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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 28 Jun 05 - 10:53 AM
GUEST,MMario 28 Jun 05 - 09:23 AM
Rapparee 28 Jun 05 - 09:02 AM
GUEST,MMario 28 Jun 05 - 08:44 AM
Acme 27 Jun 05 - 11:40 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 27 Jun 05 - 11:37 PM
Acme 27 Jun 05 - 11:26 PM
Rapparee 27 Jun 05 - 10:21 PM
Rapparee 27 Jun 05 - 07:11 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 27 Jun 05 - 06:21 PM
rumanci 27 Jun 05 - 05:20 PM
Rapparee 27 Jun 05 - 05:12 PM
Rapparee 27 Jun 05 - 04:58 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 27 Jun 05 - 04:35 PM
Rapparee 27 Jun 05 - 03:59 PM
rumanci 27 Jun 05 - 01:22 PM
Rapparee 27 Jun 05 - 01:12 PM
Rapparee 27 Jun 05 - 08:48 AM
Acme 26 Jun 05 - 11:31 PM
Amos 26 Jun 05 - 11:25 PM
Rapparee 26 Jun 05 - 09:20 PM
Amos 26 Jun 05 - 09:49 AM
Acme 26 Jun 05 - 09:33 AM
Amos 25 Jun 05 - 08:09 PM
GUEST 25 Jun 05 - 06:30 PM
gnu 25 Jun 05 - 06:10 PM
Rapparee 25 Jun 05 - 05:57 PM
gnu 25 Jun 05 - 05:17 PM
Amos 25 Jun 05 - 04:45 PM
Acme 25 Jun 05 - 01:43 AM
Rustic Rebel 25 Jun 05 - 01:19 AM
Amos 25 Jun 05 - 12:58 AM
Acme 25 Jun 05 - 12:38 AM
Amos 24 Jun 05 - 08:48 PM
GUEST,Rapaire 24 Jun 05 - 03:09 PM
GUEST,A 24 Jun 05 - 01:06 PM
GUEST,Rapaire 24 Jun 05 - 12:15 PM
GUEST,Stilly River Sage 24 Jun 05 - 10:13 AM
Rapparee 24 Jun 05 - 09:37 AM
Amos 24 Jun 05 - 09:25 AM
Acme 24 Jun 05 - 12:49 AM
Amos 23 Jun 05 - 08:42 PM
Rapparee 23 Jun 05 - 05:23 PM
gnu 23 Jun 05 - 04:38 PM
Acme 23 Jun 05 - 04:27 PM
gnu 23 Jun 05 - 10:37 AM
GUEST,MMario 23 Jun 05 - 09:36 AM
Rapparee 23 Jun 05 - 09:23 AM
GUEST,Ralphs 23 Jun 05 - 12:07 AM
Amos 22 Jun 05 - 11:58 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Jun 05 - 10:53 AM

Is this burping some secret code for figuring out where Amos is?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 28 Jun 05 - 09:23 AM

yes - my "cousin" Katya from russia was with me - Burped at the Dowager countess of Stirling and then claimed I had told her it was how to say "hello" in Scots.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jun 05 - 09:02 AM

Gee, Leo, I was invited to join the SCA this past weekend. The SCAers and I discussed it. We even decided on an identity for me. It would be fun to be

































a leper! Yes! I could go to the market and get little bits of meat and let them get a bit whiff and sort of drop them behind me. Dress in a white birka-like thing, ring a bell and say "Unclean!" and eat out of a wooden bowl and drink from a wooden cup. And people would leave you alone! No work to do! No fighting, no hassles! Yup, I think I wanna be a leper in the SCA. Just sit around and rot.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 28 Jun 05 - 08:44 AM

is it morning yet? these time-trips are horrendous - and the weather in England was terrible, hot, sunny!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Jun 05 - 11:40 PM

There's also "no noise in Illinois" as an old Chicago friend of mine used to say.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Jun 05 - 11:37 PM

There's also not an Amos, Illinois. Nor is there a Bruce, Maggie, Bunn, Suzie, or Leo. But there is a Michael, Illinois. It's about a hundred miles northwest of St. Louis, MO.

