt Lake City, and tomorrow will depart for Mesa Verde country to assist in cataloging Anasazi artifacts. The details of my escapes would make thrilling, hair-raising, action-packed, adventure reading but I will spare you that right now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 May 19 - 05:32 PM

The "Rap for Emperor" thread has a more religious slant than the MOAB.

Just as Haile Selassie, the Emperor of Ethiopia, is central to the Jamaican religion of Rastafarianism, so is Rapparee, Emperor of Wherever the Fuck He's Emperor Of, central to the religious practice of Rapstafarianism.

Rapstafarianism is unique among world religions in that it has no belief system, no supreme being, no rituals, and no predilections toward buggering little boys. The only thing it has in common with other religions is that heretics and non-believers are subjected to imprisonment in dank, dark, dungeons where they experience horrendous tortures like being forced to listen to beginner-level banjo players.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 28 May 19 - 02:53 PM

Just about everything belongs on MOAB. That Rap for Emperor thread is a little MOAB annex, I'm guessing. I don't think I've actually read it. There are only so many hours in the day . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 27 May 19 - 02:14 PM

Maybe that announcement
belongs on the
Rap for Emperor thread?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 27 May 19 - 11:43 AM

There is too much news coming out of that part of the woods, Rap. We were all hoping to read of Farage's being forced to walk the plank, but instead, he's recruiting a xenophobic crowd to make Europe an unhappy place. Just as well you got out of there!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 May 19 - 06:38 PM

What happened to my announcement to I’ve escaped from the British???


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 26 May 19 - 04:29 PM

the natives are quiet this weekend


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 25 May 19 - 10:53 AM

Some local parades on Monday of this long weekend.
Would not surprise me if there were a Saturday parade or two.
Those can tie up the roads in and out of any given town.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 24 May 19 - 09:45 PM

Yes - barbecue season is in full swing for MOM. She pulled some butcher-paper-wrapped carcasses out of the freezer this evening to let them thaw by Sunday.

It's going to take a while to clean out the grill, there may have been mice nesting in it over the winter.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 24 May 19 - 05:13 PM

Ah, Memorial day weekend has arrived. It is known for opening beaches, pools, appliance sales, sunburns and roadwork to coincide with a million drivers taking to the roads. The favorite Memorial day treat is barbecued unknown shoulder and beer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 24 May 19 - 01:10 PM

Is MOM going to watch the Decoration Day parade,
or is she riding one of the parade floats?
-- ... floating on the float?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 23 May 19 - 02:59 PM

That reminds me that I once did the entire exterior of a ginger bread house in the San Francisco Painted Lady style. Purples lavenders pink with trims of orange yellow and dark blue on 13th st Buffalo.

I'm just doing white woodwork and doors today, strapping down a roof tarp for a car port and fixing a hot tub hidaway umbrella.

Mom wanted red trim on the painted lady but I refused.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 23 May 19 - 01:57 PM

MOM loves to paint, but it's usually slogans on walls, not the House Beautiful sort of painting.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 23 May 19 - 06:16 AM

I have exhausted my motivation and stamina to do any yard work for the last week. But progress is accumulative in both detail painting and outdoor makover projects, in the fullness of time and with all deliberate glacial speed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 22 May 19 - 07:52 PM

Tackling the yard today, while MOM's sitting on the shady porch sipping something that has her very relaxed and nodding off. It's that time of year.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 22 May 19 - 05:09 PM

Upstairs, MOM,
before you miss the sunset.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 21 May 19 - 08:57 AM

every stain

Fixed, but not removed, because the count is everything!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 21 May 19 - 07:26 AM

There is no such thing as away
There is only farther out
always a trace remains
of every bout,
every stain


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 21 May 19 - 12:13 AM

Not to be confused with a flying fuck.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 May 19 - 09:03 PM

Mom!

