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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Bee-dubya-ell 02 Jul 19 - 07:28 PM
Rapparee 02 Jul 19 - 06:31 PM
Rapparee 01 Jul 19 - 10:22 PM
keberoxu 01 Jul 19 - 05:31 PM
Stilly River Sage 01 Jul 19 - 10:27 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 30 Jun 19 - 11:51 PM
Rapparee 30 Jun 19 - 08:35 PM
keberoxu 29 Jun 19 - 07:46 PM
Stilly River Sage 28 Jun 19 - 10:13 PM
Rapparee 28 Jun 19 - 09:48 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 28 Jun 19 - 12:12 PM
Rapparee 27 Jun 19 - 09:04 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 27 Jun 19 - 08:22 PM
keberoxu 27 Jun 19 - 08:08 PM
GUEST, Freds 26 Jun 19 - 09:53 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 26 Jun 19 - 01:31 PM
Stilly River Sage 26 Jun 19 - 10:23 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Jun 19 - 11:50 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Jun 19 - 11:37 PM
Rapparee 25 Jun 19 - 10:09 PM
Rapparee 24 Jun 19 - 10:09 PM
Rapparee 23 Jun 19 - 09:43 PM
Stilly River Sage 23 Jun 19 - 06:11 PM
keberoxu 23 Jun 19 - 04:26 PM
Stilly River Sage 23 Jun 19 - 12:52 AM
Rapparee 22 Jun 19 - 08:45 PM
Rapparee 21 Jun 19 - 08:51 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Jun 19 - 10:59 AM
Rapparee 20 Jun 19 - 08:22 PM
Stilly River Sage 20 Jun 19 - 05:11 PM
Stilly River Sage 20 Jun 19 - 01:26 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 19 Jun 19 - 11:36 PM
Rapparee 19 Jun 19 - 09:28 PM
Stilly River Sage 19 Jun 19 - 12:16 PM
keberoxu 19 Jun 19 - 12:16 PM
Rapparee 17 Jun 19 - 02:37 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 17 Jun 19 - 04:50 AM
Rapparee 16 Jun 19 - 08:37 PM
keberoxu 16 Jun 19 - 01:16 PM
Stilly River Sage 15 Jun 19 - 02:28 PM
Rapparee 15 Jun 19 - 12:54 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 Jun 19 - 06:24 AM
Stilly River Sage 15 Jun 19 - 12:06 AM
JennieG 14 Jun 19 - 10:45 PM
Rapparee 14 Jun 19 - 09:14 PM
keberoxu 14 Jun 19 - 03:55 PM
Stilly River Sage 14 Jun 19 - 03:39 PM
keberoxu 14 Jun 19 - 01:16 PM
Rapparee 13 Jun 19 - 09:48 PM
keberoxu 13 Jun 19 - 05:41 PM

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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Jul 19 - 07:28 PM

Hi, Mom!

The headline of a news item on NPR's website says "A Fire Kills 14 Crew Members Onboard Russian Navy Sub."

Why is it necessary to specify that the sub belongs to the Russian Navy? Does the Russian Air Force have subs too? How do they get them to fly?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jul 19 - 06:31 PM

This is my second posting with said router!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jul 19 - 10:22 PM

This is my first posting anywhere on a brand new wifi router!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 01 Jul 19 - 05:31 PM

MOM, it's time to get on top of those misunderstood pixels.
Up we go.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 Jul 19 - 10:27 AM

The noise and fuss around my house this week will be the pulling down of two failing ceilings in order to have them replaced. And cleaning up the insulation as it comes down. I'm pretty sure I'll be so tired that I'll sleep through any noise.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Jun 19 - 11:51 PM

Where I live, everybody has (A) guns and (B) enough property to shoot targets without needing to leave their own backyards. Gunfire is so common that that the sound of fireworks is just more of the usual background noise. My dog's so used to loud noise that she sleeps right through both July 4th and New Year's Eve.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jun 19 - 08:35 PM

There was a time I liked the bangs and booms. Now I appreciate the lovely star clusters and such. The bangs and booms drive me to my lair down in the basement. Too reminiscent of other bangs and booms.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 29 Jun 19 - 07:46 PM

... and first we have to get through
Independence Day
on the Fourth of July,
fireworks and all.