Oddly, I'll be in the St. Louis area later this summer, but I don't think a side trip to Michael is on my itinerary.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Jun 05 - 11:26 PM

They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa!
link
Lyrics :

Remember when you ran away and I got on my knees and begged you not to
leave because I'd go berserk?? Well...
You left me anyhow and then the days got worse and worse and now you see
I've gone completely out of my mind.. And..
They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!
They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa
To the funny farm. Where life is beautiful all the time and I'll be
happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats and they're
coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!!!!

You thought it was a joke and so you laughed, you laughed when I had said
that loosing you would make me flip my lid.. RIGHT???
I know you laughed, I heard you laugh, you laughed you laughed and
laughed and then you left, but now you know I'm utterly mad... And..


They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa,
They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa.
To the happy home. With trees and flowers and chirping birds and basket
weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes and they're
coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!!

I cooked your food, I cleaned your house, and this is how you pay me back
for all my kind unselfish loving deeds.. Huh??
Well you just wait, they'll find you yet and when they do they'll put you
in the ASPCA, you mangy mutt!!! And...

They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa.
They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa.
To the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time and I'll be happy
to see those nice young men in their clean white coats and they're coming
to take me away, ha-haaa!!!
To the happy home, with trees and flowers and chirping birds and basket
weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes and they're
coming to take me away, ha-haa!!!
To the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time... (fade out)

Hey, buddy!
Yes officer..
You a head?
No, but I'm catching up, ha ha ha....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jun 05 - 10:21 PM

Mode, Illinois, is about 20 miles from Effingham. "Mode" is pretty close to "Moab." There is also Moro, Illinois. And Mattoon. And Sheldon's Grove. And...they're coming back for me. Bye now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jun 05 - 07:11 PM

Yeah, that's just a bit outside of Freeport. Or Cherry Valley. Or Rockford. Or Decatur. Or Litchfield. Or Hillsboro. Or Kampsville. Or Petersburg. Or New Salem. Or







they're coming back for me now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Jun 05 - 06:21 PM

But it's pretty unlikely Amos is going to Moab, Illinois. In fact, it's almost infinitely unlikely, what with there being no such place.

Now, there is an extremely slim chance that this seminar Amos is attending is of such a secretive nature that it can't be held at any pre-existing location, which would necessitate the hasty construction of a brand new town in the middle of a corn field. It's possible that this town might be christened "Moab", but it's much more likely that the seminar is being hosted by an alien race of hyper-intelligent slime-mold and that it is being held somewhere in the Large Magellanic cluster.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: rumanci
Date: 27 Jun 05 - 05:20 PM

blimey !
and he ain't even started on the stretches of water yet

let alone the shredding !


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jun 05 - 05:12 PM

Or Ozone Park. Or Fowler. Or Paloma. Or Gibson City. Or Farmer City. Or Harvard. Or De Kalb. Or Macomb. Or Nauvoo. Or Hamilton. Or Aviston. Or Liberty. Or Columbus. Or Burton. Or Payson. Or Plainville. Or Pittsfield. Or


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jun 05 - 04:58 PM

Or Clinton. There's one of them big ol' nookler things in Clinton. Or Marion. There's a super-maximum security prison in Marion. Or Hull. Or Mendon. Or Big Neck. Or Fishhook. Or Lima. Or Meredosia. Or Jacksonville -- there's a state hospital in Jacksonville. Or Shawneetown. Or Gardner, like in the Schooner Fare song. Or Niles. Or Fermilab. Or Argonne National Lab. Or Starved Rock State Park. Or Peru, where he could visit Art Thieme. Or East Chicago. Or Galena. Or Alton. Or Seehorn. Or Marblehead. Or Pontosac. Or Dallas City. Or Meyer. Or Athens. Or San Jose. Or Browning. Or Beardstown. Or Grant Park. Or Cairo. Or Metropolis. Or Canton. Or Peoria. Or Champaign. Or Urbana. Or Danville. Or...hello. Is it time for my meds? Thank you. You look lovely in white. Thank you. Yes, I'll go now. Thank you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Jun 05 - 04:35 PM