When someone tells you to "Get the fuck out!" what laundry product should you use? Would the one you use to get raspberry jam out work? What if you used the wrong thing and it didn't get all the fuck out, but only part of it? Do you think people would notice? Would they say, "Yuck! You still have some fuck on your jeans! Go back home and rewash them and, this time, get the fuck out!

Maybe it would be best to use a pressure washer instead of a washing machine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 19 May 19 - 11:35 AM

The creek bank behind my house is covered with exposed roots from the trees above, and those are covered with snagged plastic grocery bags. I need a kayak to paddle around the edge of the pond back there and collect it all. Right now I walk down there and pick up fossils.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 17 May 19 - 10:22 PM

A billionaire 'entrepmanure' took a new type of vessel deeper into the abyss of the 'Marianus Trench' than anyone before and made a discovery.

He discovered a plastic grocery bag.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 May 19 - 08:26 PM

Hi, Mom!

It's time to take a multiple-choice test!

QUESTION: When driving east from Alabama into Florida on Interstate 10, there is a Florida landmark that is so big it is visible for a couple of miles before you actually get to the state line.

Is it:

A) The launch pad at Cape Canaveral

B) Cinderella's Castle at Disney World

C) The Perdido Landfill where Pensacola dumps its garbage


Yes folks, the correct answer is "C". The first glimpse of Florida seen by visitors driving in from places like Texas and California is a man-made mountain of garbage.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 May 19 - 10:50 AM

PS: Keep on top of it, Mom! You're the best of the best of the best ad infinitum.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 May 19 - 11:16 PM

Dear Mother,

How are you? I am fine. The weather here is okay, but tomorrow and Saturday it's supposed to rain.

I shan't post for a couple of days, until Saturday night at the earliest, I guess. I have to fly to Philadelphia on Saturday and must overnight in Salt Lake City tomorrow. If all goes well my post from Philadelphia will be from our cabin on MV Grande Caribe.

Your Favorite,
Rapparee


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 May 19 - 09:14 PM

We didn't have any sidewalks. Nor did we have street gutters, so I did not grown up as a guttersnipe. Neither was due to the Great Commie Plot, but to a lack of desire on the part of the city. Heck, we didn't have a storm drain until I was about 15 -- we just let the water flood where it would. When I found out about storm drains (we called them "sewer holes") I was devastated that we, who lived on a corner, didn't have one. One day after school my friend Bob and I spent about an hour and half investigating the one on the corner where the school was. I intended to build one for my family. Not coming home right after school caused problems when Bob's father showed up looking for him. I got a ride home and Bob got more than that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 May 19 - 08:27 AM

Also, our neighborhood had no sidewalks. Sidewalks would encourage walking which, as we all know, is detrimental to the financial well-being of automakers and oil companies, two of the pillars of Capitalism. If we were to walk to school instead of having Mom drive, the Communists would win!

(By the way, since the fall of the Soviet Union, almost all suburban developments have been built with both parks and sidewalks. They are no longer part of the Communist Conspiracy. Nowadays, they're just things children don't use because the media has convinced their parents that there's a child rapist hiding behind every bush and tree.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 May 19 - 08:06 AM

I did not grow up across from a park with a backstop. I grew up in one of those postwar suburbs built when the idea of the government compelling developers to set aside land for community recreation was part of The Great Communist Conspiracy. We played baseball in the street where getting hit by cars proved what loyal little Americans we were. The nearest parks were about five miles away, in a neighborhood built during the 1930s, before anyone knew that baseball diamonds and sliding boards were threats to the American Way of Life.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 14 May 19 - 09:32 PM

I grew up literally across the street from a tiny city park that had only one main feature: a chain-link backstop. We managed to dream up many other games, though often as not we played some version of softball.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 May 19 - 09:03 PM

BUT when the Leonines played the rules stated that a runner who had struck the ball could only be put "out" by hitting him with the thrown ball. Also, any number of players could play at a time as long as the number on each side was the same. And of course the playing field was square or rectangular. There were, naturally, no foul balls and the distances between safe havens ("bases") weren't fixed.


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