(SRS, I hope your two dogs
are okay with the expletive-deleted fireworks.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 28 Jun 19 - 10:13 PM

We're entering the political season, there will be PLENTY to go around.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jun 19 - 09:48 PM

Oh no! But the emergency tinklers fire suppression system is supposed to kick in automatically when the temperature exceeds 3.5 x 108°K.

But the best way to prevent such ignition is to smother the fuel with more BS, as Bee Dubya suggests.

Encourage others to participate as well. And if you notice a Certain Odor around your computer, activate your automatic tinkler.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Jun 19 - 12:12 PM

EMERGENCY PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT!


The worst wildfire to hit Spain in 20 years is currently burning. It started when a pile of manure caught fire. The combination of the normal heat generated by composting plus extremely high atmospheric temperatures caused the pile of shit to ignite.

Now, as we all know, fresh shit does not burn. Only old shit decomposing in compost piles gets hot enough to burn. Therefore, it is vitally important that Mom gets frequent shovels full of fresh shit so she won't catch on fire.

Do your part! Post more shit to Mom. If Mom goes up in flames, your computer will melt!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jun 19 - 09:04 PM

Freds can go anywhere, I think. They infect insert show up wherever they please. If they are helping the Legion(s), so much the better. There are some things even beyond the reach of Max the Mighty!

For Caesar had his Brutus — Charles the First, His Cromwell — And the Galactic Overlord may profit by their example. If this be treason, make the most of it! For you may cry, Peace, Peace but there is no peace. The War of the Galactic Overlord is actually begun! The next gale that sweeps from the Galactic north will bring to our ears the clash of resounding arms! Our brethren are already in the field! Why stand we here idle? What is it that you wish? What would you have? Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Jun 19 - 08:22 PM

Not fair, Mom! The rest of us don't get to pretend to be sex-craved cannibals from distant galaxies, but someone has a super special decoder ring that lets him/her/it bypass the rules! How many boxtops did he/she/it have to send off to get it? And what brand of cereal was it?

You only need to ask. And have it written and ready to go. ---Mom's amanuensis


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 27 Jun 19 - 08:08 PM

Just as long as
the floor doesn't cave in under MOM ...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST, Freds
Date: 26 Jun 19 - 09:53 PM

Many of us have been employed at Fred Meyer stores in the Pacific Northwest. Thus we are on hand to operated the Idaho, Washinton, Oregon, and Montana Legions' antianticrepuscular projectors. These will "follow back" the anticrepuscular rays and nicely jam up the ACR Squirters. This will knock the GO and his or her minions all catawumpus and discombobulate his or her plans for jollification like licking butter off a knife. Might be even an absquatulation, but probably not.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Jun 19 - 01:31 PM

I have received the following message from freds:

Since pseudonymous GUEST posting is no longer allowed in the Mudcat BS section, we will not be able to assist you with your problems with the Galactic Overlord and that anticrepuscular ray thingie.

Thanks for your concern about our employment uncertainty due to the closing of many freds stores, but your concern is unwarranted. Those of us whose jobs were affected have simply changed our names to biglots or harborfreight and found immediate employment.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 26 Jun 19 - 10:23 AM

Well damn. The ceiling fell in Monday night in my office. I haven't yet gone to the huge mess and fuss (and expense) of fixing the shifting foundation so nails pulled loose from sheet rock and POW!!! you have a mess of gypsum and dusty insulation all over the place. But MOM was so impressed with how empty the room looked once I excavated the NEW computer and all of the equipment (temporarily living in the dining room) that she declared she wanted to set up her camping cot and sleep under the stars.