At no time did Amos mention Chicago. He said "Illinois". Illinois is a pretty big state. He could be going to East St. Louis for all we know. Or maybe Kankakee.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jun 05 - 03:59 PM

Amos had to go to Chicago for some sort of hush-hush meeting of something called "The Manhattan Project." Real burn-before-reading type of thing that Amos does. Nobody's quite sure what it is, but Amos is working with some Italian named "Fermy" and a Danish fella named "Bore" and a guy nicknamed "Teller," who I assume is one of those radio talk show hosts.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: rumanci
Date: 27 Jun 05 - 01:22 PM

aye
and he casts a long shadow at Mean Time
why is Amos in the shed anyway ?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jun 05 - 01:12 PM

Mom...they...don't...seem...to...care.

I do, though. I promised Amos and a promise made is a debt unpaid! I will keep you up, Mom! Yea, I will do it though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, because, Mom, I am the meanest bastard in the valley.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jun 05 - 08:48 AM

Okay, okay, EVERYBODY UP UP UP! Drop yer...wait, that won't work and beside Mom would object. Okay, you panywaisted sissies, OUTA THEM RACKS BEFORE I COME AND TURN 'EM OVER!!!! Git dressed -- PT in five minutes and we're starting today in your favorite way: A FIVE MILE RUN IN FULL FIELD GEAR followed by organized grabass!! Fun for all! Come on come on come on....

LET'S MOVE IT, GIRLS AND BOYS!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Jun 05 - 11:31 PM

Pout

Amos didn't ask ME or BWL or RR or Bunn to help, just Rapaire. Mom, Amos is playing favorites again!

(My phone service was cut early Saturday by someone digging in a new housing development to the east of here, so I wasn't available for about 24 hours, but fingers crossed, THAT won't happen again soon).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jun 05 - 11:25 PM

Me? Nope.

BTW, Rapaire, I am away until Wednesday night visiting a technical seminar in Illinois. So KEEP MOM FROM FALLING or I'll come up there and find out why not.


:D

Even if you have to shred my good name to do it!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jun 05 - 09:20 PM

Hot diggety! Just what we need! Spin-coherent electrons in an ultrathin film.

I'd like some logically-coherent politicians in most any matrix. Cement comes to mind.







(Actually, the science news is pretty exciting. Any idea of how long before it's commercially viable?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jun 05 - 09:49 AM

n research published in today's issue of the scientific journal Physical Review Letters, Scott Crooker and Darryl Smith describe their use of a scanning optical microscope to acquire two-dimensional images of spin-polarized electrons flowing in semiconductor crystals mounted on an optical cryostat while using a miniature "cryogenic vise" to apply gentle pressure. By squeezing the crystal in a controlled manner, and without applying magnetic fields, the researchers were able to watch the electron spins rotate (or precess) as they flow through the crystal.

According to Crooker, "electrons, in addition to their negative electronic charge, also possess a magnetic "spin". That is, each electron behaves like a little bar magnet, with north and south poles. Electron spins in semiconductors are typically manipulated by applying a magnetic field, but we've found we can do the same thing, in a controlled fashion, using the "vise". And, the resulting degree of spatial spin coherence is remarkably more robust compared to the spin precession induced by a magnetic field."

Also,

A team of chemists at Penn State has developed a new type of ultrathin film, which has unusual properties that could improve the fabrication of increasingly smaller and more intricate electronic and sensing devices. The material, a single layer made from spherical cages of carbon atoms, could enable more precise patterning of such devices with a wider range of molecular components than now is possible with conventional self-assembled monolayers. The research is published in the current issue of the Journal of the American Chemical Society.




I tell ya, these molecular engineers are the dawning of a whole new array of fine technological solutions (ultimately breeding their own problems). By the time Gluon is my age, his poop will be disassembled with the trash by molecular machines who will recycle the component molecules into containers for re-sale to manufacturers. Any Nigerian farmer who needs water will grab it from the wind, using energy grabbed from the sun. We just might survive a couple of these current crises if we keep this up!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Jun 05 - 09:33 AM

Aw, geez. . .

Take a deep breath = inhale.

repeat = "take a deep breath. Now exhale." again

That guest is such a duffer--must be a ralph trying to "fit in."

Har [not!]


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jun 05 - 08:09 PM

BRA

AAA

AAAAWWW

WWMMMMPPPP!!!



There now. Feel better!! I do, thanks.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 25 Jun 05 - 06:30 PM

I did what you said. I put my hands above my head and I exhaled and then I repeated it. I did this several times.

I fainted and ambulance people had to give me oxygen.

Then I learned that I am also supposed to inhale.

Why didn't you tell me that? Why is it always "exhale," "exhale," "exhale?" Why can't I sometimes do something like inhaling, something just for me for once? Why is it always about you? I have needs and feelings just like you do. Well? Say something.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 Jun 05 - 06:10 PM

Right then... see ya... oops... where did he go?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jun 05 - 05:57 PM

No, I'm not quite that old. I didn't do it, I can prove it, and besides I have an alibi and nobody saw me anyway.

I think I'll join the SCA. I've got an identity thing all picked out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 Jun 05 - 05:17 PM

I assume it really had to do with the adventitious introduction of alcohol rather than oxygen. Rapaire?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jun 05 - 04:45 PM

Well whatever it was, it is about time we got used to the idea.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Jun 05 - 01:43 AM

The quantity of it--it was liberated into the air.

And yes--we should all take a deep breath. Hands above your heads, now exhale. Good. Repeat.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 25 Jun 05 - 01:19 AM

She means, take a deep breath, count to seventeen thousand six hunded and fourty seven, then take another breath. Then contemplate the uni-castrated skeeter and pause for reflection from a mirror.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jun 05 - 12:58 AM

I think even unicells used oxygen, SRS....or do you mean some change in the quantity of it?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Jun 05 - 12:38 AM

And that something was. . .

drum roll please. . .


oxygen!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jun 05 - 08:48 PM

Six hundred million years ago, singletons had the Earth largely to
themselves. But then something changed the rules of life and the age
multicellularity was born.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 24 Jun 05 - 03:09 PM

It is a rattle, such as is given to babies. This one is camoflauge and was given to me when I was very gravely wounded and the medics thought I was going to die. It's my death rattle.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,A
Date: 24 Jun 05 - 01:06 PM

Ol' Rap is always promoting alcohol for some reason. Wonder what that rattle in his new desk drawer is? Four Roses?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 24 Jun 05 - 12:15 PM

Rub alcohol on the chigger bites. Alcohol will also take the sting out of skeeter bites (applied externally!).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Stilly River Sage
Date: 24 Jun 05 - 10:13 AM

Now I need a cure for chiggers. I got one of the buggers on my ankle (wasn't poison ivy after all--that's what I had on my arm). I'm a walking advertisement [not] for "move to Texas." Sunburn, prickly heat, bugs and poisonus plants. Ah, summer!

Maybe Gluon would like to come visit with my wunderdawg in that buggy back yard. She needs to burn some energy and it sounds like Gluon can convert it if anyone can. Visualize a twin-bed sized dacron comforter. With much of the stuffing now removed, a bite at a time, by a bored dog. Got that? It looks like Santa was mugged back here, whiskers everywhere. Now imagine the canine gets the idea she's Gluon, and can fly. Every flying dog needs a cape, right? The comforter has been downsized enough over the past weeks that when she charges through the yard it streams behind her as she races across the lawn, dodging trees, the birdbath, and strafing a couple of shrubs. It is a sight to behold! Gluon would love it here. The invitation is always open (daylight hours only, please).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jun 05 - 09:37 AM

Not credible? Me? Why, my treatment of 'em is a lot more humane that of ol' Sagebrush! He waits until the skeeters land on him and then he bashes 'em with a 2 x 4. Blood and guts everywhere! (He usta bash 'em when he saw 'em, but Bear Mountain Bob took umbrage at bein' whacked in the head and fed the 2 x 4 to Sagebrush. Sideways. From the bottom up, so to speak. That's why Sagebrush walks like he does.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jun 05 - 09:25 AM

I find the home remedy much more credible than Rapaire's story about shooting the sexual organs off a mosquito with .44. Mosuitos aren't even .44 all added up sopping wet!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Jun 05 - 12:49 AM

Skeeter repellant from the Dirt Doctor:

Vanilla home remedy for personal use:
8 oz water
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp. orange oil
Spray on liberally.