I took away her adult beverage and explained that she'd be staring up at the underside of the roof, though the fresh air coming through is rather nice.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Jun 19 - 11:50 PM

Sorry, that should be the GO (Galactic Overlord) freds needs to do battle with, not the GA. The GA is the GO's cousin, the Galactic Asshole. He's not screwing up any Galactic Games.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Jun 19 - 11:37 PM

I'm not so sure The Legion is equipped to do battle with anticrepuscular rays. What we really need to save The Games from the GA is freds.

And, since a whole bunch of freds stores are closing, there should be lots of freds looking for gainful employment. They'd probably like to get back in some serious cosmic combat action after spending years working incognito as cashiers and stock clerks in cut-rate discount stores.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jun 19 - 10:09 PM

Most of the Legion is busy preparing for the coming battle(s). Currently they are enlisting the help of Miss Matilda's Elegant and Refined Young Ladies.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jun 19 - 10:09 PM

This is terrible! The Galactic Overlord is sucking in all of the lights and enjoyment of the Galactic Games! He's using anticrepuscular rays to do it!

I'm alerting the Idaho Legion, if enough are sober.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jun 19 - 09:43 PM

Go to a Dark Skies area some moonless night and look up. You'll see the display put on to celebrate the opening of Galactic Games. The Bloonians (ß Piscotis 6) are the odds-on winners of the Clean and Jerk, as their planets runs 150 times Earth's gravity. Contrary to current notions, the folks from a Centauri 3 are not likely to win the equestrian events as no legal saddle will accommodate people with seventeen legs of various length.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 23 Jun 19 - 06:11 PM

World Cup - Bah! We're interested in the Galactic Games! Alpha Centauri's second planet is in the lead. Stray asteroids are flung through wormholes, and they're winning on both distance and style.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 23 Jun 19 - 04:26 PM

Well, MOM, across the proverbial pond,
the World Cup is underway,
and Mudcat's soccer/football thread is bound
to get some new posts
down here in the BS section.

But before that happens,
let's climb to the top of the queue,
so that the soccer / football doesn't
push MOAB off the page altogether.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 23 Jun 19 - 12:52 AM

Amos would have liked that discussion of good and bad pixels, then digressed into quarks and black holes and all manner of Big Science.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jun 19 - 08:45 PM

Ah, the burden! the burden! Amos gone, and I, only I, left to console Mom on the loss of her favorite bottle! Yes, it slipped from her agéd fingers just as she most needed the contents! Yea, her beloved Tigers lost to Cleveland 2 to 0, and crisis piled upon crisis until her hands shook so that she could no longer hold her liquor anymore.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jun 19 - 08:51 PM

There are no bad pixels, just misunderstood ones. I've known many pixels and while some were quite misunderstood, they were not bad or evil, just, well, misguided. There's even a
song from way back in the early 1960s that tries to explain it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Jun 19 - 10:59 AM

I agree about the waste of good pixels. Here at the MOAB we have a huge stockpile of bad pixels so we never have to waste the good ones.

IMHO, people who waste good pixels should have to replace them by doing slave time in the nearest data mine. Let 'em spend a day pitchforking pixels into pony-carts or backfilling burlap bags with bandwidth and they'll think twice about posting MOABic BS to "serious" threads.

(Yes, I know "backfilling burlap bags" doesn't make any sense. Burlap bags are filled. Temporary holes and trenches are backfilled. But Mom likes alliteration more than making sense.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jun 19 - 08:22 PM

I always shout "Gardy Low!" before...umm...micturating. It's only polite!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 20 Jun 19 - 05:11 PM

It seems to me that the discussion of "bathroom" "loo" and such could easily have saved space in another thread and happened here. What a waste of perfectly good pixels.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 20 Jun 19 - 01:26 PM

I have two of them here, trying to convince them that I'm boss. One refuses to communicate with the network or other devices, so I guess it's safe from viruses. The other one I'm still trying to bend to my will (despite Microsoft's sneaky software).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Jun 19 - 11:36 PM

I no longer have computer trouble. When I get a new computer I tell it, "Listen, Bub, you are expendable. You and your ilk no longer cost an arm and a leg. You don't even cost a pinky finger. If you give me any grief, you will not be repaired. You will be replaced. And it will cost me less than a month's car payment. You are not worth a single iota of stress. Blink your cursor if you read me loud and clear."

You just gotta show 'em who's boss.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jun 19 - 09:28 PM

I was having computer trouble. It was not, and is not, fun.

To put it other ways,

Ég átti tölvuleit. Það var ekki, og það er ekki gaman.
Ek het rekenaar probleme gehad. Dit was nie, en is nie, pret nie.
Ordenagailuko arazoak izan nituen. Ez zen dibertigarria izan.
Bilgisayar sorunum vardi. Eglenceli degildi ve degildi.
Bhí trioblóid ríomhaire agam. Ní spraoi é, agus níl sé.
Sa i ai a?u faafitauli faaletupe. E leai, ma e le malie, malie.
Nilikuwa na matatizo ya kompyuta. Haikuwa, na sio, nikifurahia.

Et cetera.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 19 Jun 19 - 12:16 PM

WHOA! If Max hadn't had the Mudcat homepage set on three days off posts MOM would have dropped off the page yesterday.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 19 Jun 19 - 12:16 PM

Come on, MOM,
while Rapparee goes fly fishing,
let's climb back up to the top of the BS section.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jun 19 - 02:37 PM

BAH! Out here we FLY FISH using flies made from surplus Navy anchors (last used on battleships) and tied with fossilized hair from wooly mammoths, 12 inch hawsers, and shiny bits of airplanes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Jun 19 - 04:50 AM

I ain't afraid of no big-ass worms. I got me some big-ass fish hooks. Big-ass worms is afraid of me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 19 - 08:37 PM

And the Polouse Worm? It's out there, waiting....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 16 Jun 19 - 01:16 PM

Let's get to the top of the queue, MOM,
and don't let the bunyips drag you down.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 15 Jun 19 - 02:28 PM

I used to see those mounds at the top of crayfish burrows in areas along the Ouachita River where I worked in Louisiana.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 19 - 12:54 PM

How about the US Navy's submarine training facility in Idaho?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Jun 19 - 06:24 AM

Then there's the subterranean crayfish, which is a total failure as a hoax since it actually does exist. Most people think crayfish only live in bodies of water, but they can live in burrows dug on dry land as long as the water table is shallow enough. I have them on my property, 500 yards from the nearest creek. CLICK


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 15 Jun 19 - 12:06 AM

Oh, well, that's Hood Canal mythology. Who knows what's real over there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennieG
Date: 14 Jun 19 - 10:45 PM

Every Ozzie knows that Bunyips do exist.

We have been to the Grampians and were probably lucky to escape.....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jun 19 - 09:14 PM

Then there's the Pacific Northwest Tree Octopus. The website details why it's in trouble.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 14 Jun 19 - 03:55 PM

... but what about bunyips?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 14 Jun 19 - 03:39 PM

I could go look but that would take a helluva long time, so I won't. We can safely assume that at some point Catspaw49 dropped in here.

And these days Boojums are of no danger to your guitar, unless you trip in the Sonoran Desert and bang your guitar into one as you fall.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 14 Jun 19 - 01:16 PM

And whether or not Spaw showed up at MOAB,

surely there have been mentions, if only in passing,
of Cletus et alia.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jun 19 - 09:48 PM

And a dedication to Spaw, who may or may not have shown up here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 13 Jun 19 - 05:41 PM

... and so it fell to Bee dubya ell
to follow Rapparee's dedication to Amos.

An onerous job,
but someone had to do it,
and well done it was, too.


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