For site use:
Spray garlic tea over the entire problem area and for even more control, broadcast dry minced garlic at 5-10 lbs per 1000 sq ft.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jun 05 - 08:42 PM

MICROBES CAN PRODUCE ELECTRICAL NANOWIRES, June 23

Researchers at the University of Massachusetts Amherst have discovered a tiny biological structure that is highly electrically conductive. This breakthrough helps describe how microorganisms can clean up groundwater and produce electricity from renewable resources. It may also have applications in the emerging field of nanotechnology, which develops advanced materials and devices in extremely small dimensions.

Full story at http://www.physorg.com/news4722.html


Git them buggers to work, I sez. They can start by disassemblin all the stuff in landfills and the spent fuel rods from the 80's and such. If we hire Arab microbes, they will already know how to disassemble, according to Presidunkin "Doughnut-Brain" Bush.

A


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jun 05 - 05:23 PM

Skeeter beater? Out here in Idyho we either smash 'em with a hammer er a rock or jist whip out the ol' six-shooter and blow the little buggers ta kingdom come.

Why, jist t'other evenin' I was sittin' outside the saloon when ol' Deadface started braggin' what good vision he had. One thing led ta another and afore ya know it we was engaged in a shootin' contest. Ol' Deadface says ta me, "Ya see that butterfly out there on the hitchin' rack off in fronta the General Store?" "The one about two hunndert yards out?" I asks, "the one with the orange wings with spots on 'em?"

"Yup," he says, and by cracky if he don't up and shoot the critter, drillin' it right atween the eyes!

"Ya see the skeeter on the church steeple?" I asks him.

"That cross-eyed one on the left?" he says.

"Yup," I reply and whip out my .44 and shoot it.

"Ya missed!" Deadface says. "It's still flyin' around!"

"Yup," says I. "But he ain't never gonna have any more kids."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 23 Jun 05 - 04:38 PM

You mean, since I did, I really didn't? So, when you didn't, you really did? But, doesn't the fact that I really did and you really didn't... okay, time to back away from the keyboard and have a few cold ones. Let's forget this ever happened.

Soooo, how's the formula for your Skeeter Beater coming along?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Jun 05 - 04:27 PM

You're right, so you didn't. :) My trusty dyslexia to the rescue again!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 23 Jun 05 - 10:37 AM

SRS... but, I did.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 23 Jun 05 - 09:36 AM

solve the mysteries of quarks with the completion of the three most powerful supercomputers ever applied to this problem

as usual - this must be a government funded operation - because how they expect to solve the mysteries of quarks using computers!!! What they need, as any good MOABite could tell them is a flock of ducks, a bunch of airedales, some candlelight, and a romantic setting.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jun 05 - 09:23 AM

Dear God. They're back. Hide the likker an' wimmen an' load up the rifles.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Ralphs
Date: 23 Jun 05 - 12:07 AM

Har! Who the fuck is that pretending to be Freds? Har! Freds don't say "Har!" after every sentence! Har! Ralphs say "Har!" after every sentence! Har! Ralphs are the most annoying species in the known Universe! Har! Freds are pipsqueak wannabes! Har! Get a life, "freds"! Har! Har! Har!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jun 05 - 11:58 PM

LIVERPOOL SCIENTISTS HELP TO SOLVE THE MYSTERIES OF QUARKS


June 21
Particle physicists are embarking on a new attempt to solve the mysteries of quarks with the completion of the three most powerful supercomputers ever applied to this problem, including one in Edinburgh which scientists at the University of Liverpool helped to design and build.
Full story at http://www.physorg.com/news4643.html


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